


Puella Magi Lyrical Ruri

by Lilyliegh



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Magical Girls, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Despair, F/F, Friendship/Love, Magical Girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-06-26 23:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 41
Words: 131,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyliegh/pseuds/Lilyliegh
Summary: “Don’t forget. Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you.”When Ruri learns of puella magi—beautiful warriors that protect the dimensions in exchange for a granted wish—she nearly gives up her soul. However, time and time again Serena stops her. Alongside her classmate Yuzu and fellow puella magi Ray and Rin, Ruri seeks out a way to help her friends when she feels pushed aside yet trapped in a terrible, nightmarish plot.Based on the series Puella Magi Madoka Magica.Written for the YGO Big Bang 2018.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! so same as last year, i took part in the YGO Big Bang. this is a shorter story (133k as opposed to 175k), but still action-packed and a crossover, aka my new specialty. first off, a huge thank you to my artist, [Muse](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/) and my beta [starsweptmeow](http://starsweptmeow.tumblr.com/). the art Muse made for me is adorable (and she has commissions [here!](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/commissions)), and star read through this story _twice_ to give me wonderful help and critique! 
> 
> next, i want to point out that this follows the manga plotline to a T, so some anime scenes may be missing, but the general plot and premise are still the same ^^ and if you're wondering where the inspiration for the title came from, it's a combination of Madoka's Magica (Puella Magi) and Lyrical Nanoha (Lyrical Ruri). technically, l's and r's sound the same in the Japanese language, so the title is a nod to that ^^
> 
> anyways, without further ado, enjoy!

The sky is burning. It glows and erupts in plumes of thick, choking smoke that catch at her ankles and wrists. From within her chest something cracks and breaks, bending her over her chest. Through her blurry, teary eyes, she sees the soot- and blood-stained ground. What happened here? What’s going on?

Glancing up, Ruri sees that the smoke has swept through the entire city. Despite it cloaking the buildings and sky like a hideous cape, in places Ruri sees a little bit of civilisation—a flicker of a sign, a spot of light in the dark. Those little pieces of reality spark a feeling of hope within her, even when seconds later the feeling disappears, replaced by a choking fear that asphyxiates her. No matter where she looks, she knows she’s in trouble.

“It’s too much for her to handle by herself.”

Ruri spins, ribbons fluttering around her face. She’s not alone in this wasteland—no, there is someone else with her. It’s another girl, just an inch or two taller than her with long, purple hair cascading around her face and down her back. She wears a short, red dress, with long sleeves that shimmer with inlaid gems. The skirt of the dress is short and shoots out like a paint-splatter, but her legs are covered by black leggings reaching down mid-thigh. Her feet are clasped in knee-high combat boots.

She looks a bit like the street performer with her beautiful clothing meant for running and jumping and—

Oh. She’s running.

“Serena—” Ruri says, shooting out a hand … to what? Stop her? The more Ruri begins to come to about where she is and what’s going on, the greater the fear grows within her. What happened here? 

“You fucker!” Serena screams. She runs right towards Ruri, face ripped in fury. However, at the second Ruri thinks she’ll be bowled over by Serena, instead she feels someone gust by her. Serena runs  _ past  _ her, down the road, one hand raised as if she were going to smite the world itself. Ruri’s eyes widen and she brings a hand to her mouth, ready to call out to Serena and ask her what’s going on.

Ruri’s eyes don’t make it to Serena. They catch on something, a little black dragon crouched down on the ground. With eyes the color of emeralds, it gazes up at Ruri. Ruri has seen this dragon before, so she stretches down her hand and scratches at its little ears and along its spiny back. She hears Serena gasp ahead of her and the sound of her ankles twisting, legs running. 

_ Why doesn’t she want this to end?  _ Ruri thinks.

The dragon smiles up at her, nuzzling into her hand. “Ruri.”

Ruri blinks, long and slow. “Yes.”

“Do you want to change destiny?”

Above her, the sky crackles and rumbles. At any second, the world could break apart in a million pieces and never come together. The more Ruri glances around at her surroundings, the more she begins to think that something irreversible happened here—something that, without some otherworldly power, can never be fixed. Through the smog Ruri thinks about her family—about her beloved brother. She has friends here too, and even acquaintances. So many lives live in this world.

Gently, Ruri caresses the dragon’s head. “What … do you mean?”

Ahead of her, Ruri hears someone fall to the ground. She raises her head—

“Ruri.” The dragon blinks at her again, drawing her attention back down to its captivating, green eyes. “You can change everything in this world. You are powerful, Ruri. You are young, full of strength and determination. I bet if you made a wish, it would come true.”

“A … wish?” Ruri rolls the words off her tongue. She’s thrown coins into wishing wells and never had them come true. What’s to say her next wish will come true? “How can that be possible?”

“R—”

_ Snap! _

The dragon shifts towards her, brushing its cheek to her cheek. It startles Ruri at first, for the dragon’s skin is soft, warm even. It feels like skin-on-skin contact, like her mother stroking her cheek and holding her close. If Ruri closed her eyes, she could even imagine she were back at home, sitting on the bed as her mother kissed her goodnight. 

“Of course! That’s why …” The dragon leans back so it can look into her face, nose to nose with her through. 

“Ruri!”

_ Snap! _

Ruri tries to look up, past the dragon to wherever Serena might be, but the dragon’s gaze pulls her right back in. It feels like someone is holding her head in place, forcing her to look down at the little black dragon. No matter what Ruri wants, she can’t steal her eyes away from the sight before her.

“Kurosaki Ruri,” the dragon says, tilting its head to the side, “you should form a contract with me and become a puella magi.”

* * *

A hand rubs along her cheek, rousing her from a deep sleep that Ruri struggles to untangle herself from. She squeezes her eyes shut and then lets them fall open, revealing a bleary, hazy sight of the star-speckled ceiling in her room. Ruri closes them and opens them several more times; each time, she becomes a little more aware of her surroundings—of the sounds of her breathing, of the blankets on her body, of the figure standing above her stroking her cheek.

“Shu …?” Ruri mumbles, rolling her head upwards.

The hand rustles her hair, jostling her head back and forth. “Got the first syllable out.”

Ruri blinks. The boy looking up at her could be a man were he not playfully sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, lips quirked in a smile. Ruri is the one of two people who sees this side of Shun: the playful, silly, caring older brother. Normally he’s reserved and sarcastic, pessimistic even in the most optimistic of situations. Now though, in the soft, morning light, he looks like an angel. The sun bounces off his dark blue hair and catches on the turquoise slash of his bangs arching over his eyebrows. He’s all dressed for school: black jacket and pants, collar buttoned up to his chin.

Shun tousles her hair again. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Ruri bats his hand away, and then runs it down her face. She yawns loudly into her hand, rolling her body up into a small, tight ball.

“Hey,” Shun says, shaking her shoulder, “don’t fall back asleep. Come have breakfast.”

“Mmkay,” Ruri mumbles, but she rolls deeper into a ball anyway. In her mind, images of the dragon and the girl flicker in the backs of her eyes. Who were they? It’s as if the memories are on the tip of her tongue, and yet just out of reach. When she tries to recall them, they seem to slip even further back; the more she thinks about it, the harder it becomes to remember.

With a frustrated huff, Ruri kicks her legs over the side of the bed. If she can’t remember, she might as well get up and start the day.

She pads outside of her room and down the hallway, stretching her arms above her head. The hallway is dimmed, but when she enters the kitchen the world lights up before her. Her brother is in the kitchen, stirring away at a pan on the stovetop. All along the counters are dirty dishes and utensils from breakfast time. It looks like he’s used every single piece of kitchenware they own, and Ruri smothers a chuckle behind her hand as she imagines the amount of washing up they will have to do afterwards.

Shun glances around with a sly smile. “Don’t laugh.”

Ruri sidles past him and to the table, eyeing up the pan of fried eggs as she goes along. “I’m not laughing.”

If she had woken up early, or if Shun had woken her up, Ruri would have had a chance to help make breakfast. Today though, the meal is already prepared for her. Ruri takes a seat at the table, tucking her hands between her thighs and crossing her ankles. Today feels like a very special day, and she knows it. There’s a new kind of energy in the room that makes it hard for her to sit still and not giggle at nothing.

Shun comes around with two plates piled high with breakfast: eggs, vegetables, and fish. The rice cooker is already on the table; before Ruri can stand and help, Shun flips open the lid and begins serving out the white rice.

“You’re leagues ahead of me,” Ruri says, tucking a smile into the corner of her mouth.

“You were asleep,” Shun says. “And besides … today is an important day.” He takes a seat opposite her, folding his hands in front of himself. “Let’s eat?”

Ruri nods, clasping her hands together. “Let’s eat.”

Shun’s cooking is Ruri’s favourite kind of food. Each flavour on the plate buzzes and pops in Ruri’s mouth. She can hardly hold herself back from tipping her plate back. In elementary school, Ruri always had the prettiest, tastiest lunches, and Shun’s cooking has only improved since then. Across the table, Shun greedily gobbles up his own food, only pausing to chug his water glass.

Then—“Ruri?”

“Yeah?”

“How is it?”

Ruri hms under her breath, deliberating the response just to make her brother squirm in anticipation. Eventually though she begins to giggle, which in turn makes Shun frown, and so she says, “It’s delicious.”

“Special day, isn’t it?”

“How’d you know?” Ruri says. “It just feels like …” She laughs into her hand. “Shun, you’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“Why would I have any reason to do that?” he says. Expression hardening, he adds, “Finish eating or else you’ll be late. You’re dawdling, sleepyhead.”

“‘M not sleepy,” Ruri says, even while fighting back a yawn. She scoops up the rest of her breakfast though and clears her plate, then carries it back to the kitchen to wash. Shun has already filled the sink and begun to scrub the dishes, so Ruri takes her place next to him and rinses them under the clear, warm water. Standing next to her brother, doing work like this, makes the day seem a little more normal. 

_ What about this day feels special?  _ Ruri wonders.  _ Does it have anything to do with that … dream?  _ Now that she thinks about it, Ruri can’t recall a single detail from that dream. It’s little more than a passing thought in her mind that she  _ was  _ dreaming last night. She curses herself for not writing down what she remembered when she first woke up.

When the dishes are complete, Ruri heads off to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. When Ruri catches her reflection in the mirror, she thinks back to that dream—was she in the dream? Was she alone in the dream, or did she meet someone else? Narrowing her eyes at her reflection, Ruri tries to picture who she might have been that night—

Cautiously, Ruri raises her hand to her hair. There were ribbons there, weren’t they? Yellow ribbons like her favourite dress and the color of daisies. Ruri’s eyes slide over to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom where she keeps all her hair supplies. When she was very little, and well before Ruri has any clear memory of her, her mother used to tie her hair up in ribbons. What would she look like now with ribbons … with pigtails?

Ruri snatches up the two yellow ribbons and fastens them on either side of her head in large, loopy bows. She turns and smiles back at the mirror, expecting to see a beautiful woman looking back at her—only it’s more like a toddler with a puffy face and pigtails positioned at different spots on her head. Ruri puffs out her cheeks and frowns, yanking one down. She tries again, this time watching herself in the mirror as she ties the bows. Again though, the ribbons never look quite right.

“Ruri,” Shun calls to her, “hurry up.”

“I am!” Ruri says, yanking the ribbon tightly around a lock of hair. Girls do their hair up in pigtails all the time and they never have this problem, so how come Ruri finds herself struggling. She twists her lips together, tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth, as she attempts to hold her hair together and fasten the string.

“Ta-da!” Ruri says, letting go—

Her hair tumbles away, the ribbon fluttering to the ground.

“Darn it.”

“Ruri.”

“I’m—”

The bathroom door swings open. Shun looks at her first, then at the one pigtail dangling off the side of her head. His eyes fall to the other ribbon on the ground, and he seems to piece the details together. “Having a bit of trouble this morning, are we?” he says, leaning against the doorframe.

“No,” Ruri says with a huff. She snatches up the ribbon and crumples it in her hand. The other pigtail bounces off her cheek, and Ruri reaches up to snatch that one down too. It was a stupid idea, wasn’t it? She doesn’t have time to dress herself up, put her hair in pigtails—

“Hey.” 

Ruri’s hand stills. 

“Let me help you out.”

Ruri crosses her arms, glancing away. “It might be tricky …”

Shun shakes his head. He turns her around so that she faces the mirror, so that Ruri can see how Shun brushes her hair back and parts it into two long, thick sections. “How come you want your hair in twintails today? You never do your hair like that.”

“I don’t know. I have two ribbons.”

“How about a different kind of updo?”

Ruri raises her eyes, frowning at her brother’s reflection in the mirror. “Are you going to do my hair for me?”

Shun raises both of his hands, holding the ribbons in one and the brush in the other. “What do you think I’m doing here, Ruri?”

“I don’t know,” she says softly, more to herself than to him. She doesn’t say another word after, eyes focused on the reflection of brother in the mirror. He starts by brushing her hair out, letting the thick, purple strands cascade off the brush bristles and flutter down to her back. Then he gathers the hair up and twists it round; like a magician’s trick, the twists and knots become an updo of sorts. He ties the two ribbons through her hair, cinching it tight to the base of her neck. 

“More like a down-do, don’t you think?” Ruri says. She raises a hand to touch the back of her neck, but Shun playfully slaps it away.

“Don’t touch,” he says. “You’ll pull the strands out.”

“Fine,” Ruri says. She catches his eyes in the mirror, smiling. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

“But …” Ruri twists herself in the mirror so that she can see the elaborate hairdo her brother has made for her. “Don’t you think I stand out a bit too much? This really isn’t a special day—just another school day.” It seems a bit too much to wear such a cute hairdo out for a full day of school. She’ll look like she’s trying to stand out and impress someone.

“Isn’t today a special day?” Shun says.

“Not really.”

“Well who cares.” Shun twists her back around to see her reflection; behind her, he purses his lips. “You still look like you to me.”

A bubble of laughter bursts from her lips. Ruri slaps a hand over her mouth as Shun steps back, cheeks heated in embarrassment. He stumbles out the beginnings of several sentences, trying to get his bearings, but the words are out before he can wrangle them back.

“You’re gonna be late,” he says. “Go.”

Tapping her heels together, Ruri adds, “Then I’ll still be me, right?”

She leaves her brother to his musing though. Her backpack is already by the door, and her shoes are lined up by the genkan. Ruri toes her feet into her loafers and tugs her backpack straps over her shoulders. Now in the kitchen, her brother waves to her with his expression firmly set in a frown.

“Go, Ruri,” he says, “or you’ll be late.”

Ruri beams at him. “See you, Shun!”

Outside, the sun and sky greet her with a warm, gentle breeze. Ruri skips down the steps of hers and Shun’s townhouse, and down to the path snaking along a narrow road. An abundance of thick Japanese maples line the pathways, dappling the sidewalk with patches of pale shadows. Ruri bounces on her heels as she walks to school, falling in line behind other students heading to school. She’s not late by any means—Shun is just paranoid about being punctual—and so Ruri takes her time travelling through the city.

For the first few legs of the trip, Ruri doesn’t see anyone she knows. She goes to school with hundreds of girls, and though their faces are familiar they all sort of blend in to Ruri. Sometimes she catches the flicker of a ribbon or a long, fluttering strand of hair, and her head unconsciously snaps to the side, her mind jolting as it tries to remember some forgotten memory.

Then she  _ does  _ jolt, head ricocheting to one side, and Ruri nearly loses her balance when someone tumbles into her and sends them both down to the sidewalk. She shoots out a hand to catch herself, but before she has a chance to fall someone  _ else  _ catches her like a strong, brave princess with thick, curly—

“Mieru?” Ruri squeaks, glancing up. 

“And Yuzu!” the other girl says. Yuzu hops off Ruri, brushing herself down and then extending her hand. She’s got on the same uniform as Ruri, with a high-collared white blouse fastened with a red bow and a plaid skirt that brushes the tops of her knees. Her stockinged legs and knees bounce together as if she’s trying—and failing—to hold her excitement in. “Geez, you were really spaced out today, weren’t you?”

“Was not,” Ruri says, taking Yuzu’s hand and letting Yuzu help her to her feet. Ruri brushes herself down as well, and then peers over her shoulder at Mieru. 

She has her fingers twirled in her long, red hair, and when Ruri cocks her head to the side Mieru says, “There’s something different about you today, Ruri …”

Yuzu is in her face at once. “Yeah, you’re right, Mieru—what’s up, Ruri? What did you change?”

Ruri raises a hand up to answer, but that only seems to draw attention to her hairdo.

“Ah hah! It’s your hair!” Mieru says, clapping her hands together. “You’ve got ribbons in today, yellow ones!”

Yuzu smothers a laugh into her hands. “Did your brother do your hair today?”

“Yes,” Ruri says.

Yuzu keeps on giggling though. “Is that because you couldn’t do your own hair?”

Ruri’s cheeks darken, and she glances away. Leave it to Yuzu to read between the lines. 

Yuzu raises her fingers into her own hair though, twisting the spritely green strands together. “Hey, don’t look so embarrassed,” she says. “That’s why I keep my hair shorter—less upkeep and all that, even when I put my hair in pigtails. I wonder what you’d look like with shorter hair, Ruri.”

Aghast, Ruri raises a hand to her hair. “I’d never—” she begins. It would be her greatest nightmare to chop her hair off, not after she’d let it grow for years and years. Her long hair is healthy too, and Shun has often told her that her hair reminds him of princesses in fairytale stories. It would be criminal to chop it all away, now wouldn’t it? 

“I’m not saying you should,” Yuzu adds, quelling Ruri’s nerves with a wave of her hand. “However …” She looks to Mieru, lips quirking in a devilish smirk. “Who are you trying to impress there, Ruri?”

Ruri opens her mouth to retort, but Mieru beats her to it. “Yeah, Ruri. Normally you just put your hair in a bun or you leave it to hang. What’s the special occasion today? Or …” Mieru comes closer, tapping a single finger to her chin. “Who’s the special someone?”

“W-what?” Ruri says, stumbling over her own words. “Who said anything about—”

“It’s just a guess,” Yuzu says airily, “but I guessed right, didn’t I?”

“No, no,” Ruri says, waving her hands back and forth. “I just wanted my hair in ribbons today, and in fact it was Shun who did this hairstyle, like I had no idea he would put my hair up so fancily, and so I really think you’re—”

Mieru claps her on the shoulder. “Joking.”

Yuzu grins at her. “Just joking, Ruri.”

At their combined smiles, Ruri dazedly falls back. “You two,” she says under her breath, but she feels the tension leave her body and replaced by a small smile. “Today just felt like a special day. I don’t know … I just woke up thinking something good would come from today.”

A arm links with hers; Yuzu bumps playfully against her side, resting her head along Ruri’s shoulder. “That’s all the reason you need to shine, right?”

Ruri nods her head, letting out another long, slow breath, and then presses her head against Yuzu’s. The mood softens around them, and when Ruri closes her eyes, she can feel the warmth of Yuzu’s cheek on her skin, and the flutter of breath that reminds her of springtime wind. 

“Right.”


	2. Two

Though Ruri knows exactly how to get into school—it isn’t her first day, after all—Yuzu still drags her along by her arms, down a cobblestone pathway bordered by dappled maples. Little beds of flowers line the pathway too, carefully tended to in wooden boxes. The birds’ chatter competes with the students’ chatter, and the closer Ruri gets to the school the livelier the day becomes. Naturally, Yuzu can talk over everyone.

“If it’s a special day, I wonder if it’ll be special for me too,” she says, swinging one foot in front of the other. She still has her arm wrapped around Ruri, and she keeps bumping into Ruri as she walks.

“Really, you’re blowing it out of proportion,” Ruri says, chuckling under her breath. “It wasn’t even that strong of a feeling …”

Mieru touches her hair, cheeks dusted pink. “It was enough to celebrate though, wasn’t it?”

Ruri’s own fingers rise to gently brush the soft, violet locks Shun so carefully tied together in the downdo. If Shun saw her he’d slap her hands away, but just for a moment, as she passes the window, Ruri sees her reflection and her fingers twisted in her hair. She looks like a princess, like a warrior, like she did back then …

The image disappears, snapped from her vision. Instead, Ruri hears the growing chatter of students in the hallways. The shoe lockers are the busiest place in the school, and hundreds of boys and girls mill around each other as they head to their classes. Ruri, Yuzu, and Mieru are all in the same class, so Ruri waits for them and they head to class together. As she travels down the hallway, Ruri tries to catch her reflection again. The girl in the glass was familiar, like an alternate image of herself. Ruri  _ recognised  _ herself in that moment. 

She doesn't see her reflection again. 

Yuzu pushes her down the hallway and into the classroom, where they take their seats—Mieru on the opposite side of the classroom, and Yuzu sitting behind Ruri closest to the door. Ruri begins taking out her pencil case and notebook, but no sooner has she begun to set herself up for the lesson does Yuzu lean forward over her desk.

“Hey, what do you think my dad is gonna talk about today?”

Ruri’s eyes slide to the front of the desk where the teacher stands, shoulders quivering with unbridled fury or excitement. He’s Yuzu’s dad, and a dueling teacher at You Show Duel Academy—but he’s also a homeroom teacher and part-time instructor. Ruri loves him for all his charm … but right now he looks like he’s struggling to keep himself together, and Ruri knows as soon as the bell rings he’ll be—

_ Bring! _

Ruri’s shoulders stiffen and her head snaps forward.

Her teacher folds his arms over his chest, drawing his scruffy chin down towards his chest. An athletic man, Ruri has never seen her teacher in anything but a flaming-red tracksuit that matches the fiery colour and shape of his hair. 

“Good morning, everyone.”

Yuzu leans further over the desk, lips pressed to Ruri’s ear; it tickles, and Ruri scrunches up her shoulders at the feeling. “Wait for it.”

“Can I have your attention please?” A pause—

Then the teacher slams both hands on the desk, eyes flaming, and shouts, “Did you see the duel last night? The fired-up, heart-burning duel between passionate City duelists? This is a duel they will be talking about for centuries, one of the best duels I’ve witnessed in my twenty years of teaching at the You Show Duel School. Those duelists, those are the heroes of the dimensions.

“Now listen up: we shouldn’t be here studying history and geography—no, we should be outside, jumping and spinning and dueling! Those are real skills; those are what you need to be a truly heroic duelist worthy of Action Dueling!”

Yuzu snickers, lips still behind Ruri’s ear. “Guess it was a good game last night?”

Ruri nods her head, hiding her smile behind her hand. “It’s good that he wants us to challenge the school system … maybe.”

Then again, as Mr. Hiiragi goes on to lament about the failings of the public school system and the refusal to acknowledge the privileged position sports and dueling has on the education of youth, Ruri feels herself sinking into her seat with another sigh. She agrees with Mr. Hiiragi—she truly does—but Shun saved up his pocket money so she could go to this school and this is her education?

“We shouldn’t be sitting here—we should be out protesting those capitalist pigs demanding youth sit in desks and rote-memorise academics!”

Ruri sighs into her hand.  _ This  _ is her education.

But as quickly as Mr. Hiiragi fires himself up, he suddenly sobers, coughing lightly into his hand and running his fingers through his tangled, red locks. “Ahem. Anyways, before we proceed with this pointless lesson, I’d like to introduce a new classmate to you today. Uh …” He pauses, then chuckles and heads to the door. Throwing it open, he then beckons someone inside. “Come on in, hurry it up, don’t be shy, none of us bite.”

Through the door steps a girl, maybe as tall as Ruri herself, and with thick, purple hair that catches and glows in the sunshine. She has on the school uniform of blouse and skirt, with her large red bow fastened around her slim neck. However, her long hair is fastened back by a singular, yellow ribbon that spikes out as if there’s wire inside of it. Everything about this girl exudes grace and beauty, and Ruri can’t help but let her mouth drop open a bit. Of all the girls in her class, and even in her school, none of them are as captivating at this new student.

The girl makes no eye contact as she marches across the class. She takes up a piece of chalk and writes her name in small, tight kanji:  _ Saotome Serena. _

Ruri swallows.  _ I … know her. I know Serena. I … called her name, back then, in the dream I can’t remember—she was there! _

Standing next to Serena, Mr. Hiiragi taps his fingers across the board. “Why don’t you introduce yourself too?”

Serena’s green eyes narrow into thin, cat-like slits. “Isn’t this enough?”

Mr. Hiiragi shrugs. “Rules of this prison school, sorry.”

She huffs, but to Ruri’s surprise Serena turns and tips her head forward. “Saotome Serena.”

Captivated by Serena’s presence, Ruri doesn’t feel Yuzu come closer to her, pressing her hands down on Ruri’s shoulder, until Yuzu whispers, “Pretty, ain’t she?”

Ruri’s cheeks pop bright red. Hastily, she looks down at her folded hands, now sweaty from … nerves? Ruri feels herself grow warmer, wishing someone would open up one of the windows.

“Hey,” Yuzu says, “look up—I think she’s checking you out too.”

Gawking, Ruri turns her head. “I—I wasn’t—”

Affectionately, Yuzu taps the bottom of Ruri’s curled hair. “You have the looks for it today, too—not that you’re not gorgeous every day, silly.” She pokes out her tongue, tousling her head back and forth. “Hey though, we should go introduce ourselves at break, get to know her.”

The thought of talking with such a girl makes Ruri’s heart leap from her chest, pounding into her ribcage. It sounds so loud that Ruri half-expects the class to hear her beating heart too, and she tucks her arms around her chest to muffle the noise. However, no one seems to have their eyes on her—every single pair of eyes in the class watches as Serena crosses the room and takes a seat towards the back of the class. Serena looks at no one, face impassive.

“What a queen,” Yuzu says, loud enough that a couple students start giggling.

Ruri feels like the world will swallow her up before break time. 

For the rest of the lesson, Ruri can’t keep her eyes off Serena. She tries not to look directly at the girl, instead glancing at the window or at the art hanging from the walls. Out of the corner of her eye though she catches Serena’s mask-like face, never moving more than a muscle throughout the entire lesson. Serena sits like a stone statue balanced on needles; if she moves, her features shift just an inch.

Once class begins no one else seems to take an interest in her, not until break at least. When their teacher leaves the classroom to move on to another room and another lesson, half the students hop from their seats—Ruri and Yuzu included—and march over to where Serena sits. They all huddle in a semicircle in front of Serena’s desk, peeking over each other’s heads to see what Serena is doing. 

“Where did you go to school before?”

“How do you get your hair so soft and silky?”

“Do you play sports? How about art?”

Questions erupt from the students, drowning each other out as everyone tries to compete for Serena’s attention. Ruri feels herself grow self-conscious, standing around her classmate’s desk demanding her attention. If Serena wanted to talk with them, she would have approached them—and considering her cold, aloof attitude at the start of class, Ruri suspects that Serena is not happily attending school.

However, Ruri does have to admit she’s also a bit curious too. She stands up on her tiptoes, peering over the heads of the other students, to catch Serena’s glassy, green eyes. When they make eye contact though, Ruri feels her heart leap into her throat. Serena too—she raises a hand to her head, closing her eyes.

“You OK?” Yuzu asks. She pushes ahead of the other students, dropping both hands on Serena’s desk. “Hey, Saotome, was it? What’s up?”

Serena shakes her head. “Just … a headache.”

Yuzu mumbles some kind of apology, and then turns around to face the other students, eyes two smoldering embers. “Quiet, assholes,” she snaps. “Saotome here has a headache.” She spins back around, features softening once more at Serena sitting rigidly in her desk. Yuzu doesn’t smack her hands on the desk anymore, and instead reaches across to carefully tap Serena’s hand. “Hey … hey there. Why don’t you go to the nurse’s office if your head hurts?”

Serena lifts her head, wincing no doubt from the harsh, artificial lighting in the classroom. “Nurse …?”

Yuzu nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, the nurse’s room.” 

With a sigh, Serena braces her hands on the desk and rises slowly. Like a queen, her hair rustles along her back like great river waves; however, her face has become waxen and pinched, eyes downcast to the floor.

Yuzu reaches out a hand to steady Serena when she wobbles on her feet. “Don’t go by yourself though—you should have someone accompany you.” Suddenly Yuzu smiles ear to ear, eyes sliding over to Ruri among the crowd of students. “Ruri!”

Ruri’s stomach drops to her toes. She … she isn’t, is she? Yuzu’s not … she couldn’t—

“You’re in charge, so you should take Saotome to the nurse’s room.”

For the briefest moment while Ruri’s panic rises, Serena lifts her head to peer at her through her thick, violet bangs. Ruri tries to catch her expression, but before she has a chance Yuzu gives Serena a push forward, saying, “Hurry up or you’ll be late to your next class!”

Serena stumbles towards Ruri, but rights herself just before she collides with Ruri’s chest. Ruri herself feels her cheeks—no, her entire face—grow hotter than lava, and she drops her gaze to cease her embarrassment. This shouldn’t be any weirder than any other time she’s taken someone to the nurse’s office, right? 

... right?

Once Serena has her footing though, she heads on without Ruri. Ruri stumbles along like a young colt after her, through the doorway and out the classroom. Though Serena is new here and should be unfamiliar with the school layout, to Ruri’s surprise Serena knows just the way to get there. She weaves down the hallways with ease, her balance strong and steady now. She keeps her head forward too, and Ruri wonders if she should ask if the movement and calmer environment is helping Serena’s headache.

_ It feels like I’m being led along,  _ Ruri thinks with a smile. 

“Hey … Saotome.”

“Serena.”

Ruri’s heart clamps up and she chokes on her next words. First names already? “Uh … sure.”

Tilting her head back, Serena then asks, “So … what do you want?”

“Oh … well, you see—” Ruri rambles, twisting her fingers in her skirt. How do you tell someone that you saw them in your dreams? How do you tell them that you might be experiencing deja vu, and maybe the dreams you had last night mean that you have had more dreams with this person? It sounds so ridiculous to even think about that Ruri dares herself not to say anything. Still though her heart yearns to share the secret. It’s just the two of them walking down the hallway bordered by large windows. Everyone is in class, so no one would hear her.

Ruri swallows the pit in her throat. It would be wrong to keep a secret from a new classmate, right?

“Uh, Serena … this is going to sound a bit silly of me to say, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but …” Ruri swallows again. “Have we met before?”

Serena’s eyes widen, her shoulders stiffen, her body grows rigid—and then it all goes away, replaced by Serena’s cold, neutral stare. 

Ruri feels her cheeks growing even brighter, and hurriedly she says, “You’re right, that does sound really silly coming out of my mouth! I’m sorry I said something so embarrassing. This is your first day, and you might already have a lot on your mind. Please disregard what I just—”

“Kurosaki Ruri.”

Ruri snaps her head up. “Yes?”

“Do you think your friends and family are precious to you?”

“... huh?”

Serena’s gaze hardens. “Do you?”

“Well … well yes!” Ruri clenches her fists tightly in the folds of her skirt, and within her chest she feels something powerful shift. “Yes because I love my friends and family more than anything else in the dimension. They mean the world to me.”

As if possessed, Serena’s eyes narrow into thin slits. “Good,” she says, voice booming down the hallway. Ruri tries to glance around and see if anyone has poked their head out of the classroom, but she can’t tear her eyes away from the captivating sight of Serena. She truly is a queen, just like Yuzu said—a beautiful, mysterious queen descended from the heavens. 

“Ruri, if what you said is true, and you yourself believe your own words, I hope you’ll remember to protect those feelings. They are important. If something were to happen in the future, I hope you never change yourself. You are you. And if you do—if you change yourself for others and abandon what is precious to you—you will lose everything.”

And with those words, Serena sweeps herself away, heading down the hallway and to the furthest door on the right: the nurse’s office. Ruri hangs back, arms lank, chest heavy, feeling the weight of Serena’s words crush her into the ground. What does that even mean? It means something big, something  _ important,  _ but  _ what?  _ Why did Serena tell her that?

Ruri brings a hand to her cheek, sighing softly.

_ I … don’t know. _

* * *

“You said  _ that?”  _ Yuzu says, nearly tripping over her heels as she once more bends herself in half from laughing so hard. Yuzu has a deep, bellowing laugh, the hearty, no-holds-barred kind that makes Ruri smile and blush at the same time. Yuzu never holds back with anything, and so even through her laughter she keeps trying to speak.

“I mean—”

“You said that  _ out loud?  _ That’s—that’s fucking adorable, Ruri!” Yuzu reaches up to blindly pat her on the shoulder, only from being bent over Yuzu can only tap awkwardly at Ruri’s upper arm. 

“It’s not  _ that  _ embarrassing … is it?” Ruri hunches her shoulders, glancing nervously around. They’re walking home from school now, down the same sun-dappled path that they walked along this morning. In the mid-afternoon this path is warm from the sunshine and busy with both students and pedestrians heading around town. Yuzu’s laughter keeps drawing the world’s attention back to the trio, only compounding Ruri’s embarrassment.

“It kinda is though,” Mieru says, hiding her smirk behind a delicate hand. “Cute, but also …” She leaves the sentence hanging, glancing up at Ruri.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ruri mutters, staring down at her entwined hands. “I just wanted to say something to her, and it’s true …”

Yuzu rights herself back up with a  _ snap!,  _ and turns to clasp both of Ruri’s hands. “You know what this means, right? You and that girl, you’re destined! You’re star-crossed lovers!”

“W-what!” Ruri feels her jaw drop on its own accord, and she throws her gaze back up, squeezing Yuzu’s hands, feeling all her senses jumble together as if they’re in a pinball machine. “What d-does that mean?!”

Mieru shrugs, swinging her legs out in large, graceful steps. “You did say today was a special day, right?”

“You’re into this too?”

Yuzu cuts her off with a loud guffaw. “Hey, hey—listen here, Ruri. You’re in love with probably the best student in our class, maybe even in the entire school. You saw her today? She’s a genius. She’s an athlete. She’s a prodigy. Maybe she’s practiced for years and years, or maybe she’s just that gifted. And best of all is that you  _ know  _ this girl! Your destined meeting was written in the stars and reflected in your dream!”

Dropping her handhold, Yuzu dashes forward and spins around on her heels and toes. Her short hair bounces around her eyes and ears, flittering like tendrils of grass on a beautiful, windy day. “That girl knew you too, didn’t she—she knew your name! It’s like a love story: star-crossed lovers, separated by an unknown force and reunited in this life … or something. Anyways!” Yuzu shoots up a hand, pointing it smack at Ruri’s chest. “Believe me, that girl’s important!”

“That girl’s probably rich too,” Mieru adds. “You’ve got yourself the perfect girlfriend—”

“Hey, wait!” Ruri steps back, shaking her head in the hopes that it rids her cheeks of their near-permanent blush. “Don’t you think you’re taking it too far, looking too much into it? 

“Love is just like that though,” Mieru says. “I mean, I haven’t been in love before”—she side-eyes Yuzu, who suddenly has rosy cheeks—“but I think I get that feeling, just a bit.” She clears her throat, clasping her hands together. “I’ll leave you two to talk it over though—I’ve got to run home now.”

“See ya!” Yuzu says.

Ruri raises her hand though it flutters like a sheet of paper in the wind. “See ya.” When her hand comes down though, Yuzu holds tight to it, lacing their fingers together. When Yuzu holds her hand, Ruri feels at peace. She breathes a sigh of relief, and just for a moment imagines that the world isn’t so messy and complicated. 

“Special day, ain’t it?” Yuzu says, pushing her nose into the top of Ruri’s soft hair. Ruri nestles into the hold, sighing a sigh that deflates her entire body.

“Yeah …” 

_ Yeah, it’s a pretty special, pretty precious day. _


	3. Three

“Your cheeks are still red, did you know that?”

Ruri raises a hand to her face, glancing down at her toes so as to not meet Yuzu’s curious stare. 

Yuzu smiles, blushing herself but managing to not look all splotchy and embarrassed. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” Yuzu says, patting her shoulder and bumping their hips together. “I told you, it’s really cute that you’re so madly in love—”

“Sure,” Ruri says. 

As if sensing Ruri’s hesitation though, at once Yuzu pulls back a bit. She keeps herself close to Ruri, brushing shoulders and legs and fingers, and leads her down the pathway into the wider city centre. Buildings begin to stretch up to the great, puffy clouds dotted the skyscape. On the ground, Ruri sees buildings sprout like concrete trees, decorated with dozens of advertisements for cars, makeup, candy—anything and everything she could possibly imagine. She always feels a little nervous being in such an imposing place, but Yuzu fits right in.

Tugging her forward, Yuzu takes her down sidestreet after sidestreet. Her chatter passes by Ruri’s ears that fail to pick up the conversation, but Yuzu seems to hold it fine on her own. When at last Ruri does catch some of Yuzu’s words, she hears, “—music?”

“H-huh?” Ruri says, pulling back a bit.

“Wanna listen to some music?” Yuzu says. “It’s your thing too, isn’t it? Plus I wanna see if they’ve got any new CDs.”

Ruri nods her head, coming close again so that Yuzu can lead her into a store with shelves upon shelves of CDs. Around the store are various listening stations, and Yuzu drops Ruri’s hand so she can put on a clunky pair of headphones and pick a song from the touch-screen tablet mounted into the wall. She bounces her head to the beat of the song, and when she opens her eyes she flicks her head towards the other available music stations, as if trying to say,  _ Go listen too. _

Still feeling a bit shaky and out of sorts from the day, Ruri shuffles along to the next available tablet and headphone. She pops the headphones over her ears and flicks through the songs, searching for something relatively peppy and upbeat to get her heart racing in a way that doesn’t put a blush on her cheeks.

Before she can pick a song though, something else snaps through the speakers.

_ Help me.  _

Ruri stiffens for a moment, jolted by the sound of the soft plea. But then she returns to flicking through songs. It must have been someone else in store, or maybe she just imagined it.

_ Ruri, help me! _

_ Now  _ Ruri is concerned—that’s her name! She snaps off the headphones, glancing around the store. Who’s calling her? Who knows her name? At the front of the store Yuzu is still listening to music and bobbing her head to the beat. Ruri doesn’t see anyone else familiar in the store, be it a classmate or neighbor. 

_ Ruri, save me! _

She drops the headphones down, stepping back with a shudder. Who’s calling her? Who needs help?

“Ruri?” she hears Yuzu say, but her mind snaps back to the voice, now a pleading mantra in her ears, calling her for to come and help.

“F-fine,” Ruri says. “I just … need some fresh air.” Before Yuzu can speak up, Ruri ducks her head and dashes out the door. She hears the little voice crying out to her over and over again like a broken mantra. It seems to come from every angle, and Ruri glances around with wide, panicked eyes for an abnormality. Where is the voice coming from? Who needs help? How can Ruri help if she doesn’t know where to go?

To her side Ruri hears a click-clack like heels or nails on the ground. Ruri swings her head around. There’s nothing there, but to the side of the building is a narrow pathway, not much wider than her body, that extends back along the shop. Ruri peers down the dark alleyway, but all she can see are the clinging, creeping shadows. She swallows. 

_ Closer! Here! _

The voice—it’s coming from down the path! Ruri dashes forward, tucking her arms close to her chest and sliding her body between the two towering walls. The further Ruri walks, the louder the voice becomes, until it screams bloody murder in her ears. Ruri tucks her head into her shoulder, willing the sound to go away.

_ I’m coming,  _ she says.  _ I’m coming to rescue you! _

At the end of the alleyway, Ruri turns to the side. There, behind the shop, is a storage area or perhaps a smoking spot for the employees. There are no workers out tonight; however … 

Ruri gasps. There, lying on the dirty ground, is a small, black dragon. It’s the same dragon as before, the one in her dream that so desperately wanted her to think about becoming … what was it? A puella … Ruri shakes her head. It doesn't matter.

Dashing forward, Ruri scoops up the small, black dragon and nestles it closed to her chest. There are deep, bloody scars along its little body and legs, coming from a knife perhaps—and a hole. There’s a hole in one of its legs. Ruri’s stomach clenches and she shuts her eyes. Then, with a deep swallow, she opens her eyes and carefully brings the dragon up to her. She shrugs out of her school blazer. It won’t be enough to stem the flow, but for a moment it might calm the poor creature—

_ “Get away from him!” _

Ruri snaps her head up.

Standing by the building is Serena. It’s the same Serena Ruri saw in her dream—a queen-like deity wearing a red dress and black undershorts. Her face is pinched in a sneer, lips pulled back in a snarl. She looks like a rabid animal if Ruri is to be honest. Ruri feels a shiver run down her spine. She tucks the dragon closer to her, using her arms to press its reptilian body to her chest.

Serena’s points her finger at the dragon, shaking so strongly that like their teacher she might erupt on the spot. “You and your fucking dirty tricks—”

“Serena!” Ruri says. She wriggles backwards, but her back hits the wall. She’s trapped. She’s trapped, alone, with this hurt dragon … and with Serena.

“Serena,” Ruri pleads, “did you do this? Do you—do you know anything about what happened?”

“Let that monster go—”

“No!” Ruri drops her heads, screeching the words out of her quivering lips. “Serena, what’s going on here?”

Serena takes a step closer to her. “Kurosaki Ruri, that is none of your business.” Another step. “Let that thing go.” Step. “I don’t want to hurt you, but …”

A cold feeling settles in Ruri’s heart. “But …”

Serena’s hands clench into tight fingers, knuckles white. Her face twists and rips, never settling on any given emotion. In the late afternoon light, it looks like shadows have begun to eat her face—everything but her glowing, green eyes. “If I must—”

A cloud of smoke bursts between her and Serena. Ruri sees nothing through the thick of it, and she hastily covers her mouth and nose before she can breathe too much of it in. She closes her eyes too, but they snap open when someone grabs her by the wrist and hauls her out of the thicket. Where is she going? Ruri sees the hand, sees the sleeve of a school uniform. Did Serena grab her?

“Ruri, we’re getting out of here!”

Ruri knows that voice: Yuzu. Yuzu has come for her like a knight on a horse, dragging her through the calamity and down the narrow path. Ruri’s shoulders bump and snag on the walls, but she doesn’t let herself fall behind. She clings tightly to the little dragon still braced against her chest, never letting her hold drop even when they make it out onto the main street. Yuzu keeps running though, tugging Ruri down sidestreet after sidestreet to get Serena off their track. Ruri tries not to spot the strange, wary looks she receives from passersby.

“Keep running, Ruri!”

Huffing, Ruri picks up her pace.

They weave in and out of the city, nearly doing laps around the main area at one point. All the buildings start to look the same, and the sky grows darker overheard. Ruri glances around warily. If she spoke up, Yuzu would probably be upset with her. Yuzu is taking her away from the danger, saving her, saving the dragon in Ruri’s arms. Yet the more Ruri looks around, the colder she begins to feel. 

From behind her a small, golden ball shoots out. Attached to it is a tail—no, a mustache—and it waves like a feather in the wind. Where did that come from? It bounces through the air, letting its tail arc and swirl in the air. Then it spins, revealing a nose and a mouth. Out of the mouth pours a dastardly, ear-splitting sound—a laugh that shakes Ruri’s brittle bones.

“W-what is  _ that?”  _ Yuzu says. She throws out a hand in front of Ruri, as if that will protect either of them from wherever they’d run to. The more Ruri glances around, the sicker she feels. She’s walked into a storybook world where the walls are made of patterned cloths that create dizzying optical illusions. Each cloth has a different pattern though, making the effect all the more mystifying—and the patterns move, stretching across an endlessly-tall sky and long, windy walls. The mustached creatures come in great flocks from above, swooping over Ruri’s head with their feathering hairs. Ruri ducks down, cradling the little dragon tightly to her chest.

“R-ruri,” Yuzu says, voice soft. “Where are we?”

Ruri takes a step back. Her foot catches on something—maybe even the choking air itself—and she falls back on her bottom, onto ground that dazzles like rubies and sapphires, and is inlaid with swirling textures. She rolls herself into a ball, protecting the little dragon. Yuzu shakes her shoulders, but Ruri keeps her eyes closed. If she doesn’t look, this world might dissolve and return her to where she is supposed to be—in Maiami City, looking at CDs with Yuzu.

“Ruri!” Yuzu screams, pulling her forward. “Come on, get up, we have to  _ go!” _

Ruri clings tightly to the ground. This must be a dream. No place in all of the dimensions could look like this. It’s impossible for such a place to exist anywhere, and if she thinks about it, she’ll return home. This—this is fake, a dream, an illusion. This can’t be possible. If Ruri thinks hard enough, she’ll leave this place—

“Ruri!”

“Hey, you girls!” 

Ruri snaps her eyes open. That voice is unfamiliar, not Yuzu’s or Mieru’s or even Serena’s. It’s the kind of voice a big sister or mother might have, one of calmness and compassion. Ruri swings her head around, searching for the voice, but just as she turns someone jumps  _ over  _ her and Yuzu, legs tucked under her body as if she’s hurdling. Her pink and red skirts rustle over their heads, gathering in the breeze. The woman lands in a curtsy, legs splaying down on either side of her. 

Ruri feels the breath whoosh out of her. That woman …

The woman jumps back up to her feet. She throws her arm out, jangling a silver bracelet along her wrist. Her ponytailed hair whips in the sudden breeze, and suddenly all the moustached monsters around them burst into sparkles and disappear. The woman spins on her heels. Now Ruri can see her face. She’s older than them with blue eyes and a soft, heart-shaped face. She looks like a warrior too, and while Ruri sits gaping at the older woman she pulls out from  _ somewhere  _ a futuristic-looking pistol. Aiming it towards the heavens, she fires off two loud shots that force Ruri to cover her ears.

_ Who … is this girl? _

“Hang tight,” the woman says. “I’m here with you.”

Ruri is too surprised to speak up, but Yuzu says, “Who are you though?”

Before the woman has a chance to reply though more creatures drop from the sky. The woman bends down in a crouch, aiming her pistol—no,  _ pistols,  _ where’d she get the other one?—to the sky. Like a machine gun, her pistol shoots out small, pink bullets that zap the creatures and explode them into confetti. Ruri has never seen anything like it before—never seen this girl or this place or anything here.

It’s over in a flash though. One minute Ruri is gazing up at the monsters pouring from the sky, and the next minute she’s back in the dim, dank alleyway, sitting on the pavement with the little dragon nestled to her chest. Both Yuzu and the woman are with her too, the former looking a tad shaken-up and the latter dusting off her outfit with delicate hands.

Yuzu shakes her head once, spotting Ruri. Then she looks the other way, to the strange woman, and she says, “Hey! Who’re—”

The woman brushes past Yuzu. She crouches down by Ruri and carefully reaches for the dragon, Ruri’s arms instinctively tighten, but gently the woman moves her fingers away and takes the dragon in her own arms. “It’s OK. I’m going to help him.”

“Help?” Ruri’s voice cracks on the only syllable?

The woman nods. She snuggles the dragon closer, tucking her head down so that her small, round nose brushes the top of its scaly head. A sparkle of magic appears between them. When Ruri looks again, the dragon has lifted its head and opened its dichromatic eyes. It blinks once, twice, looking dazedly around the quiet alleyway. Ruri glances around too—has anyone seen them? Did anyone else go to that dark place?

“You awake?” the woman says.

The little dragon nods. “Thanks, Ray!” It says says, blinking long and slow up at the woman. “You saved me.”

Ruri’s eyes widen—it speaks, just like in her dream! She knows that bubbly, spirited voice. She’s heard it before!

Ray smiles at the dragon and tilts her head towards Ruri and Yuzu, both sitting on the cement. “Not me, actually—these girls here rescued you.” Playfully, she bumps noses with the dragon. “I wouldn’t have made it to you in time.”

The dragon makes a little ‘oh’ sound. Its red and green eyes shifts towards Ruri, and then to Yuzu. It looks like the dragon is … smiling. The way its mouth curls up, revealing little, rounded teeth, settles the frantic beating of Ruri’s heart. 

Then its grin widens. Bowing its head, it says, “Then thank you, Ruri and Yuzu!”

“Y-you—” Ruri begins.

“How do you know our names?” Yuzu finishes. 

It’s Ray who answers though, bouncing the dragon up and down in her arms. “This lil guy is my friend. Thank you for saving him—I’m eternally grateful.” She gives another curtsy, sweeping her long legs like a ballerina. Ruri feels a traitorous thrumming in her heart, and a glance to her side reveals that Yuzu has an equally pink blush on her cheeks. Ray has taken their breaths away. She really is a warrior.

“You saved us too though,” Ruri pipes up. “It’s thanks to you that we’re here …”

“And not there!” Yuzu leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “That guy there, he said your name is—”

“Ray. Akaba Ray.”

It sounds like the name of a deity. Despite being in the dimmest part of the city, somewhere a halo of light finds Ray and lights up the dark reds and pinks of her hair, shimmering the thick strands that curl behind her in twintails. The light grows brighter for a second, forcing Ruri to looks away. When she looks up, Ray has changed: no longer in her elaborate dress, but instead in the same uniform as Ruri and Yuzu. She has a different coloured ribbon around her neck, denoting that she’s a year older than them—

“H-how you’d do that?” Yuzu says, glancing around the alleyway. “How’d you change clothes?”

Ray presses a finger to her lips, chuckling. “It’s a secret.” She twists her hips, rustling out her skirts. “And that lil guy there, that’s Zarc.”

The dragon tilts its head to the side, and to Ruri’s eyes the dragon appears to be smiling.

Ray presses her nose to the top of the dragon’s head. “Zarc,” she says, voice soft and gentle like a mother talking to her child, “those girls there, are they …?”

Ruri yearns to hear the rest of the sentence, but Ray lets it drop. Zarc still seems to understand her, and he gives a head nod. He hops out of Ray’s arms though, flittering down to the ground on small, black winged webbed with green, glowing veins. Zarc settles down before Ruri and Yuzu, tucking its small tail under its body.

“Ruri. Yuzu.”

The voice … Ruri has heard that voice before, and not just the voice but the tone and the expression. She feels like she’s experiencing deja vu even though never before has Ruri ever been behind the music shop nor has she ever met Ray or Zarc before. Yet the feeling persists, ringing in her ears—

Zarc’s voice cuts through: “To be honest, I have a favour to ask you girls.”

Yuzu cocks her head to the side. “A favour?”

Zarc nods. It puffs out its little chest, stretching out its long, slim neck. “That’s right! You see …” He leaves the words hanging just long enough for Ruri and Yuzu to lean forward, eager to hear the rest of the sentence. Then, like snapping an elastic, Zarc finishes: “I want you to make contracts with me and become puella magi!”


	4. Four

****

_ “That’s right! My name is Akaba Ray, and I’m a senior at your junior high school. I’m also a puella magi, and I made a contract with Zarc.” _

When Ruri first hears those words, she thinks she’s scrambled all the words in her brain and didn’t pay attention to a speck of what Ray said. However, when she asks Ray to repeat herself she gets the same response tacked on with a, “Hey, would you like to hang out? Maybe we can talk a bit more about this.”

“Hang out?” Ruri says. She glances from Yuzu to Ray. Ray is their upperclassmen meaning she must have better things to do and more friends than a couple of younger girls. Ray looks like the queenly type, at least.

“Yeah,” Ray says though. “I’ll show you my place—follow me.”

She spins on her heels and leads them out of the alleyway, back on to the streets lit by bright lamp posts. Yuzu walks ahead, head held high. Ruri trails after her, a bit unsure of why she should be following Ray. It’s not like she doesn’t trust a girl from her school, but in all honesty why would Ray want to spend time with them? Ruri appreciates it, she truly does, but this situation has thrown her for even more of a loop.

Sitting on Ray’s shoulder is Zarc. Ruri narrows her eyes at the little dragon. No one else but the three girls seems to spot the fact that Ray has a  _ dragon  _ on her shoulder, but then again that’s not the strangest thing that has happened tonight.

Ruri doesn’t say anything though. She sticks close to Yuzu, who sticks close to Ray, and the three girls head through the city centre and towards a great, looming apartment complex. The walls are all made of one-sided glass, so to Ruri it looks like she’s staring at a mirror. She catches her reflection—her wide eyes and ruffled hair. After the incident in that weird dimension, Ruri feels a bit on edge about everything.

“Hey,” Ray says, “come on. My house is at the top.”

Through the doors of the building is a lobby the size of a house, decorated with red and gold accents as if it’s some kind of palace. It looks like a fancy hotel too. Whatever this place is, Ruri can tell that only the richest, ritziest families live here. The lobby is filled with fashionable people too. With her messy hair and rumpled school uniform, Ruri feels highly underdressed.

Ray takes them to the elevator and presses a button at the top of the pad. The elevator shoots up towards the heavens. Ruri can see through the glass now, and she spots the sprawling city of Maiami. She can’t distinguish particular places, but certain areas look like where her school would be, and she sees the bridge she travels across to get to school.

“I can’t believe how high up we are,” Yuzu comments. She looks over her shoulder. “Ray, this is your  _ house?” _

Ray nods tightly.

_ Bing!  _ The elevator doors swing open. This hallway is shorter, with only two doors on separate sides of the walls. Ray leads the girls to the door on the right, and opens it with a key she takes out from her purse.

Ray’s house is a palace. There’s a large living room, and a fully-stocked kitchen attached to that. A hallway stems off from the right side, probably leading to the bathroom and bedrooms. But Ruri can’t even take in everything in one room—the large TV, the kotatsu, the bar stools around the high counters. Everything is dashingly decorated and accentuated with warm colours, reds and pinks. It smells like vanilla too, and freshly baked cookies.

“Well, come on, in you go,” Ray says, giving both girls a slight push on their shoulders.

Ruri and Yuzu both stumble in. Somehow Ruri’s feet find her way under the kotatsu, and she tucks herself in next to Yuzu while Ray heads off towards the kitchen. Her footsteps are audible in the quiet apartment.

“Hey Ray,” Yuzu says, “is anyone else … here?”

Ray shakes her head. “You mean my parents? No, they don’t live with me.”

“You mean you have this place all to yourself? What a deal!”

Ray’s nods seem a bit tight, but then she starts laughing. “That’s why the house is a bit messy today, so please excuse that. I wasn’t expecting guests after school. How about I make us some tea?” 

Ruri doesn’t see a speck of dust in sight. Ray’s house is spotless. Everything looks like it has a special, perfect spot, and nothing seems out of order. Sure, there’s a dragon sitting on the table and Ray has magical powers, but that’s apparently normal. As long as Ruri is a guest at Ray’s house, she’ll believe anything Ray says. Besides, what Ruri saw in that strange illusion-like dimension wasn’t normal, and so it would be best to trust Ray who seemed to know more about those sorts of things.

After a minute or so Ray returns from the kitchen with three china cups and a small, white teapot decorated with lilies. She sets the tea cups before Ruri and Yuzu and pours the hot, black tea into them. Then she serves herself and tucks her legs under the kotatsu.

And laughs.

“You both look so tense—what’s going on?”

Yuzu rolls her eyes. “Well, after what we saw in that strange place, and what you and Zarc have told us—don’t you think it’s a lot to process?” She takes a small sip of her tea. “I don’t know about you, Ruri, but I’m feeling a little scatterbrained.”

Ruri nods. “I’m feeling the same way too.”

“Makes sense,” Ray says to them. “I’ll do my best to explain everything to you, so hang on for a second.” She sips her tea, and quietly clears her throat. “You might have noticed that not everyone can see Zarc. If Zarc appears to you, that means he’s chosen you—and that means that there’s a problem he needs you to help solve.”

Ray reaches under the sleeve of her uniform, tugging out a small, silver braid inlaid with a red gem. She shows it to both Ruri and Yuzu, who gasp at the the detailed curves of the bracelet. The gem is embedded into the metal too; and, if Ruri looks closely, she spots a slight  _ movement  _ within the bracelet, as if the light keeps catching on the gem and making an optical illusion.

“This is a soul gem,” Ray says. “It’s the source of a puella magi’s power. I wasn’t given this though, or bought it at a store—I was given it by Zarc when I made a contract with him. This soul gem is also a living reminder of my contract.”

Zarc skips across the table and touches his nose to the red gem. “That’s right,” he says. “Those who make a contract with me get a soul gem, and then that contract decrees that they must fight dragons.”

“Dragons?” Yuzu says. “You mean … like you?”

“No, no—bigger, uglier, full of hate and pain.”

Ray nods along. “Dragons might not be the best word because they don’t really  _ look  _ like dragons, but there’s something about them that makes them dragons. You’ll have to see one to understand though.”

Ruri opens her mouth to ask just how she’ll see a dragon, but Zarc continues on with a flick on his tail.

“It’s a pretty big mission to fight dragons, and so in return for your sacrifice you get to make a wish—any wish in the whole wide world.”

Yuzu heads perks up.  _ “Any  _ wish?”

Zarc’s smile spreads across his slim, angular face.  _ “Any  _ wish.”

“Like if I wished to be the best musician in the world, you could do that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How about the smartest girl in school?”

“Uh-huh.”

Ray laughs along. “Any wish, Yuzu. Zarc’s powers are limitless.”

Both Ruri and Yuzu settle back with a huff. The price to pay to be a puella magi is the mission to kill dragons, but the reward is any single wish. The more Ruri thinks about it, the fairer it sounds. Ray must have made a wish too, and she looks pretty happy. Ruri wants to think there’s a catch to something, a secret list of terms and conditions, but being too cautious would appear distrustful before her host.

“Can you tell me about the dragons?” Ruri asks. “Like how do you fight them?”

“Well, think of puella magis like Ray as girls who spread hope, happiness, and smiles. Likewise, dragons are creatures that scatter despair across the dimensions. This despair though …” Zarc curls up tightly. “It ends in death.”

“Death?” Yuzu whispers.

“Dragons’ curses are the leading cause of death across the dimension. Sure the statistics can’t explain why people kill others or commit suicide, but that’s because few people know about the work of dragons. It’s not their fault though—dragons are sneaky. They hide themselves in barriers, cuts in the dimensions where reality looks a little different,  _ feels  _ a little different.”

Ray nods in agreement. “That’s where I found you, actually—in a barrier of a dragon. If I hadn’t come and gotten you, I’m not sure if you would have made it out alive.”

Ruri and Yuzu swallow hard.

“And so you fight those dragons …?” Ruri asks.

“With my life.” Ray places a hand to her bracelet, thumbing the gem and metal. “Being a puella magi is a sacrifice to bring peace to the dimensions. It is a massive undertaking and the answer is not easy. You need to think carefully about whether you can truly take on Zarc’s contract.”

Ruri hesitates to respond. Devoting her life sounds like such a large undertaking for a junior high school girl. Could she do it? Does she have the strength? Next to her, Yuzu seems fired-up like her father always tells her she is. She’s surprised Yuzu doesn’t just make a contract then and there—though Ruri isn’t certain Yuzu has thought hard about it, Yuzu is also the go-getter type of girl to trust her instincts and not let anxiety cloud her judgment.

Ruri has a different question though. “Ray, are there other puella magi besides you?”

Yuzu interrupts. “What about Serena?”

“That purple-haired girl?” Ray taps her lip with a delicate finger. “Yeah, she’s a puella magi. She’s pretty strong, though since she’s new to this city I’m not too familiar with her.”

“She’s in my class,” Ruri says quietly. Her mind flickers to the image of Serena, face ripped in rage. Ruri glances towards Zarc. Serena had hurt Zarc. The injuries have gone away now thanks to Ray’s healing, but Ruri’s heart still aches thinking about the cuts she saw all across the dragon’s body. 

“She attacked Ruri though,” Yuzu says. “Aren’t puella magi supposed to just fight dragons though and protect the dimensions? How come she went after us?”

Zarc pipes up with a flap of his wings. “She wasn’t attacking Ruri—she went after me. I suspect she was avoiding the birth of a new puella magi.”

Yuzu leans her head to the side. “… huh?”

“Some puella magi are a bit … greedy, let’s say. Competitive too. I imagine Serena is like that, wanting to stop the increase in puella magi so that she can take more of the kills for herself. There are rewards for defeating dragons too, which means that from time to time puella magi might fight  _ each other.  _ I bet Serena didn’t want another competitor and was seeking to shoo away Zarc before he made the contract.”

Though Ray says it so simply, Ruri feels a chill run down her spine. Zarc wasn’t making a contract with her though. Serena had attacked Zarc before Ruri had arrived. It was like Serena was after Zarc for something else, but Ruri doesn't dare open her mouth and argue. 

Ray seems to sense their hesitation. She leans over the table, cupping a cheek in her soft hand. “Hey, you girls have gone quiet on me. What’s on your minds?”

Neither Yuzu nor Ruri say anything.

“Did I make you worry?”

Ruri nods.

Yuzu shakes her head.

Ray tucks her lips into her hand, muffling a gentle laugh. “I guess it is a lot of new information, and though I can’t remember it I bet I was feeling a bit nervous when I learnt about puella magi too. Say …” She brings her hands together, smiling brightly at both of them. “What would you say to coming to a dragon hunt?”

Ruri blinks. “Sorry?”

“A dragon hunt—you know, where puella magi go off and fight dragons. Maybe it’ll help you understand the work that I do if I give you a little tour tomorrow. How does that sound?”

When neither of them respond—though Ruri suspects their smiles and nervous giggles speak for themselves—Ray folds her hands neatly in front of her chest. “I think it would be great if you see exactly what being a puella magi is all about.”

* * *

Ruri blinks her eyes, rubbing them with a small fist. What happened … Oh right. Yes. She made plans with that girl yesterday —the girl with the red and pink hair in twintails, who called herself a puella magi and who was with … Zarc. Zarc, the little dragon that perhaps Ruri has seen before. She can’t recall, but when she mumbles the name on her lips it feels oddly familiar. Perhaps she’s read the name is a storybook before, or maybe Shun has a friend named Zarc and she’s overheard him talking.

“Ruri.”

She rubs her eyes again. The more she thinks about it, the harder is becomes to recall the name of that dragon. She can hear it though, its little, chipper voice bouncing around the four walls of her room.

“Ruri.”

Her eyes glance down. There sitting on her legs is the dragon, so real and familiar.

Ruri screams.

“Hey, what’s that for!” Zarc says. “You don’t need to scream—it’s just me.”

Well, it is, but that doesn’t ease any of Ruri’s concerns. She thought she dreamt this little dragon, that yesterday with Yuzu and Ray had all been in her mind. Now that she’s seeing Zarc, and that no matter how much she rubs her eyes he doesn't disappear, Ruri has to concede that there is, in fact, a little black dragon in her room. She’s not hallucinating. She’s not dreaming. What she sees is there.

Carefully, Ruri reaches out and touches her fingers to Zarc’s nose. Zarc scrunches up his nose in response, but he doesn't pull away. Under the fingers Ruri feels his slick scales, like a fish. She imagines these scales are as strong as diamonds though, and they seem to suck up the streams of sunlight creeping through her window.

“You’re … really there,” Ruri murmurs. She presses her fingers up along Zarc’s skull, feeling the little indents of his eyebrows, his ears, the curves of his bones even through his scales. She’s never felt something like this before—then again, she’s also never seen a real-life dragon before. “You really are here.”

Zarc beams at her words.

Ruri takes her hand back soon after though, realising that she needs to up and ready for school. For once she’s actually awake before her alarm and before Shun comes barging in to properly wake her up. Ruri stretches her arms above her head and fluffs out her hair, letting it rain and cascade down her back. She took out Shun’s elaborate down-do last night, yet her hair has still kept some of its curls.

Then she rises. She pads across her room and peeks through her doorway. She hears the water running in the kitchen, and just as she steps into the hallway Shun appears around the corner, wiping his hands clean with a dish towel.

“Morning,” he says, and then chuckles. “I didn’t even have to come and wake you today.”

Ruri purses her lips. “Sometimes I’m awake.”

“That’s right—sometimes.” He tosses the towel onto the counter and then makes his way back towards the kitchen. “Come have breakfast, sleepyhead.”

Huffing, Ruri follows him down the hallway and into the dining room. Shun has laid out today’s breakfast in a variety of small, ornate dishes: pickled daikon, eggs, rice, and miso soup. Ruri eagerly takes her seat across from Shun, but waits for him to pick up his chopsticks before she begins eating. At first, neither of them speak, too engrossed in chewing and swallowing to notice the other person sitting across from them. But then Ruri senses Shun’s eyes on her like a hawk.

Over the top of her miso soup bowl, Ruri stares back at him. “Hm?”

“I know I’m not your mother or anything but …” He clears his throat. “You came home really late last night.”

Ruri stills her eating. Swallows. It’s not because she’s upset with Shun’s mother-bird habits or anything, but now Ruri has another piece of the puzzle: she was out late last night, and Shun knew she was out and came home. Ruri racks her brain for what happened last night, after school, after Ray and Zarc and—

Ruri nearly drops her chopsticks in shock. There, sitting on the table, is Zarc. He weaves between the plates, right past Shun, and Shun doesn’t bat an eye.

Ruri clears her throat. “Right …” She chews her lip. “Oh, I was at a senior’s house. I made a new friend.”

Shun hms and hahs. “That’s nice, just … let me know when you’re going to be home late. I’m not keeping tabs on you, and it’s not like you have a curfew, but it would be nice to know when you’re staying out.”

Zarc sits in front of Shun’s plates. The dragon blinks his large, green eyes, buzzing his wings on his back. Ruri swallows audibly, waiting for the moment that Shun catches the elephant in the room. However, it becomes apparent that Zarc is invisible to Shun as her brother keeps on eating.

“Yeah, I’ll message you if I’m coming home late,” Ruri says, and she tucks back into her meal.

After breakfast, she and Shun head to the bathroom and brush their teeth together. Shun fixes up Ruri’s hair again, twisting and pulling it into another down-do fastened with the yellow ribbon. Again, Ruri tries to stick her fingers in her hair, but Shun bats her hands away and doesn’t let her see the hairdo until it’s complete. As Shun leans closer to hand her a mirror to see that back of her head, Ruri reaches up and playfully pulls at the swoop of turquoise bangs.

“I bet I could braid this part here,” she jokes.

Shun huffs, struggling to hide his smile, and begins to walk away.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ruri sees Zarc sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter, his tail lying in the sink. Zarc hasn’t said much since the morning, so Ruri wonders if perhaps Shun might be able to  _ hear  _ Zarc. 

“Hey, Shun.”

Shun turns. “Hm?”

Ruri twists her hands together. “If … and just if … you could use magic to grant any wish in the entire world, what would you wish for?”

Shun chuckles. “What a deep question for this early in the morning.”

Ruri laughs with him. “I know. I’m just thinking …” She eyes Zarc. Somewhere, a long time ago, Zarc asked that question, didn’t he? And then Ray said …

“I’m not quite sure.” Shun crosses his arms over his chest, eyebrows bent low over his narrow eyes. “Besides, there’s no such thing as magic.”

“Spoilsport,” Ruri says, but she laughs again to ease the tension in the room. “I’m kidding.”

But really, she isn’t. The question lingers in Ruri’s head as she dresses and packs for school. On the way out the door she thinks about what Shun said about magic—how it’s not real—and what Ray said last night. She can remember that conversation now, though it’s hazy in section because she’s still waking up. Who is she to believe? Ray is younger than Shun, but then again Ray knew so much about magic and puella magi. She couldn’t have been making that all up—she just couldn’t have.


	5. Five

“A-are you sure no one can see you?” Ruri asks, eyeing the little black dragon on her shoulder. Zarc refused to stay home, demanding that he come to school and hang out with her. Even when Ruri considered locking him in her bathroom, Zarc’s nail sunk into her uniform as a reminder he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

_ I’m sure,  _ Zarc says.  _ Besides, that man in the house— _

“My brother.”

_ —he couldn’t see me either, so you have nothing to worry about. _

Ruri’s worries aren’t quelled though. She swallows thickly and glances ahead. She’s nearly to the schoolyard too, and in just a few more minutes she’ll meet up with Yuzu and Mieru to walk the rest of the way to class. Yuzu has already seen Zarc before anyway, but Mieru doesn’t know anything about what has happened these past couple days and Ruri hopes to keep it that way. The fewer people she involves in this strange situation, the better.

“What about … Serena?” Last time Serena and Zarc were around each other, she critically injured the little black dragon. Ruri doesn’t want anything like that to happen again.

Zarc shrugs his shoulders though, appearing unfazed.  _ She won’t attack me at a public schoolyard—that’ll create suspicion, and it’s not like her powers are invisible. So long as I stick close to you and—hey! _

Ruri startles, snapping her eyes first to Zarc and then ahead of her. There, standing at the fork in the road waiting, are Yuzu and Mieru. They’re both dressed for school, backpacks on their shoulders. Yuzu is prancing around telling a story, but when she spots Ruri she throws up a hand.

“Hey, Ru—” She chokes on the last syllable. Her blue eyes fall on Ruri’s shoulder, right where Zarc rests. Ruri feels her blood run cold. What does she say? What does she tell Yuzu?  _ How  _ can she even tell Yuzu when Mieru is standing right there and smiling, beckoning Ruri over so that they can all walk together? It’s mean to leave Mieru out of this, and there’s no way either Ruri or Yuzu could use code-talk to share messages without Mieru understanding.

_ Ruri, what is that! _

That voice—Ruri knows that voice! It’s without a doubt Yuzu, but it sounds closer, as if her friend is whispering into her ear. Ruri glances around, but Yuzu is still standing there with her mouth hanging open. 

_ That’s …  _ Ruri begins, but she too stumbles over her words. She’s … speaking, only it sounds strange and unfamiliar, and her lips aren’t moving to make the sounds. Mieru hasn’t caught on to them either, so Ruri breathes out a sigh and makes her way over to the crowd. She makes eye contact with Yuzu once more, and says again,  _ Zarc wanted to come today. _

_ But— _

_ No one can see him,  _ Ruri says.  _ Or at least only certain people can. It doesn't seem like Mieru has spotted him … _

Yuzu hums under her breath. She tries to keep her expression even, but her eyes keep following back to Zarc on Ruri’s shoulder. Yuzu stares long and hard at the dragon, teeth worrying at her lip.  _ I guess so,  _ she finally says.  _ And I guess we can communicate telepathically too. I don’t remember signing anything, but maybe we’ve already gotten new powers. _

Zarc hops forward, stretching his neck out so he has a better look at Yuzu.  _ Those are  _ my  _ powers. _

_ Oh,  _ Yuzu says, sighing airily. 

On Ruri’s other side, Mieru sighs too. “What’s with all this awkward silence this morning? Are both of you still asleep?”

“Yeah,” Ruri says, forcing herself to laugh. Though she knew Mieru was right next to her, it’s hard to focus on both a verbal and telepathic conversation. Mieru must already feel left out, or maybe she’s just perceptive. Of the three of them, Mieru is the first to know when something is up. Her keen senses don’t let anything slip under the radar. Unfortunately, this also means that Ruri needs to especially careful not to let anything slip.

Mieru playfully bumps shoulders with her. “There you go again, so lost in thought today, Miss Ruri!” She slips her fingers into the loops of the yellow bows in Ruri’s hair. As she moves closer to inspect Ruri’s down-do, her eyes travel past to Yuzu whose gaze is still focused on Ruri’s shoulder and where Zarc sits. 

“I think I know what’s going on,” Mieru says, and a slow, sly grin spreads over her face,

Ruri feels her blood pressure rise. “Oh no, Mieru—”

“Do you and Yuzu have a relationship now where you communicate telepathically? You two can just stare into each other’s eyes like long-lost lovers and predict what the other partner is thinking.” She claps her hands to her rosy cheeks, letting out a soft, girly squeal. “My oh my, did this come on so suddenly?”

Ruri throws up a hand—Mieru’s onto half the truth! “I think you’ve got the wrong idea,” Ruri says, but her words fall short when Mieru lets out another squeal of delight.

“I predicted this would happen! The stars were aligned for you to grow closer, develop your relationship—”

“You’ve totally got the wrong idea,” Yuzu says, shaking Mieru’s shoulder. “Listen—”

“Is this forbidden love?” Mieru says. She snatches up Ruri’s and Yuzu’s hands, holding them in one of her own little hands. “Fate has brought you together at last!” 

Ruri swallows audibly. No, no—there’s no way Mieru can know about puella magi or dragons. She’s not guessing about that anyway, but she’s on to something that might lead her to go snooping. The last thing Ruri needs is to be watching her back at all times. She’s already on edge with Zarc on her shoulder and the upcoming dragon hunt with Ray—and now her best friend thinks something secretive is going on.

“Really, Mieru, it’s nothing—”

Mieru laughs. “You’re right.”

“Huh?” Ruri and Yuzu say together.

“You’re right,” Mieru repeats. “You can keep it a secret from me and I won’t tell anyone.” She presses a finger to her lips, and twists her hand as if she’s locking a door. “Your little secret is safe with me.”

“You’re not listening,” Yuzu groans. She drops her head against Mieru’s shoulder, but this time when Yuzu laughs it sounds a bit more genuine. She must be trying to play up Mieru’s theories to get her away from spying on them or prying too hard. Ruri follows along too, dropping her head against Mieru’s other shoulder and moaning childishly.

In turn, Mieru laughs with them. “You’re so silly sometimes. Now …” She bumps her shoulders up, knocking Ruri and Yuzu’s heads upright. “Let’s head to class before we’re all late and we get in trouble.”

Mieru walks on ahead of them, a visible skip in her step all the way down the garden pathway. Ruri and Yuzu lag behind, neither of them communicating for a moment. They both watch Mieru’s bouncing back, waiting for her to spin around and catch them communicating telepathically again. For a second there Mieru was onto them, and Ruri has never felt her blood run so cold before. What would happen if Mieru found out? Would she be allowed to share the secret and become a puella magi? How come Zarc didn’t seem interested in her?

When they get to school, Ruri still expects someone to spot Zarc. However, she slips her indoors shoes on and travels to class without anyone interrupting her. In the classroom, Ruri takes her seat and glances around. Everyone seems to be engrossed in their own activities, and no one has even taken notice of her arrival.

_ So,  _ Yuzu says to her,  _ no one can see the dragon, can they? _

_ No one but us, I guess,  _ Ruri says.  _ However …  _ She chews her lip. Perhaps it’s not just the two of them, but anyone who is a candidate for becoming a puella magi. If so, that means Ray would be able to see Zarc if Ruri passed her in the hallway. And, if Serena came to class, she’d see Zarc too.

_ You thinking what I’m thinking?  _ Yuzu says.

_ Serena?  _ Ruri says.  _ Zarc says that she shouldn’t attack him.  _ When Ruri says it though, her voice tapers off at the end. Even she isn’t convinced by that explanation. It seems too risky to bring Zarc to school, or to even be talking telepathically. What must she look like right now, staring blankly at the chalkboard? And Yuzu too? Surely someone will notice her.

_ Hey, girls—remember, I’m here too. _

Ruri nearly bites her tongue in surprise.  _ R-ray?  _ she squeaks.  _ You’re in—you’re in another wing of the school. _

_ And I can hear you loud and clear,  _ Ray says.  _ Don’t worry, I’ll know if you girls get caught in trouble. Serena shouldn’t bother you because she wouldn’t put herself in danger and expose herself like that. Nonetheless, I’m here if anything happens. You two will be fine today. _

_ If you say so,  _ Yuzu says. Then something buzzes through the connection, a feeling that sends a shiver down Ruri’s spine.  _ Ruri, speak of the devil! Look who’s in class! _

Ruri snaps her eyes open. Yuzu must have been multi-tasking and watching the classroom door, but Ruri had her eyes unfocused until now. She can see though, and sure enough Serena is strutting across the classroom to her seat. Her violet hair bounces in its tight ponytail. Despite wearing the same school uniform as everyone else in the school, she looks to be as old as Ray and just as confident. 

_ Hey,  _ Yuzu says through their mindlink,  _ don’t worry about that girl.  _

Ruri’s hands find Zarc and she brings the black dragon closer to her chest. Serena’s eyes travel past her, staying just long enough for Ruri to feel goosebumps form on her skin. She clenches Zarc tighter. Serena won’t attack them. She won’t attack Zarc. So long as they’re at school, she, Yuzu, Ray, and Zarc should be all right.

All through class though Ruri feels like a thousand pairs of eyes are on her back. Wherever she looks she feels like someone is watching her every move. When the teacher calls her name to answer a question, she nearly leaps out of her seat and crashes her knees onto her desk. She’s sure Yuzu can tell she's anxious, and most likely both Zarc and Ray can feel it through the telepathic connection, but Ruri can’t simply calm down. No matter how much she tells herself nothing wrong can happen today, she feels a seed of worry deep in the pit of her stomach. 

It feels like something bad will happen today.

She doesn’t tell Yuzu though, at least not until lunch time when she can skip out of the classroom. Blessedly Mieru has some work to do in the library, so Ruri and Yuzu head on up to the school roof to get some fresh air and eat their lunches. The blue sky and puffy clouds greet them, and there’s just enough of a cool breeze to ease the rapid beating of Ruri’s heart and the permanent flush on her cheeks. She and Yuzu take their seats up against the fence, tucking their legs to the side. 

“Ruri.”

She startles.

Yuzu drops a hand on her shoulder, pushing as if she’s keeping Ruri’s soul attached to her body. “Geez, you are jumpy today,” Yuzu says. “Relax.”

“Sorry,” Ruri says at once.

“And stop that too—there’s nothing to be sorry about.” Yuzu gives Ruri’s shoulder another squeeze before she lets go and strokes Zarc’s little, round head. She cups the dragon’s face in her palm, gazing into its swirling, emerald eyes. “I’m not going to ask you about Serena, or much about what’s going on. But I am curious …” She leans back, pressing her head to the fence. “Have you thought about your wish?”

“My wish?” Ruri says.

“Yeah, to become a puella magi.”

Ruri swallows. In truth, she hasn’t given it much thought at all. Her mind has been pulled in so many directions that she hasn’t been able to think clearly about anything, much less a wish that she desires with her entire being. Apparently though her silence gives Yuzu just the answer she needs, for she settles forward again and rests her elbows on her knees.

“Me neither,” Yuzu says. “But then again, what wish would I want that would put my life on the line? I’m in junior high for god’s sake—I’ve still got a long life ahead of me.”

“Yeah,” Ruri says. Her voice hasn’t been confident all day, and she sighs as if that’ll release her heart from the tight knot its wound itself into. Her fingers find the smooth scales of Zarc’s head and neck, and she strokes the dragon. 

Yuzu looks at her out of the corner of her eye, and then chuckles. “Guess we’re just stupid then.”

“Huh?”

“And blissfully ignorant. Maybe other girls in our class, maybe even Mieru—they’ve all got dreams and wishes. I bet they’d want their wishes fulfilled, and yet here we are throwing away an opportunity like  _ that.”  _ Yuzu laughs—a single laugh, and a dry, painful sound. “Why … us?”

The words strike a note in Ruri’s heart. Why them though? Yuzu’s words make sense: there are thousands of girls—no,  _ millions— _ that have dreams. There are millions of girls who would stand up and fight for their dreams. And yet here Ruri and Yuzu are, two girls throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime because of a little hesitation? Is this how Zarc picks puella magi—girls who hesitate? Neither Ray nor Serena seem like the kind of girls to hesitate.

“It’s unfair then,” Yuzu says, “that we got this opportunity … and those other girls didn’t. How petty of us.”

Ruri can do nothing but nod. She hangs her head in shame. How awful of her to be undecided. How awful of her to not take the chance—

“Excuse me.” 

Ruri’s head snaps up. Standing at the door to the roof is Serena. She doesn’t have a lunch in her hands, and by her crossed arms and pursed lips she doesn't look like she’s come to peacefully chat with them. Ruri instinctively tightens her arms around Zarc, and Yuzu braces herself so that she can get up and run at any moment. They’re cornered up here on the roof. There’s nowhere else to go but jump, but that’s a last resort.

Ruri takes a deep breath. She should play it cool, right? After all, Ray and Zarc said Serena wouldn’t attack them while they were at school. However, Zarc has currently tucked himself into Ruri’s arms and buried his little face into her elbow. If Zarc is scared, should Ruri be afraid too?

“Do you have a minute?” Serena asks. She closes the door behind her and takes a step forward. The breeze rustles her bangs and ponytailed hair, but her frown never disappears from her stoney face.

“Depends,” Yuzu says, hackles raised. “What if we  _ don’t  _ have a minute?”

Serena sniffs. “I’m not really talking to you anyways.” Her eyes slide over to Ruri, piercing her like needles on a doll. “Ruri.”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember what I told you yesterday in the hallway? Do you remember that conversation?”

Ruri does. That conversation rings crystal clear now—but back then when she was talking with Yuzu, and last night with Yuzu, Ray, and Zarc, that conversation had been elsewhere in her mind. Serena told her to hold what was most precious close to her. Does that mean she should or shouldn’t make a wish? Probably not make a wish since Serena seems to dislike Zarc and other puella magi. 

“Do you?” Serena repeats.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Remember it and don’t forget. Most importantly, make sure you don’t forget so that you don’t buy into that thing’s foolishness.”

_ So she is against Zarc and the puella magis,  _ Ruri thinks. She chews her lip. She and Yuzu were just thinking about how silly the whole wishes and puella magi thing was anyway, so Serena’s words make sense. But still … how come Serena told her that yesterday before Ruri even know about Zarc, or before she was aware of the contract?

Serena spins on her heels, heading back towards the door.

“Hey,” Yuzu snaps, “you’re gonna leave like that?”

“I hope my warning will not go to waste, Ruri,” Serena says.

Ruri is done though. There’s another question in her mind though, and on the tip of her tongue too, and she doesn’t even realise she’s spat it out until she hears the still of Serena’s heels on the cement floor and the whoosh of her hair as she spins, tilts her head back, bends it at such an unnatural angle that Ruri nearly gasps at the thought of Serena’s neck snapping.

“What?”

“Serena, I just ... “ Ruri folds her hands together, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. She’s gotta repeat it again?

“Spit it out.”

“I just want to know … what did you wish for when you became a puella magi?”

Something snaps in Serena’s expression. Her eyes narrow and her lips purse like she’s eating something sour, but beneath her cold demeanor Ruri sees her eyes shimmer and lips wobble, and maybe in the right light Ruri would know if Serena is crying. But then Serena spins on her heels and storms away, leaving Ruri and Yuzu on the roof to finish their lunches.

Ruri watches Serena’s back until she disappears behind the door. For the briefest of a moment, Serena looked truly sad. 

_ Why would you be sad?  _ Ruri wonders.  _ What wish did you make that was so painful or unhappy? _

“You can’t … take back a wish, can you?” Ruri asks Zarc.

Zarc shakes his head. “Puella magi only get one wish that they can never undo. It’s why me and Serena and Ray have all been saying that you have to think long and hard before you make a contract with me because you can’t take back what you say. You live with it for the rest of your life, and you fight dragons with your life on the line.”


	6. Six

When they get back to class, Ruri can’t even begin to focus. It’s not even because there’s a dragon on her desk! No, she keeps sneaking glances at Serena, or just downright staring at her throughout her afternoon lessons. What Serena said on the roof has left a painful mark in Ruri’s heart and she’s not sure why. Something sparked an emotion other than aloofness in Serena’s soul. There was something else there, something that Serena wouldn’t want to talk about.

Ruri cups her cheek in her hands. She’d love to know. She’d love to get closer to Serena and become her friend. True, she doesn't really know the girl, but there’s something special about her. Besides, Serena approached Ruri on her first day of class, and to Ruri that shows strength and interest. 

_ Could you be any more obvious?  _ Yuzu says with a giggle.

Ruri feels her cheeks grow hot, and abashedly she ducks her head and stares at her desk. She’s painfully obvious, but never once does Serena look her way. 

When class is over, Serena is the first one out the door, even before Ruri and Yuzu have gathered their books. Ruri watches her go with a heavy feeling in her heart, but she doesn’t speak up and call her back. After all, if she follows Serena out of the schoolyard with Zarc, there’s a greater chance Serena will attack the dragon. As much as Ruri cares for Serena, she also has to protect Zarc.

“Hey, Mieru,” Yuzu says, leaning over her desk. “Ruri and I have something planned this afternoon, so we’ll go on ahead. Sorry about that.”

Ruri glances down at her hands. It feels horrible to exclude Mieru like that, especially when Ruri and Yuzu have always been a little bit closer. Won’t Mieru feel like the third-wheel in the friendship? Will she lash back out at them? Ruri wrings her hands together, palms sweaty.

Mieru claps her hands together. “Ooh, is this that forbidden love in action? Where are you two going, a secluded grove?”

Yuzu smacks her hand on the desk so loudly it reverberates through the four walls of the classroom and probably even down the hallway too. “This again?” 

Mieru shrugs at them. She twists her red curls around her fingers, and then toys with the large bow tied around her neck. “There’s no room for me anymore in your personal lives, now is there?” A sly, foxy smile. “Will I need to start thinking about gifts to give you, or help you with your wedding vows—”

Yuzu huffs and turns away. “That’s all in your mind.” She snatches up Ruri’s arm and tugs her forward, dragging her towards the classroom door. Over her shoulder, Yuzu says, “But we’ll keep you updated, all right? Now come on, Ruri—let’s head out before the school get too crowded.”

Ruri holds tight to Yuzu’s hand as she’d led down the tightly-packed hallways and to the shoe lockers. They exchange their shoes, maneuvering around hundreds of bodies all trying to get out the door as soon as possible. When Ruri’s changed, she searches over the sea of heads to find Yuzu. However, Yuzu is the one who spots her first, and she tugs Ruri away and out the double-doors to the courtyard. 

It’s a bright, sunny day. Now that Ruri’s out of that cramped school and dank classroom, she can take a proper breath of fresh air and feel some of the anxiety ease out of her body. She rolls her shoulders and shakes out her arms; still holding on to Ruri’s hand, Yuzu swings their arms back and forth. Yuzu looks even calmer.

“Ray said she’d meet us at the front gates, right?”

Ruri nods. Today Ray is going to teach them about becoming puella magis. It sounded much, much more daunting yesterday, and though Ruri has to admit it still sounds like a commitment too large for her to even imagine, she’s oddly curious about hearing from a seasoned pro like Ray. She likes Ray too—she’s a kind, mature girl, a bit like a big sister. When Ruri truly thinks about it, she imagines that she’d like to he a kindhearted, strong-willed girl like Ray someday.

Sure enough, at the entrance to the schools waits Ray. She has her backpack slung over her shoulders, a designer bag that oozes money. Ray’s hair is tied up in twintails again, with the pink undersides of her hair showing. She curtsies when they approach, and then laughs and twists her hair around her arms. 

“Waiting long?” Yuzu asks, falling into step with Ray. Ruri follow suit. Together, the three girls begin to make their way towards the city centre. As the path widens, the buildings grow taller. The sun disappears first behind clouds and then behind buildings, yet the city never becomes too dark. Ruri feels like she’s walking on starlight as she, Yuzu, and Ray enter into a quaint little cafe serving tea and shakes and bubble tea. It’s the sort of cafe girls often go to after school, but since Ruri and Yuzu head to the music store after classes they never stop to get snacks.

Ray seems to know this place though. She marches right up to the queue, waits, and then orders. Yuzu follows her, but Ruri lingers behind. This places seems a tad familiar. Has she ever walked by this cafe before? Or maybe long ago Shun took her here. 

“Ruri?” Yuzu beckons her close. “Come on and order something, and then we can take our seats.”

Ruri stumbles forward. The menu is full of dozens of different hot and cold beverages, each with their hundreds and thousands of modifiers. There’s even a display case stocked with cakes and snacks, scrumptiously layered with fruit or cream or both. By the time it’s Ruri’s turn to order, she hasn’t even decided on what she’d like to drink. She gets the same thing as Yuzu then, and carries the drink over to a small, circular table with booth seats. Yuzu and Ray sit across from each other, so Ruri sits next to Yuzu.

When they’re all seated and taken the first sip of their drinks, Ray claps her hands once. 

“So,” she says, leaning forward and steepling her hands under her chin, “are you ready to start your first lesson of puella magi 101?”

Yuzu bobs her head up and down, but Ruri jerkily nods just once.

“Did you think about the kind of puella magi you’d like to become?”

To everyone’s surprise, Yuzu laughs outright. “I couldn’t bring it with me ‘cuz I couldn’t get it out of the house, but I want a fan … no, a sword! A sword to kill a dragon with!”

“Just like in the story books,” Ray muses. “And you, Ruri—what kind of puella magi would you like to become?”

Serena’s words ring in Ruri’s ears, but then again Ruri had forgotten about them last night when Ray so eagerly talked about her adventures as a puella magi. Hesitantly, and with her ears burning, Ruri reaches into her backpack and takes out a spiral-bound notebook. She flips through her notes, searching for a page that she coloured last night.

“Here,” Ruri says, turning the book around. “I was thinking, well … maybe I could look like this.”

On the page is the drawing of a girl, arms and legs straight just like a dress-up doll in a children’s book. The girl is dressed in a dark purple dress with a short, tutu-like skirt fluffing out over her legs wrapped in white, satin tights. The dress features wing-like ruffles on either side of her hips, and behind her back too. Her shoes are ballerina slippers tied up with purple ribbon too. And, in Ruri’s hair, are the yellow ribbons Shun tied her hair up and that she still wears.

Yuzu leans closer, frowning. “Where’s your … ah hah, there it is.” 

She jabs a finger to Ruri’s weapon—a bow and arrow, both featuring the same wing-like designs as on the dress. 

“Well,” Ruri says, “what do you …”

The words die in her mouth as she spots the hidden giggles of Ray and Yuzu. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Ray says, smothering a chuckle into the palm of her hand. “It’s lovely, Ruri. How did you come up with the design?”

It sounds like Ray is teasing her, but Ruri takes the question seriously. “I don’t know. It just came to my mind last night, and I started sketching, and …” She side-eyes Yuzu, still giggling. “It’s really not all that funny. You—you look lovely as a puella magi, Ray, and so I thought I should think about that too.”

“It’s always important to look good on the job and do your best, right?” Ray laughs again, a clear, pleasing note. She reaches under her sleeve and yanks out a thin, silver bracelet inlaid with a pink and red gem. It looks like something is moving  _ inside  _ the gem, and both Ruri and Yuzu gape at it for a moment before Ray keeps speaking.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” she says. “It’s a Soul Gem.” She twists it around on her wrist. “You can see that it’s glowing too. That’s because it’s reacting to the magical energies of the dragon from yesterday. When dragons are nearby, your Soul Gem will glow. That’s how you find the dragons.”

“Like a compass then,” Ruri says.

Ray nods.

“How original,” Yuzu says. “I thought you used like telepathy or some other magical power.”

Laughing, Ray tugs the bracelet off her wrist and rolls it between her fingers. “It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? Well, now that you know that this bracelet is a dragon compass, how about we go off and find one?”

“Like just walk?”

They stand up from the table, gathering up their belongings. On their way out of the cafe, and then down the busy boulevard, Ray tells them, “Well, that would mean running blindly around the city hoping something terrible has happened. However, if you’re smart and practical like me, then you’ll know that the curses of dragons often create terrible consequences like car crashes, injuries, and suicides. I go looking in places where those dangers might occur.”

Ruri shivers. Will they find someone who’s hurt or ill? 

“Also hospitals, though …” Ray’s gaze darkens. “Imagine a dragon going after someone in a hospital. It would be like a feast for them because so many people there are injured, ill, or weakened—”

Just as Ray is about to say more, and Yuzu to open her mouth, Ray’s bracelet pulses an angry red colour. Ray’s eyes widen, and she turns sharply down a nearby side-road. Her steps quicken, feet slamming against the pavement.

“Hurry up—it’s close!”

Yuzu chases after Ray, but Ruri feels her blood run cold and she stumbles after them. What will Ray find? Who’s in trouble? Will they be OK? Will they make it in time? Thousands of questions run through her head. This is the work of a puella magi—this is the work Serena doesn’t want her to take on. But then there’s Ray, a saviour and hope to the world. She runs confidently ahead, following the glow of her bracelet. It must be tugging her soul forward, urging her towards the danger.

The side-street dead-ends at a cul-de-sac surrounded by office buildings and apartments. Ray begins searching around, spinning, scanning the streets and the buildings for any sign of danger. Ruri looks too, though she doubts she’s much help when she’s not even sure what she should be searching for. How will she know a dragon is nearby? How will she know if someone is in danger?

Yuzu jabs a finger up towards the sky. “Ray, up there!”

Ruri’s eyes snap to where Yuzu is pointing. There, standing atop the building is a woman. Her long hair blows in the breeze. She’s up rather high, and her toes—oh gods! Ruri brings a hand to her mouth. The woman is standing at the edge of the building, arms crossed tight. She’s—

The woman tumbles forward, head first down the side of the building.

Ruri screams into her hand.

And then Ray appears next to her as a puella magi, dressed up and holding out her bracelet-wearing hand. The gem glows a gentle, reassuring pink. From within the bracelet come sets of thick ribbons that snake around the woman and gently ease her fall. Ruri watches with fear and admiration as Ray slows the woman’s fall and carefully brings her to the ground. When she’s landed, Ray approaches without hesitation and kneels by the girl.

Ruri’s legs feel so weak she can hardly keep herself upright. “Is she …” she begins.

“Just unconscious,” Ray says. She beckons the girls closer, and both Ruri and Yuzu kneel down next to the unconscious woman. There’s not a single scratch on her body; Ray truly caught her fall. However, when Ray brushes the woman’s hair back, Ruri spots a a circular mark on the back of her neck.

“What is that?” Yuzu asks, voice softer than a whisper.

“A dragon’s bite.”

Ruri and Yuzu shudder.

“Like …” Yuzu bites down on her hand. “A vampire?”

Ray shakes her head. She glances up towards the building, eyes narrowing. Her bracelet is still glowing, Ruri realises, which means—

“I’ll explain later,” Ray says. “The dragon is inside that building—let’s go get it!”

Ray doesn’t give either of them a chance to think. She dashes forward and through the building doors; Yuzu and Ruri follow hot on her heels. They’re immediately plunged into near-darkness, with the only light coming from Ray’s bracelet. Ruri feels like she’s been swallowed up by a great monster. She places her hands on the walls, worried her mind may begin to play tricks on itself. What will it be like to fight the dragon? The last time they were in that place, there were weird, mustached things flying around. Will they see those creatures again, or will it be something else? What can Ruri truly expect?

They travel through the dark hallways. Ray seems to know where to go, leading them through doors, up stairs, and all throughout the abandoned building. Eventually she stops though, crouching down to scoop up … a pole, the typical kind you might find at a construction site. She tosses it from hand to hand, and then extends it out to Yuzu.

“It’s not a sword, but …” She laughs. “It’ll do for now.”

Yuzu takes it hesitantly, but then brings both hands to it and holds it out like a real sword. 

“Ready to fight a dragon?”

Yuzu huffs, eyebrows low over her blue eyes. “Ready.”

Ruri brings her arms around her shoulders. Ray never gave her anything, so she must not be able to fight. It sends a pang of worry through her heart—is she useless? Does Ray see her as weak?

“Stay close, Ruri,” Ray says. “When we go around this corner, we should find the dragon’s familiars. If we defeat the familiars, we’ll find the dragon.”

Ruri and Yuzu both nod their heads. Ray turns back around and leans around the corner. Then she disappears, and Yuzu goes next. Ruri closes her eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, and then follows them around the bend.

The sky is littered with butterflies—no, not butterflies, ghost-like butterflies. The familiars have the beautiful, coloured wings, but their bodies are icky, goopy white blobs that drip down onto the concrete ground. There’s so many of them in the sky, all glowing, that the entire hallway is lit up. Ruri feels a cold sweat down her spine, and she takes a step back out of shock.

Ray and Yuzu step forward. Ray begins shooting the creatures, first with magic bullets and then with what can only be real guns. Meanwhile, Yuzu swings her pole around like a sword, knocking the familiars into the wall. The creatures explode on contact, probably too weak to stand a real fight. Ruri sticks close to Yuzu, worried for her friend.

_ Hey. _

Ruri glances down at Zarc. Ever since Ray had started talking about puella magis, Zarc had quieted down. 

_ Are you impressed?  _ Zarc says.  _ Puella magis are beautiful, strong girls. They’re girls with dreams and aspirations. Your friend there, Yuzu—she could be a wonderful puella magi. _

Ruri nods, a sad pang in her chest. Yuzu is an athletic girl, quick on her feet and with a witty mind. She was a gymnast when she was a child, and her father runs a duel school that promotes active, acrobatic-like dueling. It’s no surprise that Yuzu is so flexible and athletic. She takes after her family. Meanwhile, Ruri struggles to open a jar of pickles. 

The group travels down the corridor, defeating the familiars as they move along. Ruri wonders just how long they’ll have to keep fighting for—surely Ray and Yuzu will get tired soon? Yuzu looks a bit drained, in fact. But yet neither of them can keep the excitement from bubbling in their bellies. This world is so … much. It’s as if they’ve stepped into a paint factory, or found the world turned upside down and all the colours dripped into each other.

However, just when Ruri begins to worry, Ray spins and kicks down a wooden door. “In here—it’s the dragon.”

Ruri turns the corner. In the middle of the room sits a creature that she could never, ever imagine being a dragon. Its great, grotesque body spills around the room like acrid slime, coating the pavement in a filmy residue. There’s a main body of the dragon too, speckled and polka-dotted and striped all at once, only not shaped like a dragon. It doesn’t even look like any sort of animal, but perhaps an eldritch abomination from a horror movie. Giant butterfly wings protrude from its back. It looks like a larger, more fearsome version of the familiars; in fact, there are familiars in this room too, circling around the dragon as if its their queen.

“Gross,” Yuzu says.

“You’re fighting … that?” Ruri says.

Ray chuckles, spinning on her heels. “This one looks easy—relax.” She rubs her hands together, an eager smile on her lips. “Just watch and learn, ladies.”

And then Ray takes off like a graceful dancer, flying through the sky. Her skirts rustle behind her, and from  _ somewhere  _ a set of pistols appear in Ray’s hands. She flips through the sky and shoots, somehow aiming. At first, Ruri doesn’t see any bullets, and the monster doesn’t seem to even notice she’s appeared. Then ribbons shoot from Ray’s guns, wrapping around the dragon like it’s a present. The dragon lets out a piercing scream. Ruri’s hand shoots to her heart.

“Don’t worry,” Ray tells them. “I’m not going to make myself look bad in front of my future comrades.”

The ribbons come together in a bow, tied so tightly around the dragon that it oozes and spills everywhere and yet still manages to retain some of its shape. The ribbons crush the dragon’s wings to its back, and it howls and thrashes. Meanwhile, Ray drops down to the ground and kneels before a cannon. She brings her hands to it, gives it a kiss, and then bellows, “FIRE!”

The room lights up in pink. Ruri doesn’t see what happens, but when her vision is clear the room is empty, not a speck of slime or the flitter of wings in sight. The room is surprisingly bare, and without any of the light from Ray’s bracelet, the familiars, or the dragon, they’re all plunged into darkness. Ray snaps her fingers and several red flames appear at her side.

“She … won,” Yuzu says. Then she cheers, a loud, hearty bellow. “Ray, you won, you won!”

Even Ruri feels a thrumming in her chest. Ray did win—she defeated the dragon! How could Ruri have doubted a pro puella magi? Why was she so scared back then when Ray was so confident?

Ray marches across the room and scoops up something from the ground. She returns with it held between her thumb and forefinger. It’s a gem of sorts, pitch-black and swallowing up the light, and encased in a cradle-shaped metal casing. There are rows of teeth that hold the gem in place. 

“This is a Grief Seed,” Ray explains. “You can also call it a dragon’s egg.”

“Egg?” Yuzu says.

“No dragons are going to come out of here though,” Ray says. “Actually, in this form it’s pretty useful.” She pulls out her bracelet and shows it to the girls. “See how it’s a bit cloudier and not as bright? That’s because I was using my magic when I was fighting. When I fight with magic, I lose my energy and powers. But this Grief Seed here …” 

Ray plunges the end of the Grief Seed into her pink Soul Gem. The cloudiness from the Soul Gem leaks into the Grief Seed; while there’s no change in colour to the Grief Seed, the Soul Gem now glows a healthy pink and red, the same colours as a beautiful sunset. Ray smiles down at it and hums under her breath.

“See, the cloudiness is absorbed and my magic is restored.” Ray tosses the Grief Seed up in the air. “This Seed is actually pretty strong, and it still has a use left. Want me to share it with you … Saotome Serena?”

Ruri swallows audibly at the sound of the voice. Wait—

Serena steps out from around the corner. She’s dressed as a puella magi in her dress and tights, and with a stern expression on her face. Ruri sinks back into the shadows. Her hands tighten on Zarc. If Serena wanted to, she could attack them. She did last time, and it worries Ruri that a fight might break out between Ray and Serena.

Ray holds out the Grief Seed. “Here.”

Serena doesn’t move. 

Ray closes her fingers around it. “Too self-righteous to take a kill from a comrade? Fine.” She tucks the Grief Seed into her pocket and crosses her arms. “How come you’re here then?”

Ruri’s curious about that too. How long has Serena been hanging around, and how much has she seen? Did Serena see the dragon? Did she fight familiars too? 

However, Serena simply turns tail and leaves them, the skirts of her dress fluttering out behind her. Every time her skirt touches the ground, the pathway transforms into a new colour. Her steps echo with the noise of piano keys too; Ruri can’t even imagine how this world exists. Ruri watches her go with a sad smile, wishing she could say something. She really does want to know Serena better, but in this situation with Zarc in her arms there’s not much she can truly do.

“Why’d she even come in the first place then?” Yuzu says, and then shrugs. 

“Maybe she wanted to hang out,” Ruri says quietly.

Yuzu snorts. “Didn’t seem like that.”

Ray takes them both by the shoulders. “It doesn’t matter anyways—she’s just gloomy like that. Now come along, we’ve got to head back to that woman. I bet she’ll be waking up soon, and she’ll be a bit disoriented.”

With her hands on their shoulders, Ray leads Ruri and Yuzu back through the maze of hallways and through the doors into a warm, sunny day. Ruri spots the woman lying on the pavement, and as Ray approaches the woman jerks away. She glances around nervously, bringing one hand to her head and the other to her heart.

“What …” the woman begins.

Ray crouches down, humming softly under her breath. “Hi there, my name is Akaba Ray and I’m here to help you.”

“I was—”

Ray coughs quietly. “You were having a bad dream, I think.”

The woman pauses, and then nods. She lets Ray help her to her feet, and then Ray suggests the woman head to the clinic to make sure her lightheadedness isn’t from illness or exhaustion. The woman responds tiredly, but ultimately appears better than she was when she was under the dragon’s curse. 

Ruri watches on, one hand pressed to her heart. Ray as a puella magi is making real change. She’s protecting the city and the dimension, taking care of people who are woefully hurt by these terrible dragons and their curses. It seems like such a brave, daunting tasks, but with such powerful rewards.

_ I wish I could make a difference like that,  _ Ruri says.

“She’s really cool, isn’t she?” Yuzu says.

Ruri nods. The strap of her backpack digs into her shoulder, and inside the bag Ruri remembers her sketchbook. While Ruri can’t think of a wish, something she’d yearn for with all her being, she knows that, deep down in her heart, she wants to give back and help someone. What would it be like to protect someone—no, protect the world? What would it be like to be someone people could depend on and look up to? For so long she’s been coddled like an infant, taken care of by her brother and her friends. 

_ I hope, someday, someone like me can help others out.  _


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back on a roll with posting! i was on vacation for a bit, but updates will resume! i'll do double-chapters for a bit until i'm caught up with my daily quota, and then i'll go back to chapter-a-day postings.  
> thank you for reading!

Yuzu presses her back to the wall, cradling the album to her chest. She bought it when she was with Ruri before they dashed off and found Zarc and Serena and Ray. Yuzu wished she bought more CDs, but this one will have to do. With a gentle smile, she glances down at the cover.  _ Odd-Eyes Magician  _ is a theme song to a popular anime that has recently gained a live-action performance. Yuzu doesn’t watch the show, but she’s researched it for someone else who loves it with all his heart.

Smile widening, Yuzu scoots along the wall. She’s come to the hospital today, and in the mid-afternoon heat everyone seems to have gone outdoors to the courtyards. The hospital is eerily quiet today in fact, especially this ward. Yuzu shrugs to herself though. That just means more time alone with him.

She hurries the rest of the way down the hallway, searching for his door—it looks different than everyone else’s, decorated with stickers and pictures of him, her, and all their friends. Yuzu doesn’t glance long at the photos though. She swings open the door, letting it roll back into the wall, and pokes her head into the room.

“Hey you!”

Seated on the bed is Yuuya, her closest childhood friend. She met Ruri and Mieru in elementary school, and Yuzu has some friends from clubs she’s been a part of. However, Yuuya means something special to her. Yuuya’s mother and her father went to school together and have stayed close friends, so Yuzu and Yuuya grew up together. They’re practically siblings by this point. Yuzu would do anything for Yuuya, no matter what the risk.

With a sigh, Yuzu glances to Yuuya’s arms. Two months ago he fell at Yuzu’s father entertainment dueling gym, breaking both arms, his collarbone, and suffering a concussion. He’s been in care since then, carefully monitored by the doctors due to his slow recovery. Yuzu remembers the call from her father—she wasn’t at the gym that day—and his panicked voice as he told her Yuuya had fallen and wouldn’t wake up. 

Today though, Yuuya is smiling a bit. His red hair is rustled, with the green tops sticking up like blades of grass. His red eyes are bright in the mid-afternoon sunshine, and dressed in blue cotton pyjamas he looks rather cosy and at peace. However, he looks thinner than the last time she saw him; though he’s been losing weight ever since he came to the hospital, refusing to eat the food the doctors serve. Yuzu is well aware of Yuuya’s depressive episodes, and she worries that today he might just be wearing a mask for her. 

“Hey, you,” he says, voice cracking. “I didn’t think I’d see you today, so busy with school and all that.”

Yuzu skips inside, tucking her hands behind her back. She sways back and forth, letting her skirt rustle along her thighs and her bow bounce over her chest. “I’m never too busy to come see you,” she says, and then laughs at the cheesiness of her own words. Yuzu sits down at one of the chairs by his bed, but she doesn’t remove her hands from behind her back.

Yuuya catches on at once. “Well,” he says with one raised eyebrow.

“Well what?” Yuzu doesn’t remove her hands.

“You wouldn’t come and see me unless you had a reason—”

“Rude!”

“So—” Yuuya leans forward, wincing slightly at the movement. “What’s up, Yuzu?”

Yuzu holds her expression together: lips pursed, eyes narrowed, expression wholly neutral. Then Yuuya sticks out his tongue and crosses his eyes, and at once Yuzu bursts out in laughter, throwing herself back in the chair. She brings up a hand to cover her mouth, forgetting that she was holding the CD behind her back—

Yuuya’s eyes lighten. “So that’s why you’re here,” he says. “Come to brag about the latest CD?”

“Not even close.” Yuzu clears her throat softly, and then dangles it between her singers. “I wish there was someone I knew who shared the same passion as me, who loves actors and performing arts and audiences and smiles and—” 

She drops the CD down in his lap. “Good to know I know just the guy.”

Yuuya’s cheeks turn nearly as red as his hair, and he briefly ducks his head down. When he looks up though, Yuzu sees the sun in his smile. He radiates warmth and happiness from his head to his toes, and had he the muscle strength or energy he might’ve leapt across the bed and hugged her. Strapped down by IVs and strained by muscle damage and fatigue, instead he smiles at her.

“Good thing I have such a great friend.”

Yuzu beams at the praise. She’ll do anything to protect Yuuya’s smile. He’s a born entertainer—her father even said so himself—and Yuzu knows Yuuya belongs where the audience awaits. The fact that he sustained such a terrible injury is a punch to the teeth that she’ll never forgive the gods for. However, she knows Yuuya will get better—she has to believe in him.

Glancing over at Yuuya’s bedside table, Yuzu spots his CD player. She opens her mouth to say something, but Yuuya beats her to it: “Will you listen with me?”

He’s looking at the music player too. With a grimace, he reaches across and tugs the player off the table and into his lap. Yuzu winces—she could have grabbed it for him—but she lets Yuuya fiddle around with the headphones and pass one over to her. Yuzu opens up the CD in the meantime, noting the cutesy design on the front of the CD and the little art booklet inside.

“You’ve probably even heard this CD before,” Yuzu says, popping the headphone into her ear. The cord isn’t very long, so she stretches over the bed, the back of her hand touching the back of Yuuya’s hand.

“Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don’t want to hear it again.”

Yuuya taps the play button.

Sound bursts through the headphone and a symphony roars in Yuzu’s ear. The soundtrack to Odd-Eyes Magician is made up of trumpets and drums, a heavy, upbeat band that makes her want to get up and dance. Odd-Eyes Magician was a show that aired when she was a child, and so Yuzu remembers dancing around her living room with Yuuya, letting him spin her, and letting her spin him, until they were both so dizzy they tumbled onto the carpet and giggled up at the ceiling. 

Yuzu closes her eyes as more memories wash over her. Two months has felt like an eternity. Yuuya has been off school too, so she hasn’t even been able to see him unless she comes to the hospital. It feels like a great barrier is keeping them apart—no, keeping  _ Yuuya  _ apart. Yuzu is still in school, still connected to her friends and family. Yoko comes to the hospital often, staying by Yuuya’s side, but she’s still just one person. Here in the white, sterile hospital room, Yuuya is all alone.

With a heavy sigh, Yuzu leans towards Yuuya. She misses him dearly, she truly does. If she could make a wish, it would be for Yuuya to get better.

Next to her, Yuuya jolts forward.

Yuzu opens her eyes. Yuuya has his own eyes closed, his face ripped in pain. Yuzu gasps, yanking the headphones out of their ears. “Yuuya,” she says. “Yuuya, what’s wrong?”

She knows exactly what it is though—a headache brought on by the concussion. It happens when there’s too much noise in the room, or too much sunlight, or too much anything. It’s why Yuuya can’t return to school, why even if his physical body heals his mind needs extra time. Yuuya pushes himself too often, and it pains Yuzu to see him in such pain. As Yuuya leans forward and breathes deeply, in and out, Yuzu busies herself with wrapping up the CD player and headphones and placing them back on the bedside table.

“Yuuya?” she whispers. “I’m going to get you something to drink—I’ll be right back.”

Yuuya nods stiffly, not even raising his head.

When Yuzu slips out of the door though, her ankles nearly break. She feels weak, powerless. There’s only so muchs she can do—that he can do too—while he recovers. There are no miracle cures, not really. It takes time, the doctors say, but Yuzu wants Yuuya to get better now. He has a career and a future and a dream and a wish, and …

Yuzu swallows. He has a wish … and so does she. And they’re the same, aren’t they? She has the power to grant a wish, and it’s neither selfish or naive to wish for the same thing as someone else … right?

* * *

If Ruri could be like anyone, she’d like to be like Ray—graceful, elegant, a goddess sweeping across the twilight sky in a beautiful dress and heels, bringing hope and smiles to the world. Ray makes being a puella magi look easy, and though Ruri herself doesn’t quite feel comfortable taking the weight of the world’s problems on her slim shoulders, she has to admit that it would be an honour to work alongside Ray.

Tonight, Ray has taken them out on another dragon-hunting expedition. The sun has disappeared beyond the mountains and buildings, and the only light comes from the tall, lanky lampposts. Ruri and Yuzu stick close to Ray, though today Yuzu has come bearing a baseball bat. Ruri feels a tad helpless, and though Ray offers to find her a weapon, in all honestly Ruri doesn’t want to fight.

This feeling only increases once they begin spotting familiars in the roads. The familiars aren’t quite as dreadful-looking as the dragons, but each one resonates despair that freezes Ruri on the spot. She can’t look away from the horrible sights before her: familiars with missing limbs, splattered with paint; deformed eyes. And then there are those that, in another future, might have been beautiful, but when Ruri looks at their porcelain faces and stained-glass features her stomach drops to her toes. Nothing in those creatures looks right.

She must be the only one that feels that way though. Ahead of her, Ray and Yuzu defeat the familiars with ease, never shying away from a fight. They slice through the thicket of them.

Yuzu brushes her bangs out of her eyes, letting out a gusty sigh. “No Grief Seeds, huh?”

Ray shakes her head. “Familiars don’t drop Grief Seeds, just dragons.”

Yuzu swings her bat around like a baton. “Well then how come we’re fighting off these measly things? Shouldn’t we be going after a dragon?”

Ruri nods her head. It does make sense that they should fight off the larger creatures, though Ruri doubts she has it in her to come face to face with a dragon tonight. They’ve been out here for at least an hour now and her nerves are fried.

To their surprise, Ray frowns. “You shouldn’t underestimate familiars,” she says, wagging her finger. “They’re equally dangerous, especially in large numbers. Besides, and I don’t think I explained this properly …” Ray’s voice drops. “Familiars can become dragons, so that’s why we can’t leave them alone. This may feel like clean up duty, but it’s just as important to protect the dimensions from familiars as it is to protect the dimensions from dragons. We wouldn’t want some of these measly guys to turn into indestructible dragons.”

“True,” Ruri says, voice softer than a butterfly’s.

Yuzu folds her arms though. “But then what’s the reward? Wouldn’t you want the familiars to turn into dragons so you get a Grief Seed?”

“Sometimes,” Ray says, “you can’t defeat a dragon by yourself, and you’ll be in grave danger if you can’t team up with another puella magi. It’s better to do damage control and keep the dragon population at bay instead of assuming you can simply harvest all the Grief Seeds.”

The conversation falls silent as Ruri contemplates Ray’s words. She’s never seen puella magi working together, come to think of it. Ray has recruited both of them, but neither of them have made wishes and so they truthfully aren’t much help to her. Serena is a lone wolf and Ruri can’t imagine her working together. And of course Ray and Serena can’t be the only two puella magis in all of the dimensions, but then … where are the others? How many are there?

“Hey girls,” Ray says. “Have you thought of your wishes?”

Yuzu shrugs. “Still thinking ‘bout it.”

“And you, Ruri?”

Ruri shakes her head. “Not quite yet.” But … Ruri chews on her lip. “Ray, what did you wish for?”

Never before has Ruri seen Ray’s expression close up like a clam shell, her face darkening and her eyes straying towards her heeled shoes. Ruri leaps to the rescue at once, throwing out a hand and saying, “Don’t answer that—sorry—I didn’t mean—what I was trying to say is—”

“It’s fine.” Ray’s voice sounds like it’s coming from the other side of a long tunnel. “It’s not like there’s some law that says you can’t tell someone your wish or it’ll never come true.” Glancing up, Ray rolls back her shoulders. “A couple years ago in my father’s laboratory, there was an accident. I was studying for my own classes, but I was with him when something … went wrong. I’m not even sure what happened, but when I opened my eyes my father was gone, and the dimensions around me were in flames … and sitting in front of me was Zarc.

“He asked me, ‘What is your wish, Miss Ray?’ I didn’t even know what I wanted, what I  _ could  _ want. I was in such shock from the accident that I thought I was already dead and at the gates of the Spirit World. But then I knew I was in danger, and the more I was aware of what was going on the more I realised that I wasn’t dead, but that I was  _ dying,  _ and foolishly I saved my own life. My wish that sealed my contract was ‘Save me.’”

Yuzu chews on her lip. “You didn’t really have a choice though …”

Ray’s pigtails bounce on her shoulders. “You’re right—and that’s why I want you girls to think carefully about your own wishes. You have a choice that only you can make, You have the freedom to think about what you want—”

“Ray.”

Ray blinks, startled by the interruption. “Yes, Yuzu?”

“Does the wish we make … have to benefit ourselves?”

“It would be pretty naive to say that wishes only benefit one person because they can make such an impact on the dimensions—”

Yuzu shakes her head though. “No, no—like can I make a wish for someone else?”

This time Ray does seem to understand, and the shadows return to her eyes. She chews on her lip, but before she can even get a word out Yuzu starts rambling just like Ruri does when she gets flustered, a torrent of strung-together sounds that hardly resemble words.

“Think of this hypothetical situation for me, all right? And think of the power a wish can grant—the greatest power in the world. Now, say there is someone out there that really, really needs their wish granted, and I’ve already got enough privilege and I don’t need anything else. If there was a hypothetical someone out there that was worse off than me, wouldn’t it make sense that I give my wish to them? After all, it would benefit them more than it would benefit me.”

Through Yuzu’s rambling, Ruri begins to thread bits of info together. Someone that Yuzu cares deeply about, and who might need help. Someone who Yuzu values with her life and would make a wish for. There could only be one person then.

“Yuzu, you want to make your wish for Yuuya?”

“I  _ said  _ it was a hypothetical situation!” Yuzu snaps, crossing her arms. By the pink flush of her cheeks though, Ruri knows she’s guessed correctly.

Since Ray doesn’t know Yuuya, or at least she shouldn’t, she takes a moment longer to think it over. In the end, she says, “Well, you could. It’s happened before—I’ve heard of puella magi who made their wishes for friends or family or lovers. But …” She crosses her arms tightly over her chest. “I don’t like that idea at all.”

“How come?” Yuzu says, a tad defensive. Ruri sets a hand on Yuzu’s shoulder—if Ruri had a friend like Yuuya, a person who she cared deeply for and who was in an unfortunate situation, she’d make a wish for them too. 

“Yuzu.”

“What?”

“Are you making that wish so that Yuuya’s dreams come true … or because you want him to be indebted to you?”

Yuzu’s mouth drops open, but no sound comes out.

Ray plows on: “If you want to make a wish for someone else, then you have to think very carefully about what  _ you  _ want. Do you want Yuuya to be better, or do you want Yuuya to thank you for making his wish come true? Those may sound the same, and maybe you can’t spot the difference and you don’t think you’ll choose the latter—but let me tell you that in my experience, when someone makes a wish for a dear friend, it is  _ always  _ with the intention to be thanked.”

Ruri feels Yuzu’s shoulders bunch up and tighten, but Yuzu doesn’t fight back. She lets her emotions run through her body and boil her blood, and then she lets out a long breath she must have been holding in.

“I’m sorry for my harshness,” Ray says, “but I don’t want a friend of mine and a future fellow puella magi to make that mistake. You only get one wish, and I don’t want you to regret it down the road. Your wish may change, but you’ll still be a puella magi.”

_ Forever?  _ Ruri wonders, but in the dead of night and with the mood so low, Ruri keeps her thoughts to herself. She gives Yuzu’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, and Yuzu leans into her touch a bit. 

“I’m … sorry,” Yuzu says at last. “I want to be a puella magi, but I jumped ahead of myself there.”

“It really is the biggest decision you might ever make.” Ray chuckles under her breath. “I can see your excitement about wanting to make a contract, but don’t hesitate to take the time and think of a wish only magic could grant. If I could leave puella magis with only one piece of advice, it would be to not rush a decision of such importance. Time can wait for you.”

After such a heavy topic, Ruri feels the anxiety begin to ebb from her body. There’s no rush yet. There’s no hurry to become a puella magi, at least not yet. For now, she can keep on following Ray around and learning about the kind of work she does. Then, someday, Ruri can become a puella magi who’s strong and confident and beautiful, a girl that she really wants to be. 

_ I’ll still be me,  _ she thinks, musing on Serena’s words.  _ I’ll be me who brings hope and smiles to the world. _

For the rest of the night, Ruri follows faithfully behind Ray and Yuzu as they defeat the rest of the familiars. Since it’s late, at the end of the expedition Ray walks both of them back to their houses and bids them goodnight. The stars have appeared over their heads, and before she heads inside Ruri glances up at the starscape. There are a million galaxies out there, and even more planets and dimensions that it takes her breath away.

Sighing softly, Ruri sneaks through the doorway and tiptoes to her bedroom. She unties the ribbons in her hair and slips into a soft, violet pair of pyjamas. Her long hair brushes down her back. It’s tangled at the ends, but she’s too tired tonight to bother with it. The moment she sits down on the bed, her body craves to fall back into the blankets and go to sleep.

“Hey.”

The voice startles Ruri, scrambling to the head of her bed, but as soon as she rises she spots a familiar black head and glowing green eyes. 

“Zarc.” She breathes a sigh of relief, letting her weary body droop against the pillows bunched up at the top of her bed. She hadn’t seen Zarc all night, though she supposes that he’s got many more puella magi to keep an eye on, especially ones that aren’t so indecisive like her. 

Zarc blinks, long and slow, at her.

“I … don’t think I can make a contract quite yet,” Ruri says, breaking the uncomfortable silence. She waits for Zarc to berate her, though the little dragon keeps quiet and watches her with its glassy eyes. “This is such a big decision that I don’t want to rush into it, and I want to make a special wish like Ray said we should.”

“I can’t rush you,” Zarc says. “It’s against the rules.”

“Rules?” Ray says.

Zarc doesn’t elaborate.

“Well,” she says, chewing on her lip, “it’s not like I’d be all that important anyways. Puella magis are born every day, aren’t they? There must be millions of girls out there. Still.” Ruri smiles into her pillow. “If I were to become a puella magi, I think I’d like to be like Ray—cool and powerful and beautiful.”

Zarc tiptoes across the bed, settling down by her head with his tail wrapped around his body. He looks like a little loaf of bread without any legs. “If you became a puella magi, no doubt you would be stronger than Ray.”

“What?” Ruri says, and then says, “No way,” for good measure. It’s true—how could she be better than Ray? There’s just no dimension or universe where that could be possible.

Zarc reaches out though and taps his tail to her lips, silencing her before she even has the words out. “Of course, your power also depends on the wish that you make when your form a contract with me. I can’t even imagine how big and beautiful the Soul Gem you could produce would be. You’re the first girl I’ve ever met with so much talent inside her.”

Zarc stumbles back as Ruri pulls the covers over her head, groaning into her sheets. 

“You’re embarrassing me,” she mutters, “and you’re making that up, I just know you are. You must be joking, or you’re saying that just to make me make the contract faster.” Peeking out from the covers, Ray meets Zarc’s eyes. “Aren’t you?”

“I’m not.” 

Ruri pulls the covers over her head, curling up in a ball. Her cheeks burn in embarrassment, and her heart aches. When someone compliments her, it has the opposite effect—she gets sweaty and nervous and flustered, as if someone has dropped a thousand-pound weight of expectations on her shoulders. 

_ I’ll never be a puella magi like that,  _ Ruri thinks.  _ Who knows if I’ll ever even become one? _


	8. Eight

Ruri kicks her legs back and forth, leaning her head back against the plastic seat. She’s waiting for Yuzu who literally dashed out the doors of the school calling behind her, “Hey, come catch up to me—I’m going to see Yuuya!” Something had her excited today, but Ruri has no idea what it could be. Nonetheless, here she is in the waiting room, kicking around until Yuzu returns. A part of her is curious to see Yuzu and Yuuya together. She remembers Yuuya from elementary school, though Yuuya has been Yuzu’s friend longer than Ruri has been.

That’s why Ruri keeps herself planted in her seat—Yuuya has been Yuzu’s friend for longer, and though that shouldn’t make a difference it means that he’s someone very special in her life. Ruri wouldn’t want to intrude on their special time together, so she hangs back.

Besides, she has Zarc anyway. The little dragon appeared this morning and hasn’t left her side. Ruri wonders why Zarc would be hanging around today of all days—Ray hasn’t even invited them out to hunt dragons. Today is just a normal, everyday kind of day, and to be honest Ruri still can’t find it in herself to settle. She’s uncomfortable, not just because hospitals always put her a bit on edge and make her think about the many sick people here, but also because this is the first day in a while that could truly  _ feel  _ normal. Ever since Serena joined the class and Ray appeared, and even before then when Ruri first had that mysterious dream, the days have been filled with strange and extraordinary occurrences. Now it’s just … normal.

And it shouldn’t be.

Crossing her ankles, Ruri brings herself closer together. Anxiety eats away at her stomach, and she gingerly places a hand to her gut. Really, nothing is—

“Yo!”

Ruri’s head shoots up so fast she’s surprised her neck doesn’t snap.

“Woah, easy there!” Yuzu says, raising a hand. “It’s just me.”

It’s just Yuzu. Her cheeks are a bit pink, and her eyes are watery from what could be tears. Ruri knows better than to mention the tears, but she is curious about Yuuya.

“You’re back … early,” Ruri comments, flicking her eyes to the clock. “Is everything all right?”

Yuzu shrugs. “Yuuya’s not doing well today—pretty tired, coming down with a cold, just not in the right kind of spirits for company.” She laughs. “You know how it is—I wouldn’t wanna be serving guests when I felt shitty either.”

“Yeah,” Ruri agrees, noting the sad tilt to Yuzu’s eyes. It’s clear she’s unhappy with the outcome and forcing herself to smile. However, she’s skilled at hiding it, and only someone who knew her like Ruri would be able to see the pain underneath her cheerful demeanor.

Yuzu crosses her arms and huffs loudly. “But then I told him, ‘I ran all the way over to see you—aren’t you grateful?’ and he laughed a bit at that. It was good to see him though, so I’m glad … I still came.” She coughs into her fist, and then adds, “Are you ready to go?”

Ruri nods and follows behind Yuzu. They pass down long, winding hallways, and though all the walls look the same to Ruri, Yuzu seems to know her way around. She must’ve walked these hallways a hundred times since Yuuya was first admitted here. Yuzu hasn’t missed a single day without seeing Yuuya, and even when Yuuya feels this low Yuzu still comes to keep him company for an hour. In a way, Ruri feels a twinge of jealousy for how well Yuzu can take care of her friends. It’s as if everyone else in the dimensions just knows what they’re meant to do—what their mission in life is—and Ruri is still stumbling her way along.

They pass through a hallway of windows through which Ruri sees the droopy, afternoon sun. They’ve still been at the hospital for a while, and by the time Ruri gets back it’ll be dinnertime. She might even have to take Zarc home too; at the moment, the dragon rests on her shoulders with his tail snaking down her back.

Through the window a glimmer catches in Ruri’s eyes. She stops walking and stares for a moment. It looks like it’s coming from the side of a building, but when she squints her eyes Ruri sees that it’s a reflection, meaning—

She turns around. There, nestled into the wall, is a small, silver, top-like ornament with an inky, black gem inside.

Ruri gasps. “Grief Seed,” she says.

Yuzu’s eyes widen. “Here?” Her eyes follow to the Grief Seed in the wall, and she gasps too. 

Thick, black tendrils shoot out of the Grief Seed, wrapping around the wall like choking veins. They burrow into the walls, cracking the paint and stone. The lights begin to flicker over their heads. Ruri feels her breath begin to go faint, and she steps back.

“Why here?” she says. “Why—”

Zarc pulls her bag, digging his nails into her shoulder. “Ruri, you can’t go near it. Soon the barrier will go up and you’ll be trapped—you can’t fight it, not unless you’re a puella magi.”

“But—”

“But what about the patients!” Yuzu says. Her voice screeches down the hallway like nails on a chalkboard. “Everyone here—they all need to be protected! We can’t just leave them when the barrier will go up. Ray said that it would be terrible if a dragon possessed a hospital. So we need—we need Ray!”

Ruri nods. Right now, Ray is the only one who can fight the familiars and dragons inside a barrier. Yet Ruri’s legs feel like jelly and her throat is swollen shut, and she stands frozen in place. What can she do?

“Ruri!” Yuzu screams. “Go get Ray! I’ll stay here!”

A cold sweat washes over Ruri. “But—but Yuzu—” she begins. She  _ can’t  _ leave Yuzu alone, not if the barrier will go up. Yuzu wouldn’t stand a chance in that place, not without magic. Using a bat or a pole as a weapon will only get her so far. 

“I wouldn’t do that,” Zarc says. “If the barrier goes up before Ray gets back, you’ll be trapped—”

“I don’t care!” Yuzu clenches her hands in fists, knuckles white, face white—but determined. “I don’t care,” she repeats, “so long as I keep everyone safe. But Ruri, you have to go—now! Find Ray as quickly as you can!”

Ruri wants to shake her head and stay with Yuzu, but what good will that do? If she wants to help, if she wants to keep her friends safe, then she has to listen to Yuzu and leave her. Sniffling softly, Ruri wipes at her eyes and nose. “F-fine,” she says. “But promise me you’ll be OK.”

Zarc hops down from Ruri’s shoulder and climbs onto Yuzu’s. “There’s no stopping you, is there?” he jokes. “Well, Ruri, I’ll keep an eye on Yuzu until you get back. I might not be able to do much, but I can transmit my location to Ray using telepathy. That should help you out so long as you find her.”

“All right.” Ruri’s own hands clench into fists, and it’s all it takes to keep her from falling apart. She takes a deep breath, and then turns and runs. She doesn’t look back over her shoulder to see what Yuzu might be saying or thinking or feeling because none of those things will matter if Ruri doesn’t find help fast. For once, Ruri has a chance to help someone, and she can’t screw it up!

Ruri charges through the hallway, no longer caring where it leads. Her mind spins from all the boggling, white walls she sees, but at last she spots a door leading to somewhere green and she flies out of it. It leads to the main road, which Ruri takes down towards Ray’s house. It’s the only place where she thinks Ray could be, and she doesn’t have time to think of anywhere else. If Ray isn’t home, she’s screwed.

Fortunately, Ray’s house isn’t far from the hospital. The towering penthouse overlooks the main road. Ruri dashes up the steps, lungs gasping for breath, and falls into the glass door. She slams on the button for Ray’s room number, and keeps pressing even when she hears Ray pick up.

“Hello?”

“Ray, Ray—help! It’s—it’s Yuzu. She’s there, and it—it’s a Grief Seed at the hospital!”

“I’m on my way down.”

The line falls silent. 

Ruri keeps pressing the speaker button for a moment longer, until she gives up and her head topples into the speakerbox. For one painful, fleeting moment, Ruri wonders if it’s too late. The Grief Seed had already started to give birth to the dragon, so has the barrier already gone up? Is there any chance? There must be; there has to be! But Ruri can’t quell the anxiety in her mind telling her she’s wrong, so wrong, that she messed up and it will never be all right.

A sob bubbles up in her throat. 

_ Is this what being a puella magi is like?  _ she wonders.  _ How does Ray live so confidently? _

Like the shining grace that she is, Ray appears through the doorway. Ruri lifts her head, embarrassedly brushing away her unshed tears and mopey expression. She can’t quite get a smile to her face, or even clean herself up, but before she can even explain herself Ray gives her a strong hug like a mother might hug her daughter.

“I’m here,” Ray says. “Now let’s go.”

Ray takes Ruri’s hand and tugs her back down the stairs and onto the main road. Ruri wonders,  _ Wait, how do you know where you’re supposed to be going?  _ but then she remembers her embarrassing prattle in the speakerbox that somehow Ray understood. Ray doesn’t need to hear anything more. In fact, the silence becomes more comfortable with Ray around. When Ruri wriggles her fingers she feels Ray’s smooth skin and her gentle pulse.

When they get back to the hospital and through the doors, Ray slows her pace down. Her brown flats tap-tap-tap on the floor, creating a rhythmic echo all along the silent corridors. Behind her, Ruri peers over Ray’s shoulder. She doesn’t remember where she ran from, and the hospital is so big that Yuzu and Zarc could be anywhere.

_ Zarc?  _ Ray says, and Ruri hears it in her mind. Telepathy, oh right!

_ We’re here in the hospital. Come on through the barrier before it closes. _

Though Ruri has been in a dragon’s barrier before, she’s not quite sure what it means to go through a barrier. One minute she’s holding Ray’s hand, feeling the warmth beside her and the sun on her cheeks through the windows—and then she is elsewhere in the dimensions in a place that shouldn’t exist. It’s a hospital, but the walls are all painted with pink and white pinstripes and there are great, golden arches around hundreds of doors stretching as far back as Ruri can see. The floor is made of jelly, it feels like, and Ruri steadies herself by holding onto Ray.

Oh.

Ray has changed too. She’s in her puella magi uniform, looking suddenly older and wiser and more beautiful that Ruri could ever imagine. Ray’s pigtailed hair blows from an unknown breeze, and her skirts and dress rustle together. 

_ We’re in,  _ Ray says.

_ I’ve sent you the coordinates to where we are, but tread carefully. The dragon might wake up if you make too much noise, and we don’t want to stimulate the Seed awake while you’re not here. _

_ Mhm.  _ Ray rubs her hands together, a slow smile spreading on her face. She turns back to Yuzu, and asks, “So how’d you find this witch?”

“Yuzu and I were at the hospital, and Yuzu was visiting a friend … and then I saw the Grief Seed on the wall.”

“Bad luck,” Ray says, “but it can’t be helped. Come along, we’ll go save Yuzu and Zarc before things get hairy.” She takes Ruri’s hand again, but just as both girls are about to walk forward Ray stops and pauses. Her gaze flickers around the room, and Ruri freezes on the spot. What has Ray seen? Are they in trouble? Have familiars found them?

“Oh, it’s you.” 

Ray relaxes, and Ruri tries to as well. She peeks over her shoulder only to find Serena there, dressed not as a puella magi but as a schoolgirl. Ruri saw her in class today, but Serena never followed her home. She must have sensed that a dragon was about to be born in the hospital and came to visit. However … Ruri swallows. If Serena finds Zarc, she might attack the little, non-dangerous dragon. 

“Serena,” Ruri says, smiling softly. It’s best to not show too much hesitation. Serena hasn’t fought them … yet. And she can’t, not unless she transforms.

“I’ll fight the dragon today,” Serena says. “Of course, I will spare those other two in there. There’s no point in shedding more blood.”

Ray twirls a twintail around her finger, chuckling under her breath. “You really think I’ll believe you? You think I’ll step aside and let you take the kill? Did you really think I’d  _ trust _ you?”

_ Snap!  _

Ruri jumps, unsure what happened or where it came from. When she opens her eyes though, pink and red ribbons have snapped around Serena’s ankles and arms, pinning her to the ground. Serena squirms, snarling out curses. However, it appears she can’t even transform while being bound. She writhes back and forth.

“You’re an idiot, Akaba Ray! Don’t you dare take that on by yourself!”

“And trust you? Hah. I’m at least smarter than that.” Ray takes hold of Ruri’s hand and tugs her forward. Ruri bumps into Ray’s chest, and though she feels safe in Ray’s mothering embrace, Ruri can’t meet Serena’s eyes. Something about that horrid, burning expression makes Ruri bury her face into Ray’s collarbone.

“If you struggle, those ribbons will only squeeze tighter.” Ray grins. “Toodles.”

“Ruri!” Serena screams. 

Ruri squeezes her eyes shut.

“Stop!” Serena screams again. “This dragon is stronger, on a completely different level than—”

But even if Ruri were to dig her heels in, Ray has pulled her so fast down the hallways that Ruri’s eyes can’t keep track of all the hallways they dart down, all the strange, kaleidoscopic sights they see. Ray powerwalks with all the beauty and grace of a royal queen. She never looks back, never hesitates to move. Next to her, Ruri feels that same, nagging uselessness.

At the end of the hallway, Ray finally passes through a door. She tugs Ruri in and pushes her against the wall, keeping them side-by-side while Ray peers around a corner. Ruri hears scuttling sounds coming from the other side, and there’s music in her ears—faint, but she hears trumpets and trombones playing a band-like melody. Whatever is going on further in the hospital must be where the dragon lies waiting.

“Um …”

Ray inches forward, leaning further around the corner.

Ruri squeezes Ray’s hand tightly. “Miss Ray …”

Ray squeezes back. “Yeah, Ruri?”

“I’ve … been thinking about my wish—not a lot, sorry, and not really how I think I should be. But … I’ve thought about a lot of possibilities that might work.”

Ray turns around. Ruri expects her to be frowning, exasperated at Ruri’s incessant babbling and indecisiveness, but instead Ray has a rather kind smile to her. 

“Let’s hear it.”

“Well …” Ruri clasps her hands together, and stares down abashedly at them. “I don’t have any subjects I’m strong in, nor do I have any abilities I’m proud of. I’m not in any clubs or extracurriculars. I’m pretty average, actually. I think the only person I stand out to is my brother, and even then he just calls me a sleepyhead all the time. 

“I’m starting to realise something about myself that I truly wish I could change, that I hate with every fiber of my being. I think I’ve always known in and just accepted it about myself, but if magic can truly change something about you, then I want this part of me gone. Miss Ray, I want to be useful to someone else.”

“Harsh,” Ray says, whistling.

Ruri’s cheeks redden like apples. “But when I saw you fighting, Miss Ray, not just for your own sake but for others’ too, it gave me hope. It showed me that you can fight for someone and be of use to them, and that you can take care of what’s important to you. I … wonder if I could do the same thing. I wouldn’t be as good at it as you, but seeing you fight dragons and familiars has made me quite happy.

“That’s why, when I become a puella magi, my wish will already have been granted. My wish will be to become useful to other people, and I will achieve that through fighting those same dragons and familiars. Even someone like me can be useful to others … even someone like me was put in this dimension for a reason. I want to be like you, Miss Ray.”

Ruri holds her hand together, clasping them tightly in front of her chest as if she were praying for Ray’s blessing and praise and approval. However, Ray’s face only falls like a crumbling building, and her bangs hide the dark, bruising shadows around her eyes. Ray looks truly pitiful for a moment like a puppet with all her strings cut off. She hangs her head in shame.

“I’m not someone you should be looking up to.”

“… huh?”

Ray’s shoulders begin to shake.

“I’m not …” A muted sob. “Someone you should look up to, Ruri. I’m just not. To be honest, I’m really scared when I fight. I might not look like it, but deep down … I don’t want to do this. I’m older than you, so maybe that just makes it easier for me to hide it and for you to think I’m some cool, big sis mentor—but I’m not.”

Ruri opens her mouth to say something—anything—but then she hears it.

A sob.

Ray is crying.

“I don’t want to be a puella magi, and I don’t know why I was chosen to do this. There must have been a mistake, right? But maybe I’m just good at hiding it … but Ruri, truly, I’m so … lonely.”

Ruri reaches out and holds tightly to Ray’s hand. “I’m here.”

Slowly, Ray lifts her head. Her face is pink and tear-blotted, and both her eyes and nose are running. She sniffles quietly, and blinks her eyes once.

“Miss Ray, you can’t be alone forever because … well … I’ll be here. I’m here now, in fact. A-and I might not be reliable, I’m truly sorry about that, but I can be with you and fight in my own way. I’m not a true puella magi yet, but I’ll never leave your side.” Ruri twists their hands together, and tucks her pinkie finger around Ray’s.

“I promise.”

Ray lets out another sob, though this time it doesn't sound so sad. With her free hand she wipes away the tears on her face, and lets out a nervous laugh to try and ease away the sombre mood. “A mentor should never have her students console her,” Ray says with another laugh. “But please”—she squeezes Ruri’s hands—“never leave my side.”

“Of course.”

Ray swings their arms back and forth. “We’re a new puella magi duo,” she says. “We’re a team.”

Without even realising it, but feeling in deep within her heart, Ruri embraces Ray. She buries her face into Ray’s shoulder and leans her head into Ray’s cheek. Ray’s body is warm and comforting and safe, and even if they’re trapped in a barrier, in a place beyond Ruri’s wildest dreams and nightmares, if she’s with Ray then everything will be alright. 

Then Ray stiffens, and she draws herself back up to her royal, regal self. Ruri’s cheek slips off Ray’s shoulder, and she catches herself before she faceplants into the ground. When she raises her head, Ray has shaken herself up, and she stares ahead with a cold, steely gaze. Whatever they talked about previously has been swept from her mind. 

Ruri blinks. Had that conversation simply been a dream?

But then Ray steps forward, the clatter echoing off the patterned, glowing chamber, and says, “Let’s go.” Together, they descend deeper into the barrier.


	9. Nine

All too soon Ruri and Ray have to break away. Ruri hears Zarc’s voice inside her mind, and Ray must hear it too:  _ Hurry! The Grief Seed has started to move and it’s about to hatch soon! _

Ruri squeezes Ray’s shoulders tightly before she lets go, and for a moment longer Ray hangs herself by her ratty strings and rubs at her wet eyes. When she looks up though lava burns in her irises. She whips an arm out to the side and her bracelet jangles along her wrist. Colours pop and burst around her, forcing Ruri to shield her eyes. When she looks again, Ray is ready for battle and armed with a weapon. 

“Come on, Ruri! If the Grief Seed is hatching, there’s no point in being quiet anymore.”

Ray takes off, running through the hallway in her heels and dress. She makes it look like a piece of cake, skidding across the ground and cutting corners to get there faster and before the Grief Seed captures Yuzu and Zarc. Behind her, Ruri feels her breath coming in short, gasping pants. She can hardly keep up with Ray’s quick speed, but Ruri never loses sight of her.

_ Are you afraid?  _ Ruri wonders.  _ I hope not. Ray, you’re not alone anymore. _

Reflexively, Ruri opens and closes her hand. She’s never held a girl’s hand like that before, or hugged a girl so tightly. It was just an intimate moment for someone she’d barely met, and yet … it felt right. It felt like something she and Ray both needed. And though Ruri doesn’t know Ray as well as she knows Yuzu, there’s something she  _ gets  _ about Ray. Becoming a puella magi has thrust Ray in such a perilous world, and though Ruri may never understand the fear and anxiety Ray lives with, Ruri will do anything to stay by her side and help her.

_ I’ll be useful to you,  _ Ruri thinks. That’s all she can do right now.

The girls begin to descend deeper into the hospital. The hallways grow narrower, plastered with printed patterns that pop off the walls and ceiling like pages on a scrapbook. It’s like nothing Ruri has ever seen before—a world so different, so terrifying from the dimensions. The further they run, the more Ruri begins to worry that they’re travelling the wrong way.

Soon though, they make it into the dragon’s lair. Ruri knows it at once for she spots the shaking Grief Seed in the sky, bursting with thick, dark smog. She hears Yuzu scream, and Ruri calls out to Yuzu and Zarc.

“You made it,” Yuzu says, relief flooding over her face.

Ray pulls out her gun, pointing it at the Grief Seed. “Behind me, girls,” she says. Then she aims her gun at the Seed and shoots just as a small, doll-like head pops out of the top. It looks like a baby doll, the kind a young child might carry under their arm. Once the ribbons wrap around it though its head expands like a balloon and its button eyes droop down its face.

Ruri brings a hand to her lips. That’s … a dragon? It looks nothing like a dragon!

In front of them, Ray pumps a fist towards the ceiling. “Caught it! Sorry, bud, but you’re weakest when you’ve just hatched—”

The dragon squirms side to side, wrestling against the ribbons. Its head keeps blowing up and deflating like a balloon, but it can’t seem to get free. Dark stains appear under its eyes, and it lets out a shrill, heart-shocking scream that echoes around the room. Everyone brings their hands to their ears, wincing at the terrible, unearthly noise.

“Make it stop!” Yuzu screams.

The ribbons tighten around the dragon’s neck. Its head grows—first to the size of a beach ball, then a car tire, then a water wheel. It lolls back and forth, always growing. Ray steps back, holding out her arm should the dragon try to go after the girls.

And then the dragon opens its mouth. A nasty, snake-like face pops through, first the nose, then the eyes, coming through the dragon’s mouth and taking its long, slimy body out with it. The dragon groans in protest, and as if it’s shedding its skin the first dragon drops to the ground like a ragdoll. The second one shoots right up towards the ceiling and then peers down at the three girls huddled together on the ground, with Ray at the front.

Ruri’s blood runs cold.

“R—” she begins, and whatever word she meant to say is drowned out by a  _ whoosh! _

The dragon lungs at Ray.

Ruri closes her eyes, but she hears it—the sound of jaws snapping together, and the sound of Ray’s neck snapping. Ruri gags loudly, eyes flicking open. The dragon has its mouth over Ray’s head, holding her several inches off the ground by her  _ neck.  _ The dragon whips Ray’s body around, until it cleanly bites off her head and lets the body drop to the floor.

No.

“No!” Ruri screams, dashing forward.

The dragon lunges again at Ray’s body. It snaps at her arm next, ripping it clean off. Blood shoots across the ground, dripping down the dragons gnarly lips and pointed teeth. It keeps tearing at the corpse, pulling off the limbs as easily as it were plucking stray hairs. 

And Ruri can’t breathe. 

Her throat closes right up, and she chokes and gags and tries to scream all at once. She can’t even find the strength within her to close her eyes, though the tears in her eyes make it so impossible that she shouldn’t be able to see anything, but she can  _ hear  _ the sound of Ray’s bones snapping and the dragon tearing into her corpse, and—

_ No.  _

Someone yanks at her shoulder.

_ Ruri, run!  _ Zarc says.

Someone yanks harder.

“Ruri, run!”

But she can’t. She said … she said she’d stay with Ray, one of the most beautiful girls she’s ever seen. Ray was a girl not much older than her fighting for her life and dreams and  _ damn it why did she have to die, why was it her, why couldn’t Ruri do anything about it, and why can’t she do anything about it  _ now—

“Ruri, let’s go!” Yuzu pulls at her arms and shoulders, yanking her across the tile. “We have to go, we have to run! Now! Ruri,  _ help me!” _

Ruri doesn’t even register that Yuzu is speaking to her. She’s gone numb, her soul shot from her body and probably travelling through the cosmos to a timeline where this terrible event never happened, where Ray could have lived happily, where  _ Ruri  _ could have lived happily. How could this have happened? Where did they go wrong? Where did Ruri go wrong?

_ It’s all my fault. _

Her head lolls forward, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

_ Ruri. _

That’s her name, isn’t it? Who’s asking? Why does it matter?

_ Ruri. Yuzu. If you want to live, make a contract with me. _

Zarc. He’s … speaking to her. Blearily, Ray glances up. Zarc is ahead of her, though he sounds like he’s behind her too. Where’s Yuzu too? Ruri tries to re-orient herself, bring herself back to reality, but every time she hears the snap of a bone or the rip of flesh from body, Ruri’s stomach jolts and her soul disappears, and she reacquaints herself with the painful truth of reality.

Zarc tugs her right back though:  _ Decide on your wishes now and make a contract with me! _

How can she think of that now? It’s too late to save anyone—they’ll both die, and Ray is already dead. Who is there to live for? Who can Ruri protect? It’s already her fault for bringing Ray here and putting her in such danger.

_ Ruri!  _ Zarc screams.

“There’s no need for that.”

Like a knight in shining armor, Serena appears. She steps through the thick fog, heels clicking on the ground. Her gown rustles along her legs, hair bouncing on her shoulders and back. For a moment, Ruri can actually see the sight in front of her, and Serena looks like hope. She shines brighter than a diamond sword and sharper than both of them. Ruri feels a gasp bubble up inside of her, but her dry, achy throat can’t even make a sound.

“I’ll defeat it.”

Serena throws her hand out, and on her arm appears a thick shield inlaid with several cogs and screws. It looks highly archaic and might have once belonged in a history museum, but just when Ruri’s opinions can unfold does Serena throw something else at it and the snake-like dragon burst into flames. Its cries bounce over the bloody, patterned walls of the room, and Ruri throws her hands over her ears.

Serena throws another flare. It explodes on contact, sending the dragon to the ground where it writhes in pain over the remains of Ray’s body. Blood coats its sleek, white skin, All too quickly though its cries die down to pained gasps, and when Serena turns around the dragon is silent. The only noise in the room is the sound of Serena’s feet on the linoleum, and the sounds of Ruri and Yuzu’s sobs.

The dragon is dead.

And Ray …

Ruri leans over her knees and heaves. She can’t vomit, her stomach twisted in far too many knots and her throat far too dry, but she keeps heaving until salty tears sting her eyes and cheeks. Her very  _ being  _ hurts. She can’t even bring herself to take a gulp of smoky air, too focused on keeping herself upright and alive and—

She chokes, coughing into her hand. To her side, Yuzu buries her face in her hand and cries loudly. Yuzu is a strong girl, and she cries just as loudly as Ruri does. They’re both hurting. What happened here—how? Why? Nowhere what this meant to happen.

Serena’s shield has disappeared, and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Burn this into your memories,” she growls. “This is what it means to be a puella magi.”

Ruri truly wants to disagree because this can’t be true; this can’t be the outcome of thousands and millions of puella magi. Ray was fifteen years old—too young to die, too young to fight. How could she risk her life? How could she fight knowing that the dragon could kill her? Ruri hadn’t thought this could ever happen. 

Serena glances over her shoulder, back to where Ray’s and the dragon’s corpses lie. The dragon has disintegrated into a puddle of ick, and Ray’s body … isn’t even there. It’s been eaten, and all that remains is a horrific puddle of blood mingled with whatever the dragon left behind. However, even with her hazy, drippy eyes, Ruri sees something sticking up from a puddle, and Serena spots it too.

A Grief Seed.

“Se—”

“Give it back.” Yuzu’s voice holds such a hollow, raspy note that Ruri doesn't even recognise it belongs to her.

Serena looks up, eyes narrowed.

“Give it back,” Yuzu repeats. 

Serena closes her fist around it.

It happens in such a flash—Yuzu throws herself forward, springing on her athletic legs, and reaches out for the Grief Seed. Serena is equally fast though, and she pushes Yuzu back down to the ground, holding the Grief Seed away from her like a game of keepaway.

“That’s Ray’s!” Yuzu says, voice bubbling. “Give it  _ back.” _

“Ray is  _ dead,”  _ Serena says. “And this here”—she holds it between her thumb and forefinger, blood dripping down the Seed and her pale fingers—“is only for puella magi. You don’t have any right to touch it, Hiiragi.”

Yuzu doesn’t move.

Ruri can’t. Her legs feel like lead and her head hurts and her eyes burn. Everything feels wrong all at once. She’s  _ helpless _ like a baby. She’s stupid. She’s weak. She’s a terrible friend. She’s a terrible person—

“You couldn’t have done anything anyways,” Serena says. “Be grateful you’re still alive.”

“But you could have!” Yuzu says, voice cracking on a sob. “You could have saved her, couldn’t you? You were here—”

“I couldn’t have,” Serena says, “nor would I have wanted to.”

Ruri feels her world crack and break underneath her. Serena’s heels clip-clop on the ground away from them, and she doesn’t even see Serena go with her head bowed. Now that the dragon has been defeated, the world has gone back to normal, only to Ruri it still feels like she’s in an alternate dimension. The walls fade away to a blue sky—they’re out of the hospital. No blood, no monsters, no corpses. There’s just the ground and the sky on either side of them.

Ruri has never felt lonelier than she does right now.

“Damn,” Zarc says aloud, flicking his tail back and forth. 

Ruri doesn’t even know what that means. What does it mean to be a puella magi? What does it mean to make a wish?

_ I don’t understand anything—neither what wishing for a miracle means nor what has to be done in return. _


	10. Ten

“Ruri.” A tap on her shoulder. 

Ruri flinches, eyes watering. She bows her head, teeth worry at her lip.

“Ruri?” Shun shakes her shoulder, this time a bit more firmly, and Ruri senses a note of panic in his voice. “Hey, you’ll be late if you keep lollygagging like that.”

Slowly, she nods. Swallows. Takes a bite of food, but it’s sticky and slimy in all the wrong ways, and she nearly chokes when her stomach threatens to heave. Still, she chews the bite, ignoring how tears have begun to fall down her cheeks and her chest has begun to rise and fall in an irregular, unsteady rhythm. She’s … trying not to cry. She is, but she’s failing.

“Hey,” Shun says, and this time he spins her around so he can see her properly. Ruri’s not sure what shape she’s in, though she reckons she looks terrible judging by how Shun gasps, the air whooshing out of his lungs, and his eyebrows pinch together in the middle of his forehead. “Hey, hey there—what’s wrong? Ruri, what’s got you down?”

Ruri shakes her head. She goes to take another bite, but Shun takes her by the wrist and brings her hand down. 

“Ruri, hey—what’s going on?”

“N-nothing,” she says, forcing a smile. It doesn’t even work. She feels a sob bubble up in her throat, and it makes its way through her lips—just a whimper, such a small sound that it shouldn’t echo in her ears and all through the room. Gods, the whole world must’ve heard her. Shun  _ clearly  _ heard her, and his face goes white as a ghost.

“No, no—Ruri, talk to me,  _ please— _ ”

“I’m fine,” Ruri says, struggling to keep her voice even and clear. “I’m sorry … I’m just …” She sniffles hard, and reaches across the table for a napkin to dab at her eyes and nose. Her hands shake uncontrollably, and her fingers fumble on the soft fabric as she brings it to her face. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing, it’s just—”

She can’t finish those words. Last night, she came home, alone, without a single injury on her. But she hurt though, nearly tumbling into the walls as she struggled to make it to her bed. How did she even live with herself that night? How can she live with herself now? She—she let her friend  _ die!  _ And she got to live on, damn her! Ruri chokes back a sob, pushing the cloth against her lips. How dare she be so selfish, so useless!

Shun’s hands tighten on her shoulders, and it reminds her of her and Ray’s last embrace. Ray used to squeeze her shoulders too, and joke with her, and take care of her. Who took care of Ray though? Who made sure she was safe? No one. As a puella magi, she was supposed to give up her  _ life  _ for the protection of others. 

_ That’s too cruel,  _ Ruri thinks. 

But then here she is sobbing over it, being even more useless and childish. She can’t even answer her own brother, too wrapped up in her own self-misery—

Ruri snatches up her chopsticks and shoves another bite of food in her mouth. She chews even when her stomach clenches up, and she holds herself steady at the table. Shun still has a hand on her shoulder; his chair is closer to hers, and he leans on the table with that same worried, hesitant expression, like she’s made of glass and she’ll break at any moment.

“Thank you,” Ruri says, “f-for the food.”

Shun rubs his thumb against her shoulder. “You can tell me what’s wrong, all right?”

Ruri nods, swallowing back another sob. “I’m glad I’m here … and alive … so I can taste your delicious cooking.”

Shun’s eyebrows rise up into her hair, and he opens his mouth as if to say something—and then shuts it, perhaps out of fear that it’ll crack and break her. So he doesn’t say anything, and Ruri is glad. He keeps his hand on her shoulder for a moment longer, and then gives it a light squeeze before he returns to his own breakfast. Ruri misses the touch at once and she feels tears bubble around her eyes.

For the rest of the meal, neither of them say anything. They dine in the silence punctuated by the clink of their chopsticks on their plates, and when Ruri’s done she silently excuses herself from the table and heads towards the bathroom. She left her hair done up last night, too exhausted and upset to bother to do anything but drop down on the bed, so now her hair sticks up like a crow’s nest. 

Ruri makes it to the bathroom before she bursts into tears. Hurriedly, she washes her face, rubbing away the tears and the snot and any and all of the pain, but she just keeps crying with her face under the water. When she peers at herself in the mirror, she doesn’t even recognise herself. She looks haunted, as though she hasn’t slept in eons. She feels like it too. In fact, she feels like she isn’t even here and that she’s floating outside of her body. 

Just as she finishes cleaning up, Shun comes round and spots her fiddling with her tangled hair. Ruri doesn’t even have the energy to fix it, but she can’t go to school with messy hair. She spots Shun in the mirror though, but she doesn’t say anything when he carefully takes her hands away and begins braiding the strands together, tying them up at the base of her neck in a strange, bun-like creation. 

“You can tell me, honestly,” Shun says. “I’m not going to push you, but …”

_ I’m here.  _ Ruri knows he wants to say that, and she wants him to say it too. She wants to be there for someone too, but the last time that happened … How could she have helped? She should have never brought Ray along in the first place. They were in danger right from the start and Ruri never knew it—and when she did know it, she thought everything would turn out all right in the end. She was so wrong.

Ruri heaves a great sigh.

“Thank you,” she says. Her voice is snatched up by the breeze, but perhaps Shun still heard her. 

Once her hair is done up, Ruri slips on her school uniform and packs her bag. She catches Shun watching her from the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t say anything and never pushes her for more information. Her brother knows his boundaries, and he must know that she will only tell him if she’s ready. Besides, would her brother truly believe what’s going on? Would her brother believe in puella magi and dragons and—

Zarc.

Ruri glances around. Zarc never came home with her last night, and she hasn’t seen him all morning. He must be with other puella magi, or maybe …

Another death.

_ Does it happen often?  _ Ruri wonders. How many girls have died fighting dragons?

The thought stays with her all through the morning. Ruri doesn’t even recognise when she leaves the house, or when she walks to school. When Mieru bumps shoulders with her, Ruri nearly stumbles into a wall. Yuzu is the same way though—hollow-minded and dark-eyed, and with such a forlorn expression that Mieru stops pestering them when neither of them answer her questions. She must sense something is up too, something bigger than even a heart-to-heart conversation.

Ruri’s not even sure how she  _ can  _ talk about it.

All through class her mind drifts elsewhere. When she closes her eyes she sees Ray’s face, her smile, and it nearly sends Ruri into a panic attack on multiple occasions. When Serena enters the class, Ruri feels her expression harden. She shouldn’t be mad at Serena for it’s because of her that Ruri and Yuzu are still alive and escaped the barrier, but … Still.

Serena couldn’t have helped them, but what she said, what she did … It just makes no sense and it  _ hurts.  _ None of this makes sense, in fact, and the more Ruri thinks about it the more her heart burns and her head aches and she feels like throwing up and falling asleep.

At lunch time, Yuzu hops out of her desk and takes Ruri by the hand. Ruri doesn’t even register the contact at first, not until Yuzu pulls her out of her seat and leads her out the classroom doors and into the hallway.

“Where—”

“Roof,” Yuzu says. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

Ruri nods mutely. They travel in an awkward silence swallowed up by the hundreds of students all heading to class. Ruri weaves through the crowds, sticking close to Yuzu and following the back of her bobbing, pink head. Eventually, the crowd disperses closer to the stairwell, and Yuzu and Ruri climb what feels like a million stairs up to the double-doors leading out onto the rooftop. It’s quiet out here, and since it’s a rather overcast, threatening-to-rain kind of day, no one else has come up to eat their lunch either.

Still holding hands, Yuzu leads Ruri to the side of the fence. They both sit down on the ground, back to the wall. Yuzu has brought her lunch, but she doesn’t open it; Ruri didn’t even pack a lunch, too ill to even think about eating. 

Then Yuzu topples over, head nestled into Ruri’s shoulder. The sudden contact surprises Ruri, but Yuzu doesn’t move. She lies still, head moving with each of Ruri’s breaths.

“Hey, Ruri.”

“Hm?”

“Do you still … think about becoming a puella magi?”

Ruri doesn't answer.

“… I thought so.”

Ruri hears a flutter of something behind her, and then Zarc is  _ before  _ her, licking his toes with his small, pink tongue. His green eyes open and close at them, and then he smiles and settles down.

“I thought I’d find you up here.”

Ruri doesn’t move. She desperately wants to ask Zarc if another girl has died, or if another girl has made a contract. She wants to know  _ more  _ about puella magi, but she also knows that any answers she gets will only upset her more. She won’t get the answers she wants—that much is clear.

Still resting her head against Ruri’s shoulder, Yuzu asks, “Zarc, what happens now?”

“Hm?” the dragon says, leaning its head to the side.

“Well, Ray once told us that she was protecting everyone here from the dragons, but now …” She leaves the words hanging, though the meaning is still there. Ruri understands too: what happens to the city now that Ray, its saviour puella magi, is dead?

Zarc shrugs. “This was originally Ray’s territory, but now that she’s dead other puella magi will flock here and try to claim this land. It’s not that hard to fill that spot, actually. After all, puella magi will come here not only to fight dragons, but to earn Grief Seeds. Not having to compete with a seasoned puella magi will make this spot a hit.”

Ruri shivers. Puella magi will  _ fight  _ for this land? But aren’t they all on the same team?

“Then again,” Zarc says, bouncing on his feet, “that transfer student, Serena, is here right now. Maybe she’ll claim the spot for her own.”

Ruri nods, feeling her mind grow hazy with thoughts of Ray—her fighting, her laughter, her smile. Tears bubble up in Ruri’s eyes. “Yuzu,” she whispers, “last night, before—before  _ that,  _ I made a promise with Miss Ray. I told her that I would become a puella magi with her, and that we’d be a team, and—”

Yuzu lifts her head. “Ruri … you made a contract?”

Ruri shakes her head, teeth in her lip. “I-if I had, I could have protected her, and saved her, but now—” Tumbling forward, Ruri lets out a small, pitiful sob into her knees. Yuzu’s head slips down, but she doesn’t pull herself back up. 

“Now I can’t!” Ruri bawls. “I can’t—I can’t make that contract, or keep that promise, because … because I don’t want to die like that. And that’s so unfair and selfish and weak, and I’m all of those things and more, b-but—” Ruri coughs as a sob takes hold of her. “I can’t fight dragons, no, I can’t, and I can’t be a puella magi.”

Yuzu’s strong arms come around her shoulders. “I get that—”

“But I told Ray—”

“And I bet she’d understand.” Yuzu sniffles, burying her face into Ruri’s back. “Ray understands, and I understand, and no one would make a contract like that so easily.” Yuzu lifts her head and narrows her eyes at where Zarc sits, tail curled around his feet, looking wholly innocent. His ears drop slightly, but then he smiles and swishes his tail back and forth, in and out.

“I might not understand,” Zarc says, “but I can’t force you into a contract. You have to choose it all on your own, just like your wish. But I can’t stay around forever.”

“You’re leaving then?” Yuzu says.

Zarc nods his head. “There are other girls out there who want to become puella magi and have their wishes come true.”

Ruri nods, but she doesn’t even hear the words Zarc is saying. 

“So … this is goodbye then, Ruri. Thank you for taking good care of me at your place. Our time together was short but fun. Still … thank you.” Zarc dips his head, and then turns around and disappears in plain sight. Ruri sees him go through a part in her bangs, but then she buries her head back into her knees and sobs. She can’t do anything right, can she? No, not now and not ever. 

Once more, the day blurs past her eyes. Ruri remembers sitting at her seat and being in class and leaving class, but her life feels like she’s watching it rather than experiencing it. She’s a passenger in her own life, unable to control even the simplest, smallest steps. It’s no surprise then when the wool is lifted from her eyes and she finds herself standing in front of a lofty, luxurious building—condos scratching the very sky, decorated with windows and mirrors that show her pale, haggard reflection.

Ruri swallows. 

Ray’s apartment building seems to suck up the darkness and despair, plastering it across the black mirrored walls. It’s eerily quiet too, even though the train is nearby and people are walking up and down the streets and the world is still moving. Ray’s apartment feels like it’s in an alternate dimension, one devoid of all life. There is no color on the walls, no light coming from the moon or the stars. Ruri walks through the door unsure of how she can even see anything, or how she knows where she’s going.

Somehow though she finds Ray’s room. She finds the door, unlocked, and opens it. The room is monochrome, not a single colour, not a single light. There’s a cup of tea and a notebook sitting on the coffee table, but when Ruri flips through the pages she just finds Ray’s school notes. There’s nothing off about the apartment even though Ruri feels a cold sweat drip down her back. Could Ray truly be gone? Who else knew about her?

Ruri glances down at the table. It wasn’t all that long ago that Ray invited her and Yuzu over, and all three of them had tea together. They sat at this table and chatted, and talked about what it might be like to become a magical girl. At the time, Ray had sounded so excited for them. Was she scared though? Did she hesitate in asking others to take on the same burden as her? Or was she looking for someone to share her pain with, someone to trust and depend on even for a moment? There was no way Ruri could have saved her, no matter how hard she thinks back to that terrible time, but perhaps Ray was thinking ahead, recruiting, building a team—

A sob bubbles up in Ruri’s throat.

_ Miss Ray, you were so, so alone. You lived by yourself, without your family, with barely any friends. _

Through her tears, Ruri looks around the walls. There isn’t a single picture of Ray or her family here, as if the girl disappeared from the very fabric of time. Most likely Ray wasn’t in contact with anyone, and since there was no body … 

She’ll never be found.

Another sob.

The silence swallows her up for a moment, choking at her throat. Ruri breaks with her creaky words, crying out, “I’m sorry, Ray!” Her voice is but a whisper, but she tries again: “I’m sorry … for being weak. I am, honestly! I didn’t know you were hurting back then, and I let you—I let you go there, attack that dragon, and you—you  _ died!  _ You died, Miss Ray, and it’s not my fault but whose else is it?”

Ruri falls to her knees, sobbing into the plush carpet. “You should hate me—it should have been me—but I  _ can’t  _ avenge you, I’m too weak, and—and there’s nothing else I can do. I’m sorry—”

“Ruri.”

Ruri startles so quickly, spinning around, looking for the voice. She knows who it is though—Serena’s voice is a blade sharper than diamonds that cuts through the silence. She stands in the doorway, dressed in her school uniform. Ruri wonders if Serena followed her here, and if so what she wants. What  _ could  _ Serena want? Zarc has disappeared, Ray is dead—there is no one for Serena to target, not really.

“Se-serena?” Ruri whispers.

“There’s no need to blame yourself, you know.” Serena touches a hand to the door, holding herself in the doorway. “After all, Ray made the contract to become a puella magi and fight dragons. She knew the risks.”

“She—she didn’t have a choice though,” Ruri says. “She would have died—”

“She had a  _ choice,”  _ Serena says, “and she got her wish. You can’t blame her for wanting what she couldn’t have, but …” Serena steps forward, hair swishing behind her. “I am glad, Ruri, that you have heeded my warning.”

“My …” Oh, that warning. Ruri knows those words, even though it pains her to think of how selfish that might be. She curls herself up, tucking her chin between her knees and bringing her legs up towards her chest. “I … wish I could have helped Miss Ray though, even though what you said …”

Serena’s eyes flash. “That wouldn’t have changed anything. Ray’s destiny was predetermined, and she would have died sooner or later.”

“How cruel,” Ruri says, more to herself that to Serena. She shivers on the floor, not meeting Serena’s eyes. There is nothing to fear about Serena, but Ruri still feels afraid in her presence. She wants to get to know Serena, but that’s equivalent to looking for a needle in a haystack. How can she get to know someone so mysterious, so closed off?

Serena kneels down in front of her, cupping her face in one hand. “Stop thinking that Ray could have been saved. She was always going to die.”

Ruri dips her head into her knees, muffling a sob. “No …”

“I am glad though,” Serena continues, voice taking on a wistful note, “that I could save even a single person though.”

Those words hold more power than even Ruri can imagine, but she raises her head nonetheless. The side of Serena’s face is illuminated by the moonlight that has slipped through a crack in the blinds. Like looking into a green glass bottle, Serena’s eyes glow a verdant green. She looks like a cat caught in a stagelight. Ruri feels her heart skip a bit, and something within her pushes her lips to say something in the moment.

“Serena.”

“Hm?” she says back, not meeting Ruri’s eyes.

“Well, this might be a bit forward … and I don’t even know if I want to hear the answer, but …” Ruri swallows, rolling her cheek against her bony knees. “I can’t get Ray out of my head … her death, I mean. And maybe because you’ve fought before you would know how, but …”

“You’re rambling,” Serena says.

“Sorry!” Ruri says, stumbling over the word and sending her into a panic. “It’s just—have you ever seen someone die before?”

“Huh?” Serena looks at her, eyes narrowed. The moon has lost its chance at caressing her cheeks, and now stretches her shadow far behind her. 

“Sorry, that’s so insensitive, and of course you have seen someone, you’re probably better at this than me.” Ruri buries her face back into her knees, letting out a heavy, choked sigh. “I just … I see Ray in my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about her, both before and after that. And I just want to know … do you see people die countless times?”

Ruri doesn’t expect an answer. She’s blabbered on and on, filled up the silence with her pitiful, useless words. Serena probably isn’t even listening to her either, and probably wishing that she never came here in the first place. Ruri would.

But Serena sighs against her hand and says, “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Ruri ventures.

“I have … seen people die.”

For one fleeting second, Ruri feels a sense of connection in her heart. There’s someone out there who has seen death, someone who knows what it’s like to float through the world, to lose someone precious. Ruri hasn’t even know Ray all that long, but still the girl sticks out like a beacon of hope on a dark, stormy night. Even if Ruri barely knew Ray, her upperclassmen meant something to her.

“If I tried to count all the times I’ve seen someone die … I’d want to give up.”

Ruri looks up. Serena still hasn’t met her eyes, but her faraway expression tells Ruri that Serena is thinking about the past. Ruri knows better than to ask after it, and she even feels too exhausted and upset to think about what to say.

So Ruri asks, “What will happen to Ray?”

“Hm?” 

“She’s a student … and she lives here …”

“She’ll be considered missing.” Serena hikes herself up to her feet and stretches her arms above her head. “She didn’t have many friends, and no close family either. Eventually someone will notice she’s away and go looking for her, but they won’t find a body or a note or any sign of her, so she’ll be declared as missing. You hear it on the news sometimes, don’t you—girls who’ve run away from home, girls who’ve gone missing after school. It’s often those stories that are the last pieces of evidence of puella magi.”

Ruir brings a hand to her lips. “How awful …”

“That’s just how it is.” Serena shrugs her shoulders, up and down, like she’s shaking the weight off her body. “It’s not like Ray didn’t know of that when she came with you. She was well-aware what would happen when she died, and she still took that risk. Puella magi are fighters—”

“B-but—but who fights for them?”

Serena laughs.

“I’m serious, Serena.” Ruri knows that if she tries to stand she’ll only tumble to the floor, but she lifts her head at least. “Who fights for puella magi? Zarc said that other puella magi will come here and claim Ray’s territory, as if you all aren’t on the same team fighting the same enemy—but shouldn’t you be? Shouldn’t you be—”

“No.”

Ruri clamps her lips shut, fighting back the tears dripping down her pasty cheeks.

“No,” Serena says with such vigour that she nearly spits the words onto the ground. 

“Why?” Ruri’s voice cracks. “Miss Ray was always fighting for others. She took on so much—why couldn’t anyone else help her?”

“Her wish was only for her.” Serena smiles grimly at her. “You think that being a puella magi is a choice to protect humanity, but really a wish is only there to fuel your deepest personal desires. Girls like me and Ray selfishly wished, and we made a contract to protect those wishes—”

“But—”

“Besides, who else cares about your wish?” Serena clenches her fists together, now looking more real. Ruri feels her emotions begin to choke the silence out of the room, and sparks of colour appear in the corners of her vision—reds and blues and greens, but especially deep, royal purples. 

“Who else cares about you, or will remember you?” Serena continues. “No one will remember Ray, not now or not ever. Her name won’t go down in history, and she has no family or friends—”

“You’re wrong,” Ruri interrupts. “You’re wrong because … I’m Ray’s friend … and I’ll never forget her.”

Serena sniffs. “How endearing.”

“It’s true.”

“I’m sure Akaba Ray would appreciate that then.” Serena crosses her arms. Ruri sees her lips move again, and Serena says something so quietly to the floor that Ruri wonders if it was a trick of light and sound.

_ “I’m jealous.” _

Serena … is jealous?

But instead of thinking on it, Ruri says something back, something she can scarcely believe could come from her own mouth: “I won’t forget you either, Serena.” But then she keeps talking like the blubbering fool that she is, and she strings her disconnected thoughts and feelings together and dumps them over the silence. “I won’t forget how you came to my rescue yesterday, and how you saved me. I’ll never forget that either, don’t worry—”

“There’s no way you’d remember …”

“I do,” Ruri says, clenching her fists. “I wish I told Ray that, I do, I do—but I can tell you—”

“Stop.” Serena’s words catch in her throat like rusted nails. “Stop … Ruri.”

Ruri does, but just long enough for her to collect her thoughts. What does Serena mean by that? Of course she remembers yesterday—it’s burnt into her memory, never to leave her. How could Ruri forget that day …?

_ Tap-tap-tap— _

Serena’s feet smack against the hardwood flooring of Ray’s home. Her retreating figure casts a long, dark shadow across the ground. 

“Hey, where are you—”

“Goodbye,” Serena says, and slams the door closed behind her.

The room falls into absolute darkness. Not even the moon can pass through the blinds now. Ruri stays on the floor, one hand pressed to her heart and the other to her lips. Every part of her body aches with new and old pains, as if she’s tumbled through the galaxy and hit every bump along the way. She can’t let out the feelings though, can’t even cry or scream. The silence has swallowed her up once more.

_ I’m all alone. _


	11. Eleven

Yuzu peeks around the corner of the doorway. Yuuya is sitting up in his bed today, gazing ahead at the blank, white wall. He really should have more decorations in the room, something to look at besides the usual drab interior. Yet Yuzu waits in the doorway for a moment, hoping he’ll spot her and smile, or make a face, or do anything. 

To her surprise though, Yuuya doesn’t even move. He stares straight ahead like a stone statue, red eyes hazy with exhaustion or depression. Yuuya looks thinner too, probably not eating again. Even from her spot across the room Yuzu can see the jagged juts of his jaw and the way his hospital gown hangs off his bony shoulders. His breaths are gentle puffs, but it still seems to take it out of him to even  _ exist.  _ He can’t have gotten so weak, and yet …

Yuzu knows Yuuya isn’t getting better. The longer he stays here, the sicker he becomes. Being trapped in the hospital is only making him worse, dragging down his health and mood until he’s only a shell of himself. Already Yuzu can see the light fading from his eyes and his will to survive diminishing. How much longer can Yuuya truly stand to be here?

Yuzu shakes her head though. She can’t have such dark and dreary thoughts—those won’t help Yuuya in the slightest. She needs to be strong for him. She needs to keep rooting for him, even when he can’t root in himself. She’ll smile for him until he can smile on his own, and it doesn’t matter if that takes two days, two weeks, two months, or even two  _ years. _

With a huff, Yuzu steps around the corner and claps her hands. “Hey, daydreamer,” she says.

Slowly, Yuuya’s eyes roll towards her. His lips twist, but it takes him a second to mumble out a greeting: “Hey.”

Her heart clenches painfully in her chest. Even Yuuya’s voice sounds weak, as if he hasn’t used it in a while. It’s been a couple days since she last saw him—has he spoken to anyone since then? His mother is often here, though she works to pay the expensive hospital bills that have accumulated from Yuuya’s injury and treatment. Other than his mother and Yuzu, it’s unlikely anyone else comes to see Yuuya. Does he talk to the doctors at least, or does he lie around and let them do their work?

Yuzu catches herself before she thinks too deeply and darkly. It’ll do her no good to get caught up in those depressing thoughts. She needs to be strong for Yuuya.

She skips across the room, forcing a spring in her step, and sits down on the edge of the bed. The sheets are scratchy against her bare legs, and the mattress seems firmer than usual. Yuzu wonders how comfortable Yuuya must be in this cot, day in and day out never leaving his room. If she were here, she’d go mad—

“Yuuya,” she says quickly, filling the silence with the music of her own voice, “how are you?”

“Fine.”

Yuzu forces a smile. “I brought you another CD to listen too, one from a broadway in New York. I know that’s far away, and neither of us even know the language or what it means, but the tune is catchy enough that we can get caught up in the beat.”

“Hm.”

Yuzu continues: “And hey, maybe if we play it enough times, like on a loop, we’ll memorise the lyrics and be able to sing them.”

This time, Yuuya doesn’t say anything. His front teeth sink into his lip, and he hunches forward so that his long bangs hang in front of his eyes. Yuzu watches him slump forward as if the strings holding his body upright have begun to stretch and snap; soon he’ll have just one string left, one landline keeping him in reality.

Yuzu leans forward, cupping her face in her hands. “You’re really quiet today—”

“Stop.”

She blinks. “Huh?”

“Just … stop.” Yuuya crunches forward, bringing his hands up to his head. His fingers fall short of what they’re looking for though—his goggles which were taken from him when he was first admitted. He tugs at the tops of his bangs, and then pulls them down further over his eyes as if that might help him process. Yuzu glances down at her hands worriedly. She can’t fix this, she knows she can’t, but it hurts her to see him hurting.

“Stop,” Yuuya says again, voice cracking over the single word. “It hurts.”

“What hurts?” Yuzu says. “Yuuya, do you need medicine—”

“No,” he snaps, flatting himself over his legs, tugging harder at his hair. “No, no—”

“Yuuya—”

“Stop!” he screams at her. “Stop acting like it’s going to be OK, Yuzu! Stop acting like things are going to work out, like someday I’m going to walk myself out of this room and go back to the duel school! Stop holding onto that stupid,  _ stupid  _ hope that life will ever work out for me because it  _ won’t!” _

Yuzu brings her hands to her mouth only so that Yuuya doesn’t hear the ungodly, choking sob that bubbles up in her throat. She can’t be weak before Yuuya, and she wants to show him that she’s still clinging to hope—

“Cry, why don’t you?” Yuuya says, his own eyes filling with tears and pouring down his hollow cheeks. “Give up with me because it  _ hurts  _ when you come in thinking that I can just move on. It hurts me, damn it—Yuzu, stop!” He shrieks into his hands, a banshee cry that echoes in Yuzu’s ringing ears.

She screams too—just one note, just like him, a song so mournful and painful. She doesn’t even think Yuuya hears her cries, or sees her tears. He’s fallen over himself, sobbing uncontrollably. His hands tug at his hair, and at times come away with small chunks of red and green strands that he chucks to the ground. Then he pulls at his neck, looking for the pendulum he always wore as a child, and another precious item that was taken from him when he went into care.

“Yuuya,” Yuzu says, reaching for his hand. If he keeps tugging and scratching at himself, there’s no doubt he’ll hurt himself.

The moment their hands connect, Yuuya screams louder than Yuzu has ever heard him. He swings a hand at her, probably meaning to push her away; however, not only does he succeed in hitting her, but also colliding his hand with the corner of the side table. He doesn’t scream that time though, just whimpers through his clenched teeth. 

Yuzu sees though—she sees blood.

“Yuuya, stop,” she says, but she doesn’t reach for him. Every fiber of her being tells her to coddle and squeeze him, but that will only make things worse, she knows it. If she reaches for him, he’ll swing again. He’ll alert the nurses too—no doubt they’ve already heard the noise and might come to check up on him.

Through his teeth, Yuuya begins talking rapidly, stumbling over his words as if he’s chasing them out of his system: “Everyone is saying I should give up, and they’re thinking it too. I’m only beating myself up for wanting to get better, don’t you know that? No one has hope for me, and they’re stupid if they think so. There are no miracles out there, Yuzu, none that the doctors or my mom or even you can think of. You can’t just smile and push through because sometimes the world doesn’t work in your favour, and sometimes there are consequences, and—”

“Yuuya …”

His body falls against hers. His forehead hits her head in a position that must be uncomfortable for him, but he doesn’t move and Yuzu doesn’t either. She feels him sigh, his breath ghosting her cheek, and he says, “Why don’t you just give up on me too? Stop believing in magic and fairy tales and clinging to a hope that everyone has already lost. You’re only hurting me too, and I wish—I wish you would just listen to me—”

“I am,” Yuzu says, “but those miracles exist—”

“You’re ridiculous.”

The words bounce right off her. Yuzu clenches her hands in fists, holding them tight to her chest. “Miracles and magic exist,” Yuzu says again, “but don’t worry if you don’t believe me …” She swallows hard.  _ Because only I have the power to make the wish for you.  _

Carefully, Yuzu releases a breath she’s been holding in. She keeps breathing, letting her body rise and fall in a gentle, steady rhythm. Eventually, she feels herself relax, and above her Yuuya lets his head roll more towards her shoulder. Yuzu scooches closer towards him, and he adjusts himself so he can cuddle against her shoulder. Yuzu worries about jostling his body, but Yuuya moves as if he’s experienced with his injuries.

“You can’t make miracles,” he says.

_ I can,  _ Yuzu thinks.

She buries her face into his shoulder. She tries to imagine what Yuuya was like back then, and what he could be like now. If her wish came true—and it would—Yuuya could walk again. He could become an entertainer and his dreams would come true too. It wouldn’t be a selfish goal at all—it would be for Yuuya only. If Yuzu made his dreams come true, no longer would either of them feel pain. And as scary as becoming a magical girl sounds, the more Yuzu thinks about it, the more she convinces herself that the sacrifice would be worth it.

* * *

Ruri shivers deeper into her jacket, tugging her collar high up on her neck. Though the street is heavily blocked with people, Ruri feels like she’s a ghost floating through people. It should be sticky and congested here, but tonight the breeze is so strong that it nips at any spot of exposed skin. No matter how far Ruri buries into her jacket, she never feels warm. She keeps shivering, teeth chattering, eyes flicking back and forth.

Is Serena following her?

Ruri truly wouldn’t mind—it’s not as if she’s scared of Serena or anything—but after that meet-up in Ray’s apartment Ruri wants to know just what’s going on. Why is Serena following her? She never liked Ray, or at the very least never paid her much mind. And while that hurts Ruri to her core, it solidifies in her mind that Serena never should have come to Ray’s apartment.

_ I wish we could have been friends,  _ Ruri thinks.  _ I wish I could be Serena’s friend too … _

But getting close to Serena feels like hugging a porcupine, and if Ruri dares try to flip Serena onto her belly she’ll only scare her. That’s the last thing Ruri wants. She’s afraid for Serena too—could Serena die from fighting dragons? What if one day she stops coming to class too? She barely knows Serena but still—to know that someone close to you just disappeared?

_ How horrible. _

She shivers again, tucking her hands into her deep pockets. People bump into her shoulders and cut in front of her, but Ruri doesn’t even recognise where she’s going. Her feet will take her to the right place … 

Ruri blinks. There, in front of her, is someone wearing a Maiami Preparatory school uniform—and not just any student, but Mieru. She walks with a slow, lazy gait, winding her way down the road and miraculously not bumping into anyone.

_ What’s she doing out there?  _ Ruri thinks. She hasn’t hung out with Mieru in a while, too caught up with everything else life has thrown at her. At the moment, Ruri feels too drained and depressed to consider inviting Mieru over for tea and snacks, yet something sticks out as peculiar to Ruri. Mieru doesn’t live in the centre of town, and while it might be normal for a student to go shopping, Mieru often heads straight home and studies or goes to cram school at a community building near her house. Neither of those places are in town.

Ruri narrows her eyes. She shouldn’t doubt her friend, yet something seems off …

Ruri hurries forward, falling in line next to Mieru. “Mieru, hey—what’s … up?” 

Mieru doesn't turn towards her. In fact, she doesn’t make any indication she’s seen or heard Ruri. She keeps walking forward, arms behind her back, weaving through the pedestrian traffic.

“Mieru,” Ruri repeats, and this time she taps her shoulder. Mieru’s pace shifts, just slightly, and her hair brushes back behind her. There, pressed into her neck though, is a tattoo of sharp teeth.

A dragon’s bite.

Ruri knows that mark and what it means, but before she can begin to think Mieru turns towards her, head tilting at such an unnatural, painful angle. Mieru smiles up at her, though Ruri feels like she’s a bug at her friend’s feet. Mieru’s eyes have turned a dull shade of green, like foggy glass. She blinks just once, long and slow, her smile widening just a bit more.

“Oh, hi there, Ruri.”

Her voice sounds … wrong. So, so wrong. It sounds like someone tape-recorded her voice and played it back through a broken speaker, so that certain words pitch up and others down, and her voice is so warbled and scratchy that Ruri can hardly believe it’s Mieru speaking to her and saying her name. Everything about it makes Ruri’s body shake and her mind spin.

“Mieru, what’s wrong?” Ruri says, and then stops herself. Those words won’t do anything. Those words can’t help her. 

“Wrong?” Mieru echoes. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Ruri bites her lip. “W-where are you going then?” 

“Where? Oh, just somewhere better than here …”

Ruri opens her mouth to argue, but Mieru takes her hand and squeezes it tightly. Mieru’s palms are as cold as ice, and her fingers pinch Ruri’s together and cause her to flinch. Ruri doesn’t dare yank her hands free though. She can’t leave Mieru alone—no, she won’t let another friend be killed by a dragon. Even if she’s not a puella magi, there’s no way Ruri will stand aside while this happens.

Swinging their hands together, Mieru says, “How about you join me, Ruri?”

“Join you …?” 

Mieru shrugs her shoulders. Her sickly smile has widened so much that it stretches her face like a toad, pulling at her otherwise unblemished skin and popping her eyes out of her head.. 

“Well, more like us—”

“Us?”

Ruri spins around. Now that she looks closely, there are people walking in the same direction as Mieru, all of them with the same deadpan expression and lightless eyes. None of them are speaking though, and in fact none of them seem to have anything in common. Ruri spots several businesspeople on their way home from work. There are students too from other schools in the city, wearing their school uniform and probably having been bitten by the dragon’s curse. Ruri glances around to see if anyone else is following them, but now Mieru has begun to lead her down a sidestreet along closed-up shops.

With a wince, Ruri’s hand is squeezed even tighter.

“Where are we going again?” Ruri asks, forcing a smile. Perhaps if she acts calm Mieru will wake up from her trance.

Mieru shrugs. 

Ruri feels her stomach begin to sink to her toes. She can’t leave Mieru on her own, not when she has been cursed, yet Ruri also feels a sense of hopelessness at not being able to do anything. All she can do is stay close to her friend as she’s led deeper and deeper into the underbelly of the city. The shadows grow deeper and darker, appearing to take on a form of their own. The streets grow colder too, and Mieru’s clammy hand in her own only stings Ruri even more.

_ If I had Serena’s number,  _ Ruri thinks,  _ I could call her for help. But I don’t—I never got close to her! And I just saw her too, but I bet she’s long gone. I can’t call anyone else, can I? Will the police understand what’s going on? Will they even be able to help? The only person I can call who might have an idea about what’s going on is … _

_ Yuzu. _

She shakes her head. Yuzu is the last person Ruri wants to get involved in this mess. Though Mieru is Yuzu’s friend too, Ruri doesn’t want to put anyone else’s life in danger. Besides, what could Yuzu do? Try and drag Mieru back from this trance? Try and wake her up?

“Mieru, we shouldn’t stay out too late.” Ruri chuckles softly, but the laugh comes out a tad desperate and shaky. “We’ll be so tired in class tomorrow.”

Mieru doesn’t even laugh at the joke. It’s so unlike her, and so unnerving that Ruri begins to shake harder. So Ruri digs her heels in a bit, just enough to momentarily stop Mieru and hope that it wakes her up—

Mieru lets go of her hand.

Ruri snatches it back so quickly that she nearly digs her own nails into Mieru’s small, freckled hand. Ruri clings to it and hurries forward, falling back in line with Mieru. This time, Mieru laughs, a trickling giggle spilling out of her small, pink lips. It doesn’t sound like Mieru’s laugh though, too crisp and haughty. When Mieru used to crack jokes in the class, there was always a gentle tone to her words. Now though, her laugh reminds Ruri of nails on a chalkboard.

“Don’t fall behind,” Mieru says. “I want to take you somewhere special, Ruri.”

Ruri squeezes Mieru’s hand. 

“I won’t.”


	12. Twelve

Ruri follows Mieru through the twisting streets of Maiami City. Perhaps if it was lighter it wouldn’t feel so foreboding, but Ruri hugs herself tightly as she travels. She can’t veer too far to the left or the right because people bitten by the dragon’s curse border her. They too are travelling, heads bowed, gait steady.

_ How could a dragon get so many people?  _ Ruri wonders. Did all these people come from a train or an office building? And how did it get Mieru?

She glances up at Mieru, who walks with her head held high, swinging her arms from side to side. Normally, Mieru wouldn’t appear quite so animated. Ruri wants to drag her away from all this, but if she interferes she might only put Mieru in more danger. Thus, she sticks as close to her as she can, holding tight to her shirt sleeve. 

Eventually, the crowd stops walking. Surrounded by people, Ruri can’t see where she is or why everyone has stopped. She stretches out her neck and stands on her tiptoes, peering over a man’s shoulder. To her dismay, people seemed to have stopped at the end of an alley. It’s wholly anticlimactic, and a bit upsetting, until Ruri spots the man sitting on a wooden crate with a pail between his feet. Ruri pushes her way forward a bit, still holding tight to Mieru. The closer she gets, the more Ruri begins to smell something strong and pungent. She raises her sleeve to her nose as she begins to cough, creating a barrier so that she doesn’t inhale whatever fumes—

Fumes.

Ruri’s feet skid to a stop. She’s pushed her way far enough through the crowd though that now she can see the dozens of white, plastic jugs of bleach and detergent scattered across the ground. The containers are empty too, having all been poured out into the bucket. 

_ That’s what’s making that terrible smell,  _ Ruri thinks.

She pushes her sleeve further against her nose and glances around. No one else seems to smell it, though perhaps the dragon’s curse prevents them from inhaling it … or prevents them from knowing what will happen.

_ Didn’t Shun tell me once, ‘Don’t mix chemicals because you don’t know what’ll happen?’ _

Ruri eyes up the bottles. They aren’t the same kind of chemicals at all—detergents, chlorine, soap, and one that even looks like car fluid. None of those liquids should be together, and the longer Ruri stands around the more lightheaded she feels. She takes a step forward and feels Mieru’s hand tighten on her own.

“Mieru,” Ruri whispers. “We have to go.”

Mieru doesn’t move.

This time Ruri pulls harder, and she leans back into another person, not caring if she topples them over either. “Mieru, come on—we should go—”

“I can’t.”

What does that even  _ mean?  _ Ruri wraps her other hand around Mieru’s wrist and tugs harder. When that doesn’t work, Ruri’s eyes settle on the bucket. If she can’t move the people, then she needs to dispose of the chemicals. Quickly, Ruri drops Mieru’s hand and dashes forward. How she’ll get the bucket through the crowd is another mystery, but at the very least she can try to dump it down a drain or something. 

Ruri only makes it two steps though before Mieru snatches back Ruri’s hand. “Hey, don’t do that—”

“Let go!” Ruri says. She coughs loudly, bringing a sleeve up to cover her nose and mouth. “Mieru, you can’t—the chemicals—everyone will die!”

Mieru smiles at her. A sliver of moonlight casts a halo on her frizzy, red hair and freckled face. Her eyes glow brighter and brighter, taking on a glassy hue that illuminates every shade of green in her irises. “Why would you stop this?”

“Why?” Ruri repeats. 

“This is a ceremony,” Mieru says, “and together, you and I will be travelling to a holy land.”

Ruri’s heart thuds painfully in her chest. That’s what this is—a mass suicide to achieve enlightenment? Mieru has never before believed in this sort of spiritual practice—she would never agree to this! The dragon that found her, it’s corrupted her mind. It’s corrupted all of these people’s minds, in fact. And Ruri—she’s the only one with a clear mind, the only one who can see this going wrong.

Ruri’s lungs rebel once more and she coughs hard into her shirt sleeve. The fumes have begun to make her head spin too, and when she glances around spots dance in her vision. She doesn’t have much longer either before she passes out, and then—

Ruri yanks herself free of Mieru’s grip, pulling so roughly that she nearly tumbles against the wall. She gets a hold of her footing though, dashing through the crowd of brainwashed people and towards the bucket. No one seems to spot her until she has her hands on the handle of the bucket, and like clockwork suddenly the people lift their heads, step towards her, try to grab for her.

Panicking, Ruri glances around. There’s nowhere to go here, is there? No place to hide, no place to run to. Ruri throws her head from side to side, looking for any escape route. She sees herself in the reflection of a window, a girl whose pinkish eyes are wider than the moon. As Ruri registers her own reflection though, she realises where she’s standing. This isn’t just an alleyway; it’s the back area of a building, and that window must connect to a shop.

She squeezes her eyes closed. Ruri has never broken public property before, never even littered, but now …

Now it doesn’t matter. She needs to get the chemicals away.

She throws the bucket towards the window. Though she doesn’t see it make impact, she hears the glass shatter and fall to the ground. The bucket lands a second later, a hollow thud followed by a thick splash as the liquid spreads through the room. Ruri coughs and coughs, her lungs burning from being so close to the chemicals. She raises her head though, and at last opens her eyes. Sure enough, there’s a gaping hole in the middle of the window. The moonlight catches on the jagged edges soaked with the mixed chemicals. It still smells in the alleyway too, but no longer should this pose a threat to anyone.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ruri glances around. Now to …

She freezes. Mieru’s eyes have grown stormy and cloudy, and the whole crowd of possessed people have stepped closer. They look angry, as if they can understand what has happened and are looking for revenge—

“Mieru,” Ruri says, raising a hand. “Hey, it’s me. It’s …”

A hand lunges for her face. As the fingers nearly jab into her eye socket, Ruri steps back, a gasp bubbling in her throat. Shouldn’t that have made it better? The people should be uncursed, or at the very least not targeting  _ her?  _ Quickly, Ruri dashes to the side. She’s trapped unless she enters the building, and at this point being where the chemicals are is better than being out here.

Someone’s hand catches in her hair, and it tugs her back. Ruri screams in pain, ripping the fingers away and feeling her own hair begin to tear. She dashes forward towards the shop. A bit of the moonlight shines down on the silver door handle, and Ruri jiggles it open. Her breath comes in quick, gasping pants—she has to run if she wants to survive. She gets the door open though, and once she’s inside she slams it closed before anyone else can get in,

Just as the door closes though, the room lights up. No longer is she in a warehouse or the storage room to a shop. Ruri finds herself standing before two angelic, wooden mannequins, the kinds artists might use to pose for reference shots. They fly on dusty, silver wings, arching over her head where the ceiling has taken on a galaxy-like pattern. In fact, even the walls are dotted with stars, and then no longer can Ruri see where she is. She hears the dull patter of hands on the door, but if Ruri were to step any further forward she imagine she would be stepping into an alternate dimension.

Her blood runs cold though. Ruri has been in a dragon’s barrier before. This is the  _ last  _ place she should be. Anxiously, she glances around the room for any sign of a dragon. The familiars floating in the sky haven’t taken notice of her, but if Ruri were to step forward would they target her? Without Ray or Serena nearby, Ruri has no one to save her. No one even knows where she is today. 

_ If I die here … then no one will find my body. No one will know I died.  _

A sob escapes her lips. 

_ I’m … going to die. _

The eyes of the mannequins audibly click towards her. Ruri hears the beat of their wings, and she squeezes her eyes closed and falls to her knees. She’s trapped here. If she opens the door, the possessed people will prey on her. If she stays here, the familiars will slaughter her. And if the familiars get out, or if they kill the other people, or if they kill Mieru—

_ I don’t want anyone else to die! _

The next thing Ruri knows is that someone crashes through the window with a battle cry. Glass shatters and sprinkles all across the ground. The hero screams again, and then the familiars scream. Ruri’s eyes snap open—what’s going on? Who’s come? 

A hero has come.

A hero in pink, wearing a cute one-piece dress with a tie, and a skirt that puffs out mid-thigh. Her legs are cased in white stockings on which musical notes are written. When she steps, music seems to follow behind her. And her movements—she dances through the sky like a dancer or an entertainer, and though Ruri feels her heart hammering in her chest, just for a moment she feels at peace. She sees the puella magi smile a real, honest smile, and then she screams her war cry once more.

“Run!” the girl says to her. “Get back behind me, now!”

Ruri does neither. Her legs feel like jelly, and she crumbles to her knees. That voice …

The girl spins through the air. She has two fans, one in each hand, that she uses to slice through the familiar as if she’s holding a sword. Each movement sends a shower of flower petals to the ground too. The petals glow with a gentle, warm light that makes Ruri’s chest loosen and her breaths even out.

Ruri doesn’t even realise the familiars are dead until the girl lands gracefully on the ground, her toes pointed together, and her fans spread out on either side of her. There isn’t a single speck of blood on them—the white lacing and peach fabric is stain- and tear-free.

With a swallow, Ruri glances up. She knows that girl though—that voice, that smile, that aesthetic … is Yuzu. No one but Yuzu carries that much charm and grace. No one has that beautiful, melodious voice. Ruri wants to cry tears of joy, but the thought of Yuzu, her dearest friend, as a puella magi, makes her sob instead. Ruri’s throat tightens, and her eyes burn, and she lets out one shaky breath before she begins to cry.

“Hey, what’re you crying for?” Yuzu says, sauntering up to her and wiping away her tears with her gloved fingers. “Geez, Ruri, I’m here—”

“Why?” Ruri says, voice cracking. “Why …”

Yuzu clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Why’s that the first question you want to ask? You disappointed in my handiwork or something?”

Ruri shakes her head. She sniffles hard, bringing a hand to rub at her eyes and nose. The stars and galaxies have disappeared from the room, and now the only light comes from Yuzu’s glowing petals. It’s unnerving to see too, and it only makes Ruri want to cry harder and bury her face in Yuzu’s pretty dress and dream that none of this could ever, ever happen. 

Why would Yuzu make a contract? Why did she do that?

“Come on, Ruri, stop crying,” Yuzu says. “I saved you, and it’s going to be OK—”

Ruri shakes her head, fighting through her tears.

“It really is. The people outside too, they’re all right. I saved Mieru too, and I bet she’s probably so confused right now as to why she’s standing outside this dingy old building.” She laughs softly, and then brushes her fingers under Ruri’s eyes once more. “I saved you all, didn’t I?”

“Why?”

Chuckling, Yuzu presses a finger to Ruri’s lips. “It’s a secret.” Then she narrows her eyes. Her hands tighten round Ruri’s quaking shoulders. Yuzu glances back behind her, and she calls out, “Hey, you there—show yourself.”

Ruri doesn’t see anyone, not until Serena steps out from the shadows. She’s dressed for battle in her red gown, and her face is ripped in rage the moment she lays eyes on Yuzu kneeling by Ruri. Ruri swallows. Ray and Serena never got along as puella magi, so does that mean Serena will try and fight Yuzu too? Perhaps Serena has begun to stake this territory as her own too …

Yuzu smiles though, arching her head back. “Hey there.”

Serena purses her lips. 

“I got them already—sorry.”

With a slight sniff, Serena turns her eyes towards Ruri. Ruri feels her blood go cold. What does Serena want? Did she come sensing danger? Was she planning on fighting these familiars? And now that they’re gone, is Serena going after the dragon? After all, only dragons give Grief Seeds. Yuzu didn’t get anything but glory for her fight …

However, Serena sighs after a moment and flicks her ponytail. “Whatever,” she says.

“We could be a team, you know,” Yuzu says. She spins her fans around, sing-songing, “This town is big enough for the both of us.”

Serena just turns around though and walks away, back towards a door Ruri never saw until now. Still on the ground, Ruri feels her whole body shiver. She never wants to see puella magi fight. She never wants to see her friends fight, or die, and yet … Yuzu made a contract. There’s no other explanation for the get-up and weapons, for how she came swooping in and saved the day. And while Yuzu seems at ease with the idea, prancing around the room and kicking petals in the air, Ruri feels sick to her stomach.

_ What did you wish for?  _ Ruri wants to ask, but her lips feel too dry. A part of her doesn't even want to know though. Who would give up everything for a single wish? What could Yuzu have wanted so desperately that only a magical miracle could have made it come true?

* * *

“I haven’t seen you around.”

“Neither have I—come to stake your claim on the land?”

Rin kicks her feet back and forth. Atop a towering, metal electric pole, the kind with bars leading all the way to the top and looking more like a creaky Eiffel Tower, Rin sits and gazes out at Maiami City below. She’s come to this city after learning that the previous puella magi, Akaba Ray, was killed in action fighting a dragon. Ray’s territory has been closely guarded, and so now that she’s away Rin hopes to claim it as her own.

Rin tilts her head towards Zarc though, eyes narrowed. If Zarc is here, that means there are young girls making contracts. The last thing Rin wants is some newbies trying their moves out in Maiami City—the city ain’t big enough for two people, and Rin doesn’t want to share her land with anyone.

“You’re one of the last puella magi I expected to show up,” Zarc remarks, a smile creeping across his black jaws.

Rin snorts. “Oh really? Well, the news around the block is that Ray kicked the bucket. This is prime real estate here, so I’m not going to let any ol’ girl claim it.”

Zarc hums under his breath. He swings his tail back and forth, the green gens catching and glowing in the nighttime sky. “But there already is another girl here … one who just made a contract.”

“She won’t stand a chance,” Rin says with another snort. 

“She’s pretty strong …”

Groaning, Rin sinks her teeth into her lip. “Then she’s just a pest. I’m not letting a newbie take over this city, not after I’ve already come here.”

“Oh ho ho—and what are you going to do?”

Chuckling, Rin leaps to her feet. She balances along the bar, walking straight with her feet gripping the metal pole. She keeps her arms out in front of her until a breeze swoops her off her feet, but then instead of fighting in Rin lets herself be taken away. Like a graceful bird, she glides through the air, walking among the clouds, trailing her fingers through the stars. She sees her reflection in the metal—spritely green hair and auburn eyes; pointed features and sharp teeth.

Rin smacks her thin lips together. 

“Hey,” Zarc says, gliding next to her. His dark wings suck up the moonlight like a great, gaping mouth. “I said, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Rin says with a shrug. “She’s new, so she’ll probably move around. Who knows if she’ll even last that long.”

“I think you’re brushing this off,” Zarc remarks. “She may be new, but she’s already taken down some familiars and she has the guts to go after a dragon. She won’t be leaving this city anytime soon, not while her friends are here. She cares too much about them, and she’s protecting them.”

“Stupid,” Rin says.

“But that just means you’ll have to share.” 

Rin laughs outright at that. She nearly tumbles from the sky, and only manages to stay upright by somersaulting down towards a beam and gracefully landing on her feet, arms spread out on either side of her. She feels like a bird, moves like a dancer, and speeds like a racer. Rin loves the breeze in her short hair and the taste of salt on her lips. It brings back a wave of nostalgia, one that brings a smile to her lips before she spits at the ground.

“Then I guess I have no choice, Zarc—I’ll kill her.”


	13. Thirteen

Yuzu taps her heels together, feeling the words out on her lips before she dares say it to Zarc. It sounds so silly, so against what she thinks she believes—but then again what even is she thinking or feeling or doing? Her mind has jumped around so much, and she can’t even make up her mind about what she should be thinking about! Her heart tells her something though, and its voice seems to speak from her very soul.

There’s something Yuzu truly wants, something that only a miracle can make come true.

“I … have my wish,” Yuzu says to Zarc. She crouches down towards the dragon, resting her chin on her knees. She’s on top of the hospital building, in fact, and the breeze up here tears at her pigtailed hair and exposed legs. Yuzu shivers at a particularly large gust, and then slowly opens her eyes and stares at Zarc. The little dragon sits with its tail wrapped over its front two paws, and its green eyes blink back at her.

“Have you thought long and hard?”

Yuzu nods. It’s the truth … sort of. Her hearts know what she wants. Her mind can’t choose, but she keeps coming back to the memory of Yuuya crying on her shoulder, and her crying on his. He needs a miracle to get back to entertaining, and Yuzu has the power to give him one. Why should she deny him his destiny? She can fight. And it will be a wish for her too—she’d give up her life so that she can see her best friend on the stage again.

“You can …” Yuzu clears her throat, feeling it tighten against her will. “You can make any wish come true?”

Zarc chuckles, and while the sound sounds so foreign coming from a dragon, Yuzu feels some of her anxiety ebb away. Zarc must have made plenty of contracts before, so she’s probably not the first one to be making it for someone else. Besides, who cares what Ray said, and probably what Serena thinks too? Who cares what anyone else says because they don’t  _ get  _ why she’s making that wish, and they don’t  _ understand  _ who Yuzu is fighting for.

Huffing, Yuzu says, “Nothing will go wrong?”

Zarc shakes his head. “I can make any wish come true, but only one.”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

And just like that, Zarc reaches forward and taps his nose to the centre of Yuzu’s chest. At first, Yuzu feels nothing, and she feels a bit cheated about the whole ‘becoming a puella magi experience.’ Then something within her shifts, and she hears a popping sound—and then from her chest bursts her Soul Gem attached to a silver bracelet. The soft, pink gem glows like a cherry blossom. Before the bracelet falls to the ground, Yuzu reaches out for it and clasps it in her fingers. The metal band is sound, and though it looks bendable and breakable, when Yuzu tries to pinch it the metal doesn’t give. When she rubs her fingers over the gem, she feels a bit of heat.

“That’s your Soul Gem,” Zarc says. “Always carry it with you.”

“On my wrist, I assume?” Yuzu says, slipping the bracelet on. It magically fits to her wrist, and when she jingles her arm she doesn’t even feel the band slide across her skin. It’s as if she was always meant to be wearing this bracelet, as if she was destined to become a puella magi. The more Yuzu stares at it, the happier she feels.

She looks back at Zarc, lips quirked to the side. “Is that it?”

“That’s it.”

“And my wish?”

“Has already come true.”

Yuzu heaves a great sigh. She imagines Yuuya downstairs, sleeping soundly and wholly unaware of the surprise he’ll receive when he wakes up. She wishes she could see his face, but she has homework and school, and it’s late enough in the evening that the sun has begun to set. 

“Do you feel special?” Zarc asks her.

Yuzu shrugs. “I don’t … feel different, like not in a weird or tingly way.”

“You shouldn’t,” Zarc says, and he laughs as if telling a private joke. “But you are different, don’t worry—and special too. Hiiragi Yuzu, from this day forward you’re a puella magi destined to fight dragons for the sake of your wish. Will you fulfill your duty?”

Yuzu crosses a hand over her chest, placing her open palm against her heart. She feels the gentle, steady rhythm under her hand. She’s livelier than she’s ever felt, more so than when she drunk two cups of coffee in one sitting or ran the most laps around the track in gym class. For the first time in her life, Yuzu feels like she really, truly has a grip on reality and that she controls her own fate. And she hopes for Yuuya’s sake that he does too.

_ I hope I can see you smile, Yuuya,  _ she thinks.  _ I’ve been wanting to see your smile for a while now. _

* * *

Ruri notices it at once—the bags under Yuzu’s eyes that nearly look like bruises. She keeps yawning all class too, but since Yuzu came to class late Ruri doesn’t have a chance to ask her about it until break time. The moment the teacher leaves the room though Ruri spins around in her seat to get a proper look. Yuzu looks like she rolled out of bed without even going to sleep.

“What?” Yuzu says around a yawn.

“What happened?” Ruri asks, keeping her tone gentle yet firm. She doesn’t want to interrogate Yuzu, not after last night when she saved Ruri’s life, but still there’s an itch in Ruri’s mind to protect Yuzu, to tell her that she’s made a grave mistake.

“Nothing happened—I went home with you, remember?” Yuzu leans forward, so close until their noses are touching, and asks, “Are you still in dreamland, sleepyhead?”

Normally, that comment would get a rile out of Ruri, but today she just chews on her lip and lowers her gaze. Nothing is sitting right with her today.

Across the room, Mieru looks equally haggard. Her frizzy hair has taken on new dimensions, and Ruri half expects it to start moving on its own. Mieru’s pale face is bruised from sleep deprivation too, and every couple of minutes Mieru ducks her head into her arms to stifle another yawn. When Mieru catches her watching though, she raises her eyebrows and asks, “What’s up, Ruri?”

“You’re yawning too …”

Mieru chuckles behind her hand. “Want to hear a wild story?”

“Sure,” Yuzu says, cupping her face in one hand.

With a skip in her step, Mieru comes bounding across the room to sit next to them. She takes a moment to leave them all in suspense, smirking along with it, and then she says, “Well, I think I sleepwalked last night, but I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“Really now?” Yuzu says.

Ruri swallows a pit in her throat.

“Yeah, I don’t even remember coming home or anything, or even falling asleep on the train; gosh, I rarely even take the train. But one minute I was … somewhere, and the next minute I wake up in some random alleyway surrounded by a whole bunch of unconscious people. It was so weird—I thought I was dreaming.”

“That sounds like a dream to me,” Yuzu says. “But I believe you though, don’t worry. My dad saw it on the news last and told me about it this morning before class. Apparently it was a huge investigation and like twenty people were interviewed as victims.”

Mieru nods. “They interviewed me too, and though I couldn’t answer many of their questions, I hope I helped in some way.” She chews nervously on her lip, and then adds, “Hey, Ruri, did you hear anything about it?”

Ruri nods her head, though the motion creaks and jerks all the muscles in her neck. She was there for it, and so was Yuzu. Fortunately, both of them ran out the back door before the police could arrive on the scene, and so they weren’t part of the investigation that happened last night. Ruri still feels guilty for leaving Mieru all alone last night—she wouldn’t have wanted to wake up surrounded by a bunch of unconscious strangers either—but then there was Yuzu and that scared Ruri even more.

Ruri feels her heart clench in her chest. In one night alone both of her friends were in serious danger. How could this happen so easily? And it could happen again just as easily.

“You tired too, Ruri?” Yuzu says.

“ … no,” Ruri says. Her eyes travel down to her desk, and then when she glances back up she sees Serena sitting primly in the front row. Serena disappeared after she found Ruri and Yuzu, and Ruri wonders if it was Serena who contacted the police and reported the mystery. Ruri should have done it, but she’d been too afraid after tumbling into the dragon’s barrier to do anything but panic for her life.

Yuzu’s eyes fall on Serena too, but instead of saying anything she just laughs and claps both Mieru and Ruri on the shoulders. Ruri leans into Yuzu’s touch, pushing her cheek into Yuzu’s hip.

“If the teacher asks why we’re so tired, we’ll just lie and tell him we were being diligent, hardworking students pulling all-nighters to study.”

Ruri nods, though the moment Yuzu breaks away, and both her and Mieru return to their seats, Ruri feels a cold shiver run down her spine. 

_ I could have lost my friends that night. _

That’s the realest reality Ruri can imagine. 

If a dragon had appeared, Yuzu could have died. Just like with Ray, Yuzu could have been eaten alive and lost in the dragon’s barrier. And if not Yuzu, then Mieru. Both of them were in peril, and Ruri couldn’t have done anything to save them. She hasn’t seen Zarc since he left them, so there would have been no way for Ruri to make a quick contract and fight for her life. She could have died that night and no one would have known.

All through the day Ruri’s stomach churns painfully, and she nearly excuses herself to the nurse’s office when the pain becomes so unbearable that tears threaten to spill down her cheeks. Instead, she excuses herself to the bathroom just once, and only to gag weakly over the toilet until she knows she can make it through class. She avoids everyone’s stares, especially Yuzu’s, until after class when Yuzu wraps her arms around her shoulders and buries her face into Ruri’s neck.

“Hey,” Yuzu mumbles into Ruri’s shoulder.

“... hey,” Ruri says back.

“You’ve got something on your mind.”

“I do.”

Yuzu breathes a sigh of relief, and the breath ghosts under Ruri’s uniform and against her bare skin. It makes her shiver, but the feeling is pleasantly reassuring. Ruri leans further into Yuzu’s touch, and she tilts her head so that they’re close together, Ruri’s nose in Yuzu’s thick, pink hair.

“Let’s go to a park today, all right?” Yuzu’s voice cracks once with a yawn.

“Yeah,” Ruri says. 

With one last squeeze, Yuzu lets go and sits back in her seat. Ruri gathers up her school books and tucks them into her backpack, and then waits to Yuzu to pack up her belongings too. Since Mieru has after school curriculars and clubs, she waves goodbye to Ruri and Yuzu before she disappears through the doorway. Ruri gives herself a chance to sigh before she links arms with Yuzu and the two girls head through the doorway and into the hallway. They don’t unlink arms until they need to swap out of their flats and into their outdoor shoes, but then Yuzu links arms with Ruri once more.

Ruri clings as tightly as she can to Yuzu. She follows Yuzu through the schoolyard and out the gates, where Yuzu then turns and finds a snaking cobblestone path through the woods surrounding the school. Maiami City has parks everywhere, it seems, but where Yuzu takes her to is towards one of the few lakes outside of the city. Here the grass is especially green, and the trees stretch up as if they want to be fluffy clouds too. Though there are no visible birds, all around them the city sings. It glows. The city seems so bright, so full of life, that Ruri can hardly believe she’s not a ten-minute walk from the hospital where Ray died, or from the alleyway where she nearly lost her life.

How does the world exist in such parallels? How can the world move on when there are dragons preying on innocent people? How can young girls be fighting for the safety of the world? And who’s fighting for them? The girls don’t even fight for each other.

Tears begin to prickle in her eyes. Yuzu … Yuzu is a puella magi now. Her friend is going to die in combat, Ruri just knows it.

She squeezes Yuzu’s arm tightly, burying her face in the material of her dress shirt.

“Are you mad at me?” Yuzu asks.

Ruri shakes her head. 

“I’m glad.” Yuzu squeezes back. “It’s not so bad, you know … being a puella magi, I mean. I actually feel pretty refreshed. I’m like a hero, don’t you think?”

Ruri struggles to nod her head, and ultimately she bows it and settles down on the grass under a thick, shady willow tree. The long, leafy tendrils tumble into a small pool of water, and others snake across the grass. Ruri thinks they look like thousands of teardrops tumbling from the heavens.

“Yuzu, are you … scared?”

“Of what?” Yuzu leans her head against Ruri’s, and breathes a deep sigh from her belly.

“Of … being a puella magi.”

“Oh … yeah, a little bit.” She shrugs her shoulders, bouncing Ruri’s head up and down. “But there’s a lot of things I’m even more afraid of, like losing you and Mieru. You’re my friends and you matter. How could I have held back from being a puella magi when I could have lost you guys?”

Ruri swallows thickly. 

Sensing the hesitation, Yuzu quickly adds, “That’s not to say that anyone who denies making a contract is selfish and weak—no, there’s a lot that goes into making a contract, and it wasn’t an easy choice for me, but … I’m not going to hold back and regret my choices. I think I’m strong enough, and I hope you agree with me. After seeing Ray, I think I have what it take—not to be exactly like her, but to be someone who others can depend on.”

Ruri nods, tucking her cheek into the space between Yuzu’s chin and shoulder.

“What I regret most,” Yuzu says, “is not making a contract sooner. If I had done it when Zarc first offered it to me, maybe Miss Ray would still be alive. And knowing that, I didn’t want to live my life with that burden on my shoulders.”

Ruri nods her head. Every part of her body feels like it’s being ripped apart, but she smiles through it all for Yuzu’s sake. 

“You made a wish then?”

“Yeah …”

Ruri wonders if she should ask. When she asked Ray or Serena, they got quite upset. Perhaps a wish is personal, too personal to even tell your closest friend. So Ruri holds the question under her tongue, and instead says, “You shouldn’t feel guilty for Miss Ray’s sake because that’s … my fault too.”

Yuzu shakes her head. “You didn’t have a wish in your mind, but I clearly had a wish and I was holding back. Besides”—Yuzu wraps her arm around Ruri’s shoulders, tucking her in close—“what matters is that I have a wish now, and I have the power to protect the good citizens of Maiami City. I’m not going to hold back now.”

“You’re brave,” Ruri says.

“I am.”

For a moment longer, Yuzu arms stay wrapped around Ruri’s shoulder. Ruri wishes they never have to leave this position—that she could just forever remain in her friend’s arms, coddled and snuggled like a baby. But the more she lingers the guiltier she feels, and when she begins to tear up again Yuzu clicks her tongue and wipes away her tears with the corners of her sleeves. 

“Really, Ruri, I’m not even crying over this.”

“I know.”

“Besides, I can’t leave you crying—”

“Huh?” Ruri blinks, tilting her head upwards. “Where are you going?” Suddenly her heart is now racing at a million miles per second, and her body has been drenched in a cold sweat, and she can’t breathe even though she feels like she’s loudly hyperventilating in her friends’ arms—

“I’m just … going to see a friend—but hey, no more tears, all right! Let’s get some sleep tonight, and have a good day tomorrow!” Then Yuzu hugs her, and the hug feels so tight and warm and comforting that Ruri feels like crying all over again. The last time someone hugged her so tightly, it was Ray before she went to fight the dragon. Yuzu won’t be fighting those dragons yet, but Ruri wishes she could hold on just a bit tighter, stay with Yuzu for just a bit longer.

When Yuzu breaks apart, Ruri’s arms fall to her sides. Yuzu blots away the dangling tears with her sleeve, and then she pats Ruri on the head.

“Chin up, buttercup,” she says. “And I’ll say hi to my friend for you, all right?”

“All … right.”

With one last wave, Yuzu heads back down the path and towards the city. Ruri thinks of following her—after all, they’re going the same direction—but she hangs around under the willow tree, occasionally feeling a tendril brush against her cheek. She doesn't let herself cry, but the heavy emotions hang there all the same. 

_ I’m a coward, aren’t I?  _ Ruri thinks to herself.  _ How can I even protect my friends? _


	14. Fourteen

Yuzu stands with her heels against the wall, back to the wall, feeling her chest rise and fall with an excited, near-gasping breath. She wants to turn the corner and see Yuuya in the room—see him walking and smiling and singing and dancing just like he used to be. Sure, he might not be able to do that in the hospital  _ room,  _ but she wants to round the corner and see her closest childhood friend happy once more.

Most of all, Yuzu wants to see her fulfilled wish in action. Since she never got to meet Ray’s parents, or ever learn about Serena’s wish, she’s never seen how wishes are actually fulfilled. Yuzu wants to see a  _ miracle. _

With one last breath, she flips herself around the corner and into the room. The first thing she sees is whiteness because the blinds are fully open and blinding sunlight pours into the room, across the floor, and into her eyes. Yuzu blinks and raises her hand to shield her eyes. Then, with the shadows over her vision, she squints to see Yuuya through the sunlight. He’s there in the bed, sitting upright with the warmest, gentlest smile Yuzu has ever seen. There’s colour to his hollow cheeks and stars in his eyes. The blankets are pooled around his legs so that Yuzu can see that he’s pulled his knees up a bit. He balances a book on them, and lazily flips through the pages. He hears her, probably her ragged breathing, and when he lifts his head his smile grows.

“Yuzu.”

Her name—just her name, but the emotion in his voice makes unshed tears well up in Yuzu’s crystal blue eyes. She feels her bottom lip wobble, and her cheeks burn, and every feeling she can name under the sun and moon courses through her body. She doesn’t know what she should say or do, but her body moves on autopilot and, the next thing she knows is that she’s hugging him tightly. Yuuya already feels stronger in her arms, though that might just be her mind playing tricks on her. He’s lost weight in the hospital, refusing to eat, but there’s a hardiness to his spirit that makes him not quite so fragile.

In her embrace, he says her name again: “Yuzu.”

The emotions pour through her all over again.

Yuzu doesn't know how long they stay in each other’s embrace, or how many times they say each other’s names. It doesn’t matter. She lets the moment last for as long as it needs to, and when she feels ready to let go she steps back and sits down on the side of the bed. Her eyes flicker towards his bent legs. He can walk again … can’t he?

Yuuya chuckles. “Can you guess?” he says.

“I think I can,” Yuzu says, and then she hugs him again. She buries her nose in his red and green hair. It smells heavenly, as if he’s cleaned himself up just for this day. No doubt today must be one of the best days of his life.

“It was a miracle,” Yuuya says to her. He leans back a bit, and then toys with his fingers, cheeks suddenly a warmer, darker red. “You were right, Yuzu—a miracle happened.”

“Told you,” she says. She pushes herself up further on the bed, leaning against his bony legs. “I’m … I’m happy, Yuuya. I’m so, so happy.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuya says then. “You—and then I said—”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter.” And Yuzu believes it—it doesn’t matter what happened back then. What matter is now. Yuuya will recover and feel better, and he’ll go back to class, and he’ll be at her father’s duel school too. 

Yuuya nods, but his expression grows a tad more solemn as his eyebrows push together. “Yuzu, I … said something really hurtful to you. And I’m sorry, that wasn’t called for—”

“Yuuya—”

“Listen, Yuzu, I mean it, I really do. I’m sorry for that, and for my sour mood before that, and all the times before …” He rubs at an eye, as if trying to hide the fact that there are tears there. “You’ve been so good through all of this, coming to see me at the hospital, bringing me CDs, making me smile. So I have to say sorry too, but … I also want to say thank you.”

Yuzu’s heart thrums in her chest.  _ I’ve wanted to hear those words for a while now, haven’t I? And see that face—I’ve wanted to see Yuuya’s smile again and again. And now … my wish has come true too. _

Unable to get the words out that she desperately wants to say, Yuzu settles for relishing the moment. Tentatively, she reaches out and takes Yuuya’s hands. They’re soft, the calluses on them faded from not leaping from bar to bar. Soon he’ll have rough, weathered hands like her—hands of an actor, a performer, an entertainer. Yuzu can’t wait to see Yuuya back at the duel school. She can’t wait to dance and perform with him, twirling through the air.

“You’re welcome,” she tries, and then laughs. “That doesn’t even sound like the right thing to say, does it?”

“Close enough,” Yuuya tells her. He squeezes her hands, and then adds, “But … I can’t leave the hospital quite yet, not until I’ve had some more tests.” He drops his gaze to his knees. “I don’t think the doctors believe this could occur.”

Yuzu hums under her breath. 

Yuuya reaches across her and pulls out one of the CDs that she’s brought him. Over the past months she’s brought him dozens of CDs to his favourite musical scores and bands. It was something to keep the silence out of the room, and now that the celebration is over Yuuya looks to be filling the room with a melody again. He pops the CD into the music player and closes the lid.

“Are you going to let me pick?” Yuzu asks, curling over to see what CD he’s chosen.

Yuuya pushes his body up to block her view. “Nuh uh, it’s a surprise—”

“Lemme see!” Yuzu tries to stretch her neck out to see the name, but just as she gets a glimpse of the player the cheeriest, big band melody plays through the air. It’s the theme song to his favourite anime, not a piece from the musicals he listens to. Yuzu’s eyes widen and she sucks in a breath.

Yuuya turns back around to face her. He’s still holding her hand with one of his own, but his other hand comes across to rest on hers too. 

Yuzu sways to the beat. She knows this song. As young children, this was their personal anthem. They used to dance to it while their parents watched, skipping and singing aloud like they didn’t have a care in the world. She feels the same music in her soul, and her swinging legs itch to get back on the dance floor once more. She knows the steps, and she bets Yuuya does too.

She looks back at him. Yuuya’s smile tells her,  _ Go for it. _

Kicking off from the bed, Yuzu comes around to stand in front of him. Yuuya’s expression has morphed into a peculiar twist of his eyebrows and lips. Chuckling, Yuzu bows low and stretches out her hand towards him. “Good sir,” she says, “may I have this dance?”

For a second, there’s hesitation and empty weight in her open hand. Yuzu feels the wind tickle through her fingers. She hears Yuuya’s breath stop and start, and she wonders how many emotions and running through his body. How’s he feeling? What’s going on for him? And then his bony hand falls into her. 

The moment Yuzu feels skin, she grasps his hand and pulls him up off the bed. Yuuya tumbles towards her, legs like a baby giraffe just learning how to walk again. Yuzu adjusts her grip so that she can hold his weight against her chest, though quickly Yuuya’s legs adjust to the feeling of standing and he rises up. He’s as tall as her, so she can look straight across into his warm, ruby eyes. 

When she hears the first note, she takes a step. Yuuya’s leg follows hers.

She takes another, and another, around the room to the symphony of their song. Yuuya follows her every step as if he’s danced this dance in his dreams. They know each other’s rhythm, never getting too far ahead or behind. When Yuuya’s legs stumble, Yuzu tightens her grip and holds him upright. When she stumbles because her legs tangle together, Yuuya holds her and twirls her round and round until she  _ has  _ to be in his arms.

They dance like there is no tomorrow. Their eyes fill with tears—happy tears, and happy sobs too—until they’re both too tired to continue and collapse sideways on the bed. Her heart thrums with joy. Across from her, Yuuya giggles to himself.

Above it all, Yuzu thinks to herself,  _ This is my wish. This is everything and more that I could have dreamt of.  _

_ Miss Ray, I know you said to not make a wish for others … but I’m selfish and I did this for myself. I did this because I wanted to see Yuuya get better. I did this because, at the end of the day, I want to see him smile as brightly as he can. And that’s a wish for me too. _

_ There’s no way I regret a single action I took. This is the happiest moment of my life and I’ll cherish it forever. _

She tilts her head back. Yuuya’s face glows like an angel. He laughs and giggles as he recounts childhood stories of them dancing for their parents, or putting on pretend plays of them being kings and queens and heroes of the dimensions. His smile looks effortless.

_ My wish came true. _

* * *

Rin sits in the tree, knees up to her ears, peering through the glass window of the hospital. She pulls a face every time the new puella magi—Zuzu was her name, or was it Yuzu?—hugs the boy, or cradles the boy, or starts whispering sweet somethings in the boy’s ear. She nearly falls out of the tree gagging when the girl and the boy start dancing, as if this is some fairytale happy ending and the girl thinks her life is going to just move on.

Nuh uh.

Rin can see the tired bags under the girls eyes, and the slight stumbles from the bruises on her body. No doubt her fighting last night tired her out. And she’ll have the fight tonight, and tomorrow, and all the nights after that. 

Tilting her head up, Rin spots Zarc hanging by his tail from the tree like a small, black bat. Zarc’s only a bit bigger than the average bat, and the gems in his skin glow a sickly, toxic green. But still, he could be a bat if someone didn’t look closely enough. 

_ “That’s  _ the new puella magi?” Rin says.

Zarc nods his head. “Yuzu.”

Yuzu, not Zuzu then. Cool.

Rin sticks out her tongue. “She looks like she could be a damn snack for a dragon. You scraping from the bottom of the barrel for new girls? Was she really the best you could find?”

“Yes,” Zarc says, and his bottom lip pops out in a pout. “She might not look like much, but she’s pretty strong and agile. She’s an Action Duelist if I remember correctly, which means she’s rather skilled in acrobatics.” 

“Fat lot that’s gonna do. What, you want her to just run away until eventually she gets swallowed up?” Rin lounges back on one of the branches. Papery leaves tickle at her cheeks. She’s thankful the foliage is thick enough for her to hide within, and that Yuzu and that boy are so wrapped up in their own little world that they wouldn’t even bother to look out the window. The sun is in the right angle too, beaming through the sky and down onto the window. Rin can feel the sticky heat on her back.

She tucks herself deeper into the tree, towards the cooler, shadier sections surrounded by larger leaves. Rin can still see Yuzu though, still twirling around the room without a care in the world. Her happiness makes Rin’s stomach twist in angry knots.

Zarc comes down to meet her, green eyes glowing the like the bottoms of glass bottles. “Well, Rin, things don’t always turn out like you want them to.”

She kicks out at the dragon, trying to knock him out of the tree. “I don’t need you around to tell me that.”

Zarc slips out of the way, coiling through the branches like a snake. His small, reptilian body blends in with dark patches of the wood, and more than once he disappears from her line of vision only to pop up again. Rin never knows how to feel around Zarc. Should she be nervous around the creature with whom she made a contract? Should Zarc make her nervous? He seems pretty harmless.

“There’s another puella magi in town,” Zarc continues. “An older one.”

Rin raises an eyebrow. “Not her?” she says, leaning her head towards Yuzu spinning round the room like a marionette.

Zarc nods. 

“Well, what’s she like?” Rin kicks her feet back on the branches. “She any good?”

Zarc shrugs his shoulder. “I dunno much about her, actually. Just her name—Serena.”

“Serena,” Rin repeats, mumbling the words under her lips. Then she scowls, her features twisting and churning together. “Wait, what do you mean you don’t know much about her? She’s a puella magi—she made a contract with you, didn’t she?”

“Yes and no,” Zarc says, leaning his head from one side to the next.

Rin hikes herself up a branch so that she’s nose-to-nose with Zarc. His scales chill her to her very soul, but she doesn't break eye contact, not even once. “What the  _ fuck  _ is that supposed to mean? If she didn’t make a contract with you, then who else did she make it with?”

Zarc’s smile only grows wider. “Well, I never said she  _ didn’t  _ make it with me.”

“You’re making no sense, you know that, right?” Rin pushes her face further into Zarc’s. She has sharp canine teeth that dig into her soft lips. “Who is that girl?”

Not even a flicker of fear crosses Zarc’s face. “I don’t know,” he says, voice still a happy lilt. “She’s an extremely irregular puella magi. She’s been around for a while, I think, but I never know where she is, what she’s doing, or where she’s going. The fact that she’s here must mean something important will happen, but even I don’t have the answer to that. I am curious though.”

“Hm?”

Zarc pulls his face away and slides down the branch towards the hospital. “If Serena is here, that must mean something special will happen. I’m always excited to watch the events unfold.”

* * *

After the talk with Yuzu, and watching Yuzu dash off to go somewhere special, Ruri hangs around the park while her mind settles. Her stomach and head both hurt, and for what feels like a century she can’t even motivate herself to get up off the ground and head back towards her house. She lies under the shade of the tree, eyes closed, body still. She wonders that, if she stays still forever and never gets up, will anyone come looking for her? Does she truly matter to anyone?

_ I treat others like they don’t matter to me,  _ she thinks.  _ I’m a coward who won’t fight for the safety of her family and friends. _

Tears leak out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks. She never quite gets to the sobbing mess she could be, as if she doesn’t even have the energy within her to let all her emotions come pouring out.

When she sits up, she hugs herself so tightly, wishing that Yuzu or Ray could wrap their arms once more around her shoulder and pull her close. Ruri wishes with all her heart that she could be embraced one more time. Though Yuzu is still here with her, Ruri’s heart tells her that it’s only a matter of time before Yuzu gets injured on the job … or worse.

_ I won’t ever forget you, Yuzu,  _ she tells herself, but then what good does that do? What good can she do just hanging around waiting to be saved?

No matter what Ruri tells herself, she feels weak. Useless. She’s taking up unnecessary space in this world.

Eventually though, she drags herself back home. Her feet move on autopilot down towards the main path. She passes by familiar faces of her schoolmates, but she doesn't raise her head or bid them good afternoon. They continue on with their days too, as if she’s but an afterimage in the corner of their eyes. Ruri finds herself so wrapped up in her self-worry and self-pity that she hardly recognises someone she does know, someone that she can give a second glance to—and someone that gives a second glance to her, green eyes widening.

“Ruri?”

She startles. “Se-serena!” she says, spinning round and hastily bowing forward. “Good afternoon.”

Serena doesn't bow towards her, just gives her an odd little eyebrow raise that puts a shameful blush on Ruri’s cheeks. She rights herself up and fiddles with her hands. Serena probably doesn’t mean to have such a scrutinising stare but, well, she does. It looks like she’s judging Ruri at all times.

“Hey,” Serena says.

Ruri’s cheeks grow redder. Great, she’s started a conversation that she has no idea how to keep up. She was already feeling horrible about her pitiful existence, which she certainly can’t tell Serena about—and now Serena must think she wants to chat. Ruri isn’t in the mood for chatting, or at least, she doesn't think she is. Her head and stomach still hurt, and her entire body feels like it might try to float away at any moment.

But then Serena doesn’t stop looking at her, and the more she stares the tighter Ruri’s chest feels. She doesn’t even realise she’s spoken until Serena says, “Yes,” and Ruri has to ask her, “Wait, what?”

“You just said … ice cream.”

Oh gods no, Ruri thinks. Her stomach ties itself in a million more knots, and she feels like she could be sick at any moment. 

“Did you not mean to say that?” Serena says.

“N-no,” Ruri says through her teeth. “No, let’s go get ice cream … Serena. Please.”

Serena glances around. “Where’s your other friend, the pink-haired one?”

“Yuzu?” Ruri twists her hands together, palms sweaty. “She’s … out. It’s just me today—”

“Good.”

Ruri startles. “Huh?” she says, the words more like a gasp of air leaving her lungs.

“Good,” Serena repeats. “If I’m going out for ice cream with someone, two is the perfect number. Three’s awkward; someone always gets left out if there’s three.”

Despite the worry in her gut, Ruri feels herself chuckle a little at Serena’s words. “That’s true,” she says, and then she continues: “Yeah, you’re right. I … have a favourite place I like to go to, actually. Not that I eat ice cream every day, don’t get me wrong—just … there’s a special place Yuzu and I always go to, and I bet the two of us could go together … too.”

Ruri heaves a mental sigh by the time she’s down that mess of a sentence. She hopes that Serena understood her, and that she didn’t deter Serena from coming. Now that she’s got the idea in her mind, she really does want to eat ice cream with her. Sweets cure depression, right? Or they at least mask some of the emotions.

Serena shrugs her shoulders. “Sure, whatever.”

A little song plays in Ruri’s heart as she turns around and leads Serena down the road and towards town. They walk in line, not saying much. Ruri still feels the aches and pains of her weary spirit, yet she puts on the best smile she can for Serena. After all, Ruri did want to get to know Serena a little better.


	15. Fifteen

Eating ice cream with Yuzu was always a special time for Ruri. She and Yuzu would pick out different flavours just so they could steal a bite of each other’s. They’d pick a different flavour each time they went out too, so that someday they’d both be able to claim they’d tried every flavour in the entire shop. They’d sit in the little chairs too and look out over the beautiful, blue city below. Yuzu always liked the chairs by the window so that she could look out at the parks and river. Ruri never had a favourite seat; just being among the clinking china and soft chatter warmed her heart.

Eating ice cream with Serena is  _ nothing  _ like eating ice cream with Yuzu.

Serena picks her flavour before Ruri, and keeps her ice cream to herself. When Ruri offers a bite, Serena eats it, but she doesn't offer any back. She sits rigidly straight, back to the windows, and so all she has to look at is Ruri. And she does with that same lethal stare that makes Ruri want to curl up in a ball and block out the world.

So Ruri picks at her ice cream after the third bite. Her stomach hurts more than it did before, and the ice cream hasn’t even been able to help her mood. Honestly, what was she thinking? That sweets could solve her problems? That she could just move on from the existential crisis she was having not even an hour ago?

She sinks further into her seat. She feels horrible for bringing Serena here too. No doubt this must be the most boring outing she’s ever been on. Ruri wanted her first trip out with Serena to be something memorable, but this little date feels like the greatest flop in the history books.

“So.”

Ruri sits up straight, stilling her swirling spoon. 

Serena licks the vanilla ice cream from her own spoon. “So,” she says again. “You and Yuzu go here often?”

“Y-yeah,” Ruri says, a quiver in her voice. “Not all the time, but maybe … once a week. We treat each other, actually.”

“I don’t have money on me.”

“That’s—don’t worry, that’s not what I meant by that at all—”

Serena takes another bite, and though she doesn't say anything, Ruri closes her mouth before she babbles for too long. She goes back to swirling her ice cream for a second, absorbed in a bout of self-pity, before Serena speaks up again.

“Your friend Yuzu is a puella magi, right?”

Ruri’s eyes widen, but she jerks her head up and down. “Yes,” she then says. “Yes … she is.”

“You OK with that?”

Ruri shakes her head. She might as well be honest with Serena and get some of the feelings off her chest. With Yuzu, it was hard to say how she truly felt. Yuzu had been so happy to be a puella magi. Ruri has never seen her eyes so full of stars before. She couldn’t crush her hopes and dreams with her realism—a friend wouldn’t do that. 

And while Serena worries Ruri a bit, she also seems like someone Ruri could trust. 

“I’m … scared about how this will all turn out, about how she’ll be OK. I know she’s strong, and that she can run fast, but after Miss Ray …” Ruri squeezes her hands together. “I can’t do anything about what’s going on. I can’t protect her, and I can’t help her. I don’t have a wish, so I can’t even do anything. I just … have to wait. And pray. And wish with all my heart that she will be OK, that I will see her in class tomorrow, and—” Ruri’s voice breaks. “And I’m scared of that.”

Serena doesn’t say anything.

Ruri swallows. “Yuzu is brave, and she’ll take on enemies stronger that her. She’ll fight without a single fear in her heart. I think you’ve seen some of her harsher sides, but if you really got to know her …”

“Know her?” Serena echoes.

“Yeah, just a bit better …” Ruri spins her spoon in her hand. “If you got to know her a bit better, maybe you’d see beyond her rough sides. She really cares for other people. In elementary school, when she found out that some kids from another school were picking on a boy in our class, not only did she beat up the bullies, but she told the school administration and got the teachers on board too. It had never happened before in our school … teachers getting involved, I mean. Bullying happened more, but we kids just dealt with our problems on our own. Yuzu is like that though—inspiring and strong. She gets people involved and she takes care of them. She has a big heart.”

“So?” Serena leans her hand on her cheek. “What’s that got to do with anything, Ruri?”

“Well,” Ruri says. “Well—”

“That’s fatal, you know? Kindness and bravery and dumb shit like that. If you’re too kind, another puella magi will take advantage of you and slaughter you, or at the very least use you as bait for a dragon so that they can get the Grief Seed. If you’re too courageous, you’re reckless and you’ll end up biting off more than you can chew.”

Ruri swallows. Serena has a bleak way of life. 

_ I wonder how long she’s been a puella magi for … maybe a year or two. _

“Besides,” Serena continues with a flick of her wrist, “there’s no reward for doing any of this. None at all. You don’t get a special award for saving humans or being dedicated. Your wish has already been granted too, so there’s nothing you’re striving towards. Right?”

“ … right,” Ruri says, voice squeaking at the end. “But then …”

“Then why do puella magi fight?” Serena shrugs her shoulders. “For Grief Seeds. For survival. For some misplaced sense of hope and bravery. You saw how stupid some puella magi can be. Akaba Ray—”

“No!” In her carelessness, Ruri’s hand bumps against the table, nearly upsetting her parfait cup. She jumps at the loud noise, an apology on her tongue—but then a part of her doesn’t want to apologise, not after what Serena just said.

“You think I’m wrong?” Serena says.

Ruri holds her tongue. She wants to say it, but Serena’s eyes have grown stormy, like a tempest in a rainforest.

“Akaba Ray was foolishly trying to make the world a better place. She’s not naive in some ways since she’d been around for a while, but she truly thought she could win against the dragons. She thought if she kept fighting some kind of peace could be obtained, as if that lofty concept actually exists.”

“It … does though,” Ruri says.

“She was going to die anyways.”

Ruri’s eyes bubble with tears. That—that’s a lie! She wants to say it, spit it out like poison from her mouth.  _ That’s a lie that’s a lie that’s a lie— _

But instead she chokes back a tired sob, bringing a hand up to rub childishly at her wet eyes and nose. She spots her napkin on the table, an she trades her sleeves for the paper that she dabs around her face. “Serena …”

“It sucks that your friend Yuzu made a contract,” she adds. It’s another knife through Ruri’s heart. “I should have told her the same advice I told you. I should have watched her more closely.”

“S-she’s going to be OK—” Ruri says from within the folds of the napkin. “She’ll be—”

Serena pushes her chair back with a loud, ear-grating screech. She rises like a phoenix, smoothing her blouse and skirt down with her hands. Then she places both hands on either side of the table and stares down at Ruri.

“I’m sorry, Ruri, but you should give up on Yuzu.”

“H-huh?” Ruri says, as if she doesn’t understand. She does, but her heart pleads that Serena will reconsider her words, that she’ll take them back and reword them so they sound like the answers Ruri wants to hear. But Serena says nothing more. She leaves the shop in the blink of an eye.

Ruri’s eyes remain centred on the table. Over the edge of the napkin, she glances down at her ice cream and feels the tears overflow from her eyes. She can barely see the table too. How many times has she come here with Yuzu and eaten ice cream? How many times have they carefreely chatted about their days? How many days has it been since that reality was actually real?

_ Why did all this happen?  _ Ruri thinks.  _ Why did you have to make a contract, Yuzu? I’m … sorry I couldn’t have protected you. _

But the longer Ruri hangs around the ice cream shop the sadder she feels. She brings her hand to her stomach. She probably has an ulcer from all the anxiety she’s been feeling recently. 

She drags herself out the shop door and back into the city streets. It’s gotten darker now; to her surprise, it’s approaching nightfall. Then again, she and Yuzu talked after school, and then her and Serena talked afterwards. That’s a long time, isn’t it? And she’s been dragging herself through today anyways—how would she know what time of day it is, or even the date today? Her mind has been in a million other places.

She lets her feet take her where she needs to go—not home, she’s much too upset to go home while Shun is still awake. She’d have to explain to him why, yet again, she’s crying. He doesn't need to see that. Yet her body seems to have an idea of where to go through. She wanders through the busy streets with her head hung, letting whatever force there is sweep her by. Eventually, Ruri finds herself in a street lined with regular townhouses—except for one house, that is.

Yuzu’s house stands out from every other building. It’s got glass and cement and tile wound together in an elaborate concoction that somehow has never managed to tip or blow over. There’s a big sign that says “You Show Duel School” in colourful letters. On the upper floors there is what looks like a basketball court, and on the other side a long, concrete pipe with a big glass window. Ruri never really understood why Yuzu’s house looked like _that,_ but then again Yuzu’s family is full of spunk and charm so it would make sense that she’d live in a spunky house. At night, there are fairy lights strung along the top of the house that make it glow like a sacred place. Since Ruri is on a residential street lined with street lamps and benches, she can sit down across from Yuzu’s house and watch the fairy lights with her face cupped in her hands. Her head tells her, _Why are you here?_ , and her heart tells her, _You know who you’re here for._

As painful as it is to see, when Yuzu steps out of her house and down her front steps, Ruri’s heart still gives a little thrum of excitement. Yuzu looks warm in a dress and cardigan and a scarf, like she’s just going out for an evening stroll and not to fight dragons. In fact, Ray looked the same too. How many girls has Ruri passed on the streets and not known they weren’t just heading to their friends’ places or heading home? 

Yuzu’s eyes widen as soon as she spots her on the bench. “Ru—”

“Hey,” Ruri says, bouncing her shoulders. 

But instead of frowning or growling or even just doing nothing, Yuzu smiles brightly out here. “How’d you know I’d be out hunting dragons tonight?”

“I just … thought so,” Ruri says with another shrug. She stands but doesn't make another step forwards. It feels like there is an invisible barrier between her and Yuzu, an awkward bridge they have yet to cross. 

When Ruri looks closely at Yuzu’s face, she sees that awkwardness and hesitation. Surely Yuzu must know what she did was wrong … but then is it really right of Ruri to treat her so harshly? Is it so wrong for Ruri to judge what Yuzu did? And what will that even solve—loneliness, separation, secrecy? 

_ Miss Ray said being a puella magi is lonely. You learn not to trust others, to cast everyone aside because of who you are and what you have to do. So if I can learn anything from that, it’s that I need to stay with Yuzu. _

Ruri forces a smile. She brings her hands close to her heart, and in the warmest voice she can muster, she says, “I know I’ll be a burden, and maybe you want to be alone … but if you’d like company, can I come along …? I promise to stay out of your way, of course, and I won’t be in any danger, so don’t—”

“Yeah.”

Ruri stills. “Y—yeah?”

Yuzu nods her head. Her cheeks have grown a dusty pink like the highlights of her hair, and even the harsh, artificial lighting can’t wreck the natural beauty Yuzu exudes. She takes a deep breath and lets it mist out in front of her. Snatching up Ruri’s hand, she brings it to her heart. 

“I’m … really happy.”

Ruri nods. She feels something quiver over her hand though. When she looks down, her eyes widen—Yuzu’s hands … they’re shaking. And not gently too, but tremors that could shake the centre of the earth. Now that Ruri looks even more closely, past Yuzu’s radiant confidence, she sees her lips quivering, and her wide, wet eyes.

_ Was she crying before she left the house? _

Yuzu looks down at their hands and laughs, a hollow sound devoid of joy. “Ah … yeah …”

Ruri swallows thickly.

“Pretty pathetic, huh?” Yuzu says. She squeezes Ruri’s hands, but it doesn't stop them from shaking. “Cold, isn’t it?”

Ruri nods her head. What else can she say? What can she do to help? She’s helpless, hopeless—

Yuzu draws their hands right up to her heart. “Thanks for coming tonight, Ruri. I know it might not be a lot of fun for you, and maybe you’re really scared too … but having you here makes me feel a little bit better, y’know?”

Ruri knows the feeling—or at least, she’s seen it before. She’s been in this moment before with Ray, encouraging her friend because that was the only thing she could do. It must be truly horrible to be a puella magi. The weight of the world bearing on your small shoulders is too much for one person, or even for a handful of girls. Distantly, Ruri wonders if this is how Serena feels. She’s like Ray, a radiant goddess, but then Ray was also lonely and scared.

Serena has never shown that side to Ruri before. She wonders if she’ll ever get to see it.

A pit burns in her throat. Yuzu’s hands thump against her rising and falling chest.

Without another thought, Ruri embraces Yuzu. Just like with Ray, Ruri holds Yuzu as tightly as she can, bringing their chests and hips together. Ruri presses her cheek into Yuzu’s neck and lets her head loll on Yuzu’s shivering shoulders. Yuzu’s hands still at first, and then they fist in the back of Ruri’s jacket.

“Ruri,” she whispers. “T-thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ruri says. “I’ll be here with you all night, Yuzu. I promise—I won’t ever leave you—”

“But—but like Ray—”

“I won’t let that happen,” Ruri says. “You’ll never been alone, Yuzu. I promise.”

Yuzu nods, and Ruri hears her let out one tired sob. 

The cold air bites at their cheeks and hands and necks, and Ruri draws herself closer to Yuzu. She can feel Yuzu’s tears dripping onto her neck; against her chest, Yuzu quakes with muted sobs. Ruri knows how embarrassed Yuzu can get about crying, and so she doesn’t release Yuzu until she knows she has let all of her emotions out.

“Ruri?”

“Hm?”

“If you’re there, with me … it’ll be all right.”

_ I hope so,  _ Ruri thinks, but she doesn’t dare say that to Yuzu. Her friend doesn’t need to hear that.

When they break away, Yuzu rubs hastily at her wet eyes with the corners of her sleeves. She looks sheepish, but Ruri doesn’t stare or ask any further questions. She has unshed tears in her eyes too, but she lets them fall. Maybe, if Yuzu sees her cry, she’ll know she’s not alone. Besides, Ruri has cried so many times today that it feels like second nature. Whoever said crying is cathartic did not know though how tiring it can become. Ruri feels like she’s hanging by a single, thread-bare string.

Once Yuzu is cleaned up, she glances from left to right around the block. “Where is he …” she murmurs.

Ruri doesn’t get a chance to ask who Yuzu is talking about. From thin air pops Zarc, the little black dragon with glassy, green eyes. He glances from Yuzu to Ruri, and then leaps through the empty air to nestle against Yuzu’s shoulder. He brushes his nose against her cheek, and Yuzu leans into the touch.

“Going out tonight?” Zarc says. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Zarc leans his head towards her. “You’re taking her though?”

Yuzu nods. “For good luck.”

Zarc’s eyes narrow though to thin slits. “That will be dangerous, don’t you think? Ruri hasn’t made a contract.”

It feels like a blow to her heart, but Yuzu shakes her head. “No, it’s better if Ruri is here. With her around, I won’t act so recklessly. I have to take care of both of us.”

Ruri dares not voice to unspoken thought that, were she not around, Yuzu  _ would  _ fight recklessly and possibly injure herself. That sounds far too true to what Serena said over ice cream, and Ruri doesn’t want to think about that. 

“I … see,” Zarc says. Then he rolls his shoulders and flicks his tail back and forth. “Oh well—so long as you have a plan, Yuzu.”

Yuzu clenches her hands in fists. “I do.” Glancing over her shoulder, she says to Ruri, “Let’s head out now. We’ll start looking in the city centre, where that attack happened with Mieru. I want to make sure no more dragons are hiding in that area.”

Ruri nods her head. She follows behind Yuzu though, lagging. The last time Zarc saw them, it was on the rooftop when they both denied making contracts. Zarc said he was leaving them for good … so how come he came back? And he was never around many puella magi anyways; at least, he never seemed to be. He didn’t follow Ray or Serena around since he was with Ruri during those times.

As if the dragon could sense her thoughts, Zarc snaps his head back towards her. Ruri feels her blood run colder than the deepest part of the ocean.

_ Do you have a plan too, Ruri? _

_ … huh?  _ Ruri says. 

_ The work of a puella magi is dangerous. Yuzu is a strong girl and a brave warrior, and with you around she won’t be so careless. But that might cost her, don’t you think? She might try to protect you and hurt herself?  _

Ruri knows Yuzu would do that. She’s selfless when it comes to her friend.

_ You already know what can happen to puella magi, right? Or, what  _ will  _ happen to them. Everyone dies, Ruri, and Yuzu is no exception. However, there are ways to help her. When the time comes—when Yuzu will be in peril—do you have a plan to protect her? Is she worth fighting for? _

_ Yes.  _ Ruri doesn’t hesitate to answer. She’ll do anything for her friends. 

_ I’m here in case that happens. When the time comes, Ruri, I’ll be here to make your contract. _


	16. Sixteen

Everything about going dragon hunting with Yuzu feels wrong.

For one, they’re hunting dragons—dangerous, deformed dragons straight out of nightmares. Ruri feels like they’re walking into a trap just wandering around the dimly lit streets looking for them. Every shadow Ruri sees has her spooked; every noise makes her jump out of her skin. She was already quite the fraidy-cat, but this is worse than any haunted house she’s ever been in.

It also doesn't help that it’s dark. The night sky is covered in dark, depressing clouds that hide the stars and moon. Ruri, Yuzu, and Zarc travel by street lights. Unfortunately, the places Yuzu tends to check are the darkest, dreariest areas of Maiami City, woefully absent of natural or artificial light. Ruri worries that a dragon might not attack them—what about a mugger or kidnapper? Surely they shouldn’t be out this late at night to begin with …

“Yuzu, does your dad …?”

“Think I’m studying alone in my room?” she interrupts. “Yeah. He doesn’t know I’m out of the house.”

A sick feeling swirls in Ruri’s gut. If Yuzu … dies, her father will never know that his daughter left the house. What will he think? She was kidnapped? Then again though, it’s not as if Shun knows much more. He knows she’s staying out late and not coming home after school, but she hasn’t told him anything about where she’s going or what she’s doing. If she died, Shun would only think she’d been kidnapped and gone missing too.

“Will you … tell him?”

Yuzu shakes her head. She peers around an alleyway, pausing for a moment. Ruri wonders what Yuzu is looking for, but when she has a chance to ask Yuzu continues forward. 

“I think it’s best if he doesn't know.” She glances over her shoulder. “Told your brother where you are tonight?”

Ruri shakes her head.

“Thought so.” She shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter anyways. My dad trusts me. My dad knows I’m smart and brave, and he’d … understand. If I could tell him I was a puella magi, he’d understand.”

Ruri doesn’t think Shun would feel quite the same way. Yuzu’s father is the kind of dad who’s always trusted Yuzu’s instincts and followed her lead. Meanwhile, Shun has been a bit more overprotective, especially since their parents died. As Ruri’s primary caregiver, he’s taken it upon himself to protect his little sister with his life. Ruri appreciates the dedication, she truly does, but sometimes she does feel suffocated by his overbearingness.

Yuzu suddenly turns down an alleyway.

“Are you  _ sure  _ this is the way?” Ruri asks. Why can’t they be hunting dragons in the daylight, or even in a lit part of town? She can barely see Yuzu even though she’s not more than ten steps ahead of her.

“Course,” Yuzu says. “Come on, Ruri—just walk right behind me and you’ll be fine.”

Ruri nods her head. She scampers towards Yuzu and stays as close as she can. Her fingers itch to hold Yuzu’s hand again. They’d never be separated either, and … Ruri is scared. She’s shaking too, and her stomach hurts as badly as it did earlier. When she hears a crack on the ground, her head feels faint and her vision blurs.

The further they travel into the alleyway, the colder it gets. Ruri begins to see spots in her eyes, and she wonders if she really is going to pass out. But then, up ahead of her, Zarc comments, “Oh hey, we’re in a familiar’s barrier.”

“A familiar’s barrier?” Yuzu echoes. “No dragon?”

Zarc shakes his head. “You can tell because the barrier is flickering. Those dots you’re seeing aren’t a pattern or anything—that’s the thinness of the barrier. If you tried to touch those dots, your hand would go through the barrier and you’d feel the outside world. 

“Familiars aren’t as strong as dragons, and they don’t normally attack puella magi. It’s like familiars know they aren’t a match for a puella magi, so instead they’ll seek out the protection of a dragon. Don’t worry though—there aren’t any dragons nearby if you don’t see their barriers. You’re safe here, actually.”

Yuzu lets out a sigh of relief, but Ruri still holds her breath. Just because familiars aren’t as strong doesn't mean they can’t hurt them.

“Zarc?” Yuzu asks. “Can I … kill them?”

“The familiars? Be my guest.”

For just a second, the alleyway bursts with light. Ruri hears a symphony in her ears and feels heat on her cheeks, and when she can see again Yuzu has transformed into a beautiful puella magi. Her dress makes her look like a princess ready for tea, but her twin fans give her a warrior-like appearance. Yuzu spins the fans like wooden batons, looking left and right around the alleyway.

“Now, where are they …”

Ruri sees something flash across her vision.

Yuzu sees it too. She darts forward, fans raised, and slashes at the shape. The familiar bursts out like a balloon, and then explodes across the side of the barrier. Ruri gags at what looks like blood, but when the barrier seems to swallow up the remains of the familiar and it disappears. It happens in the blink of an eye too—one second there’s a familiar flying through the air, and the next second the three of them are alone in the alleyway again.

Yuzu lets out a whoop of joy.

“You see that, Ruri? You see that familiar there? It didn’t stand a chance.”

“Good hit, Yuzu!” Zarc says.

Ruri swallows. Could that familiar have hurt Yuzu? Ruri has never been good with probability, but what’s the likelihood they’ll come away from this night unscathed? What’s the likelihood they’ll all be alive by the end of the night?

If Yuzu is scared, she doesn’t show it. She dances through the night, slicing at the familiars both high and low. Yuzu’s acrobatic skills give her speed and flexibility. Like an entertainer, she leaps from ledge to ledge. She fights with a smile. And the familiars don’t stand a chance against her. Unlike a dragon, the familiars seems to only need one hit to take them down, and so Yuzu doesn’t have to dwell on lengthy battles. The fights seem to be over before they’ve started.

Thankfully, the barrier sucks up the blood and bodies too. Ruri feels on the verge of vomiting more than once, but she keeps swallowing back the acidic taste. The last thing she needs to do is appear weak around Yuzu and Zarc. 

“Do you just … keep fighting them?” Ruri says to Zarc. She watches Yuzu chop another one to bits. “How many of them are there?”

“This is just practice,” Zarc says. “It’s probably best she doesn’t take on a dragon on her first few nights—”

Yuzu’s sword bounces off of a familiar. The moment Ruri hears that sound, her heart beats a million times per second and her mind spins like a top. What’s happening? What’s gone wrong? What’s different? Are they in danger? Should they run? Should they fight? Her eyes dart from side to side, looking for danger. However, the figure makes herself known without any prompting, stepping out from the shadows. She’s crouched above them on a ledge. She looks about their age, with feisty green hair tangled around her head. She wears white shorts and a tight, biker-style jacket with two coat-tails that float in the breeze. Most imposing about the girl is her orange, cat-like eyes that glow in the night.

“That’s a waste of your time, you know? Familiars don’t drop Grief Seeds.”

Yuzu looks up, scowling. “Oh yeah?”

Yuzu probably meant for it to be a challenge, or at least Ruri thinks so, but Rin nearly topples off her perch when she begins to laugh. She holds herself together by a single hand on the wall, though she still hangs her head off the side and laughs until her face is pink.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” she says. “Did Zarc not even tell you that much—”

“He did—”

“—so you think you’re actually  _ contributing— _ ”

Yuzu winds her arm back and throws her fan as hard and as fast as she can at Rin. Yuzu has good aim too, another perk of being an acrobat and entertainer. Rin sees the projectile though, and she throws herself to the side and out of the line of fire before she gets hit. She tumbles down from the ledge, but like Yuzu she’s talented—or just not as uncoordinated as Ruri can be—and she lands gracefully on her feet.

“Oh hey,” Zarc says, as if he’s just noticed the new figure, “Rin’s here.”

“Rin?” Yuzu and Ruri repeat.

Rin brushes herself off. Now that she’s on the ground and in the dim light, Ruri can see that Rin is a bit taller than both of them—long-limbed as if she’s caught in a growth spurt, and with a wiry frame belying her strength. Rin’s shorts flare out around her thin legs, yet her biker jacket is tight across her torso and breasts. She has her collar popped out. She also has … a weapon. It’s a metal pole, nothing fancy but … purposeful. Ruri suspects it would hurt to be hit by that.

Next to Ruri, Yuzu stands with her fans in front of her. She looks ready to pounce should Rin step forward, but then she throws her fan at a passing familiar. Again, her fan bounces clean off; like a boomerang, it returns to Yuzu’s hands. Instead of being confused though, Yuzu turns right around and glares at Rin.

“Hey!”

“What?” Rin says.

“That familiar is going to get away.”

Rin admires her nails, lips pursed. “So?” she drawls.

“So—so!” Yuzu balls her hands in fists. “I don’t care if familiars are weaker than dragons—that thing can still hurt people, and it’s going to attack some—”

“So?”

Rin’s voice cuts Yuzu off. Ruri stops breathing, and she forces herself to take a deep, shuddering breath. Yuzu looks to be struggling for breath to. 

“W-what the hell does that mean?” Yuzu says. She tightens her grip on her fans. It feels like a showdown between puella magi. On the sidelines, Ruri only feels more and more useless.

“Hey!” Yuzu shouts. “What does that mean?”

Rin turns towards Zarc though. She leans against her metal pole; Ruri notices that its base is stuck inside a sewer drain, and it pops open the hatch and makes a loud, clanging noise. It rings in Ruri’s ears. However, it also drowns out the faraway noises of cars on the road and trains on the track. What else though? Ruri glances around, searching for familiars hidden in the shadows. With two puella magi around, they should be safe … but then Rin seems like the kind of puella magi Serena told her about—girls that fight each other.

Ruri reaches out a hand. Maybe, if she and Yuzu ran, they could get away. Would Zarc help them, or would he help Rin? It appears he knows Rin too.

“Zarc, did you tell that newbie anything?” Rin asks, flicking her head towards Yuzu. 

“Tell me  _ what,”  _ Yuzu says. Her knuckles have gone white around the handles of her fan, and her ankles have risen from the ground. She looks ready to fight or flee … mostly likely fight.

Rin turns to Yuzu. “You know what a familiar is, don’t you?”

Yuzu nods her head. “The apprentice of a dragon, or something like—”

“Not even close,” Rin says. “Familiars are baby dragons, or however else you want to describe them. But familiars are pretty useless until they become dragons, and to do that … they need to eat humans. Not many of them, just four or five. But if you let a familiar become a dragon, you get a Grief Seed.”

Ruri swallows.  _ No … _

Rin shrugs her shoulders. “Why would you kill a chicken before it’s laid its eggs?”

_ No … _

“No!” Yuzu throws her fan at Rin. It bounces off Rin’s weapon, arcing back through the night sky back toward Yuzu. She jumps and catches it in her open palm, and nearly throws it again with her next words. “Why would you wait for it to kill people?”

“Because you get a Grief Seed from it,” Rin says. “There’s no reward for killing familiars, and no punishment for letting humans die—”

“That’s wrong!” Yuzu throws her fan again.

This time though, Rin fights back. She hits the fan out of the air, but keeps flying forward, charing into Yuzu and knocking her back against the wall. Yuzu’s head collides with the wall and she lets out a groaning gasp. Ruri gasps as well, and dashes forward. She hears Yuzu say something, maybe to try and tell her to not get in the way of the fight, but to hell with that. Yuzu is in danger and Ruri can’t stand around for that!

The blow hasn’t put a damper on Yuzu’s fighting spirit. She pushes herself off the wall, stumbling forward as she gathers her ground. 

“That’s wrong!” she says again. “You’re saying we should  _ let  _ it kill people?”

“Well, yeah,” Rin says. She doesn't look bothered at all, and that only seems to make Yuzu madder. They’re polar opposites, ice and fire. 

And Ruri? She’s just … useless. 

Yuzu dashes forward, heading towards where the familiars might be hiding. Ruri hasn’t seen them, though she supposes with all the racket they are making the familiars might just know to stay back. Rin stops Yuzu right in her tracks though, swinging her metal pole and knocking Yuzu once more into the wall. Rin looks bored by it all too, as if fighting back isn’t even expending any of her energy.

After Rin knocks Yuzu back one more time, she raises her hand. “All right, enough, enough—I think you’re missing the point here, so I’ll spell it out for you. Dragons and familiars both eat the same thing: weak humans, the kind with no light in their eyes and no future waiting for them. And we puella magi feed on dragons.”

“But—”

Rin shakes her head. “Still talking,” she snaps. “You’re in school, aren’t you? Then you must know about the food chain, or the circle of life, or whatever you want to call it. The thing is that familiars will always eat weak humans and turn into dragons, and puella magi will always kill dragons to earn Grief Seeds. That’s  _ our  _ circle of life. That’s  _ our  _ fate—”

“You  _ liar!”  _ Yuzu screeches. “I’m not fighting humans!” 

“And you aren’t—the moment a human is eaten by a familiar, they are no longer human. They are  _ consumed  _ so that a familiar can become a dragon.”

Now Ruri feels truly sick, and she coughs weakly into her hand. She feels like she could vomit at any moment, but then her mind is hazy and her legs are weak, and her body seems content letting her suffer instead. She doesn't want to think about the familiars or dragons or puella magi or  _ any of this, how did she get involved in this, why— _

Rin leans against her pole again, her cheek pressed to the cold metal. “Say, Yuzu, you’re the one who made the contract for  _ that boy,  _ didn’t you?”

Yuzu’s face blanches to the colour of milk. Ruri has never seen that colour on Yuzu’s face, not even during her first stage performance, not even when Ray died, not even tonight for her fight patrol as a puella magi. For the first time, Yuzu looks truly frightened and she can’t hide it from anyone. And while Ruri wishes she didn’t know what those words meant, she does. She knows who Yuzu cares deeply for, and who she would have made a wish for …

“You thought that if you made your wish to save him, then you could save others, couldn’t you? You probably were doing it to be a hero, or to bring peace and justice to the world. Well …” Rin leans forward, popping the words out of her pink lips. “You’re the stupidest puella magi I’ve ever met.”

Yuzu charges, doesn't even hold back, flies through the night and crashes into Rin. The two girls go tumbling one on top of the other, separated by Rin’s metal pole. She wields it like a staff and a shield, blocking Yuzu’s fan attacks and jabbing with it. Ruri steps back and out of their way, but she tries to get their attention.

“Hey, hey, stop!” she says.

They wouldn’t be able to hear her even if she screamed the words out.

“You fucking newbie,” Rin says, pushing Yuzu away.

They break apart, both breathing heavily. The clash has only been for a moment, but Yuzu already looks taxed, sweat dripping from her face. Rin looks better, though even her chest rises and falls with her pants.

But Rin recovers quicker. She jumps up to the side of the building and someone manages to find a hold on it. Just as Ruri spots her only the wall though, Rin jumps again, and this time Ruri doesn’t see where she lands. She hears Yuzu scream though, and that’s all she needs to know.

Yuzu crashes to the ground, blood pouring from an open wound on her stomach. She screams in agony, curling it on herself. Both of her fans fall to the ground with her, stained with her own blood Ruri comes dashing forward, but as soon as she takes a step forward Rin’s pole swings round and cuts off her access.

“Ah ah ah,” Rin says. “I wouldn’t move if I were you, kid.”

Ruri swallows. She … can’t. She can’t fight Rin or else she’ll be injured too, and then she won’t be able to help Yuzu at all. She needs to get help too, but who is there? Zarc is here, but he sits on a nearby crate, flicking his tail from side to side. He doesn't look like he’ll intervene soon. The only other puella magi Ruri knows is Serena, but who knows where she could be?

_ Could the police even help us? Do the police know of familiars and dragons and puella magi? … no. This is a problem … I have to fix this on my own. _

Rin jabs her pole into Yuzu’s gut. Yuzu coughs roughly, spitting out a glob of tacky blood. She squints as if trying to clear her vision, braces an arm against the ground. Though it seems to sap her very life away, Yuzu manages to stand on her own two feet. Ruri gasps into her cupped hands, but the sound isn’t nearly as loud compared to Rin.

“What the fuck …? You should still be down, even hospitalised—”

From his perch on the boxes, Zarc speaks up: “Her wish did more than just heal that boy—she can heal herself too.”

Ruri nods. “That means …”

“She can still die,” Zarc interrupts. “She’s not invincible.”

Now that she’s standing though, Ruri wholeheartedly believes that Yuzu could be invincible. Her legs don’t shake, and she slicks back her blood-stained hair so that it’s no longer hanging in her face. In her eyes is liquid fire.

Rin recovers from her surprise and swings her weapon in front of her, using it as a shield should Yuzu charge. “Well, that sucks,” she says, and then adds, “But you’re still a newb to puella magi stuff, so don’t get all cocky.”

Yuzu swings. Her body moves faster than the speed of light, and her fans hit Rin’s pole with a booming clang that echoes all throughout the alley. Yuzu doesn’t just hit once though—she keeps attacking, swinging her arms high above her head. Years of gymnastics have strengthened every muscle in her body. She doesn't even look like she’s been fighting, the sweat having dripped away from her body.

“You’re the idiot!” Yuzu screams. “You don’t get it when I talk to you, and you definitely don’t get it when I hit you—so you better damn well listen, Miss Rin!”

Rin leaps to the side. It’s the same move as before, heading to the walls to ricochet off them and hit Yuzu. Only Rin stops herself up on the wall. The moon has begun to peek through the clouds, and it lights up one half of Rin’s disturbing smile. “You’re the one who’s not listening, Yuzu, and I won’t repeat myself again. Looks like I’ll have no choice but to  _ kill you.” _

Rin lunges.

Yuzu is just as fast though, and not falling for the same mistake twice. She jumps up against the wall, and then flies overtop of Rin. She parries the attacks that come at her. She gets hit, but her body recovers quickly and keeps her going.

The more Ruri watches though, the sicker she feels. It truly does look like what Serena told her—puella magi fighting each other for territory, for Grief Seeds, for their own wishes. There aren’t even any dragons around.

“C-can puella magi … kill each other?” Ruri asks Zarc.

“Why wouldn’t they be able to?” Zarc says.

“But they’re on the same side.” 

“Says who?”

Ruri swallows. 

“I know you care deeply for Yuzu, Ruri,” Zarc says, “but you have to face the fact that she’s a puella magi now and this is her life. She’ll always be fighting—familiars, dragons, and other puella magi. She’ll never escape this life, as she gave it up for her wish.”

With tears in her eyes, Ruri shakes her head. “Please, Zarc … make them stop.” She whispers it once more, but the sounds of Rin and Yuzu’s fight drowns out any other noises. They keep swinging their weapons at once another, never stopping. Occasionally one of them screams at the other, but they never break apart for long.

“Please, Zarc,” Ruri pleads.

“Only another puella magi can come between their fight,” Zarc says. He glances towards Rin and Yuzu with narrowed, green eyes. “I don’t know who else can help them Ruri … except you. You have the ability to stop them—if you really wish to, that is.”

The wish. Ruri forgot about it, too strung up in the fighting and misery that seems to have become her life. But if she became a puella magi, what would that solve? She and Yuzu would never fight one another, but then her life too would become fighting dragons and earning Grief Seeds. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Ruri sees Yuzu fall to her knees, coughing up blood. Rin sees it too. She leaps up in the air, weapon poised and ready to sink it through Yuzu’s head—

Ruri swallows—

_ Make a contract with me, Kurosaki Ruri. _

—and then she hears Rin’s pole ricochet off of something  _ metal,  _ something that certainly wasn’t Yuzu’s fan or anything in the alleway, and through all the noise and clatter and screaming and coughing someone’s clear voice cuts through:

“That won’t be necessary.”

Ruri feels hot, sticky tears run down her cheeks.

Serena is here.


	17. Seventeen

The excitement of seeing Serena is short-lived. As soon as she appears, Rin swings around and lets out one more, “The fuck?” Her weapon isn’t broken, but it didn’t hit its mark at all. Yuzu still crouches on the ground, bringing a bloody hand to her head. She takes a deep, wheezing breath, and hoists herself up to her feet. Serena doesn't move to help her, but Ruri feels safer with Serena here. Serena won’t attack Yuzu or Rin, not unless they start attacking each other.

To her side, Zarc chuckles under his breath. 

Rin charges again. “The fuck you want, punk?” she screams, jabbing her weapon at Serena. It clangs loudly against the shield, and as if she were only lifting a finger Serena dodges and parries each of Rin’s attacks. Unlike Yuzu who gets tired from these fights, Serena doesn’t even break a sweat. Her expression doesn’t even change, and that only seems to make Rin angrier. Her lunges become stronger albeit sloppier. Her feet scrape on the ground and her arms quake with her attack.

If Ruri had to be honest, she’d say Rin doesn’t stand a chance against Serena.

Rin seems to realise this too. Eventually, after Serena dodges yet another one of her attacks, Rin huffs out a laugh. “You’re the irregular one, aren't you?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Serena says.

Meanwhile, Yuzu has lifted herself up off the ground and shaken away her disorientation. She glances first towards Rin, and then to Serena. Her eyes are small, pink slivers, like jagged sakura petals. Ruri sees Yuzu jump, fans in either hand, but she doesn’t go towards Rin but instead towards Serena.

_ No! What?  _ Ruri swallows back a gasp.  _ What are you— _

Serena swings her hand around just as Yuzu prepares for her hit. Her hand hits Yuzu squarely in the side of the head, right at her temple, and like a doll with all its strings cut Yuzu crumples listlessly to the floor. She doesn’t get up, doesn't even raise her head or groan. 

Ruri screams. “Yuzu—Yuzu, no!” She won’t stand by any longer now. She charges towards Yuzu and crashes to her knees on the dirty pavement. The wet ground soils her socks and skirt, and her knees sting from where she crashed, but Ruri doesn’t care. She tugs Yuzu’s head up onto her lap and brushes her blood-soaked bangs from her forehead. There isn’t a mark on her head, surprisingly, but that doesn’t means she wasn’t hurt.

“Yuzu,” Ruri pleads. “Wake up, Yuzu—open your eyes—”

Having hopped down from his spot on the crates, Zarc approaches her and leans towards Yuzu’s head. “I think she’s just unconscious, Ruri.”

That’s still too much. Yuzu shouldn’t have been in this fighting, nor should anyone else be. Ruri raises her head and glares daggers at Rin and Serena. There’s no reason for puella magi to fight, not in Ruri’s books. How dare these girls think they can fight one of their own. Serena at least has the gall to look sympathetic, but Rin huffs and looks to the side.

“She’s fine, isn’t she?” Serena says to Ruri. “I just meant to knock her unconscious.”

Ruri shakes her head. Nothing about this is  _ fine,  _ but if she dares open her mouth she’ll cry or vomit or even pass out.

Rin turns towards Serena, crossing her arms. “Hey, whose side are you on?”

“No one’s.”

Rin flicks the end of her pole up and at Serena’s face, holding it so close that if Serena so much as swayed forward the jagged end of the pole would go into her eye.

“Not an answer,” Rin says. 

Serena purses her lips. “I’m on the side of anyone who knows how to keep cool and fight responsibly, and against any puella magi who are stupid enough to fight senselessly.” Serena tilts her head to the side, and moonlight drip down her ponytailed hair. “Whose side are you on, Izayoi Rin?”

For the first time all night, Rin looks visibly frightened, her face going as pale as the moon and her orange eyes losing their shimmer. Then her face hardens like a rock, her entire body language screams run, and she jabs her weapon forward.

Serena twists her head to the side to avoid it.

“How do you know my name? We’ve never met before—I don’t even know you!”

Serena shrugs.

Rin lunges once more, but just like the previous time Serena remains one step ahead of her, leaning left and right to easily avoid the attacks. The more she dodges, the angrier Rin becomes. There’s not much else she can do though. 

On the sidelines, Ruri cradles Yuzu in her arms. She thinks about leaving and running, but then again Serena is here protecting them. Serena is on their side, or at least Ruri hopes so. And a part of her doesn’t want to leave Serena by herself. What would happen if she was injured? Ruri could drag both Yuzu and Serena home if she really put her mind to it, or she’d call an ambulance and get them both medical care.

But then Rin stops, pulling her weapon back and fastening it over her shoulders. She lets one arm hang there. Now that she’s stopped moving and screaming, Ruri can see how  _ tired  _ Rin looks—dark circles under her eyes, sweat pouring down her face and neck. Her breath comes in ragged pants, and she coughs several times.

“ … fine,” Rin says at last. “Fine, whatever.”

Serena raises a narrow eyebrow.

“I have no idea who you are or what you’re doing, but I’ll back down for today—”

“A wise decision,” Serena interrupts.

Rin laughs. “You’re a pretty lame fighter anyways.”

Serena doesn’t say anything. 

It’s Rin who leaves first. She spins around, swinging her pole, and then leaps up towards the building. Though she’s wearing green and white and pink, she disappears into the night sky in the blink of an eye. Ruri doesn’t even realise she’s gone until she notices how  _ quiet  _ it is in the alley without Rin. The only sounds now are her gasping breaths and the click-clack of Serena’s shoes on the cement.

Serena comes and crouches down next to Yuzu, so close that Ruri could reach out and touch her. Ruri feels her cheeks grow hot and a new emotion swirl in her belly, but just when she thinks about smiling at Serena, maybe even thanking her, Serena growls low in her throat.

“I thought I told you not to get involved in this.”

Ruri is glad she hasn’t looked up yet. She doesn’t want to see how angry Serena is with her because she can feel it, and it feels like a wave that threatens to swallow Ruri up.

Serena goes on: “I’ve said it before—I’ve  _ warned you,  _ Ruri, and still you won’t listen to me. Still you’re here, getting in trouble, meddling with puella magi. You put your life on the line every time you’re out here, and as harsh as it is to say, if you get caught in the crossfire of a fight you will  _ die.” _

Ruri swallows.

“Do you want to die, Ruri?”

She shakes her head.

“Then how come you’re out here? How come you went dragon-hunting with Yuzu?”

Ruri doesn’t even want to know how Serena knows about that. It doesn't matter anyways. She feels like she’s receiving a scolding from Shun. She gets how protective Serena can be too, and that she’s saying this in Ruri’s best interests—but what was she supposed to do? Let Yuzu fight by herself? Leave her all alone? 

“How stupid can you be, Ruri?”

It stings. It hurts to hear Serena’s anger, even if it comes from a place of caring. Ruri holds tightly to Yuzu just so that she can ground herself and not cry, though she feels the tears begin to prick in the corners of her eyes. 

“Please Ruri, think about yourself for once.” Serena stands, brushing her skirts clean. “I won’t hesitate to kill if my opponent is an idiot.”

Then she’s gone, through the darkness that swallows her whole. The last thing Ruri sees is the yellow ribbon in Serena’s hair, just as jagged as a weapon, just as bright as a Soul Gem. Ruri’s fingers stroke the Soul Gem on Yuzu’s bracelet. It’s a bit cloudy from her fight with Rin, but overall not as cloudy as Ruri remembers seeing Ray’s. 

At her side, Ruri feels Zarc rub against her leg.

“Can you carry her home?” Zarc asks.

Ruri nods. She runs her fingers through Yuzu’s hair, and then carefully lifts Yuzu’s body up. Though they’re the same height, and with Yuzu built of solid muscle, Ruri lags for a moment. Then she gets Yuzu’s body up and onto her back, and though it tires her, Ruri carries Yuzu all the way back to her apartment. Ruri wonders how she’ll get Yuzu home if she’s unconscious; it’s not like she can just pop Yuzu through the window, or that she can walk up to Yuzu’s front door and get caught by Yuzu’s father. Fortunately, halfway through the walk back Yuzu stirs, lolling her head against Ruri’s neck.

“Hm?” she mutters.

Ruri hums under her breath. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah … ish.”

“How are you feeling?”

Yuzu doesn’t answer. She raises her head a bit, and when Ruri feels it thump back on her spine, Yuzu asks, “Hey … where are we going?”

“Back home—your home, actually.” Ruri adjusts her hold of Yuzu, and turns a corner down a starlit street. The closer she gets to Yuzu’s house, the safer she feels. It’s late enough at night that no one is prowling the streets, and where Yuzu lives is a nice neighbourhood where no familiars or dragons should be. Zarc follows them both too, and though Ruri once worried about Zarc, he now feels like a protective charm. Should something go wrong, Ruri hopes her hardest that Zarc will alert them.

Yuzu lets out a large yawn and then wriggles her way out of Ruri’s grip. Ruri stops so that she can let Yuzu down, though she keeps her hands on Yuzu’s shoulders until she’s certain Yuzu won’t tumble to the ground. She’s too pale and shaky, and her eyes keep rolling closed like she’s exhausted herself of all her energy. 

“I’m fine, honestly,” Yuzu says. “I just had a good fight, like a good workout.”

Ruri doesn’t want to laugh, but she tries to for Yuzu’s sake.

“You can go home, you know? I’ll be fine.”

“I want to walk you home. Please.” Ruri swallows thickly. “Just let me do this, Yuzu.”

Yuzu rolls her eyes. She takes a step forward and sways like a pendulum. Ruri reaches out to steady her, and Yuzu gratefully leans into the hold. 

“OK fine, maybe you should walk me home. I’ll be good tonight though, don’t worry. I just need a shower and a good night’s sleep.”

Ruri doesn’t believe that for a second, but she holds tightly to Yuzu and walks her home. Their steps lag and fall like a music track that skips beats, but somehow Yuzu makes it up to her doorstep. She has a key in her pocket that she uses to open the door, so thankfully she can slip inside and wash the blood from her hair before her father sees her. At the doorway though, she pauses and turns back to Ruri. With a smile, she hugs Ruri as tightly as she can.

It’s the hug Ruri will always treasure, the full-body kind that warms her from the inside out. Ruri wishes Yuzu would never let go of her. What if this is the last hug she ever receives from Yuzu? What if that fight ended differently? What is Serena hadn’t shown up?

_ What if she made a contract? _

“Thanks, Ruri,” Yuzu says to her. 

“Hm?” Ruri says.

Yuzu squeezes her shoulders. “You know what I mean.”

Ruri does, but she wishes Yuzu might tell her once more, for all Ruri remembers of that night is how helplessly terrified she felt watching her best friend fight someone who Ruri thought should have been on the same team as them.

* * *

When Yuzu closes the door, she tries not to see Ruri’s red-rimmed eyes, or her pink cheeks and nose, or the way she keeps trying to hold back her sobs by holding her breath. Yuzu could tell the entire walk that Ruri was trying her hardest not to cry, and she did a good job considering she also had to carry Yuzu at least fifteen blocks. Yuzu raises a sticky hand to her forehead and sighs as softly as she can. Sure, she made a real mess of things … but then was there any way for her not to? This is the kind of work puella magi do, right?

It still makes her sick to her stomach. It makes her regret taking Ruri with her and thinking this would make things better. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, but she put Ruri in harm’s way to make herself feel a bit safer. 

As quiet as she can be, Yuzu sneaks up the stairs. She can hear her father in his office, no doubt filing paperwork for the duel school or organising curriculums. She hears him say, “Hey, sweetie!” and in the loudest, clearest voice she can muster, she answers, “Hey, dad!” Then she sneaks upstairs without another word and heads straight to the bathroom.

When she sees herself in the mirror, she nearly vomits. There’s not only blood in her hair but on her forehead, cheeks, and eyes as well. It has dried and crusted on her neck, and now that Yuzu can see herself properly she spots a dark red patch right across her chest. Did she get  _ stabbed  _ somewhere? The whole night is a blur to Yuzu, but she thought she might remember if she got fatally wounded!

Groaning, Yuzu turns on the tap and begins wetting her hair. She tries not to look at the blood that drips into the sink, red and runny and churning her already queasy stomach. She’s too tired to get in the shower, so she braces herself against the sink and cleans herself up the best that she can. When she’s done, she towels herself off, keeps the towel around her shoulders, and sneaks off into her bedroom.

On her bed, she finds Zarc. Sitting. Swishing his long, black tail.

Yuzu narrows her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you,” Zarc says. He crawls forward on the bed and stretches out his neck. “Lemme see your bracelet.”

Yuzu raises her hand to look at it herself. She hasn’t really cared much about the thing—what even is it for beyond aesthetics—but when she squints her eyes she sees that the gem is a cloudy, even a bit darker than she remembers it being. Yuzu remembers seeing Ray’s Soul Gem, and once it looked a bit cloudy too …

“You need a Grief Seed,” Zarc says. 

“Huh?”

“A Grief Seed,” Zarc repeats. “Your Soul Gem is cloudy, and you don’t want it to become tainted.” 

Yuzu opens her mouth to ask just where Zarc supposes she’s going to get one of those, when the little dragon procures from who-knows-where a Grief Seed - a pure black Grief Seed that Yuzu can’t even see her reflection in. Zarc holds it between his lips for her to take, and when Yuzu doesn't reach out for it, Zarc spits it towards her.

“You need it,” he says, “to get rid of the taint.”

“Taint?” Yuzu presses the Grief Seed to her Soul Gem. She feels her bracelet warm against her wrist, and somethings sticky and tar-like travels from her Soul Gem into the Grief Seed. She sees it grow even darker too, and the Grief Seed, unlike her bracelet, feels colder than ice. She wants to chuck it out the window and throw it away.

Zarc climbs up onto her shoulder and peers at the Grief Seed. “If it gets any blacker,” he muses, “it’ll turn into a dragon.”

Yuzu nearly throws the Grief Seed out the window. “W-what?” she squeaks. She clenches her fingers round it and swings her heads towards Zarc. “Wha—”

“Give it to me,” Zarc says though, and he plucks the Grief Seed from between her fingers. He takes it in his mouth and then  _ swallows  _ it whole, not even biting or chewing. Yuzu blinks her eyes just to make sure she didn’t just imagine it, and then she looks around in case Zarc tossed the Grief Seed on her blankets or the floor.

“Did … did you just eat it?” Yuzu says. Her voice catches, and she clears it. “That’s what you did, right? Eat the Grief Seed?”

“It’s one of my duties,” Zarc says, but he doesn’t elaborate on what those duties might be. “Don’t worry about this one, Yuzu. What matters is that your Soul Gem is still a little cloudy, isn’t it? You’ll need to get your hands on another Grief Seed to completely purify it. You should think about how you’re going to take down a dragon by yourself; after all, killing a familiar won’t reward you with anything.”

Yuzu nods dazedly. She twirls her bracelet around on her shoulder, noting the off-colour pink tone to it. Now she remembers the haziness of Ray’s bracelet, and how she had to purify it. Come to think of it though, Ray never explained why she had to do it though, and Yuzu never bothered to ask her.

“Zarc …” Yuzu says. “Hey, Zarc. Is keeping this thing here … my Soul Gem … really that important?”

It’s as if she’s asked the most crucial question in the universe. Zarc turns to face her and Yuzu sees the world in his green eyes. 

“Your Soul Gem will never stay pure. When you use your magic, you accumulate taint, or that black stuff that discolours the purity of your Soul Gem. The only way to get the taint out is to gather Grief Seeds. Why you need to keep your Soul Gem pure is because you need magic to defeat dragons: you need to keep yourself at tip-top shape and maximum power, so when you fight you want to make sure you’re getting a reward that will serve you.”

Again with the rewards. To Yuzu, a reward for fighting familiars and dragons is keeping her friends and family safe. She was terrified when she saw Mieru under the effect of the dragon’s curse. And what about Yuuya—when he was in the hospital, he would never have been able to protect himself if he was attacked. At any moment someone she loves could be targeted by a familiar or dragon.

Zarc settles down next to her, tilting his narrow head towards her. “That’s why Izayoi Rin is so strong—she’s only ever fights when her Soul Gem is filled and pure, and she normally only fights to kill dragons. She’s efficient—”

“She’s  _ horrible,”  _ Yuzu says. “You shouldn’t sacrifice innocent people for the sake of getting Grief Seeds.”

Zarc shrugs. “To each their own. As well, Rin’s strength might also have to do with the fact that she’s a highly skilled veteran puella magi like Ray.”

Ray’s name catches Yuzu off guard. “That matters?”

“Mhm. Ray never needed many Grief Seeds because she’d been a puella magi for so long. I’m afraid even I don’t know how that works, but the longer a puella magi is alive for, the hardier they become.”

Yuzu wonders how long it takes to become a veteran puella magi. Neither Ray nor Rin appear to be that old—they’re both junior high school students at the very least. And yet when Zarc talks about them it’s as if he’s recounting years of their service. Just how young were they when they became puella magi?

When Yuzu spots Zarc staring at her, she asks the first question that pops into her head: “Does that mean I don’t stand a chance against dragons? How am I going to get better without any experience? Survival?”

Zarc shrugs. “You’re not the best or the worst puella magi I’ve seen.”

“Gee, thanks,” Yuzu mutters. She twists the bracelet back and forth on her wrist. 

“But that’s normal, right? You don’t meet exceptional puella magi all that often. But”—Zarc’s grin grows across his reptilian face—“there are some girls with no experience all who become the strongest puella magis in existence, even stronger that Rin or Serena. Some girls are just talented like that.”

“Hm?” Yuzu says.

“I can tell a girl’s potential before she even makes the contract.”

This has Yuzu raising an eyebrow. “So you knew I wasn’t going to be the best of the best?”

Zarc nods his head.

“Rude.”

“But Yuzu, I still knew you’d become a strong puella magi. There are just some girls born with the talent to become exceptional puella magi.”

The more Zarc speaks, the angrier Yuzu feels. She crosses her arms over her chest and flops back on her bed. She sinks into the plush covers, and with her eyes on the star-patterned ceiling above her head, she asks, “So have you met one of these exceptional girls before?”

“I have.”

Yuzu pauses, frowns. “Who?”

“Kurosaki Ruri.”

Never before has Yuzu’s blood turned to ice, but she feels every part of her body slow down all at once. Yuzu wants to ask Zarc  _ Why  _ and  _ How do you know that? _ , but she knows that Zarc is telling the truth. He’s made contracts with hundreds of puella magi, so he’d know who has talent and who doesn’t. A sneaking suspicion in Yuzu’s heart tells her that Zarc made a contact with her so he could get closer to Ruri.

“You’re lying.”

“I am not. Kurosaki Ruri could become the strongest puella magi in the universe if she made a contract with me. That’s why, Yuzu, if you ever need help to fight Rin, you can always—”

“No thanks,” Yuzu interrupts. She flips herself forward, holding her bruised chin in one hand. “No fucking thanks. This my battle alone, not Ruri’s. Besides, she doesn’t want to become a puella magi anyways, and I wouldn’t want to burden her.”

“I think Ruri would give herself up for the greater good of others, just like you.”

Yuzu huffs. “And that’s why she should never make a contract. All right?”

Yuzu smiles when she sees Zarc flatten himself on the bed and close his eyes. Yet when Yuzu rolls over and tucks herself under the blanket, and turns off all the lights in the room, sleep doesn’t come easily to her. She tosses and turns with every thought her mind procures. Her greatest nightmare would be finding out that Ruri made a contract too.


	18. Eighteen

Rin hears Serena before she sees her. Well, actually she sees Serena in the mirror of the motorbike she’s wiping down. But Rin doesn't turn around, doesn’t even make any indication that she’s seen or heard Serena. She keeps wiping down the bike, getting her cloth into the grooves and ridges along the frame. If Rin hadn’t become a puella magi, she certainly would have become a mechanic and built racing bikes for a living. She would have had her own garage, and a partner, and a team, and she would have made the best bikes in all the dimensions.

Except she’s  _ here  _ instead, kneeling down on the ground, hands soaked with dirty water, and glaring into the bike mirror to keep an eye on Serena. She doesn’t announce her arrival, just stands a few feet back with her hands at her side. She has such a deadpan look that Rin wants to tell her to fuck off just so that Serena might scowl or frown.

Yet nothing of the sort happens.

After a few more minutes, Rin can’t take the silence or the staring any longer. She chucks her dirty rag in the wash bucket and turns around. “You want something?” 

“I want to leave this town in your care,” Serena says.

Rin waits for the rest of that sentence, but nothing else comes. Her eyebrows pull down across her forehead and over her cat-like eyes, but even when she pulls a face Serena says nothing more.

“Huh?” Rin says. “You want what?”

“To leave this town in your care,” Serena repeats.

“Why?” Rin is desperately curious for this answer. The last time she and Serena talked, which was last night if Rin remembers correctly, Serena was about to kill her. What happened since then? Serena doesn't seem like the type of girl to have a change of heart; hell, Rin believes Serena’s heart is cold as ice. She doesn't seem like the type to give up her territory or help anyone out, and so not even for a second does Rin believe Serena.

She stretches up to full height so that Serena isn’t looking down at her, and Rin crosses her arms tightly across her chest. “Really now? You’re just going to up and leave?”

Serena shakes her head. “I’m not going to fight you, Rin. I just think that this town would do well in your care.”

“As opposed to yours?”

“As opposed to Hiiragi Yuzu’s.”

A light bulb goes off in Rin’s head. So that’s why Serena is here. She doesn’t care about territory or anything—she’s watching out for the newbie puella magi, the spunky pink-haired squirt that Rin nearly impaled last night. Just thinking about Yuzu puts a sour, bile-like taste in Rin’s mouth.

“You can be here,” Serena continues, “but don’t go after Yuzu. I will take care of her.”

Take care of her? What is this, a puella magi babysitter’s club? The way Rin sees it, if you aren’t strong enough to be a puella magi nature will just take control and send you to the afterlife. She never thought Serena would be the kind of girl to take a newbie under her wing.

“You attached to Hiiragi or something?”

Serena shakes her head.

“Well then it doesn’t matter—she’ll die before I can eliminate her anyways.”

Serena doesn’t even budge an inch. Rin waits for a thank you, as she thinks Serena owes her one, but Serena doesn’t open her mouth. She doesn’t even change her expression, and when the silence begins to swallow them up again and make Rin’s skin itch, she begins to talk.

“I didn’t think I needed permission from you to come here though—I was planning on taking over this city from the start.”

“Good to know.” Serena moves at last, reaching up and flicking her ponytail from side to side. She has a ribbon in it, Rin notices—a large, yellow ribbon tied tightly around her hair, and with the ends spiking up in four different directions. 

“Are you going to be hanging around?” Rin says. “Take Hiiragi with you if you do—she’s a nuisance and she’ll be dead by herself.”

“Hiiragi Yuzu is not my property.” Rin notes that Serena doesn’t say that she  _ won’t  _ be protecting Yuzu though, and she tries to think about what a senior puella magi might have to gain from befriending a newer puella magi. In the past, Rin’s only ever made friends with puella magi to lure them to their deaths, and even then she hasn’t done that in a while. Betrayal has never sat well with her, so she’s only had to do it when she was really desperate for Grief Seeds.

Serena doesn’t seem like the kind of girl to do that. In fact, the more Rin stares at Serena, the more she can’t get  _ any  _ feel for the girl. It’s as if she’s a mystery wrapped up in a dozen more mysteries, and the moment Rin tries to tear the wrapping paper away, she finds herself hitting a wall. 

Softly, Serena clears her throat. “I’ll be gone in two weeks, Rin.”

“How come you know my name? And don’t call me that—I don’t even know you are and why you’re here.”

“I’m here because, two weeks from today, a dimensional dragon will appear in this city.”

“A … what?” Rin has never heard of a dimensional dragon before. She’s fought familiars and dragons, and so perhaps there are classifications of dragons that she’s fought … but she’s never been told any names before, and all the other puella magi that she’s met have never talked about types of dragons either.

“How do you know what that is?” Rin asks.

Serena shrugs her shoulders.

“Fuck, don’t be mysterious like that—tell me how you know what that is, and how you know that.”

“Can’t tell you—”

“Then how am I supposed to believe you?” Rin stamps a foot down on the ground and feels the tremors through the concrete. 

“I’m leaving the town after I kill the dimensional dragon,” Serena says. “So I’ll be here for two more weeks, and then I’ll be gone. You can do whatever you want with the city after that.”

“I can do whatever I want with the city  _ before  _ that too.” Rin nearly spits the words out, though she hugs herself as she feels a shiver run down her spine. There are some things she doesn't know about being a puella magi, or about familiars and dragons, and she wonders just how  _ this girl  _ knows that. What makes Serena special?

Serena rolls her eyes.

Rin takes a step closer. If she wants to find out anything, she needs to ask—even if that means speaking to a rival puella magi. “Hey,” Rin says, “can you tell me what a dimensional dragon is at least?”

“No.”

“Is it powerful?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“That means it is.”

“I never said that.”

Rin laughs, rolling back on her heels. She wipes her dirty, damp hands on her pants, and then reaches into her pocket and pulls out two pieces of foil-wrapped bubblegum. She pops the first piece into her mouth, chewing loudly. She nearly eats the second piece too, but then catches Serena in the corner of her eye, watching her like a hawk.

With a sigh, Rin holds the gum out to Serena.

“Here.”

“I don’t want that.”

“Take it.”

“Fine.”

Serena holds it, but she doesn’t put it in her mouth. She stares at it like it’s some mystery, and she stares at Rin like she’s a mystery too. Rin wants to laugh at the irony. It’s Serena who’s wrapped up tighter than a present; it’s Serena who she can’t get a feel for. But now that Serena is holding a piece of gum, and she’s not looking quite so stiff and stoic, Rin feels just a bit more at ease.

“So I have you to deal with for two weeks?” she says.

“I’ll stay out of your way unless you get in mine.”

Rin whistles lowly. “Harsh … Hey, that dimension dragon thing, we should team up for it?”

“No.”

“Well it sounds hard, so what makes you think you’ll be able to take it on your own?”

“I can.”

Huffing, Rin says, “Way to be cocky—you’ll kill yourself with that attitude, you know that? And I don’t think you’re really all that great, no offense, but I’m not going to grovel at your feet begging to be your apprentice. So, if you need a hand, know that I’m around.”

Serena never does smile, but Rin sees a flicker of an emotion in her glassy, green eyes, and it’s the spark of something that unravels the mystery of Serena’s existence. After that moment, Rin feels just a bit safer with Serena around.

* * *

Ruri can’t stop feeling anxious about Yuzu. She came to class today, looking tired and beaten up, with limp hair and droopy eyes, as if she’d been dragged through hell and back in one night. Quite literally, Ruri thinks that’s what happened, but she only gives Yuzu a hug and tells her that they should go out for ice cream.

Yuzu says no.

“I want to go find that familiar.”

That … Oh. Last night felt like such a blur to Ruri, but how could she forget how that all began? She was with Yuzu looking for familiars; she’d invited herself along on that excursion. And things had been well in the beginning … until that all went down the drain and Rin showed up. Ruri doesn’t like to feel angry, but it hurts whenever she thinks of Rin attacking Yuzu. That night, Rin could have died.

Ruri’s stomach still churns just thinking about it, and she holds her gut. She probably has an ulcer from all the worrying she’s been doing. She’s hardly been eating too, or she’s been snacking all night to hopefully fall into a food coma. 

She and Yuzu walk down the street towards the alleyway they were in last night. In the daylight, it’s not so eerie and spooky, but Ruri still finds herself hot on Yuzu’s heels, clinging to her arm like a fraidy-cat. Now that they’ve seen Rin here, Ruri doesn’t feel any safer looking for familiars in daylight. What if another fight breaks out? What if Serena isn’t here to stop it?

Ruri’s eyes flicker to Zarc. The little dragon sits on Yuzu’s shoulder, tail curled along her back and resting on her opposite shoulder. Should Ruri need to save Yuzu, she could make a contract then and there … but then Ruri doesn’t even have a wish, and she  _ really  _ doesn’t want to become a puella magi. 

They turn into the alleyway, following the narrow walls back into a crevice of the city. Ruri glances around for any sign of movement. Would familiars be out prowling this late at night? They seem like nocturnal creatures, but then Zarc told them that familiars can strike at any time of the day.

However …

Zarc tilts his head to the side. “I don’t smell any trace of the familiar,” he says. “Looks like it ran away and hasn’t come back. There’s no way you’ll find it now.”

Yuzu huffs under her breath. “Damn.”

“It’s not worth a Grief Seed anyways,” Zarc says.

“Maybe that girl … Rin, her name was … killed it.” 

As soon as Ruri’s suggestion is out, she feels her throat close up. Yuzu turns around, eyes glowing an intense, piercing blue that freezes Ruri on the spot.

“Why do you care about her?”

“I don’t!” Ruri says, throwing up a hand as an apology. “I’m sorry, I don’t—I just thought maybe she … might know. But then—”

“She wouldn’t waste her time on a familiar,” Yuzu interrupts. “She already told us that.”

“Yeah …” Ruri says. She twists her hands together, and crosses her legs. “Sorry … It’s just … I’ve been thinking about her.”

This catches Yuzu’s attention. “Huh?” 

“About Rin, sorry—about … how she’s a puella magi too. And I know you two don’t get along, and in fact I’m really scared of her too, but I think you shouldn’t make enemies of allies. Even if you can’t be friends, maybe just … talk to her … so that you don’t fight again?”

Once more, Ruri feels her throat clench closed. She sees Yuzu’s entire body tense up like a spring, and then from her mouth bursts the most aghast groan Ruri has ever heard: “What?”

“I’m so—”

“You think that was a fight, Ruri? That we were just blowing off some steam and staking out territory? She was trying—she was trying to kill me! And I was trying to kill her too!” Yuzu clenches her hands. “Our fight was to the death, and if that transfer student Serena didn’t show up, one of us would have died.”

Yuzu sounds so angry that Ruri thinks she should back down, but instead she talks, imploring, “That’s all the more reason to—”

“What? Be friends? You heard her talk about humans. If that’s how she treats humans, I wonder how she treats fellow puella magi? I bet she lures them into traps and kills them just so she can claim their territory. I bet she cheats and lies—and I won’t be one of her pawns. I won’t let her kill me. Over my dead body I won’t let her take this city.”

Ruri cups a hand to her mouth. “Sorry,” she says, so faintly that Yuzu couldn’t have heard her.

Yuzu brings a hand to her head, rubbing at her pigtails. “I know you like to see the good in everyone, Ruri, but some people are just plain sick and twisted, and that puella magi is one of them. In fact, I’d even say she’s as bad as the transfer student, Serena—both of them seem like the types to screw over their friends for personal gain.”

“I don’t think so …” Ruri says.

Yuzu scoffs. “Serena waited for Miss Ray to be killed before she came ‘to our rescue.’ Don’t you see what she was doing? She wanted that Grief Seed, and so she used Miss Ray as bait—”

“That’s not—” 

“I won’t let people like that exist.” Yuzu curls a hand up to her heart, and around her wrist Ruri sees the glimmer of her bracelet and Soul Gem. “Ruri, there are people in this world who are precious to me and who I don’t want to die. Puella magi or not, I care about those people with all my heart. I didn’t just obtain this power for my wish and to kill dragons—I’ll kill corrupt puella magi too.”

Ruri nearly doubles over. Kill … kill other puella magi? But they’re all supposed to be on the same time, all supposed to fight witches. How can you kill your comrades?

“Ruri,” Yuzu says, “there are bad people out there, people worse than dragons—and I won’t hesitate to kill them either. I can tell that bothers you—you don’t like to fight, and you like everyone to be peaceful and happy. I’ve known this for as long as I’ve known you, and … it’s OK. I can’t force you to change your opinion. You probably don’t get why I’m saying this since you’re not in my shoes. But I’m not going to hold back and let those precious to me die because puella magi are luring them to their deaths. I won’t use other people to obtain my own goals. I already got my wish; now it’s time for me to pay back the dimension.

“You don’t have to come with me to hunt familiars or dragons or puella magi, since no doubt it’s an icky job not for the faint of heart. I won’t judge you if you stay home. But don’t hold me back and tell me to think of others as if I haven’t already thought this through enough.”

Ruri nods, swallowing against the thick pit in her throat.

Yuzu’s lips quirk into a smile, and she raises one shoulder a bit. The seriousness of her expression melts away, and had everything before not happened, Ruri could have believed she and Yuzu were just good friend exploring the city together.

“You should get some rest, Ruri—you look tired. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, all right?”

“All …”

Yuzu disappears before Ruri can finish. Yuzu never turns around, not even when Ruri feels a sob bubble up in her throat. To her side, Ruri sees Zarc sitting on the pavement.

“Does being with her hurt you?” Zarc asks.

Ruri shakes her head. Yuzu has never, ever hurt her, and she never will. But there’s something else in Ruri’s heart—guilt, regret, helplessness—that has caused such a festering wound. She shouldn’t need to make a contract … and yet, a part of her still wonders if she could make a difference. 


	19. Nineteen

Ruri comes home in tears. 

She walks around town for hours trying to dry her eyes and calm her emotions, but in the end she gives up and heads home. She’s hid from Shun long enough, and if she thinks about what he must be feeling she only feels more upset. He must know something is wrong with her. She’s staying out late every night, skipping meals, locking herself away in her room; if she were to take a moment and think about someone besides herself, it would be clear that she needs to tell Shun something.

But then what can she tell him? What can he know about? What would even make  _ sense  _ to him? She can’t say anything about puella magi or dragons, or really any of the mysteries around that. She could get away with talking about friend troubles, but then Shun might try and pry too much. 

When she comes home, Ruri toes off her shoes in the doorway and hangs her jacket up on the hook. She hears Shun in the kitchen, but just as she’s stepping up to the genkan he comes round the corner with a spatula in his hands.

“Hey, welcome back! You want …” His voice peters out as he focuses on her face, on her tears, on every crack in Ruri’s body as she nearly tumbles onto the ground in her misery. Ruri can barely keep herself standing, and so when Shun pulls her close she falls right into his arms and buries her face in his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Shun says at once, but he doesn’t give her a chance to answer before he pulls her into the living room and sets her down on the couch. Ruri opens her mouth to answer, but Shun says, “Tea first—you need tea.”

Ruri thinks that’s one of the last things that she needs, but when Shun returns with a hot cup of herbal tea, she has to admit that the heat on her hands and the steam on her cheeks feels good. She breathes in the aroma and closes her eyes. When she takes a sip, she feels herself warm up from the inside out. She still chokes back sobs, and when she sets down her cup she reaches for the tissues to dry her eyes.

Shun doesn’t say anything. Ruri is surprised by that—normally Shun is nosey and overprotective, but today he’s oddly docile, perched on the arm of the couch. When she cleans herself up a bit, he comes to sit next to her, and he brings his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close. When Ruri was little, she used to curl up against Shun and listen to stories. Shun doesn’t have a story for her, but just sitting next to him untangles the knots in her lungs.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ruri nods her head. 

A pause.

Ruri chooses her words carefully. “I … had a fight with Yuzu.”

“Your friend from school, right? The one with the pink hair?”

Ruri nods again. “She’s being … well, actually we’re both being stubborn, but I’m worried about her. She’s making a choice that … scares me. Badly. Makes my stomach hurt, and …” Ruri takes a deep breath. “Makes me scared she might leave me as a friend for good.”

Shun gives her shoulder a slight squeeze. “Do you think you’re right, Ruri?”

“I don’t know …”

“Well, do you think she’s right then?”

She swallows the pit in her throat. Ruri doesn’t want to say she’s right or wrong, but then again … she is right. She really, truly believes she’s right. Yuzu is making a choice that could only end badly for her, and even if Ruri doesn't have the experience of being a puella magi and fighting dragons, she at least knows the importance of teamwork and friendship. And Yuzu is making a terrible choice.

“Yuzu and I … we fought …”

“That happens sometimes.”

Ruri wants to—she doesn’t know what she wants, but she feels angry and sad all at once, and what keeps her rooted on the choice is Shun’s arm around her shoulders and the slight dip in his words that signals he isn’t quite done talking.

“Sometimes, people are so stubborn that they won’t give in even when they’re wrong. It takes a special kind of person to be humble and say they were wrong … I don’t think I know many people like that.”

Ruri swallows thickly. She wants to make this right, she truly does … but Yuzu is making the wrong choice, and Ruri doesn’t want to see her friend in any more danger.

“What … can I do, Shun?”

Shun leans his head against hers. His gelled bangs are stiff, and they scrape across Ruri’s forehead. “I don’t think this is something anyone else but you can help with, right?”

Ruri nods. She hasn’t even told Shun the whole story, and she wonders if he might know that and be hesitating. 

“You still want to solve this problem though, right? That’s why you’re asking for advice.”

Ruri nods. She feels so helpless like this, so at lost for words and emotions. It’s a miracle Shun can put up with her.

In the corner of her eye, Ruri sees Shun smile—actually smile, and coyly, like he’s thought of something silly or sly or both. He chuckles under his breath, and tugs her a bit closer. “You need to make a mistake then.”

“A …”

“Mistake,” Shun finishes. “You need to make a mistake to show you’re human too, and that way she knows it’s OK that she made a mistake in the first place. If you truly think she’s wrong, show her that you can be wrong too. Show her that you’re not perfect. Show her how to be humble. But don’t make it anything too big, just tell a lie or run away—shock her back into reality a bit.”

Ruri feels sick just thinking about doing something like that, but … she sees where Shun is going with that thought. It is pretty embarrassing to be wrong, and Ruri tries her hardest to always be right. It might be the same for Yuzu too, she realises—and so, if she wants Yuzu to recognise her wrong choice, than maybe Ruri needs to show her how. 

“Don’t think this’ll work like magic though—she’s going to be pissed at first. But then maybe Yuzu will go home to her father and complain to him about what you did, and her father will take Yuzu under his arm and talk to her just like I’m talking to you now. And even if they don’t have this exact conversation, I bet you Yuzu will realise why you did what you did, and why she did what she did, and she’ll realise why you were right.”

It sounds … helpful. It’s certainly not something Ruri has ever tried before, but then again she’s never gotten in arguments  _ because  _ she doesn’t know how to make-up afterwards.

“That’s just an option though,” Shun says, “and it’s not a guarantee. But if you’re at the end of your rope and at wit’s end, maybe this could be an option to help you.”

“ … thank you,” Ruri says after a moment, when she realises that she’s been quiet far too long, and she feels Shun turn his head to try and sneak a peek at her. Ruri tucks herself into his side and pushes her head against his shoulder. “Thank you, Shun.”

Then she feels Shun squeeze her tightly, and he tells her in his gruff, know-it-all kind of voice, “You’re a wonderful girl, Ruri.”

She blinks.

“What’s with the surprise?” Shun says. 

Ruri feels her face heat up—he could tell she was shocked!

“You’re a good kid, Ruri—give yourself some credit for once. You don’t lie, don’t fight; you give it your all at everything you do, and it’s obvious to me you care deeply for who and what’s important to you. So”—Shun jostles her a bit—“you need to mess up some more.”

“Huh?” Ruri says, but her words mingle together when Shun tickles her on the side, and Ruri keels over giggling and laughing before she can even stop herself. Over her laughter, she hears Shun talking.

“Mess up, make mistakes, learn from them—stop being so perfect all the time, all right? You’re making all us normal people look bad.”

“That’s—that’s not  _ my  _ fault—”

“Then mess up for yourself!” Shun says, throwing an arm up in the air. “Mess up before you’re an adult and there’s bigger consequences. When you get to be my age there are things like pride and responsibilities, and at your age you shouldn’t have to worry too much about that. When you get older, there’s more at stake, more weight on your shoulders—make your mistakes before then, so that, when you get older, you can look back fondly on how far you’ve come.”

Ruri looks up through her messy bangs. She’s on her back, one hand at her side should Shun try and tickle her again. He doesn’t though; he sits on the couch, arms crossed, but grinning at her. And as if all the memories of the past week has disappeared from her mind, Ruri feels herself smiling back at him.

“All right?” Shun says.

Ruri nods her head, and for once it feels like the right thing to do. “All right.”

* * *

Yuzu knows something is wrong the moment she gets to the hospital. It’s too quiet, too unfamiliar, and though she doesn’t know why until she gets to Yuuya’s room, a heavy weight settles in her stomach. It sloshes back and forth when she climbs the stairs, and nearly shoots up her throat when she turns the corner and sees that Yuuya’s room is empty.

Empty, as if he’s never been in the room at all. His CDs are gone, his bed made, his window closed. It all looks wrong, and when Yuzu looks from left to right she sees nothing that should be in its right place.

When did Yuuya get discharged? He never gave her a phone call or text message. Did he find out suddenly and never got a chance to message her? Yuuya was always a bit scatterbrained like that, and considering all the other thoughts that must have been on his mind, it makes sense that he might have forgotten. Then again though, Yuzu visits Yuuya nearly every day. 

_ Harsh,  _ she thinks to herself, but she tries not to dwell on it. After all, if Yuuya isn’t at the hospital, then he should be at home. The doctors probably wouldn’t let him go back to dueling so quickly, so he must be at his house resting and recuperating. 

Yuzu heads back down the stairs, through the glass hospital doors, and out onto the street. At this hour, the sky is dark yet clear, and speckled with a million small stars. The artificial city lights have nothing on the wonderful view tonight. When Yuzu lifts her head, she thinks, if she squints hard enough, she can see galaxies and supernovas. It’s been so cloudy and dreary lately, but now things seem clear and right. When Yuzu looks up at the sky, she can take a deep breath of air and feel it travel through her lungs.

On her walk to Yuuya’s place, Yuzu follows the path of the stars. She winds herself through the suburbs, from time to time stepping onto the grass and wandering through the trees. She’s in no hurry to get back to Yuuya’s, but it feels like seconds later that she’s in front of his door. Yuuya lives in a townhouse, the two-floor kind with windows and a roof. He lives with his mother who is no doubt overjoyed to have her son home.

At the front of the house though, Yuzu notices that all the lights off. She tilts her head to the side. Surely it hasn’t been that long … right?

She checks her watch—23:12. Oh … it must have taken her longer to travel with all her perusing and wandering.

A flicker of sorrow catches like a barb in her heart, but she shakes it away and smiles up at the moon behind the house. Yuuya must be sleeping in his bed for the first time in a while, happily dreaming about his recovery and dueling with her and the You Show kids. Everyone has missed Yuuya so much since he’s been gone, Yuzu most of all.

_ Sweet dreams, Yuuya. _

No sooner has she thought that does someone speak up, “What’re you doing there?” Yuzu nearly jumps out of her skin, spinning around, ready to run. It’s a girl though, and more importantly it’s someone Yuzu knows: Rin, dressed in black skinny jeans and a leather jacket. She’s chewing bubblegum too, and when she pops a bubble Yuzu flinces.

_ W-what is Rin doing here? _ Yuzu wonders. There are no dragons here, no danger … just Rin.

Yuzu feels her blood run cold, and she braces a hand against her bracelet should Rin try and attack her.

However, Rin raises her hands at once. “Whoa there, geez! I’m just saying hi.”

Yuzu doesn’t buy that answer for a second. “Really?”

Rin rolls her shoulders. “You gonna stand out front of that boy’s door, or are you going in?”

Yuzu’s eyes flicker towards the door, but she doesn’t move a muscle. Something odd is going on here—how come Rin’s here? How come she found Yuzu here, not even at her own house but outside of Yuuya’s? And how did Rin know about Yuuya in the first place? How did she find out about Yuzu’s wish?

“And after all the trouble you went to.” Rin leans against a lamp post. Even though Rin can’t be much taller, she appears to be, and her long legs stretch like a spider’s. The moonlight catches on her cat-like eyes. “Don’t worry, I already know that boy in the house is the reason you made a contract with Zarc. Don’t hide it. We all make stupid choices.”

“That’s not stupid,” Yuzu snaps. 

Rin pretends like she doesn’t hear her though. She clicks her tongue, and says, “Pretty pathetic that you wasted your wish on him though. He’s one guy, and not even a good one at that. Like what, he can do some tricks?”

“Shut up,” Yuzu says. Her balls into tight fists, and she crushes her teeth together. She’s not strong enough to fight Rin, but that won’t stop Yuzu from throw a punch if she needs to.

“I’m just saying,” Rin says, “that there are a million and more things you could have spent your wish on, like good grades, good friends, even fancy magic powers. But not only did you choose something so simple, but you didn’t even choose it for yourself. Nothing good comes from making a wish for the sake of other people—”

“And how would you know that?” Yuzu snaps. “Care to tell me what you spent your wish on? Something trivial too?”

“Shut your damn mouth.” 

Yuzu feels her lips curl up in a smirk. “Hurts, doesn't it—”

“Well your wish isn’t even going to work,” Rin says, and like a tsunami Yuzu feels the emotions and tension build; soon it’ll crash over her head. “You want to get a boy to like you and never leave you? Hurt him. Manipulate him. Make him need you so badly that he’ll never even  _ think  _ of leaving you. Make him think you’re the greatest thing in the world. Make him worship you, grovel at your feet for praise. Make him—”

“That’s fucking sick!” Yuzu screams.

Rin laughs. “You think that’s wrong? Well, Hiiragi Yuzu, haven’t you already messed with him enough, using your magic—”

“That’s different!” Yuzu heaves a great breath, but the air whooshes right back out of her. “That’s different, but you’re—oh, you’re sick, you’re terrible, you’re—” 

“Right?” Rin tilts her head to the side, so far that Yuzu almost thinks her neck might snap in two. “Are you scared to know the truth, Yuzu? Are you scared to think that maybe, just maybe, you’re selfish and want him all to yourself?”

Her heart feels like it could shrivel up. She can’t get enough air to her lungs or brain, and both scream in pain. Yuzu wants to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out, but she also wants to scream and yell and  _ fight.  _ She wants to fight and  _ kill  _ girls like Rin who thinks human lives are meaningless, who meddle in other people’s affairs, who get involved like the whole damn world is their business.

Yuzu sees red. 

“We shouldn’t fight here though,” Rin says, as if she can read Yuzu’s mind. “Too crowded, too busy. I have somewhere else in mind.” She doesn’t say to follow her, but she turns on her heel and walks back down the street.

Breathless, Yuzu unclenches her hands and flexes her fingers. Her entire body itches to lunge at Rin while she’s caught off-guard, but Yuzu isn’t reckless or dirty like that. She’ll play fairly so long as Rin doesn’t play dirty either.

Yuzu’s eyes narrow into thin, blue slits, like the sharpest edges of a gem. 

_ I’ll kill you for saying those things, Rin. I will never, ever stop fighting to protect those precious to me, and I’ll kill dragons and puella magi alike who dare hurt my friends and family. _

Rin takes her to the Maiami City Bridge, a long expanse of curved and bent metal crossing the large river that runs through the city. At this hour though, the artificial lighting glares painfully against the metal, and the cool asphalt beneath Yuzu’s feet feels sticky. She walks several paces behind Rin in case she turns around and attacks her, but it doesn’t seem to bother Rin any.

Swallowing, Yuzu peers over the edge of the bridge. The water is opaque, and so dark that if any sea monsters were lurking under the surface Yuzu wouldn’t be able to see them. She can’t even see the stars reflecting off the water, and from this distance Yuzu thinks she’s looking into thick, choking tar. Her throat only feels tighter the longer she looks, so she tries to keep her gaze ahead of her.

Rin stops in the middle of the bridge. She spins around, and when Yuzu blinks again Rin has transformed into her battle gear, wielding her metal pole. 

“We won’t need to hold back here, huh?”

Yuzu nods. On the walk here, Yuzu didn’t see a single person in sight. They must all be at home, snuggled up in their beds and dreaming sweet dreams. It’s actually a relieving thought for Yuzu—she won’t have to worry about anyone else’s safety. 

“May the best puella magi win,” Yuzu says.


	20. Twenty

After her talk with Shun, Ruri knows what she has to do. She needs to talk with Yuzu and make up for what she said. She needs to prove to Yuzu that she too can make mistakes, and that what Yuzu is trying to accomplish will only end up hurting her. Ruri feels a fire within her belly that tells her to go now, out of the house late at night, and take to the streets with determined steps. She doesn’t even know where she should go, but something within her tells her to move.

Over her head, Ruri sees the stars guide her path. She holds her head up high and doesn’t let herself cry. She doesn’t see many people out on the streets, and for a moment she feels like she’s all alone—and then, on the bridge, Ruri sees the lightning strike of magic.

Magic.

Ruri swallows. It’s hard to see just who the figures are, but then again there are only so many puella magi in Maiami City, and if Yuzu went out …

Suddenly, there is pain in her stomach. Ruri feels like she could throw up, but her legs tell her to run. She dashes through the streets, feet slapping the pavement. She keeps seeing flashes of magic and she feels even sicker. Why can’t she run fast enough? Why can’t she stop it? Why can’t she do anything right? How come Shun thinks she’s perfect when she’s done so much harm?

She sprints around the corner onto the bridge. There, in the middle of the bridge, are Rin and Yuzu. They’re engaged in a combat dance, both of them slashing and hacking at each other. Maybe at another time their fight may have been beautiful, an orchestrated dance between two powerful warriors, but Ruri knows they’re out to kill each other tonight.

“Yuzu!” Ruri screams to her. She cups her hands over her mouth and screams again: “Yuzu, stop!”

The wind sweeps up her words. Ruri runs forward, closer to the battle. She sees Zarc sitting on the ground watching the two girls fight, and he merely inclines his head towards her.

“Yuzu! Yuzu, stop, please—no, please, Yuzu listen to me!”

To her surprise, Rin and Yuzu break away. Rin flies backwards, her feet skidding on the pavement. Yuzu flips through the air and lands gracefully on her feet. However, when she spins around she fixes Ruri with a burning glare.

“What are you—”

“Please, Yuzu—don’t do this. Just stop, and come back with me—I want to apologise—”

Yuzu swings her fan at Ruri, and Ruri feels herself flinch. Yuzu would never attack her, would she? But Yuzu holds her fan out like a weapon, its edge pointed right at Ruri’s pale throat.

“Get out of here,” Yuzu says. “Now.”

“Yuzu, please listen—”

_ “Get out,”  _ Yuzu says, and this time her words come out as a hiss. “This isn’t even any of your business.”

But it is, Ruri wants to implore. It’s as much of her business because if Yuzu is gone then Ruri is all alone. If Yuzu is injured, Ruri will have to heal her. 

On the other side of Yuzu, Rin grins as wide as Cheshire Cat. “Your friend, huh? What an annoying brat.”

“Shut it,” Yuzu says, swinging her other arm around to point her fan at Rin. She keeps her eyes on Ruri though. Ruri has never seen such an expression on Yuzu before. She looks both angry and hurt, and neither emotion settles around her grimace. Ruri wants to reach out and hold Yuzu, cradle her, take her back home and tell her to watch cheesy movies and eat sweets. Ruri wants none of this to happen and for her and Yuzu to make up, but perhaps it was her who didn’t understand.

“Yuzu,” Ruri says. She can’t think of anything else to say.

“Are all your friends this dependent on you?” Rin says. “Bunch of spineless brats if I’ve ever seen any.”

“And what would your friends be, Rin?”

Ruri feels her heart leap with joy. She knows that voice! Serena has appeared, ready for battle in her puella magi armour. She wears her shield on her arm, and her red dress rustles against her legs. Ruri feels her lips quirk in a smile, yet she realises she’s the only one smiling among the four of them. 

Serena crosses her arms tightly over her chest. “This isn’t what we discussed at all. You’re to leave Hiiragi Yuzu alone.”

_ They’ve talked?  _ Ruri thinks.  _ What have Rin and Serena been talking about? And when? And why? _

Like a child, Rin points at Yuzu and says, “She started it.”

“I don’t care who started it,” Serena replies. “You agreed to leave her alone.”

“I’m right here, you know,” Yuzu says, pitching her voice above the others. She crosses her arms too, and now that she’s torn her eyes off of Ruri’s, she looks from Rin to Serena with obvious disgust. “Are you two in some kind of alliance?”

“Not even close,” Rin says.

“Well, if you’re with her then”—Yuzu points her fan at Rin—“Serena, you too are my enemy, and I won’t hesitate to fight you either.”

Ruri feels sick to her stomach. She twists her hands together, but she can’t even say Yuzu’s name now. There’s nothing she can do to stop this, not against three puella magi intent on fighting each other. All the while, Zarc sits to the side and watching with unblinking eyes. Ruri knows that Zarc can’t intervene, but she wants him too—she wants him to take charge and stop this madness!

Serena tilts her head to the side. “A fight?” She snorts. “You’ll fight me?”

Yuzu tightens her grip on her fans. “If I must.”

Just as Yuzu takes a step forward though, Rin blurts out, “Hey, hey—I’m fighting!”

“You’re not,” Serena says. “I will fight Hiiragi Yuzu.”

Anger rips across Rin’s face, tugging at her freckled nose and cheeks, and drooping down her pink lips. To Ruri’s surprise though, she doesn’t argue. Instead, she pulls out a pack of bubblegum, pops two pieces into her mouth, and begins chewing. “You’ve got until this bubblegum tastes gross to fight, and then when I’m done I’m killing you both for good measure.”

Yuzu looks frightened by those words, but Serena just shrugs her shoulders. “Fine by me.”

“Hey, wait—”

Serena draws her foot backwards, assuming a warrior-like position. Her face becomes a cold, impassive mask; her body a solid, unbreakable rock.

Ruri sees Yuzu raise her bracelet-hand up towards the sky. She must be summoning a spell, or maybe a weapon—whatever it is, Ruri realises at that moment that she has to intervene. She has to do something. She dashes forward and grabs the bracelet between her fingers. When she yanks it off, she’s surprised it comes off far too easily, as if it could have slipped off Yuzu’s wrist at any moment. No matter though; the moment Ruri has the bracelet in her arms, she spins around and chucks it as far as she can, over the edge of the bridge and down to the churning, tar-like water below. The water is opaque, and the bracelet disappears in an instant.

Serena falls backwards, looking ready to dash off. Rin gasps loudly.

And Yuzu—she turns to look at Ruri, her eyes suddenly a deeper, darker shade of blue. Ruri still has her fingers wrapped around Yuzu’s wrist, and she feels Yuzu’s pulse drop, her skin grow cold. 

“What have you …” 

Yuzu doesn’t get the next words out. Her eyes grow as opaque as the water beneath the bridge, and she falls forward, her head catching in the crook of Ruri’s shoulder. Ruri stumbles back from the dead weight against her body, and her entire body seizes up. Dead … dead weight?

“Yu … Yuzu,” she says. “Hey, Yuzu!”

Yuzu doesn’t move. 

Ruri’s legs give out on her and she falls to the ground. Frantically, she pushes back Yuzu’s bangs and holds her body, pinching her up and down her arms. “Yuzu, hey!” she keeps saying, but nothing rouses her. The longer it continues, the sicker Ruri begins to feel. What’s happened? What’s going on? What did she do?

The click-clack of claws on pavement comes from Zarc who approaches Ruri. 

“Good grief, Ruri. You sure did something all right.”

“I did—what did I do?” Ruri feels her throat close up. She can’t stop pinching Yuzu, shaking her awake, anything and everything to wake her up.

“You really did throw your friend away there,” Zarc continues as if she hadn’t spoken at all. “I’d didn’t think you had it in you to do  _ that—” _

“Do  _ what?”  _ Ruri nearly tumbles to the pavement, drawing in ragged, shaky breaths. “Zarc, please—w-what did I do? What happened? Yuzu, she’s not moving, she’s not breathing, she’s just—”

Ruri hears another tapping sound, but she doesn’t look up, her body cradled over Yuzu’s.

“Zarc, help, please—”

Someone’s hand grabs her by the back of her jacket and yanks her forward. Ruri hardly registers it’s Rin there until Rin’s other hand snatches Yuzu up and drags her limp body forward. Ruri sobs as Yuzu is ripped from her arms, and she drags herself forward. “Rin, no—”

Rin has her hand around Yuzu’s neck, her grip so tight that she could be crushing bones. But her face, instead of being rageful, is as pale as the moon above their heads. Her bottom lip quivers, and she sucks on it, taking in a harsh, ragged breath. Then she looks to Zarc, still sitting by them, and she says, “Hey.”

Just hey.

Ruri sees Zarc smile. 

“Yes, Rin?”

“What the hell is going on here?”

Zarc’s smile widens.

Rin swings out her arm, and Yuzu’s body, like a ragdoll, flops from side to side. Ruri’s stomach clenches and she gags into her hands, but Rin’s expression doesn't change an inch.

“She’s fucking dead, isn’t she?”

D-dead? Ruri looks from Yuzu to Rin to Zarc, and back and forth so many times her head spins. Dead, as in dead-dead? As in no pulse and no brain activity? As in … she died? What happened? What did anyone do? She just took off the bracelet—

With a heave, Ruri vomits onto the pavement. She only realises she’s sobbing when her throat clenches up and she coughs as if she’s swallowed rusty nails. Through her wet eyes, she sees Rin drag Yuzu’s body towards Zarc and drop it at the dragon’s feet. “Yu …” Ruri tries to say, but she lurches forward with another painful heave.

“What the hell is this?” Rin says to Zarc.

“Hiiragi Yuzu’s body.”

“Where’s  _ Hiiragi Yuzu  _ though?” Rin says.

A cold, chilling wind nips at Ruri’s cheek when she raises her head. She sees Zarc smile, and he noses Yuzu’s corpse.

“You puella magi can only control your bodies with a radius of approximately a hundred metres. That’s not very much, but then again you normally don’t travel without your body, do you?”

“The  _ fuck?”  _ Rin screeches. “Of course we travel with our bodies, why does that—”

On her hands and knees, Ruri drags herself towards Yuzu’s corpse. With shaking hands, she cups Yuzu’s face in her own. She can barely see or breathe, but she feels Yuzu’s cold, lifeless skin on her fingertips and it makes her sick all over again. 

“Zarc,” she says through her teeth, “please … please, I’m begging—make Yuzu w-wake up..”

Zarc tilts his head towards her. “But Ruri, that’s not Yuzu. That’s just an empty shell.”

“An …” Ruri stumbles over the words, her fingers grappling with the stringy strands of Yuzu’s pink hair.

“Ruri, Yuzu was what you just threw away.”

What she—

Ruri wishes she never heard those words, never came here, it was so wrong of her to make a mistake, and Shun had said make a small mistake, but she took it too far, way too far—

The night nearly swallows her up.

But through the fear and pain, she hears Zarc still talking to her in his gentle voice: “You think I don’t care about you? Well, I do, but your bodies are weak. You really think I could ask you to fight powerful, magical dragons in weak, human bodies? Those break in an instant. To you puella magis, your old bodies are nothing more than external hardware, like a shell. Puella magi have magic within them, but it’s stored within their souls, not their bodies. What you threw away was Yuzu’s soul, locked away in her Soul Gem. Her soul is much, much safer inside the Soul Gem than it is inside her body, at least until you threw away her bracelet.”

“How could—”

“It’s my job,” Zarc explains, “to take care of puella magi and make contracts. So when you make a contract with me, I remove your soul and turn it into a Soul Gem.”

Ruri is in such shock that she can’t even think much less move, but in a flurry of movement Rin lunges forward and grabs Zarc by his tail. She drags the dragon up to face her, hanging him upside down. Zarc doesn’t try to wriggle free, only bends his head so he can stare long and hard at Rin.

“The  _ fuck,”  _ Rin screams. “What are you saying, that we’re like zombies? That you took my  _ soul!  _ That—that my soul is  _ here!”  _ She lifts up her other arm, on which dangles a silver bracelet inlaid with a moss-green gem. “This right here is me?”

Zarc nods his little head. “It’s much more convenient and safe to have your soul in that bracelet. Imagine the kind of injuries puella magi can sustain from a fight: limbs ripped from their bodies, bones crushed, blood sucked from their veins. As painful as those injuries may be, your body is just a body; your soul will be fine. And with your magic, you can heal yourselves and keep on fighting—”

“I don’t  _ want  _ to fight!” Rin says, shaking Zarc up and down. “Put my soul back, damn it, I’m done—”

Zarc ignores her. “As long as your Soul Gem doesn’t break, you’re invincible. You’re humanity’s strongest soldiers. Now don’t you think that’s a smart move? Don’t you think making a contract with me has ensured your survival? You don’t have to worry about your weak body any more, so long as you keep your Soul Gem safe.”

Ruri’s eyes flicker towards Yuzu. She … she’s dead without her Soul Gem? Ruri threw it into the ocean, so would it be all right? What happens if they don’t find it? Ruri saw Serena run away, and she has yet to come back. Can Serena find the Soul Gem?

Clicking his tongue, Zarc says, “All you puella magi act like this when I tell you, like this is a big deal and I’ve lied to you—”

“You  _ have!” _

“—but don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic? Why does it matter where your soul is located? Why does it matter what happened when clearly it’s not hurting you—”

“It is!” Rin winds her arm back and chucks Zarc through the night air. “It is, it is, you monster! Because then shit like  _ this”— _ she jabs a finger at Yuzu’s corpse—“happens, and we’re left wondering what the hell is going on. You lied to us, you monster!”

If Ruri has her voice, she might have said something too. But she crushes her face to Yuzu’s stomach and feels the icy stings of her cold skin. 

She hears Serena’s heels on the ground, but Ruri doesn’t raise her head until Serena touches her shoulder and eases her back. Through her blotted eyes, Ruri sees Serena gently lift up Yuzu’s arm and slip the bracelet onto her wrist. Then, like magic, Yuzu begins to breathe again. Colour returns to the apples of her cheeks, and her skin warms to the touch. It all happens so quickly Ruri doesn’t even realise when Yuzu squeezes her hand.

Her eyes are open, the same cool blue of the sky and ocean. She looks like a princess awoken from a slumber, and when she asks, “Hey, what’s going on here?” it’s as if she never lost her soul. Slowly, Yuzu pushes herself upright, but Ruri clamps her hands down on Yuzu’s shoulders and send her back to the ground with a hug.

“Hey, hey Ruri, what’s—”

Ruri sobs into Yuzu’s shoulder. Yuzu is warm and safe and fine, and it seems so, so wrong to Ruri that she falls apart then and there. She doesn’t care if her face is wet and her breath smells, or that she’s making a fool of herself in front of Serena and Rin. She doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t in her arms. 

“Ruri, hey,” Yuzu says, rubbing her back. “It’s all right.”

Ruri shakes her head. “N-no—”

“No?” Yuzu echoes. “Ruri, it’s fine, it’s …” She quietens. “Why are we … out here?”

Ruri doesn’t answer. Yuzu takes her by the shoulders and slowly separates them. It’s then Ruri realises that, not only are they still on the bridge, but they’re alone too. Serena, Rin, and Zarc have all disappeared, and not a single trace of the night is left. Ruri tries to remember if she even heard them leave, but she’d been so caught up in hugging Yuzu that she hardly remembers what happened after Serena slipped Yuzu’s bracelet back on her wrist.

“Ruri, what even happened?”

“I’m s-sorry,” Ruri says, bringing her hands up to her face. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Yuzu tells her. “Just please, Ruri, tell me what happened. Why are we out there?”

“It’s m-my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, honestly.” Yuzu strokes her hand through Ruri’s tangled hair, her skin soft and smooth. “Let’s sit here for a while, OK? And then, when you’re ready, tell me what happened. All right?”

“All … right.”


	21. Twenty-One

Yuzu is furious. Livid. She can’t keep her body from shaking. She walked Ruri home, and then stalked back to her place. She’s not mad at Ruri, no she could never be mad at her friend who was looking out for her. Yuzu isn’t even all that mad at Serena, or even Rin for that matter. No, Yuzu is pissed at the little shit of a dragon that’s currently sitting on her bed, tail tucked neatly around his body, smiling at her as if he doesn’t have a clue why she’s glaring daggers at him.

“You tricked me, didn’t you?” Yuzu growls deep in her throat. “No, you tricked all of us, all the puella magi in the dimensions, I bet you! You lied to us, kept secrets from us! How could you?” 

Zarc doesn't budge.

Yuzu stalks back and forth in her bedroom, her footsteps muffled by the plush carpet under her feet. Yuzu doesn't  _ care  _ if her father comes in wondering what racket she’s making. He can find out about Zarc for all she cares, and about all of this puella magi mess too! She has half a mind to just march herself downstairs to her father’s office and tell him, but what keeps her in her room is the way Zarc’s eyes follow her.

What would Zarc do if she tried to tell her father? She’s never told anyone she’s a puella magi, and not until today has she ever wondered if she’s  _ allowed  _ to. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about that when I made a contract?”

“About what?” Zarc asks.

Yuzu sticks out her hand, bracelet dangling from her wrist. “About my soul,” she snaps. “About why it’s here instead of in  _ here”— _ she stabs a finger into her chest.

Zarc shrug his shoulders. “You never asked.”

“I think I would have if I knew,” Yuzu retorts. “This isn’t normal, you know? This isn’t even ethical or humane in any regard, and you probably knew that and that’s why you never told me.”

“It’s not really something you need to know, I think,” Zarc says. He stretches out from his position and crawls along the bed. Yuzu follows him with her piercing stare. Something tells her she shouldn’t be alone with Zarc, not knowing what else he might be able to do with her contract, but until Yuzu thinks of a way out of here she knows she’s stuck.

“Besides,” Zarc continues, “you wouldn’t have found out had Kurosaki Ruri not thrown your Soul Gem into the river. Even senior puella magi like Ray never knew the truth about Soul Gems, and frankly it only seems to bother people  _ after  _ they find out—”

“And for good reason!” Yuzu shakes the bracelet for emphasis. “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have become a puella magi had I known about this!”

If anything, this only makes Zarc’s smile widen, and all of his small, pearly teeth appear under his black gums. It makes Yuzu’s stomach twist, and her own teeth sink into her lips.

“But you never asked for details, did you? All I asked that day was if you wanted to become a puella magi, and you said yes. It’s your responsibility to ask questions, and my responsibility to answer them. Therefore, it’s not my fault that you didn’t know the conditions of the contract before you gave me your soul.”

Yuzu can’t argue with that, not at least when her anger seems to slip away into a feeling of hopelessness. The bracelet drags her arm down, and her legs feel so weak that she stumbles towards the bed and sits down. She cradles her head in her hands. 

“I think I did a favour for you, and for all the other puella magi I’ve made contracts with. You see, if your soul was still attached to your body, and your body was grievously injured, you’d die—not just your body, but your soul too. In order to prevent that permanent death, I changed your soul into a form that could be protected and transported. That way, should you be attacked, you won’t have to worry about your clunky body. All you have to do is protect your Soul Gem.”

Through her hands, Yuzu grounds out, “I don’t think that’s a favour.”

“Hm?” She feels Zarc walk towards her, his small feet making indents in the sheets. “You need to think about the bigger picture then, Yuzu. Here, let me help you.”

Those words send such a chill down her spine, yet Yuzu looks up regardless. Zarc has his nose inches from her stomach, with the point of his upper jaw touching the edge of her blouse. “Imagine if you were speared right here in the stomach, Yuzu. You remember when Rin attacked you, right? Like that. Think of a terrible, fatal injury. How much pain were you in?”

“I dunno, a lot.”

“I remember you getting right back up.” Zarc’s smile grows, yanking at the corners of his mouth. “Now, let me show you what that would have felt like if you hadn’t made a contract.” 

Zarc spins his head around and bites down on the bracelet, teeth sinking into the small, pink gem.

Yuzu howls in pain. It hurts from her head her toes, an electric current running down her spine. She bends over in agony, but then falls to the floor. Her hands scratch at her stomach, and she convulses as if that might bring her some relief, but even after Zarc’s teeth are off her gem Yuzu still feels a lingering pain. 

“You see?” Zarc says, seated atop the bed.

Yuzu glares at him through her messy hair. She coughs as another spike of pain shoots through her stomach.

“That is the pain you would have felt after just one hit, not to mention that you would have been hurt many, many more times. I bet, had you not created a Soul Gem, you would have died from that fight—”

“I wouldn’t have …” Yuzu coughs harshly, feeling blood in her throat. “ … been fighting in the … first place.”

“Trivial,” Zarc says. “The truth in the matter is that you only lasted as long as you did because your soul was safe inside its Soul Gem, and your body could not feel any pain. If you wanted to, you could even stop feeling pain entirely, but I don’t recommend it since it would slow you down. You could, though … Your soul is pretty incredible, isn’t it?”

“In … incredible?” Yuzu squeaks the words out between her clenched teeth. “Why would you … do this?”

“Because of your wish,” Zarc says. “Because you had a wish you so badly wanted granted, and you chose to fight for it. And I made that wish come true, all for you.” Zarc leans forward over the bed, his green eyes illuminated by the moon shining through her window. “You made a wish for him, and it came true. Do you regret it, Hiiragi Yuzu?”

Lying on the ground, with pain still coursing through her body, Yuzu can barely shake her head. 

* * *

Zarc leaves after their chat, but Yuzu remains on the floor for hours, her soul ravaged from the pain Zarc inflicted on her. From her vantage point, all Yuzu can see is the feet of her bed, the dust under her bed, and the edge of her bookcase. For hours, it’s all she sees in her wet eyes. When she can at last drag herself up onto her bed, she’s so tired that she curls up on top of the sheets. 

This time when she looks ahead, she sees her wrist and the small, pink gem inlaid in her bracelet. Carefully, Yuzu rubs her finger up and down the gem. It … tickles—not really a prick, but a feeling of some otherworldly force brushing over her very being. Never before has Yuzu ever touched the bracelet, but she strokes it with a single finger until she falls asleep.

When she next awakens, it’s to someone shaking her shoulder. Yuzu groans in pain, and she squeezes her eyes closed in case it might be Zarc. Yet it’s a human hand on her shoulder, and a human voice says to her, “Sweetie, are you waking up?”

Her father. It must the morning, and on her cheeks Yuzu can feel warm sunshine. The heat is sticky and suffocating though, and Yuzu pulls her arm over her face to block her father from view.

“Yuzu?” her father says, shaking her shoulder once more. “Yuzu, is everything all right?”

She makes a noncommittal grunt, not even a single word.

“Are you feeling all right?” A hand slips past her arm and rests on her cheek and forehead. Yuzu leans into the touch, but all too soon her father’s hand disappears. “You don’t have a fever, but still …”

_ Please don’t make me go to school,  _ Yuzu thinks. She can’t imagine dragging herself through a day in her gross, zombie-like body. She can’t imagine hugging Yuzu or Mieru again knowing that her soul—her very being—is inside a little gem in her bracelet. She can’t imagine trying to live her life normally. Even her father’s hand on her skin makes her squirm a bit.

A gentle pair of lips pressed onto the crown of her head. “You have a good rest, sweetie. Let me know when you’re up and I’ll make you some pancakes, all right?”

Yuzu doesn’t hear her father leave the room; she’s fallen asleep again.

When she next awakens, it’s clearly the morning, and her room is suffocatingly hot. The window is open and her blinds pulled back, revealing a clear, blue sky dotted with puffy, white clouds. Groggily, Yuzu pulls her head up up on her pillow and searches for her clock. It’s not quite noon, but it’s close enough that a pit of a anxiety and guilt brews in her stomach. She’s slept the morning away. 

Yuzu tries to get herself out of bed, but when she moves one foot, every neuron in her body says no. She doesn’t try again, falling back against the pillows with a defeated sigh. It’s too late to head to school for her afternoon classes, and all her friends are at school anyways. Her father is probably working too, so she can’t even take him up on that pancake offer.

She’s just … here. Alone. Sad.

Sniffling, Yuzu curls up further, tucking her legs to her chest, and resting her chin on her knees. She spins her bracelet around on her wrist, surprised when that motion doesn’t make her soul dizzy. How can her soul be  _ there?  _ How could Zarc just remove it like that? When she thinks back to when she made the contract, Yuzu doesn’t remember feeling herself split in two, or anything painful like that. Making a contract was surprisingly anticlimactic.

_ But I did it … I made a contract. _

Yuzu feels sick with herself. 

_ Hey! Hey, newbie! Stop being so depressed! _

Yuzu nearly rockets out of her bed at the voice. The voice—in her head? How does that work? Zarc has spoken with her before through a mind link, but that voice wasn’t Zarc’s. It was familiar though.

Before Yuzu can think further, a rock goes flying through her open window and lands on her carpet, rolling several feet away. Another one flies through a moment later.

Though every bone in her body protests the movement, Yuzu drags herself to the foot of her bed and stands up to peer through the window. Standing outside of her house is Rin, dressed not in a school uniform or anything, but in capris and a camisole. It’s not her puella magi outfit nor her usual black leather, and that alone confuses Yuzu.

_ You gonna stare at me all afternoon?  _ Rin says. 

Yuzu’s mouth drops. She—she wasn’t—

Rin holds up a clear, plastic bag of dumplings, the kind Yuzu imagines are stuffed with beef or pork.  _ Get down here. _

Yuzu’s stomach growls so loudly Rin probably heard her too. Cheeks flushed, Yuzu snaps closed the blinds. She’s upright though, and now that she’s moving a bit she feels a bit better. She’s still in yesterday’s dirty clothes though, so she changes into leggings and a loose-fitting top, finds a pair of flats in her closet, and ruffles her hair so it doesn't look so bed-headed. Then, so as not alert her father, she reopens the blinds and crawls out the window.

She doesn’t see Rin’s mouth drop, but she hears her, not even in the mind link, shout, “Hey, what are you doing?”

Yuzu leaps off her roof down to the next level, and then lands on her feet. She doesn't feel a sliver of pain, and that sends a spike of worry in her body. But she recovers quickly, and the look of surprise on Rin’s face makes her feel a bit better. 

“If you keep your mouth open so wide, you’re going to swallow a bug.”

Colour bursts to Rin’s entire face, and she opens and shuts her mouth several times before stalking away.

With a wry smile, Yuzu follows her.

It feels a bit different this time. She remembers last night when she followed Rin and at any moment thought Rin might charge at her, stab her, and throw her corpse into an empty alley. Now though, for some reason Yuzu feels a bit better. Maybe it’s because Zarc is gone, and Yuzu doesn’t have to think about that terrible creature that stole her body away. Maybe it’s because Yuzu thinks she might know Rin a bit better … after all, Rin doesn’t have a soul either. By no means does she think of Rin as a friend, but she’s not the enemy.

Rin takes her out of the city. The roads widen, and the streets become dusty, dirt trails leading to the countryside. Maiami City is bordered by woods and water, and so Yuzu soon finds herself traipsing through a thick forest. Trees as tall as skyscrapers and as wide as houses shoot up towards the blue sky. The chirps of birds are a melody to her ears.

Rin doesn’t speak for the longest time. It gives Yuzu a sense of peace. She holds out her hands, letting the tall grass wisp over her fingers. From time to time Yuzu stops and sniffs the flowers and ferns growing from the trees, but Rin never turns back or waits for her. Yuzu never loses sight of Rin though, always just a few steps behind her.

“Do you regret it?”

Yuzu lifts her head. Rin’s speaking to her, right?

“Well?” Rin says when she receives no response.

“You mean …” Yuzu ventures.

“Our bodies, yeah. Do you regret making a contract … now that you know your body has become like that?”

“Well …” Yuzu has been trying  _ not  _ to think about that particular topic. Every time she imagines her soul being on her wrist, she thinks about how she’s dragging around her body like a shell, and it brings such gross images to her mind that she feels sick.

“I don’t think it’s all that bad,” Rin says with a shrug. “Sure, it’s a little gross, and it was cheap of that dragon bastard to not tell us the rules when we made the contract with him. But still, I think it could have been worse?”

“Worse?” 

Rin glances over her shoulder with a sly smile. “I’ll spare you the details. I’m just saying though that it  _ could  _ have been worse. Besides, look on the brightside—look at the power we have. Zarc made that choice with out best intentions in mind.”

“Whatever,” Yuzu says. She doesn’t want to think for a second about anyone’s intentions. It was  _ wrong  _ what Zarc did to her and to the other puella magi. 

“We got what we deserved,” Rin continues. She pulls another meat bun from the bag and begins munching on it loudly. “We made a wish for power, and so we had to give up our flimsy bodies so we could achieve that. And it’s not like someone else made that choice for me—my choice, my fault, my consequences—”

“We were  _ tricked— _ ”

“Trivial,” Rin says. “I don’t hold any regrets against myself. I got what I wanted, after all …”

Yuzu dares to ask Rin just what the hell that’s supposed to mean, but ahead of her is no longer the thick, shady forests, but instead an abandoned shop with large, wooden doors. It looks like a beaten-up garage— _ very  _ beaten-up, if the broken window and scattered deflated tires mean anything. Ivy grows up the side of the concrete walls and climbs into the window. 

Yuzu looks back over her shoulder. Have she and and Rin been walking for a while? How far are they outside of Maiami City?

“Where’s … this?” Yuzu asks.

“Peace and quiet,” Rin says. She turns on her heel. From within the bag she pulls out another meat bun; however, instead of biting into it she throws it to Yuzu, who barely catches it before it hits the ground.

Yuzu holds the meat bun in her hands, but she doesn’t eat it. “Why’re we here, Rin?” she asks again. Hackles raised, Yuzu feels the skin on her neck begin to tickle. She trusted Rin before, but now they’re far, far away from the city it seems. Does Rin want to fight again?

“Eat,” Rin says, motioning towards the food.

Yuzu tightens her grip on the bun, fingers sinking into the soft, doughy shell. “Tell me why we’re here.”

Rin purses her lips tightly.

Growling, Yuzu chucks the food to the ground. She’s not hungry anyways, and—

“Don’t waste food,” Rin snarls, “or I’ll kill you.”

Yuzu feels something crawl over her skin, and she doesn’t move. Rin doesn’t lunge at her though, but instead walks over and brushes off the meat bun. She glances up, and Yuzu wonders if Rin might try to give it to her again, but then Rin chomps a bite out of it, stands up, and heads to the door. With her hands full, she roundhouse kicks it open.

It’s a garage, Yuzu realises. A mechanic shop maybe too, or just a place where a lot of building and tinkering was done. The floor is concrete, though a thick layer of dust covers every available surface. There are long work tables and several benches; to her surprise though, everything has been neatly put away. Other than the dust, the room is spotlessly clean and organised. It wasn’t the sight Yuzu was expecting.

Rin looks over her shoulder again, and for the first time Yuzu has ever seen, Rin looks genuinely sad. “This,” she says, “used to be Yuugo’s shop.”


	22. Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the sake of not alarming or frightening anyone, please note that there are mentions of hanging and suicide in this chapter. it's not explicitly described, but it is mentioned, so please take care of yourself while reading. thank you <3

“Yuugo?” Yuzu repeats. She wants to ask “Who’s that?”, but she sees Rin suck in a deep breath and her brows pinch together, and Yuzu knows she shouldn’t press for an answer.

Carefully, Yuzu steps into the shop. The dust immediately falls into her face and she sneezes into her cupped hands. How long has it been since Yuugo worked here, or even since Rin came by? It looks like it’s been deserted for centuries!

“Hey, close your eyes and nose for a second. I’ll clean it out.”

Yuzu already has her hands over her face, but she squeezes her eyes closed. She feels a gust of wind rustle past her ankles, and then around her head. When she opens her eyes, there isn’t a speck of dust in sight. The garage shimmers like it was newly built. Everything looks like it should be in its right place, and now that there’s no longer a layer of grime and dust, Yuzu can see the warm, honeyed tones of the tables, and the pictures on the wall. There’s a bookcase across the room stacked full of what Yuzu assumes are manuals. There are more desks and drawers too, and even tools hanging from the wall.

“Quite the place,” she says.

“Yuugo and I built the best garage in the entire dimension.”

“Out here?”

“No … I moved it later on …”

_How?_ Yuzu wants to ask. In fact, there’s a lot of things Rin has said that Yuzu wants to say _how_ or _why_ to, but her voice falls short every single time.

Rin hops up on one of the tables, settling down with her bag of meat buns. She keeps on eating them, licking her fingers from time to time. “This place was like a dream for Yuugo and I, even back when we thought dreams only happened in fairy tales. We were young mechanics, street children who refused to go to school and who started up our own business.

“We wanted to have our own mechanic shop. We had big dreams of fixing motorbikes for a living. Yuugo had the biggest dreams of all—he really truly believed we could make a living, even as children. We’d read enough mechanic books to fill a library, and in our spare time we used to collect old car and bike parts and try to repair them ourselves.”

Yuzu settles up on the opposite table, facing Rin with her head held in her hands. 

“If you ever met Yuugo, you’d know you met a special kind of guy. He had the biggest heart, too big even. He used to save stray animals that we found outside of the shop. When he saw hungry children on the street, he’d bring them some of our food and tell me, ‘All kids deserve to eat, Rin! They need to grow big and strong!’ I think I liked Yuugo because he was like that: caring, compassionate. He was silly too though. He used to crack jokes. He was good with his hands, but he’d get confused if you told him too many instructions. When we were in the shop, he used to tell me that if he ever got a motorbike he’d paint it white, as if that wouldn’t show every single fleck of dirt on the road.

“And … he was a dreamer. He had big, grandiose dreams—wishes, you might call them. He wished we could have our own mechanic shop, and run our own business. He wished we could fix peoples’ bikes for a living. He told me there was a reason we were put in this dimension and a reason why we were together, and that it must of been because we were destined to be mechanics.

“But do you know what Yuugo lacked—a reality check. We were young and foolish when we created our shop … it was this building, actually. It didn’t look as good when we first bought it, but we still ended up with this place.” Rin holds her head in her hands. “Gods, we were so stupid back then, so full of dreams and wishes. We thought all we had to do was fix bikes for a living. We didn’t understand things like business licenses or taxes, or marketing and pricing. I had looked into it a bit, but even then I was over my head in business jargon.

“But we set up our own shop, two kids with their heads in the clouds. We rented out this very space. It’s so clean because I spent  _ days  _ sweeping and mopping and scrubbing. We lived in this garage too. We didn’t have anywhere else to go, in fact. This was all we had to our name, and still we tried our best.”

Rin hops down from the table and begins wandering through the shop. Yuzu wonders if she should follow her, but even though Rin’s voice has grown soft, it still booms around the garage. 

“We have everything in our shop to fix bikes—tools, lifts, manuals. We knew so much too. We used to spend our evenings studying and fixing. It was like all of our life had come together so that we could fix bikes … but then there weren’t any to fix. I don’t know why it didn’t work like how we wanted to. Maybe people didn’t trust kids. Maybe we didn’t have what it took to sell ourselves. But we didn’t get any service.

“I was so frustrated. Yuugo was too. We’d spent all our time and money building up our dream shop, only for  _ both of us  _ to get a reality check and realise that it takes more that a dream to have a business. And we were in debt too—we’d spent so much money on the shop and the tools, and we couldn’t pay back any of it. It was like watching a tower crumble to the ground.

“Yuugo didn’t give up as easily as me, but then again he was always the bigger dreamer. When we didn’t even have food on the table, when we were huddled in patchy sweaters, he would tell me, ‘Don’t worry, Rin-rin! The world just doesn’t know how amazing we are yet!’ He still believed that we would get customers, that someday someone would come to us and business would be booming.

“It doesn’t work like that though.”

Rin lifts her head and looks to Yuzu. Her expression has grown haunted, the shadows of the building creeping over her sharp cheekbones and hollow eyes. 

“Do you know what I did, Hiiragi Yuzu?”

Yuzu knows  _ exactly  _ what Rin did … because she made the same wish.

“I made a contract with Zarc, and I wished that people would come to our shop to have their bikes fixed.”

Yuzu knows the story can’t end well, but she finds herself leaning forward, eager for more. She wants to know what happened … and how she can make it so that the same thing doesn’t happen to her and Yuuya. 

“The next day, business was booming—out the door, around the block, people were lining up to have their bikes fixed. We got phone calls every day of new customers asking if we could come and tune their racing bikes. It was scary how quickly our business erupted, but I remember seeing Yuugo’s smile that first day. He had his face flecked with grease and oil, wearing his brand-new coveralls with the stripe up the side of them. He told me he was the happiest person in the world. He told me a miracle had happened. He told me he’d never loved me more than he did that day—me, crouching down by a bike, wearing coveralls too. 

“But then I became a puella magi too, and I wasn’t in the shop every day. I told him I had to do private business, and to my surprise Yuugo was OK with it. In the mornings, I would hunt dragons, and he would fix bikes. I’d come home and he’d still be working. There was never a short supply of clientele, and Yuugo never turned a single person away.”

Rin spins on her heels, eyes narrowed. “You know what? I actually enjoyed being a puella magi for those first couple months. I used to wake up, kiss Yuugo on the cheek if he’d actually gone to bed, and think to myself, ‘I’m the luckiest girl in the world.’ I thought I was the strongest puella magi ever, and that nothing could ever stop me. Yuugo and I, we were making a real difference in the world. We were happy.”

Her expression softens. “But one morning, I started to notice something about Yuugo: he was thinner. And his breathing was sometimes ragged. He rarely ate. Or slept, and when he did it was on the shop floor, passed out on a table. He was always sick, and by the time he got over one cold he was coming down with the next one. But he never stopped working, not even when he was driving himself down to the ground. And … and I knew this—I knew he was killing himself—but I was too wrapped up in my own puella magi world that I never saw what I was doing to him.”

With a sob, Rin lifts her hand up to the rafters. Yuzu follows Rin’s hand. There’s … a rope. Tied to the rafter, and hanging far enough down that, if someone stood on the table, they’d be able to reach it.

Yuzu feels her stomach flip.

_ No.  _

“I came home from puella magi work, not even three months after I have made my contract and the wish, and Yuugo was  _ there.  _ Hanging. With a rope wrapped around his neck. He’d closed all the doors to the shop, shut down the business, and hung himself out of …” Her voice seizes up, and she clears her throat. “I don’t even know why. There was n-no note, nothing left behind. And he was  _ fine  _ that morning, exhaustedly telling me to have a good day at work. My terrible wish came true. My terrible wish had consequences though, worse than I ever could have imagined. And … and I wished that upon Yuugo. It was because of my wish that he died. You could even say … I killed him.”

“No …” Yuzu says. 

Rin kicks her foot into the table; it doesn't budge, but it shakes violently on its legs. “I  _ did!”  _ Rin screams. “Don’t you try and pity me, Hiiragi fucking Yuzu, and tell me that my wish didn’t kill the only person that mattered in my life. It’s because of my fucking selfishness that Yuugo is dead. It’s because of me that I’m alone, that I messed up, that I foolishly made this consequence. You don’t get to blame other people for choices that  _ you  _ made.”

Yuzu feels her blood run cold. “B-but—”

“Just  _ don’t,”  _ Rin says. “I don’t want your damn pity.” She takes a deep breath through her nose, wiping at her wet eyes with the back of her hand. “Yuugo suffered because I made that wish all on my own, for my own needs. When you use magic for others, you aren’t taking into account what they really want. You think you might be helping them … but you’re hurting them. Miracles and wishes aren’t free—there are consequences. It’s like an exchange: when you create hope, despair follows.”

Rin crosses back towards the room and stops so close to Yuzu that, if Yuzu bent forwards, she’d be able to put her chin on Rin’s forehead. 

“We both made the same mistake—making wishes for others. I’ve seen the consequences of mine, and I hope you never see the consequences of yours. If you’re regretting your choices … don’t. You already made your first mistake. But stop hanging on to hope. Stop trying to pay back what you received. You made that wish  _ for yourself.  _ Remember that.”

With her teeth in her lip, Yuzu slowly brings her hands up. She sets one hand on Rin’s shoulder, not even squeezing. Just touching her. Rin’s shoulders bounce with her forced breaths, in and out of her nose and mouth like a dragon. She doesn’t pull away. Yuzu sets her other hand on Rin’s shoulder and brings them together.

It’s not quite a hug; Yuzu isn’t even sure what it is. But she feels Rin relax just a bit, and Yuzu herself feels relaxed. Both of them close their eyes. Yuzu imagines that she’s anywhere but here, maybe in an idyllic forest or walking on a beach. She imagines feeling the grass or sand on her toes, and the breeze on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu whispers to Rin.

“ … yeah,” Rin says back.

“I never knew …”

“No one does.”

“But …”

Rin stiffens under Yuzu’s hands.

“But I don’t regret using my wish for my friend. I won’t ever regret that. I didn’t overpay either, and I’m … sorry what happened to you—”

Rin snaps out of her hands, falling back against the opposite table. She winces it pain, but her lips are pulled back in a tight snarl. “You fucking—”

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu says again, “but our circumstances are different. I’m not hurting Yuuya … and I’m not regretting using my wish for his sake. I can do countless wonderful things with the powers I’ve been given, and I’m proud I used my strongest power for my closest friend.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I might be,” Yuzu says, holding her head up high, “but I made the right choice.” She slips down from the table, glancing around at the garage. “You had a wonderful dream, Rin, and I’m sorry things turned out like that. I truly, truly am. But”—she looks over her shoulder—“don’t you dare tell me that things will turn out like that for me. It doesn’t work like that.”

Rin slams her fist on the table, and the sound echoes and reverberates against the metal walls of the shop. “You—you fucking idiot, listen to me! Listen to a damn word coming out my mouth—”

“I need to go home,” Yuzu says. She opens the garage door, spotting the warm, sunny weather outside. She wonders just how Rin managed to get the shop all the way out here, and how long it’s been since  _ anyone’s  _ visited it. Back inside the shop though, it’s grown darker. It looks like all the dust has returned and settled too, and standing in the middle of the room is Rin. She has her head bowed, but Yuzu can still see she’s crying.

“If you try and fight me … that’s OK. You don’t have to agree with me, Rin. You’ve been hurt too. But I’ll fight in my own way, saving precious human lives. I’ll give it my all because I care about every single person in the dimensions, including you. And that’s why, if you come to kill me, I’ll give it my all—and I  _ won’t lose.” _

And without another word, Yuzu closes the door and heads back down the path. She doesn’t look over her shoulder to see if Rin follows her, but she doesn’t hear a single footstep. The forest is quieter than it has ever been. 


	23. Twenty-Three

Yuzu wakes up to lips pressed to the crown of her head. The lips are then replaced by a hand that musses her hair, still up in pigtails from yesterday. With a groan, she peeks up through her bangs. Her father is smiling down at her. 

“How’re you feeling today, sweetie?” he says, brushing the palm of his hands under her bangs. “No fever or anything …”

Yuzu forces a smile on her lips. “I’m … fine,” she says. “I’m going to school today.”

“Glad to hear you’re feeling better.” The hand musses up her bangs once more, and then her father heads back out the door. Yuzu feels a stab of pain in her heart, but she quickly gathers herself up for the day. She’s still in yesterday’s clothes, and the memories of being in the garage with Rin puts a sick feeling in her stomach. Yuzu still feels guilty about that …

She tries not to let it eat away at her, at least not at the breakfast table. She sits across the table from her father who is busy building starter decks for his junior students. Yuzu watches him create the decks as she eats her breakfast. Her father is lucky he got into the duel school business during its prime time. Yuzu never remembers her father struggling, not even after her mother left and it was just the two of them in the house.

“How are classes going?” her father asks, not looking up from his work.

“Fine,” Yuzu says.

“And your friends—how are they?”

“Fine.”

Her father peeks over the edge of the cards with a twinkle in his eyes. “And Yuuya—how is he doing?”

Yuzu nearly drops her fork. “He—he’s … he’s been discharged from the hospital. He should be back in school today too.”

“Well that’s good news,” her father says. “I remember when I got into that accident back then—mind you, I just sprained my ankle and couldn’t jump around for a couple weeks, but I can remember the first time I got back on my feet and leapt through the air. I bet Yuuya’s feeling much, much better outside of that stuffy hospital room.”

Yuzu swallows thickly. “Y-yeah …”

She finishes up the rest of her breakfast and then washes the dishes while her father continues to sort the cards. When she’s done, Yuzu packs her bag for school. She makes sure to say goodbye to her father before she goes, but it’s only when she’s out the door does Yuzu let herself slump forward. Her heart feels like it weighs a million pounds. Her body does too … It’s like she really is a shell of herself. 

_ I can erase my physical pain,  _ she thinks,  _ but this aching pain in my heart … that will never go away. _

For the first few legs of the walk to school, Yuzu doesn’t even realise where she is. The blue skies and sunshine don’t cheer her up. She smells fresh pastries and cakes in the shop window of a bakery, but even that doesn’t make her turn her head. Yuzu keeps her head bowed and her shoulders hunched. If she were to close her eyes and cover her ears, would she be able to block out the pain? Would she be able to keep moving through the day?

Everywhere Yuzu looks too, she thinks she sees Rin—in the shop window, around the corner of an alleyway, across the street. Yuzu feels like she’s being watched at all times, but she doesn’t see a single familiar face until she meets up with Ruri and Mieru and continues her walk to school.

Mieru looks the same—smiling, ruby cheeks, hair in tight, red ringlets. Ruri, however, looks as pale as a ghost. She chews on her dry lips, looking as if she has something to say but can’t spit out. Yuzu lifts one side of her lips.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” Mieru says. She leans in close and slaps her hand over Yuzu’s forehead. “You still sick, Yuzu? You look so pale, just like Ruri here.”

“I’m just a bit tired this morning,” Ruri says. She smiles at Yuzu.

Yuzu feels like her stomach is in her throat. Glancing up at Mieru’s hand on her head, she says, “I had a bit of a fever yesterday, but I’m much better. Must have been a 12-hour bug or something.”

Mieru clicks her tongue. “Are you staying up late every night, Yuzu? That’s not good for your health—you need your sleep.” Dragging her hands down Yuzu’s face, Mieru adds, “Geez, you look as tired as Ruri here. What, are you two on top-secret missions or something?”

“Must be the moon,” Yuzu says with a forced laugh. 

Mieru removes her hands though, and with one more click of her tongue begins to walk towards the school. Yuzu follows her; Ruri lags a step behind. She really does look tired, Yuzu realises, and she wonders what might have happened yesterday to Ruri. Did she talk to Serena? Or maybe even Rin? 

_ Yuzu,  _ Ruri says through the mind link.

Yuzu glances over her shoulder.  _ Hm? Oh, don’t worry—I’m fine now. It’s nothing to worry about. _

When Yuzu looks back around, she nearly falls into Mieru. Mieru’s stopped in the middle of the walkway, and even when Yuzu crashes into her, Mieru stands her ground.

“Hey, what’s the hold—”

Yuuya. He’s come back to school. It’s been so long since Yuzu has seen him in his school uniform: the white blazer and pants, with the collar all the way to his chin. His hair is messy though, the rustled strands only managed by a pair of goggles atop his head. He’s walking with a group of boys, his old friends prior to his injury. Yuzu notes the crutches under his arms. He hasn’t healed completely, but he looks … better.

He looks better than Yuzu has ever seen him. His face is clean with the biggest smile stretching from ear to ear. 

“Yuuya was discharged from the hospital already …” Mieru says.

Yuzu nods. Mieru is a duel student too, but while she does study at You Show, she has been leaning away from Entertainment dueling and instead focusing on Divination dueling. There’s a school in Maiami City that specialises in Divination duels too. 

“Y-yeah,” Yuzu says. “He’s been out for a couple days now.”

If Yuzu didn’t know better, Mieru smirks. “Are you going to go talk to him, Yuzu?”

Yuzu stiffens. “Eh?” she squeaks. 

Spinning around, Mieru gives her a push forward. “Maybe he’s looking for you—”

“Oh no, it’s fine … really. I’ll … say hello later.”

Mieru shrugs it off and continues on, but when Ruri passes her Yuzu sees her eyes soften and glisten with unshed tears. Yuzu shakes her head though. She wants to talk to Yuuya and act like nothing has happened, but Yuuya will hug her … feel her zombie body … act like it was a miracle he recovered. When she looks at Yuuya, all she can think of is the pain she’s caused herself. It’s all her fault, after all. This is the result—the consequence—of her wish. It was easier when she was shouting at Rin, but now that Yuzu is here, standing not ten feet away from Yuuya, she thinks maybe there was truth to Rin’s words. 

Fortunately, Yuuya isn’t in her homeroom class, so Yuzu never gets a chance to see him. All day she doodles in her notebooks and gazes at her desk, hoping that time will zip by and she can return to her bed. At times, it really does feel like her soul is outside of her body, and she’s watching herself as some third person. More than once she misses the words Ruri and Mieru say to her, and eventually they stop talking to her altogether.

At lunch time, Yuzu refuses to eat up on the roof, or even in the classroom. Her stomach is killing her, and she goes to the nurse’s office to lie down. 

Yet come the end of school, Yuzu can’t escape her friends’ curious stares, especially Mieru’s. She’s used to Ruri staring at her, especially these past couple weeks after the contract. But now Mieru’s watching her with her teeth in her lips, and it sets Yuzu’s own teeth on edge. She and Mieru get along … but when Mieru looks at her, it feels like Rin’s stare.

_ Maybe it’s the amber-coloured eyes,  _ Yuzu thinks.

That still doesn't sit well with her. 

“Yuzu?” Mieru says. “Want to go out for ice cream today?”

“… huh?”

“Ice cream,” Mieru repeats. “I think you could use it.”

The last thing Yuzu needs is sweet food. She’ll just end up feeling even sicker. No, Yuzu wants to go home and lie on her bed and sleep the next hundred years away, until everyone she knows and cares and loves is  _ gone  _ and she won’t feel the pain of being connected to anyone anymore—

“I  _ really  _ think you could use it,” Mieru tells her. “I’ll even pay for the both of us.”

Yuzu swallows the pit in her throat. It would be rude to turn Mieru away … and maybe what she does need is some food. She’s barely eaten today as it is.

To their side, Ruri says, “I’m sorry, I have something to do today, so I’ll go ahead. See you tomorrow, you two.”

Ruri never has anything to do after school; Yuzu knows this because normally she and Yuzu walk home together while Mieru goes to her club activities, and unless Yuzu takes Ruri to the ice cream shop, Ruri goes home and does homework and reads. Yuzu doesn’t call Ruri out on her lie though, just smiles another forced smile and then follows Mieru out another door.

For the entire walk to the ice cream shop, they don’t speak. Yuzu feels goosebumps prickle all along her skin, and she’s cold even though it’s a warm, spring day. They pass students walking into town too, and Mieru, ever the social butterfly, greets them with a smile. Normally Yuzu would smile at them too, since she does know  _ of  _ them, but today she keeps her gaze on the ground and walks behind Mieru.

The ice cream parlour is moderately busy today, and just like all the times Yuzu has come here before with her friends, she and Mieru take their ice cream to one of the booth seats. Yuzu picked the fanciest flavour she could spot, but once she brings it to the table it no longer looks appetizing. Across from her, Mieru licks whipped topping off the end of her spoon. She’s got a sundae of some kind—Yuzu never saw what Mieru picked out.

They eat in silence for a moment, with Yuzu twirling her spoon in her dessert. The sun feels sticky on her face, and the clinks and clatters of the parlour are beginning to give her a headache. Now more than ever Yuzu wishes she were in bed curled, curled up under the covers, with the window and blinds closed. 

“Yuzu.” Mieru sets down her spoon. “There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you … a secret, perhaps.”

Yuu’s eyes flicker down to Mieru’s wrist, but there’s no bracelet.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, all right, but … I’m leaving You Show Duel School.”

“You’re …”

“Leaving,” Mieru finishes. “I’m transferring to Unno Divination School.”

Yuzu feels her shoulders visibly relax. She rolls them back and lifts her head, feeling herself begin to unwind. “Oh … oh, well that’s both good and bad news, I guess. I mean, I’ll really miss training with you, but then I’ll see you in school, and I really want you to follow your dreams. You mentioned that at practice once—about wanting to go to Unno and all that—”

“Yuuya is coming with me.”

Yuzu pauses. “H-huh?”

“I called Yuuya last night, and he said he’d give Unno a chance. He’s transferring with me. Maybe he won’t like it, maybe he will … but I thought, seeing as how you two are close friends, I should let you know—”

“But wait, why are you telling me—why not Yuuya—”

“He’ll tell you too, I’m sure,” she says, “but I wanted to be the first one. I wanted to let you know before he did … because I think you might be angry, Yuzu.”

She  _ is,  _ but Yuzu will be damned if she lets her emotions get ahead of her. “A-angry?” Yuzu says. “No, no—you don’t need to coddle me like that.”

“I’m not coddling you,” Mieru says, taking another bite of her ice cream. “But wasn’t Yuuya meant to be your partner? His accident stopped him. When I asked him, I thought he might say no. I thought he would want to stay with you. But I think … dueling is more than just a style. It’s a dance.” Mieru folds her hands together. “Don’t think I made this choice without Yuuya’s input, all right? This isn’t me telling you that I got your partner—”

“Then what is it?” Yuzu growls low in her throat. “Then what the hell are you telling me for?”

“So you’re not disappointed when Yuuya tells you he picked me.” Mieru shrugs her shoulders. “I know you wanted to be his partner, Yuzu. I know you were waiting for him to get better so that you could dance with him. I’m sorry things didn’t turn out that way. Truly.”

Mieru … She knew Yuuya was Yuzu’s partner, and yet—and yet she convinced him to transfer. Yuzu has no idea how, or why, and it’s not up to her to make those kinds of choices for Yuuya—but  _ damn it she made her wish so  _ she  _ could duel with him!  _ She made that wish so she could dance with Yuuya around a starlit stage to their own theme song.

And now—and now that dream has fallen into despair.

_ It’s not like Rin. It’s not  _ anything  _ like Rin’s wish.  _

And yet … it is. 

_ Did Rin curse me?  _ Yuzu thinks.  _ Did she put a spell on me? Or is this all a dream? Am I going to wake up in my bed and realise I did actually have a fever? This can’t be real—this can’t be true. No, none of this could be true at all because Yuuya wouldn’t leave me— _

“I’m sorry about this,” Mieru says. “But I hope we can still be friends. I hope you don’t hate me for this.”

_ You don’t want to hear the answer to that. _

Pain flares everywhere around her. But Yuzu sits as still as she can, hands clenched so tightly into her uniform that her knuckles feel like they could rip her skin. Yuzu doesn’t catch Mieru’s slight bow or her departure. She doesn’t even hear the door click closed.

Yuzu’s mind feels like in encased in jelly. She doesn’t feel like herself at all, like she’s existing outside of her body. On her wrist, Yuzu sees the gentle glow of her Soul Gem. She pinches her fingers around it and feels a shock of pain through her body, yet that’s nothing compared to the blistering, soul-wrenching agony she feels in her heart. 

_ How … how could she? _

_ How could  _ he?

Maybe … maybe she did wish for something selfish. Maybe she did wish for Yuuya to get better so that she could duel with him again. Maybe what Yuzu wanted in life was to keep dueling with Yuuya for all eternity, and there was  _ not a damn thing wrong with that wish.  _ That wasn’t selfish—she was thinking about Yuuya! She helped him get back on his feet. She helped him get better.

So then why is she being punished for her kindness? Why didn’t it work like it was supposed to? Why … why would …

Yuzu leaps from her seat, her hand clapping to her mouth. She rushes out of the shop door, her stomach flip-flopping. Yuzu runs though, as fast and as far as she can. She runs until her breath comes out in pants and her weary body tumbles to the ground in a heap on the grass. She doesn’t even realise she’s run to the same tree Ruri once cried under.

Yuzu doesn’t care about  _ anything.  _


	24. Twenty-Four

Yuzu fixes her hair in the mirror, pulling at her pigtails. She’s not quite sure how she “transforms”—does that require magic? Will her Grief Seed get cloudy from that? And how come she’s in  _ this  _ outfit? Who had a say in her wearing a pink dress? She likes the musical notes on the collar, and her socks with the music notes on them too, but if she had a say in what she wore she would’ve liked to have a cape. Then she would have felt like a queen. Instead, she feels like a toddler dressing up for costume day. She doesn’t even feel right in her skin, as if she’s wearing a “Hiiragi Yuzu” costume. The real her is inside her bracelet; the real her is a small, pink gem.

Swallowing back a sob, Yuzu reaches into her jewellery box and pulls out a small, blue crystal wrapped with silver wings. It’s Yuuya’s pendulum; he has one just like it, but he gave this one to her when he told her he wanted to be her partner. That was before Yuuya’s accident though. Maybe the injury caused some memory loss and Yuuya forgot that promise, but Yuzu never, ever forgot.

She slips the necklace over her head, letting the pendulum rest on her chest. With each sigh she takes, Yuzu feels the pendulum push against her skin. It feels so much heavier than it ought to be too …

Now ready, Yuzu climbs up onto her bed and opens the window. She slips outside, clenching her teeth at the cool, nighttime air. The street lamps are already on, and Yuzu spots long, haunting shadows stretching across the scratched pavement. But standing in the light is someone Yuzu does know—Ruri, sitting on the bench by the lamppost, with her hands in her lap.

Yuzu jumps down to the ground and waves. “Hey.”

Ruri lifts her head and blinks long and slow. It’s obvious she’s been crying; her cheeks are pink, her nose red, and she sniffles when Yuzu comes closer. Still though, she smiles a watery smile. “Hi.”

Yuzu doesn’t move. Is Ruri …

Ruri stands, hands still folded in front of her. “Um, Yuzu … if you don’t mind … can I come with you on your dragon hunt?”

Yuzu feels her heart clench up in her chest. She swallows back a sob, already feeling tears bubble in her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry; she’s been crying all evening, and the last thing … the last thing she wants is …

“I don’t want you to be alone tonight,” Ruri says. “So please …”

Yuzu hears the sob before she feels it—an ugly, pained whine creaking from her thought like some kind of wounded animal. Yuzu slaps a hand to her mouth, and her other hand shields her eyes from view. But she keeps sobbing, her shoulders hitching as she struggles to breathe.

“W-why? Why—”

Warm, gentle arms come around to hug her. Yuzu has never felt a hug like this before, but something tells her Ruri has hugged someone like this before. Ruri must have hugged dozens of girls like this, and yet Yuzu melts into her touch, burying her face into the crevice between Ruri’s neck and shoulder.

“W-why are you so nice, Ruri?” Yuzu sobs into her shirt. “I don’t deserve this, no I don’t. I’m not kind, or compassionate—I don’t deserve your kindness—”

Ruri’s hand strokes the back of her head.

“Today, I almost regretted what I did … what wish I made. Me, regret anything? Regret helping someone I care about? I … wished I could take it all back. I wished I never made that contract, never made a wish. I’m so stupid, aren’t I?”

Ruri coos in her shoulder, but her voice sounds choked.

Yuzu buries her head deeper. “And—and more than that, I wished … I hadn’t saved Mieru that night. I regretted helping her, and that’s—that’s so, so horrible, Ruri. I became a puella magi so I could help people, so I could make wishes come true, and yet … And yet I regretted saving her. My friend, my dear friend—I wished she was  _ dead.” _

Ruri’s arm clench around Yuzu’s shoulder. Now Yuzu can hear Ruri sobbing too, quietly and not nearly as dramatically as Yuzu’s gasps and whines. They must look like quite the sight standing outside of Yuzu’s house: two girls, sobbing into each other’s shoulders, barely able to form sentences.

“I’m a horrible person,” Yuzu says. “I’m j-just like those other selfish puella magi, like … like Rin, maybe even like Serena. And I thought I was special, I thought I was different from them, but I’m  _ not.  _ I’m  _ just like them,  _ just as selfish and greedy and needy. How could I ever believe I could be like Miss Ray?”

With a choked sob, Yuzu grabs hold of the back of Ruri’s jacket. She feels Ruri stiffen, but they don’t break away.

“Ruri … Mieru and Yuuya are transferring to another duel school. I’m going to be all alone.” A sniffle. “A-and there isn’t anything I can do about it, not a single damn thing. I used my wish to make Yuuya all better so that he could be with  _ me  _ and now he’s going with  _ her  _ and I wish I never made that wish and I wish Mieru  _ died!  _ I wish she fucking died, Ruri! I’m a horrible, horrible person with this zombie-body. Why would anyone want to touch me—why, why are you even touching me?”

Ruri doesn’t let go.

“I don’t want to live like this, Ruri. I d-don’t want to be a puella magi anymore. I don’t want to fight, and kill, and die. I want my soul back in my body. I want to eat ice cream with you and have the biggest worry in the world be high school entrance exams. But I can’t take any of it back, not my wish not my powers not  _ anything!  _ I’m stuck like this until I  _ die!” _

As if those words were the final straw, Ruri tumbles into her. They both fall to the ground, knees banging on the cement. Yuzu barely registers the pain in her legs; everywhere else hurts. She feels like her soul has been rent in two. 

“I’m … sorry,” Ruri whispers to her. “I’m … I’m so, so sorry, Yuzu.”

Yuzu shakes her head. The more she cries, the worse she feels, but she can’t stop herself. She sobs her heart out until her eyes are dry and her voice cracked and broken. Ruri’s arms never let go, not at least until Yuzu hears something  _ crack!  _ behind her. It sounds like the world coming to swallow her up, and Yuzu hopes it does. Instead though, she sees the colours of the world begin to warp.

Yuzu gasps.  _ No, not near my house— _

The dragon’s barrier bursts in a kaleidoscopic storm, painting the entire world with patterns and colours. The buildings become tall, white towers that princesses could be trapped inside, patterned with ivy vines that creep across every available surface. The sky is covered in ivies too, and only slivers of sunlight appear. 

Yuzu finds herself standing on a white stone bridge leading to one of the towers. There are no handrails on either side, so if she fell off she would topple down into the white, fluffy clouds below. She must be high in the sky then. 

Next to her, Ruri stiffens. “Yuzu …” she whispers.

Yuzu snatches up her bracelet. Underneath her fingers, the gem pulses warmly. Yuzu finds the power locked with her and she takes a deep, steadying breath. Out of nowhere her fans appear, attached to her hands like they’re extensions of her body. Yuzu swipes them to the side, rising to her feet. She stands in front of Ruri, blocking her from view. 

“Stay back,” Yuzu says.

She doesn’t check to make sure Ruri has understood her.

Like a dancer, Yuzu leaps through the sky. She bounces from cloud to cloud, soaring and arcing through the clouds, using the buildings as stepping stones. She spots the familiars first, little kites with long tails, but Yuzu ignores those in favour of charging up towards the top of the world. She can feel the dragon’s soul waiting for her up there.

Sure enough, Yuzu finds it. Just as she stretches up over the last tower, she sees the dragon. Like the previous times, it’s not a dragon but some princess eldritch abomination, with a long, graceful body made of vines that slide one atop of the other. It’s like the princess atop the tower was consumed by nature, and her body keeps morphing and growing.

Yuzu swallows thickly. The last time she saw a dragon was with Ray …

_ That won’t happen again,  _ Yuzu thinks. She tightens her grip on her fans, swinging them out in front of her. 

Just as Yuzu prepares to jump, something catches on her ankle—a vine, decorated with small, pink flowers. Yuzu screams as she loses her balance and falls to the ground, bonking her elbows on the stone below. Another vine creeps up her other leg, and hurriedly Yuzu begins slashing with her fans.

Another vine grabs her arm.

“Lemme go!” she screeches. “No, no—lemme go, lemme go!” 

She’s only been in this world for a minute, has barely had a chance to fight a dragon—surely this can’t be the end?

From above her a figure swoops down, jabbing her metal pole right down on a vine tendril poking over the edge. The vine screams as if sentient, and Yuzu feels one of the vines let go of her leg. Ahead of her, Rin swings her pole around and jabs at another vine.

“R … rin?”

“You’ve got to be the stupidest puella magi I’ve ever met,” Rin growls. She jabs at the remaining vines, freeing Yuzu’s legs and arms. Before Yuzu has a chance to thank Rin, or even to stand up, Rin leaps from the ground and runs up the tower, back towards the dragon at the top.

Yuzu shakes herself free and dashes behind Rin. Catching the tailwind, Yuzu runs until she can step on the backs of Rin’s heels.

“That’s  _ mine,”  _ she snarls. “Stop butting in!”

“If I hadn’t butted in,” Rin says, “you would be  _ dead.” _

Yuzu swallows thickly, but she dashes forward, past Rin, and up over the edge of the building. She sees the dragon again, this time with vines spewing from its body. Yuzu balances on the ledge and takes one last deep breath. She feels her Soul Gem on her skin, warm and comforting. In her heart, Yuzu feels a twinge of pain.

_ I wish I never felt any more pain,  _ Yuzu thinks.  _ I wish I was never hurt by anyone. _

She lifts her head to the dragon and charges forward.

Yuzu doesn’t even recognise when her fans sink through the dragon’s vines. She doesn’t feel the splatters of blood on her cheeks, or the resistance as her fans meet what can only be bone. She doesn’t feel the cuts on her arms or the bruises on her knees. With all these attacks, she should feel her muscles scream and her lungs burn. But she doesn’t feel anything. All Yuzu feels is her Soul Gem, and its warmth fills her up. Yuzu keeps swinging her fans, a rhythm only she can maintain, a song only she can sing.

Behind her, she hears Ruri scream her name again and again.

_ It’s OK,  _ Yuzu wants to tell her.  _ It’s all right, Ruri. _

But over the sound of her hacking and slashing, Yuzu doubts anyone would be able to hear her. She doesn’t stop though, even when she hears the  _ snap!  _ of something, and the dragon tumbles to the ground. When the dragon falls, the entire barrier begins to shake and dissolve. Yuzu keeps slashing though. It’s not enough, her mind tells her. It will never, ever be enough.

“Stop it, Yuzu—”

Yuzu tilts her head back, feeling her neck creak and groan. “Stop what?”

Then, with one last heave, she drives her fans down into the dragon. She hears snaps and cracks and groans, and blood coats her hands, her legs, her chest, her face. Yuzu feels blood in her eyes and on her lips, and when she smiles she even feels it in her teeth. It reminds her that she’s alive, that she’s killed—

That she  _ survived. _

“Yuzu!”

“Isn’t this better?” Yuzu says, driving her fans deeper into the dragon’s corpse. “I can’t feel a thing, Ruri—not the pain, not the hurt, not  _ anything  _ that could ever happen to me. For the first time ever, I can take a breath.”

Someone grabs her shoulder—Rin, because only Rin would be stupid enough to touch her—and Yuzu swings a fan around, clipping Rin on the shoulder. It’s a shallow cut, but Rin still steps back and hisses at the wound.

“I’ll kill you too,” Yuzu says. “I’ll kill all the bad in this world—the bad dragons, the bad puella magi, the bad friends.”

Through the blood in her eyes, Yuzu can’t see much, but she sees Rin standing several feet away from her, limp hands barely holding onto her pole. Her face is covered in blood, bangs wet and sticky and pressed to her forehead. There’s a small, clean area around her eyes from where her tears have fallen.

Ruri stands next to her. She’s flecked with blood too, but her face is red from all her crying. 

“I’m sorry, Yuzu,” she says, voice choked.

Yuzu is sorry too—sorry that she made a wish in the first place.


	25. Twenty-Five

  
Yuzu wipes the blood from her eyes, flicking it away with her fingers. It still sticks to every inch of her, and she soon realises it’s fruitless to try wiping away blood when she’s coated in it. There’s not a single spot on her uniform that isn’t dirty and stained, and her hands and fans are both reddish-brown. Yuzu feels her stomach twist at the sight, but then her bracelet warms her, as if reminding her who she is, why she’s fighting, who she’s fighting for.

_I’m fighting for me._

The barrier has nearly faded away from them, and Yuzu finds herself still outside of her house. The streetlights are on, and the artificial glow makes the blood even more gruesome. Standing on the sidewalk are Ruri and Rin, the former hiding her face with her hands, and the latter with her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

Yuzu spins around on her heels and does a small curtsy. “It’s easier than I thought it would be … fighting dragons, that is.”

Rin _humphs!_

Yuzu shrugs her shoulders. “Once you get the hang of it … once you find your rhythm … it’s just a dance. A dance with a partner, with only one winner.” She lifts her head. “There’s no way I could lose.”

“That kind of attitude will get you killed,” Rin says.

“I’m going to die anyways,” Yuzu says.

On the ground, Yuzu sees the Grief Seed the dragon dropped. It’s small and black, and yet its opaqueness can still glow at night. Yuzu plucks it up and tosses it from hand to hand. It’s rather light, and the intricate, metal casing keeps the gem from being broken. Yuzu’s eyes flick to her own Soul Gem—tainted, hazy … but not depleted.

_Puella magi who only fight at full strength are those who are afraid of getting hurt._

Yuzu tosses it at Rin, hoping it might hit her shoulder. Rin’s hand snaps out of the air and catches it though, and she holds it between thumb and forefinger as if she’s examining a precious stone. She doesn’t say anything, but one eyebrow raises up into her hairline, daring Yuzu to answer.

“You need it more than I do—can’t fight unless you’re at full power, right?”

Rin huffs, cheeks reddening.

Yuzu doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter how other puella magi fight so long as they stay out of her way. All Rin did was get in her way and try and stop her. Yuzu nearly slaughtered her then and there, but stilled her hands because Ruri was there too. Yuzu wouldn’t want to kill someone in front of Ruri. She’s got more tact than that.

Yuzu turns once more on her heel and begins to walk away—not towards her house, but to town. She needs to cool herself down and clean up, and the last thing she wants her father to see is the blood on her face.

“Yuzu, where are you—”

“Come on, Ruri,” she says. “We’re done here.”

She hears Ruri step towards her—and then Yuzu doesn’t hear anything but a roaring sound in her ears, and her vision goes white and black, and she feels herself fall forward and down. She prepares herself to make impact with the ground, bust up her chin and arms in the process; only instead Ruri manages to grab her arm and tug her up, and so Yuzu’s head lolls against Ruri’s shoulders.

“Huh—”

“Here, let me help you,” Ruri says.

Yuzu thinks about the blood on her body. Why would Ruri want to touch her zombie-like body covered in blood? Why isn’t Ruri running away?

Too tired to voice the questions, Yuzu lets herself droop on Ruri as they walk away. Ruri’s steps are slow and steady, and though Yuzu has begun to feel the weariness on her body, she can keep up with Ruri’s pace. Yuzu doesn’t have to voice where she wants to go. Ruri just seems to know, leading Yuzu down to one of the quiet yet lit parks in Maiami City. Maple trees border their path until they reach a clearing with several benches and a water fountain.

Gently, Ruri sets Yuzu down on the bench and then heads to the fountain. Yuzu doesn’t see what Ruri’s doing, but she hears the rip of fabric. The next thing Yuzu knows is, someone is wiping her face clean with a soft cloth. Yuzu’s eye roll closed and she leans into the touch.

“Tell me … if it stings,” Ruri whispers.

Yuzu nods her head.

She lets Ruri clean her off, starting with her face and then moving onto her neck and arms. Yuzu supposes that there wouldn’t be any clothes around, but that’s all right. When she changed back into her school attire instead of her uniform, the blood stains still remained. Yuzu doesn’t have a single injury on her, not even a cut or scratch, but until Ruri cleans her up, she looks like she took a bath in a pool of blood.

About halfway through cleaning her, Yuzu feels something else on her cheeks: rain. It pelts down from the heavens in great globs, soaking her clothes to her skin. It cleans her too, but all too soon Yuzu feels shivers run down her spine. In front of her, Ruri shakes like a leaf. Her hair sticks to her pale, wan face. She keeps her teeth in her lips as she cleans.

“You don’t … have to do this,” Yuzu says after a moment. “The rain’ll clean me up.”

Ruri’s teeth sink deeper into her lip. Her hand hesitates its brushing, but then she continues wiping Yuzu’s arm down.

“Hey, Ruri … stop. It’s OK.”

“It’s _not.”_

The force of her words shocks Yuzu.

“Not?” Yuzu echoes.

Ruri nods her head. “Yuzu, please … please stop fighting like that.”

“Fighting ‘like that?’” Yuzu doesn’t understand. She’s a puella magi—she has to fight. It’s in her nature.

“I understand you have to fight dragons, and you might even have to fight dangerous people … but you … you erased your pain, didn’t you?” Ruri looks up, meeting Yuzu’s eyes. “I saw what you did, and … and it scared me. If you erase your pain, you won’t know what you’re doing. You hurt yourself when you did that, did you know? Just—look at all this.”

“I was fine,” Yuzu says.

“You weren’t,” Ruri says. Yuzu can tell she’s trying to keep her voice clear, and never before has Yuzu heard Ruri sound so stern before. “You got injured in that fight—I saw your arm snap, heard your … your bones break, a-and you should have been in pain. I don’t want you in pain, no no, that’s not what I mean—but at the same time I don’t want you getting yourself injured because you won’t feel that pain. You’ll hurt yourself doing that … you’ll break.”

Yuzu swallows a thick pit in her throat. “But Ruri … I won.”

“What—what if you did—”

“I _won,”_ Yuzu says. “I won against that dragon, and I lived, and—and unless I erase my pain, unless I fight with no fear or hesitation or worry, I will live. I don’t have talent—Zarc even said so. I’m just a regular puella magi without any skill, and so unless I try my hardest I will _die._ I’ll actually fucking die, Ruri.”

Ruri nods her head. She’s begun to sniffle, and she wipes her nose on her sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I just …” She begins to wipe away the blood on Yuzu’s arm, pausing once more when she reaches the Soul Gem. Yuzu flinches involuntarily; the last time someone touched it, she was in so much pain. Ruri would never hurt her intentionally, but that gem … that’s all Yuzu has left. Her life exists in that little, glass ball.

Ruri clears her throat. “Yuzu … I think, if I’m … really honest with myself, it’s … not good for you if you win that way.”

Something snaps in Yuzu, not her bones but her pride. It feels like fire rippling across her skin, and Yuzu pulls away as if she’s been burned.

“Sorry—”

“‘Good for me?’” Yuzu says. “What the hell would you know about that, Ruri?”

“What I meant is—”

Yuzu’s legs snap up, and she stands, towering over Ruri. She feels her cheeks grow hot, her face puff up. She feels anger and hate and sadness, and the words tumble out of her cracked lips before she can tug them back in.

“What the hell do you know about any of this, Ruri? What? What? Tell me, how much do you really know about puella magi? How much do you know about me, or Rin, or Ray, or damn even Serena? What could you possibly k-know?”

Ruri shakes her head, tears leaking from her glassy eyes. “I’m sorry …”

“I’m a puella magi and my only job is to fight dragons. That’s all I have left—that’s all I can do. Me, in this dead body, with my soul attached to my _fucking wrist._ I’m like some half-dead abomination. How could anything be good for me? How can I fix anything when I already paid the price and received the consequences?”

Legs shaking, Yuzu begins to pace. Her hands fist in her ponytail and swing back and forth around her. “You don’t know anything about this Ruri, and I’m sorry, but it’s not your place to tell me what to do.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Yuzu sees Ruri dip her head forward, her long bangs tumbling around her pasty cheeks. “I-I’m sorry,” Ruri says. “I was only thinking … about what I can do. What I can do here, right now … for you.”

Yuzu raises her head. “For me?” she hisses.

Though Ruri’s face has gone even whiter, she nods like her neck is broken, bouncing her head up and down.

“You wanna know what you can do?” Yuzu says. She stomps right over again, standing over Ruri. Yuzu feels herself foaming at the lips, but the fire continues to rage in her belly. “You can fucking fight, Ruri.”

“F-fight?” Ruri says. “But—”

“You scared? You want to do the bare minimum and get away with it? Did you really even want to help me in the first place, or are you just saying that to make yourself feel better—”

“N-no, Yuzu, I’m sorry—please, understand—”

“You know what, Ruri? You know what Zarc said?”

Ruri’s eyes glow like rubies in the moonlight, glistening with tears.

Yuzu snarls out the next words, spitting them like acid on her tongue: “Zarc said you have more talent than any other puella magi in the dimensions. You’re the strongest girl in the world, and could be the best warrior. You could save everyone, Ruri, even though you have no experience.”

Ruri’s eyes widen, and her mouth drops. But her lips quiver, and she keeps on crying, and it only makes Yuzu want to run away before she hears Ruri speak.

“That … can’t b-be true,” Ruri says.

“It is!” Yuzu shrieks. “It fucking is. You’re the best puella magi without even doing a single thing, and yet I know you’re going to turn that opportunity down because you’re scared and a coward, and you’re still going to try and tell me not to fight like I have any fucking choice in the matter.”

Yuzu’s hands ball into tight fists.

“If you’re going to talk about doing something for my sake, step into my shoes. Figure out what it’s like to be a puella magi, to give up your entire existence for a single wish. Figure out what it’s like to fight day after day for the survival of humanity when your only friend left thinks you can just back out and continue on. But I know what a coward you are, and how you just want to make yourself feel better, and so you won’t fight with me. You’ll tag along just so you can make yourself feel better. You’ll tell me to stop fighting so you don’t feel guilty about your choice _or_ mine. You’re just going to keep on pitying me, trying to protect me, while not doing a single thing to _help_ me.”

Yuzu feels tears on her cheeks, but she doesn’t dare look away.

“If you actually care, then make the damn wish and fight with me.”

With one last growl, Yuzu turns around and stalks away. She feels the rain on her hair and cheeks, and her feet splash in deep puddles. Yuzu doesn't turn around once though, and she doesn’t hear anyone follow her.

A sob catches in Yuzu’s throat.

“Don’t you dare follow me!” she says, even though she knows Ruri won’t follow her. Ruri won’t put herself in danger. Ruri will do the bare minimum out of guilt and reluctance.

As Yuzu tears through the rainy woods though, splashing and stumbling down the path, she wishes she could hear footsteps behind her. She wishes Ruri were following her so that … so that she could take some of it back, not all of it, but enough so that Yuzu doesn’t feel such a stone in her stomach and a pit in her throat and a cut straight through her heart. When Yuzu does look over her shoulder, she wishes she could see Ruri running after her.

But no one is following her, not a single person.

* * *

Rin slurps noodles from her cup and licks her lips. Over the rim of the cup, and the thick steam billowing from the broth, sits Serena, neatly tucked in on the other side of the table. In front of both of them, and spread out across the table, are maps and plans of the city. Rin has never seen such elaborate work before—it’s like a student who went all-out on their geography project.

Serena taps a section of the map with her finger. “Here. This is where I expect the Dimensional Dragon appear.”

Leaning over the table, Rin peers down at where Serena’s finger is. “But that’s … here. Or, well, near here.”

Serena nods. “To fight it, we’ll need a line of defence. I’ll prioritise parts of the city—”

“How?”

Serena raises an eyebrow. “How what?”

“How will you prioritise the city?” Rin takes another deep slurp of her soup. “What, do you really think you’re the only one who gets a say in who lives and who dies?”

To her surprise, Serena doesn’t even bat an eye and the implied accusation. “There aren’t many people in the world worth saving,” Serena says simply.

Rin whistles under her breath. “Harsh.” She does have to admit though, there aren’t many people in the world she would want to save to. Especially back then, right after Yuugo’s suicide, he was the only person in the world she cared about. Now, if she were to be honest with herself, she might want to save a couple others too—not many, and she certainly wouldn’t put her life on the line for theirs … but if she had the power to save a few lives, she’d do her darndest to save them.

Rin blinks when she realises Serena has been staring intently at her, most likely for a moment too long. “What?” she says.

“From my research, we need to hit at least two of its critical points to take it down.”

“Why two?”

“From my research—”

Rin snorts. “What research? Ain’t this the first time a Dimensional Dragon has appeared?”

Serena merely rolls her shoulders and continues studying her map.

With a growl, Rin leans closer. “Hey.”

Serena doesn’t budge.

“Hey, listen here. Is there something else going on, something you’re not telling me? I know you don’t trust me completely, and to be fair I don’t trust you all that much either and I ain’t saving your ass if you go off on a suicide mission—but couldn’t you tell me a bit more?”

Serena lifts her head, eyes narrowed.

“That would—”

“You.” Serena hisses the word out.

“M—” Rin snaps her head over her shoulder. There, sitting behind her, is Zarc, sitting primly on the floor with his tail around his legs. Rin leaps to her feet with a yelp, spilling hot broth on her hands. That makes her groan too, and when she slams her ramen down on the table, she turns on Zarc and snaps out, “The fuck, you little bastard—what’re you doing here?”

Zarc chuckles. “Good grief, Miss Rin—”

“What’re you doing here, Zarc? You don’t belong here, you know it, and we’ll—”

Zarc sighs, a little whistling noise through his black nose. “Rin, Serena, I haven’t come to do anything but tell you some new information I’ve uncovered that I thought you might like to know.” He clears his throat, sitting up a bit straighter. “It’s about Hiiragi Yuzu.”

Rin swallows. Yuzu … the pink-haired puella magi? The one who, just earlier this evening, was hacking and slashing at a dead dragon? The girl who made herself immune to pain?

Zarc smiles a thin, tight-lipped smile, his green eyes glowing. “Hiiragi Yuzu has exhausted herself faster than I expected. It’s not only from using magic though … no, she’s begun to give birth to a curse.”

Rin feels her blood run cold. Trying to brush off the unease under her skin, she says, “Well that’s probably your fault, Zarc.”

“It might be,” Zarc says with a shrug. “But that won’t change what’s to come. At this rate, you might have another problem on your hands before the Dimensional Dragon appears. I suggest you be cautious.”

Though Zarc has been looking straight at Serena, it’s Rin who speaks up: “Trouble?”

Zarc bows his head forward. “You should know, right, Saotome Serena?”

Rin snaps her head to the side. Serena, what does she know? Yet when Rin looks, she has never seen Serena look more upset, more haunted, more furious than she looks right now. Rin half-expects Serena to march over and kick Zarc out the window, but she stands her ground, eyes smoldering.

“You’ve said what you have to say,” she says. “Now get lost. Out. Now.”

And Zarc does, leaping out through the window with his tail following behind him. Rin never even noticed the window was open, but she feels a breeze on her arms and legs that makes her shiver. She feels like she’s caught in the middle of a cryptic conversation that she’ll never begin to understand.

_Serena’s been a puella magi for a while, right? Longer than I have, or that other girl that used to be here. I wonder how old she is … how old she was when she made the contract. She and Zarc seem to have history though …_

“I’ll deal with Hiiragi Yuzu,” Serena says after a moment.

Rin scoops up her noodles and slurps them again. The hot container in her hands stills the shaking Rin never realised she was doing in the first place.

“Gonna tell me ‘don’t worry?’” Rin says with a laugh.

Serena doesn’t laugh back.

With a guilty shrug, Rin returns to her food. It no longer tastes good though, and all it seems to help her do is stop shaking. She can’t fight the unease in her belly though that something has gone very, very wrong in the dimensions.


	26. Twenty-Six

_ “Hi, Mr. Hiiragi, my name is Kurosaki Ruri. I’m Yuzu’s classmate and friend, and we walk to school together. I was just wondering if Yuzu is sick again today. She said she had a fever a couple days ago … Oh … She hasn’t come home since last night? Do you know where … I see. I’m sorry for bothering you, sir. I’ll check to see if she went to school already, and I’ll call your house later today to let you know. I’m sorry for bothering you; thank you very much.” _

* * *

The bark is scratchy against Yuzu’s back. Her eyes hurt from being up all night … and from crying too. In fact, her entire being hurts, and she feels like if she closed her eyes her soul might flitter away. Every breath she takes sends pains into her lungs; every move she makes creaks her weary bones. She really does feel like she’s wearing a human shell.

More than once, Yuzu thinks about snapping her own bracelet and ending her life. More than once she thinks about throwing her soul away, drowning her soul in the bottom of a lake or tossing it onto the freeway for a car to run over. It wouldn’t hurt, she imagines—just one stab of pain and then she’d be out like a light. She’d never have to worry about anything again: no more familiars, no more dragons, no more puella magi, no more …

Yuzu sniffles.

If she looks over her shoulder and around the tree, she can see Yuuya and Mieru standing in the courtyard. Yuuya is still using crutches, but every time Yuzu sees him he looks a little happier and healthier. He looks better and better, and Yuzu feels like the worst person in the world for wishing he weren’t smiling so brightly. Next to him, Mieru wears a grin too, but it’s a little more coy and cunning, and Yuzu’s insides twist painfully.

For the past half hour, Yuzu has listened to them talk about  _ their _ dream: their dream to be partners forever and dance across the stage. Their dream to let their hearts sing an anthem together as they bring smiles to an audience. It sounds painfully similar to the same dream she and Yuuya had. In fact, it’s the  _ exact same dream. _

Yuzu feels her heart crack a little.

That dream—that was  _ her  _ dream. That was what she made the wish on. She was selfish and wanted a partner, but damn it she knew Yuuya wanted it to. He wanted to be her partner more than anything, and he was dying in that cramped hospital. She rescued him, she visited him at the hospital—and Yuuya left? 

It doesn’t make a shred of sense in her mind or heart.

_ How … could he?  _ She thinks. How could her childhood friend leave her?

Yuzu tries not to blame Yuuya. The last thing she wants to do is hate on Yuuya, but when she looks his way she tastes vomit in her mouth and tears in her eyes, and it takes every last bit of her energy not to break down and cry.

Yuzu doesn’t leave until Mieru and Yuuya do. She watches the two of them leave the field, Mieru hovering around Yuuya as if he’s just left the hospital and hasn’t been on crutches for the past few days already. It makes Yuzu sicker and sicker, and so, when at last they’re gone, Yuzu unlocks her powers, transforms, and  _ screams.  _ She screams as loudly as she can, from deep within her soul.

It  _ hurts. _

Every single breath, every single tear, every single moment of her existence burns her like the hottest fire.

She slashes at the trees, cutting them away with her fans. When Yuzu hears them crash and fall, it only makes her more upset, and she tears at the grass, at her body. No matter how much she cuts herself, she never stays injured for too long—no, her body regenerates too fast.

When Yuzu sees her bracelet though, she stills. It’s so cloudy and dark, with the barest glimmer of pink left to it. Yuzu knows what’ll happen with her Soul Gem, and she thinks to herself,  _ Should I end my own misery now? Should I smash it and let my life end? I’d be doing the world a favour, wouldn’t I? I’m not the puella magi anyone wanted. I’m not the friend anyone wanted. I’m not … anyone. _

But the moment Yuzu pinches her Soul Gem, she screams as if she’s been pricked by a million needles. Her hand lets go at once, and she falls back onto her bottom. She writhes in the pain that it’s caused, howling to the sky. No matter how much she lets out her anger and pain, no matter what she does, Yuzu feels it down to her core. 

_ I’m supposed to not feel pain! How come I feel everything? _

Again, Yuzu reaches for her bracelet—and again, she falls back with an unearthly screech. She lifts her back off the ground, howling and kicking. When she opens her eyes though, there’s someone standing above her in the trees—a girl with purple hair tied up a ponytail, and with cold, lifeless eyes.

“Se … rena.” Yuzu coughs, rolling to the side. 

“Yuzu.” Serena leaps down from the trees and lands gracefully on the torn ground. “Stop.”

“Sto—” Yuzu growls in her throat. “Why don’t you?” 

Serena doesn’t take a step further. She stands at Yuzu’s feet, her hands hanging at her sides. To Yuzu’s surprise, she’s wearing her school uniform instead of her puella magi outfit. Has she not come to fight then?

“You have no power to spare,” Serena says. “You need to hunt dragons to regain your energy, and you need to stop wasting your powers like this.” A pause. “Get up. Now.”

Yuzu hisses as she rolls to the side. Her limbs feel like jelly, and she only makes it onto her hands and knees before her stomach rolls and she coughs violently. She couldn’t have broken any bones or harmed her internal organs, but it feels like she’s ripped apart every muscle in her body. She lifts her head and peers at Serena. 

“What …?”

Something lands with a plop in front of Yuzu, right between her hands—a Grief Seed.

“Use it.”

Yuzu pushes it away with her finger, back towards Serena. The last thing Yuzu needs is charity from the coldest puella magi in the dimensions.

Serena’s foot lands on her hand before she can push it away. “Take it,” she says again. “Your Soul Gem should be at its limit.”

“Don’t … want it,” Yuzu says through her teeth. She wriggles her hand under Serena’s foot, clenching her teeth together. “Get off … me.”

Serena steps down harder. “You’ve got a free hand—take the Grief Seed.”

Yuzu shakes her head back and forth. 

Though Yuzu can’t see Serena, she hears a note of worry in her tone: “Why?”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Yuzu says. She coughs roughly towards the ground, and then continues: “That’s … not mine.”

This time when Serena steps down on her hand, Yuzu feels it crunch the bones in her hand. 

“This isn’t the time to be suspicious. Take it right now, Yuzu, or you’ll regret it.” Serena pauses; Yuzu hears her suck in a deep breath. “Take it right now or you’ll die.”

Yuzu bends her head down. “… fine with me.”

Serena lets out the breath.

Yuzu lets out her breath too, and she bows lower to the ground, nearly pressing her face into the shoe on her hand. “I may have never told you directly, but I hate people like you. And Rin. I never wanted to be a puella magi like you guys. I never thought I’d become like you, using people to get your rewards, abandoning your friends for your own sake. I’m disgusted people like you exist in this dimension. But I’m also incapable of being … my own kind of puella magi. I’ve failed that too. I’ve failed killing dragons, I’ve failed saving my friends, I’ve failed every single step of the way. The world doesn’t need a puella magi like me.” 

Yuzu lifts her head so that she can see Serena’s face. 

Serena looks … impassive.

“The world doesn’t need people like me,” Yuzu says.

Serena huffs. “Feel sorry for yourself, Yuzu, but I only want to help you. I’m speaking clearly to you and telling the truth—”

Yuzu tilts her head back, hears her neck crack. “You’re a filthy liar, Serena.”

She gets the reaction she wants: Serena’s eyes widen to the size of the moon.

Yuzu’s face splits in a slow smile. “Your eyes tell me you’ve given up, Serena. You gave up a long time ago, didn’t you—on puella magi, on dragons, on hope. Even your words are empty, meant to make me feels some kind of false joy and hope. You’re just like another girl I know—you don’t want to help me. You don’t care about me or who I am or what I’ve done. You’re thinking about someone else, aren’t you?”

Serena’s lips quiver for a moment, and it brings a brighter smile to Yuzu’s face. But then Serena’s smile grows too, splitting her face like a mask, and she chuckles under her breath.

“You’re right, Yuzu—I don’t care a damn about you and your existence. You’re a second-rate puella magi who won’t make a single difference in this gods-forsaken dimension. I don’t want to help you one bit. But you’re Kurosaki Ruri’s friend, and I won’t let her beat herself up over your predetermined death.”

Yuzu laughs, a hollow sound deep in her throat.

“You really … don’t care about me.” She swallows a sob.

“Not even for a second,” Serena says.

“Then … is Ruri really the only one who matters?” Yuzu sniffs, eyes brimming with tears. “Is she really all that m-matters in this world?”

The foot on her hand crunches Yuzu’s bones again. She whimpers loudly, and the tears begin to drip from her eyes. She keeps her head raised though, staring deep in Serena’s verdant eyes. They’re like vines wrapped around Yuzu’s neck.

“If you don’t take that Grief Seed, you will certainly die.” Serena presses her hand into the ground. “If you continue to make Ruri sad, I will you kill you right here and now, Yuzu. If you care so little about your own life, why don’t I just end it for—”

The rest of Serena’s words don’t make it out. Someone comes flying around the corner, grabbing Serena under the arms and yanking her back. Surprised by the action, Serena tumbles back. With her hand free, Yuzu tugs it back to her chest. She blinks her eyes to focus them, and there, behind Serena, is Rin, faced ripped in rage.

“Run, Yuzu!” she screams as she throws Serena down to the ground, one hand fisted in her ponytail.

Yuzu stumbles back, her legs weak and unsteady. Why—why is Rin here of all people? And why is she helping Yuzu of all people?

“Fucking  _ run,  _ Yuzu!” Rin screams again. “Run—I’ll deal with this—just  _ go!” _

Yuzu nods hurriedly, and gathers herself up on her unsteady legs. She stumbles on the patchy, torn grass, and for a second she feels like her soul might slip outside of her bracelet. But then she runs, as fast and as far as she can, out of the forest, onto the road. She tries to get away from everything, but all at once the entire world grates on her nerves—the noise, the movement, the colours, the lights.

_ Everything hurts,  _ Yuzu thinks. And it does. No matter where she looks, no matter where she runs, everything is out to get her and hurt her. And when it doesn’t try to hurt her, Yuzu wants to hurt  _ it.  _ She wants to burn the world, cause an accident, make someone else feel the pain she’s feeling. She wishes the people at the crosswalk could shut up with their blabbering, and the train station attendants could stop their blabbering too.

Yuzu doesn’t even realise it when she steps onto a train. All she notices is that, for once today, it’s quiet. Peaceful. The train car is modestly decorated, and though it’s the afternoon and it  _ should  _ be busy, it’s eerily quiet on this train.

That is, until two guys get on the train. They must be high schoolers because of their uniform, and they talk so loudly that it bounces off the metal walls and glass windows. 

Yuzu falls down into her seat, holding her head in her hands. She had peace for literally  _ one second  _ before those idiots showed up and made a whole ruckus. Train etiquette is to not talk anyways, so they’re already breaking the most important rule. And they’re disturbing her damn peace.

_ Please,  _ Yuzu thinks,  _ fucking shut up. _

Only they don’t, and when she holds her head in her hands, it seems to make it so that she can hear them—them, talking; them,  _ complaining. _

And Yuzu hears it.

“My girlfriend is a fucking idiot.”

Something snaps in Yuzu and she lifts her head, slowly.

The guy continues.

“My girlfriend spends all her time studying, never wants to leave the house, never wants to do anything fun. Sometimes I want to ask her,  _ What’s the point in dating? What’s the point in being together when you don’t want to do anything?  _ And I bet you she won’t have a single answer for me. And yet she says she loves me and wants to be with me forever? As if that’ll keep me around? As if that proves some kind of love? She’s clingy and whiny and pathetic, and the only reason I’m thinking of sticking around is ‘cause she’s got parents with deep pockets.”

Yuzu plants her feet down on the ground and steps forward. Her heart has been shattered, her conscience broken—and these fuckers are around too.

“Hey.” She stomps a foot. “Tell me more.”

The guy raises an eyebrow. “You in middle school or something?”

Yuzu clenches her fists. “Tell me about your girlfriend.” She bites her lip. “Can you really tell me so many bad things about her … or is the bad person you? I bet that girl is a good student. I bet she studies hard. I bet she has a lot on her plate and sometimes has to prioritise responsibilities. But I bet what she needs is a supportive boyfriend and not a  _ fucking loser like you.” _

The guy growls. “Fucking kid …”

“I am—but I damn well have some  _ respect  _ still left in me to know that you’re talking trash about someone who I bet hasn’t done a single thing to hurt you.”

Yuzu flicks out her wrist. Still in her puella magi outfit, her fans materialise in her hands. Yuzu holds one out, flicking it up and down. There isn’t a single fleck of blood or dirt on it, as if she’s never sullied her hands.

“Hey, tell me,” Yuzu says, pressing her fan into the man’s throat. “Is this dimension really worth protecting? Are  _ you  _ really worth protecting?”

The man throws his other hand forward, and quick as a flash Yuzu slices the appendage clean off. The man howls in pain, but Yuzu doesn’t pull her other hand back. She presses him further into the edge of his seat. The friend next to him screams and jumps, and when he tries to stand, Yuzu slams her fan into the man’s neck.

“Are either of you really worth saving? Why would I fight for trash like you? Why am I fighting? Who am I fighting for?”

She sees herself in the men’s eyes.

“Tell me.”

Over the blood roaring in her eyes and the thrumming of her heart, Yuzu doesn't hear a single word. She presses her fans further into the men’s necks.

“Tell me.”

_ You can’t. _

_ You can’t tell me. _

She cuts their heads clean off. She thought blood might fly everywhere, but to her surprise it dribbles and drools from the wounds. The bodies slump back, now lifeless. Yuzu doesn’t flinch when she sees them drop, nor does she vomit when she sees the blood on her beautiful fans. The only pain she feels is within her heart, a terrible ripping like her soul is breaking free of its prison.

Out of the corner of her eye, Yuzu sees her Soul Gem grow as black as the night.

At the next stop, Yuzu hops off the train. Her body feels heavier than it has ever been, and to her dismay her fans and puella magi outfit disappear, leaving her in her plain old school uniform. Yuzu barely registers it though as she drops herself down in one of the hard, plastic seats. She watches the train disappear into the tunnel with a sad sound.

“Pathetic,” Yuzu whispers to the night. “This world … is pathetic. This world … isn’t worth saving.”


	27. Twenty-Seven

Ruri feels like she’s been running for days. All day at school she’d been looking for Yuzu, asking students and faculty alike if they’d seen her. Then, after classes, Ruri ran around the entire city looking for Yuzu. She checked all of Yuzu’s favourite shops and resting places. Ruri even went searching in the alleyways in case Yuzu was hunting dragons or familiars. However, she didn’t find a single trace of her.

Eventually, Ruri’s legs feel too tired to continue, and she flops down onto a park bench and buries her head in her hands. Yuzu’s painful words still ring in her eyes. And Ruri … she just feels guilty. She feels guilty about everything she does because she can’t make a contract. She doesn’t have a wish or a will, and she’s too scared to even fight a familiar. She’d be no help to the puella magi army.

Softly, Ruri begins to cry into her hands. She can’t even think of where Yuzu could have run to. A part of Ruri thinks that Yuzu ran far, far away, to a place where no one would be able to find her. But then again Yuzu is a fired-up fighter, and she would have stayed just so she can fight and claim her territory. If anything, Ruri should be searching around town for attacks on the city. 

But Ruri can’t even get up. Her legs hurt, and her chest hurts, and every breath she takes catches in her abused throat. Her eyes hurt from crying so much these past few days—no, weeks—and all in all, Ruri wishes she could just close her eyes and never wake up. No doubt Yuzu has been feeling the same way, and now—and now she’s run away.

Ruri hears someone step towards her, footsteps light. She doesn’t raise her head, and prays that whatever good Samaritan has come by will read her body language and continue on. Ruri doesn’t want to talk about anything. She doesn’t want to tell a single soul about what’s going on because she’s done trying to explain and understand why there are puella magi in the world and why they fight dragons. 

The footsteps don’t recede though; in fact, they come closer, until Ruri feels a breath on her … ankles?

She raises her head. Zarc has found her, his little face pinched in what Ruri imagines is meant to be concern. But Zarc really truly is one of the last people Ruri wants to see, and so she shoves her head back into her hands.

“Do you hate me, Kurosaki Ruri?”

Ruri lets out a sob.

“Do you blame me for what has happened to Hiiragi Yuzu?”

Ruri swallows. She doesn’t lift her head, but she moves her hands a bit so that she can mumble, “W-what good would hating you do?”

Zarc shrugs.

“If … if I hate you …” Ruri swallows a lump in her throat. “Will that turn Yuzu back to normal?”

“Never,” Zarc says. The word feel like a knife in Ruri’s heart. “That’s impossible and beyond the scope of my powers. I can turn girls into puella magi, but I can’t reverse the magic.” 

“I … see …” Ruri says. She wipes at her eyes and nose with her sleeves, and then pulls herself together so that she sits on the bench, facing forward. Zarc climbs up next to her, bending his toes over the edge of the bench. “Zarc … you asked me to be a puella magi once … in a dream.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Zarc’s green eyes widen. “Did I?”

Ruri nods her head. “I never knew if it was real or not, but I don’t think I could dream something like that.” A cough. “Yuzu told me … that you said I could become an amazing puella magi. I … didn’t believe her, maybe because we were fighting and I didn’t want to believe in myself. But now I wonder if she was telling the truth. Did you … say that?”

As if the world has been plunged in darkness, all Ruri can see are Zarc’s glowing, green eyes. 

“Amazing is an understatement—you’ll become the most powerful puella magi in the history of all the dimensions. If you wished for it, you could even become a god, Ruri. Within you I see endless, limitless power waiting to be unleashed. You’re the most incredible girl I’ve ever met.”

Ruri feels her cheeks blush at the praise, but her stomach keeps on twisting painful knots. No matter how good she could be, it feels … wrong. That was just a dream. A-and—puella magi die. Yuzu was right about one thing: Ruri doesn’t want to die, and she doesn't want anyone else to die either. 

Zarc lifts his head to look up at her. “Miss Kurosaki Ruri, you hold more talent than all the other puella magis combined. If you made a contract, you could have the power to do anything.”

“A … anything?” Ruri’s words come out as a breath of hot air. “That’s impossi—”

“Anything is possible with a wish,” Zarc says. “And with your power, it’ll be the greatest wish anyone could make.”

Her tears still, hanging on her long, dark eyelashes. Ruri blinks several times to clear them. She can do that? She wants to tell Zarc that he might be lying, but never has she seen such a powerful expression on Zarc’s face. Ruri feels ensnared by his looks, and she can’t tug her gaze away.

“I wonder then …” Ruri fumbles the words around in her mouth. “I wonder if I can do what you can’t.”

Zarc smiles, baring his sharp, pearly teeth. “Hm? What might that mean, Kurosaki Ruri?”

Something flickers inside Ruri’s soul. She lets out a breath that she’d hadn’t realised she’d been holding in, and folds her hands over her lap. “Well, if I were to form a contract with you, I could have any wish granted. What if … I wished to turn Yuzu back to normal? What if I wished she were no longer a puella magi?”

When the words are out, Ruri feels a bit guilty. She heard before that you shouldn’t make a wish for someone else, but in Ruri’s mind there’s no one else that she wants to protect more that Yuzu. Right now, Yuzu needs help. Right now, Yuzu needs to get out of her contract. And so, if Ruri can ease that pain and save her, she’ll do anything. Serena once told her too that she should remember those who are precious to her, that she shouldn’t change herself for others.

_ I’ll be me: Kurosaki Ruri, a real friend. _

“Zarc … if I made a contract with you, would I be able to break Yuzu’s contract with you?”

“Of course,” Zarc says, smile gleaming. “Will you trade your soul for that wish, Kurosaki Ruri?”

Ruri takes a great gulp of air and nods her head. Her heart feels a bit lighter, and when looks at the sky full of the stars and the forest full of maples, she no longer feels so sad and upset. For the first time in a while, Ruri feels a bit better about herself. She’s making the right choice. She’s restoring hope. She’s going to save Yuzu.

Turning to Zarc, Ruri bows her head forward. “Zarc, please make me a puella—”

_ Bang! _

Ruri feels something splatter onto her face, and she doesn’t have a chance to close her eyes properly before she sees the bullet holes in Zarc’s face, and then in his neck. The gun keeps firing, and blood flies like spittle all around her, covering the bench, the ground, and Ruri’s uniform. Ruri screams but no sound comes out, and she tumbles back on the bench. With a great heave, she vomits onto the ground, and keeps on heaving over the sound of the gun rapid-firing at Zarc’s bullet-holed corpse.

“Stay away from her.”

Shakily, Ruri lifts her head. Serena stands on the other side of the path, a gun in her hands—nothing fancy, no special powers. Just a silver gun. 

She fires another shot at Zarc; blood flies through the air.

Ruri screams, and this time she does produce sound. She chokes midway though, and her back snaps up as she heaves again. Hot tears drip down her cheeks from the effort. Through all of her vomiting though, she tries to say something, anything—“Se … rena.”

Serena stops shooting, stilling her weapon. She tucks it into the waistband of her pants as if she’s a secret agent and approaches Ruri, kneeling down by her corpse. Something brushes against her lips and nose, and Ruri finds herself surprised to see it’s a handkerchief.

“Come on,” Serena says, pulling her away from the sick. 

Ruri lets herself be tugged away, but she doesn’t take her eyes away from Zarc. He’s in pieces, limbs everywhere, blood on all surfaces.

“You didn’t have to kill him …” Ruri says.

Serena grabs her by the shoulders and gives her a rough shake. Too surprised to resist, Ruri’s head flops back and forth, and she coughs weakly. 

“Don’t you dare pity that bastard,” she says.

“But—”

“Cut it out, now, Ruri!” Serena gives her a shake, and then shoves Ruri forward, pushing her back into a lamppost on the opposite side of the path. They’re the only two people in the park, but Ruri still feels self-conscious and scared, and she tries to wriggle away. Serena’s hands are far stronger though, and when Ruri struggles, Serena pushes her harder against the metal post.

“Don’t you ever say something like that, Ruri—never! Stop humbling yourself, stop thinking of others before yourself. Do you have any fucking idea what you just tried to do?”

Sobbing, Ruri shakes her head. “I just—”

“You can’t save Yuzu, just like you couldn’t save Ray. There isn’t a person in this world you can save, Ruri, so you need to just keep living for yourself. Live on and pretend puella magi don’t exist. Forget about us all—”

Ruri screams down at her feet. “I can’t! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”

Serena slams her back into the pole. “Don’t you think there are people out there that will miss you when you die—because you will not live if you become a puella magi, no matter what anyone else tells you. Don’t you think you should live for as long as you can?”

“T-that doesn’t matter …”

“It fucking does!” Serena lets out a whimper, and she clenches her teeth together. “You want to protect everyone in the world, and I get it, but you can’t. You just can’t, Ruri. What about everyone who’s protected you? Are you going to throw yourself away because you don’t value your own life? Because I can list some people who value you.”

Tears in her eye, Ruri shakes her head. “I’m sorry—”

“Be sorry! Be sad and sorry and guilty for the rest of your life, but don’t even think you don’t matter to someone, Ruri! Don’t even think for a second that you aren’t who we’re fighting for, who we’re willing to protect.”

Ruri lifts her head, sniffling. Serena is a bit taller than her, and since she’s pushed Ruri down, her tears leak onto Ruri’s cheeks. Without the use of her arms, Ruri can’t brush them away. She’s too shocked to want to though. Serena … is crying. Loudly. And so, so many tears leak from her eyes.

“Serena …” Ruri whispers the name on her quivering lips. “Are you one of those people who wants to protect me?”

Ruri sees Serena flinch.

“I had a dream once … where you tried to protect me.” Ruri sniffles again, and though she’s certain her smile is watery and terrible, she lifts her gaze up to Serena. “I wish that dream were real, Serena … because then I would have already met you—”

Serena’s hands slip from Ruri’s shoulders. Serena brings her hands over her mouth, her face paling to the colour of milk. She looks ready to be sick, and tentatively Ruri holds onto Serena’s shoulder in case she tips over. But then the tears begin to run rivers down Serena’s cheeks, and her shoulders quake with stifled sobs. Ruri has never Serena cry so much, but it all seems to come out of her at once.

Something possesses Ruri in that moment—a force, a spirit, a powerful feeling—to hold Serena, and so she does. 

Ruri wraps her arms around Serena. Serena’s face mushes into Ruri’s chest, her tear cheeks blotting Ruri’s school uniform. It feels different from when she’s hugged Ray or Yuzu, both who she felt she knew well. Serena … she feels like someone Ruri has known for all her life. Serena fits in her arms as if she was born to be with Ruri. Butterflies fill Ruri’s belly, and her heart feels as light as a feather—

And then Ruri herself breaks it away, just as she’s comfortable. She doesn't mean to push Serena away, but when she steps back, Serena crumbles to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Ruri says, fighting back fresh tears. “I’m so, so sorry, Serena … but I need to go save Yuzu. She’s my friend too, and she really needs me … and she might need you too. But I can’t leave her, not when I’ve said those horrible things to her. I need to fight too, and—and—” Ruri snaps her mouth open and closed.

“I’m … sorry,” she says once more. 

Then she turns and runs back down the parkway path. She doesn’t look back to see if Serena is following her, or if she’s left her sobbing on the pavement. Ruri’s heartstrings tug … but no matter who Zarc is, or what’s going on, Ruri will never let her friends be alone. 

* * *

It takes Serena what feels like hours to pick herself up off the pavement and wipe the tears leaking from her eyes. She feels dirty, like her soul has been tainted even though she can see her purple gem glowing in the corner of her eye. When Serena looks ahead to the lit path leading out of the park, her heartstrings clench. 

Ruri … left her.

Serena clenches her hands, fingernails digging into her rough palms. She saved Ruri, but just when she thought she had a chance, just when she thought she might have broken through to her, Ruri dashed off after Yuzu. And of course, when Serena confronted Yuzu, that apparently didn’t fix her—no, naturally Rin had to show up and interfere with that plan too.

It feels fruitless. It feels hopeless. When Serena looks down the path, she feels like the darkness is closing around her.

The darkness is behind her though, in the shape of a little black dragon with glowing, marble-shaped eyes. Zarc has re-materialised … somehow. Serena has never figured out how it works, but the bits and remains of the previous Zarc are in the new Zarc’s mouth, specifically the eye. Zarc rolls the bloody eye back and forth on his tongue, baring his teeth.

“Have you given up yet, Saotome Serena?”

“Fuck you,” Serena says. She pushes herself up onto her feet, her legs quivering from the effort. She feels like she could topple right back down to the ground, and she steadies herself on the lamppost, clinging to the last remains of light.

“You never learn, do you?” Zarc chuckles and swallows the eyeball whole. He licks his lips with a sharp, pink tongue, and cleans his toes too. From what Serena can see, Zarc has been wading through the blood from the corpse. “This is the second time you’ve killed me too, and you haven’t seemed to figure out that I just come back.”

Leaping through the sky, Zarc’s wings flap to hold him aloft.  _ I am everywhere at once, Serena. I can be in your thoughts, in your vision; in your dreams and nightmares. You will never escape from me. You received that curse when you made a contract with me. _

Serena brings a hand to her head. She’s lost Zarc’s body in the engulfing darkness, but she can hear him as if he’s whispering in her ear. She never liked dragons all that much, or predators. 

Zarc drops down in front of her. “I know how your magic works though. I know what your attack is, and what you have been doing. You’re a time-traveler, aren’t you?”

Serena shrugs.

“You’re not from this timeline … or frankly, from any of the other timelines.” Zarc flutters back up, but instead of disappearing into the growing fog, he floats right at Serena’s eye level. Serena wants to spit in his face, but instead she purses her lips tightly.

“Do you remember those timelines?” Serena says. “To my knowledge, you forget it all. You can try to remember, but your memory’s weaker than mine.” She leans forward, pressing her nose to Zarc’s. The dragon’s breath is hot against her cheeks and lips. “I remember everything. I know exactly who you are and what you plan to do. I’m one step ahead of you at all times, and you’ll do good to remember that.”

Zarc blinks, long and slow, at her. “Are you now?” He chuckles. “I see. So that’s why you’re trying so hard to interfere, spending all your energy and strength trying to stop me from seeing Kurosaki Ruri. You must know the hidden potential she has. And you think it’s a good idea to change her fate? You want to stop her from becoming a puella magi even though the Dimension Dragon will come to this city?”

“Yes.”

This time Zarc can’t just chuckle—not, he guffaws, floating back with a hearty laugh. “Have you heard yourself, Serena? Where is the sense in that? Why doom the city for the sake of one girl?”

Serena snaps her hand through the air, grabbing Zarc by the tail. She startles him, and so before he has a chance to fly away Serena latches her hand around his neck, squeezing so tightly that she wishes she could hear bones snap. Zarc just stares at her though with a horrid, splitting smile. His teeth are bloody, and when Serena looks at his eyes, she thinks about the eyeball that was just in his mouth.

“You will never make a contract with Ruri so long as I am fighting and breathing.”

“Is that so?” Zarc says.

* * *

_ Where, where can you be? _

Rin charges through the alleys, watching her shadow chase and cling to her ankles. She thinks she's lost her own shadow at times, plunging herself into darkness. It makes her want to scream and cry, but—

But Yuzu needs her. Yuzu is out there somewhere, lost and afraid and scared. Rin remembers having her Soul Gem grow black before and nearly birthing a Grief Seed. She had been so, so upset and afraid, and she only survived by sheer luck of finding a dragon to kill. Rin doesn't think Yuzu will be so lucky though. She thinks she might get trapped ... or worse.

The streets grow gloomier and foggier; soon, it even becomes too thick to see through. Rin feels sticky tears in her eyelashes, and she brushes them away with her shaking fingers. She can hardly see or breathe, and eventually she finds herself stumbling down the road.

Where would Yuzu run to? Where could she have gone?

Rin is in the city, not far from Yuzu's house. There aren't many people out either, so it's not like she's hiding in a thick crowd either.

Far, far away ... It sticks out in Rin's mind. When she felt terrible and guilty, she used to run and hide too. She used to lock herself in the garage, or run to the deepest parts of the forest—places where no one would ever, ever find her. Would Yuzu look for the same thing? How different are she and Yuzu ... really?

Rin heads towards the train station, barreling through the doors. She doesn't bother to pay for her ticket, leaping over the bars and dashing down the hallway. She hears someone shout at her, but she keeps running, blood pounding in her ears. The harsh artificial lighting blinds her until she runs straight into the heart of the train station where at least a dozen trains and railcars are stationed—large, metallic bullets, with concrete pathways leading to and from them.

Despite the large number of people present, it's oddly quiet though. When Rin looks from side to side, she doesn't see anyone or anything ...

Except Yuzu. She sits on the bench, head bowed. Her clothing is ragged and dirty, as if she rolled and tumbled down the largest hill in the world. She doesn't look like she's been moving for a while.

Rin's face breaks out in a large, cheery grin.

"Yuzu!"

Yuzu doesn't even lift her head.

Rin charges forward, too surprised and happy to care that Yuzu hasn't looked up. Rin feels relief blossom in her chest. Sure, Yuzu looks like she's been dragged from hell and back, but she's all right—she's alive! Rin nearly hugs her when she approaches, but when she takes in Yuzu's stiff posture, she stops herself.

"I found you," Rin says.

Yuzu doesn't say a word.

Flopping down into the bench seat next to Yuzu, Rin kicks out her legs. She tries to play it casual, although her belly has begun to hurt. What's happened to Yuzu?

"You really scared the shit out of us all," Rin says, setting her hands behind her head. "Don't worry, I'm not going to make you anwer or anything. I was ... the least worried about you anyway. But you shouldn't dash off like that."

Curiously, Rin glances at Yuzu's wrist. Yuzu has her hands over her wrists though, shielding her Soul Gem from view. A twinge of worry festers in Rin's heart. How sick is Yuzu? How much longer until she snaps? Zarc had come to them rather worried, after all.

"Yuzu ... don't run off like that next time. You really had us worried."

"Worried?" Yuzu echoes. Her voice sounds like rusty cogs scratching against each other; it's quiet too, as if she's about to lose her voice entirely. "... sorry for wasting your time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rin says, folding her arms in front of her chest. Her eyes keep focusing on the hidden bracelet—what's going on with Yuzu? Rin wants to reach over and snatch her hands away to see how badly it's gone, but she also knows that'll just agitate Yuzu further.

Yuzu laughs, though to Rin it sounds more like a cough. "Sorry ... for wasting your time," she repeats. Then she lifts her head, just enough that Rin can see the deep bags under her eyes, the haunted expression she wears. "I just don't care about anything anymore."

Rin nearly leaps from her seat. She feels something prickle across her skin, and she moves away. "Yuzu, what—what do you—"

"I'm sorry," Yuzu says again, lifting her head up higher. She looks horrible, as if she hasn't slept or eaten in days. She looks sickly and weak and sad, and Rin feels her stomach drop. This ... has been going on for a while, hasn't it? This isn't the first time Yuzu has felt so terribly, but instead, this is the consequence of days and days and days of depression.

"At the end of the day," Yuzu continues, "I don't know who or what I care about. I don't know why I'm fighting, or who I'm fighting for. What's my reason, my purpose? Why did I ever make this contract in the first place?" She coughs, pulling her hands up to her chest, still covering her thin wrists. "There's nothing and no one I care about, not anymore."

Yuzu tilts her head so far back that Rin expects her neck to crack. She holds her head up to the ceiling, and tears leak down the juts and curves of her cheeks.

"Remember when you told me that there can never be hope without despair. You said something about them cancelling each other out; where there is hope, despair follows ... or something like that. I didn't believe you back then ... but I was wrong. I get what you were trying to say."

Rin shakes her head. "I was just being pessimistic—"

"You were right," Yuzu says, cutting off Rin's words. "I did save a few people, and I made some people smile; but at the end of the day, what did I truly gain? When my—my oldest friend left me for another duel school and partner, I wanted to take my wish back. I wanted ... to hurt him. I wished I'd never made that wish on him before, never ever ever—

"Hate and jealousy ... I felt so, so sick with myself. I even hurt my best friend ... someone who would never ever say such terrible things to me. I hurt her with my words, with my actions. How can I move on from that?"

"You .. you're taking things a little too seriously," Rin says, forcing a laugh. "Yuzu, trust me, you're just feeling sad—"

"Am I?" Yuzu lets out a sob, scrunching her eyes closed. "Or do my friends just make excuses for my failures? No one looks up to me anyway. I'm not worth anything in this world." She tilts her head back down, bringing her shoulders together. To Rin, it looks like Yuzu is trying to fold herself up into the dimensions and never return.

"When you wish for someone's happiness, someone else has to be cursed to balance it out. Ain't that right, Rin? You know that firsthand. So ..." Yuzu sniffles, her eyes so red and puffy that it makes Rin's heartstrings snap. "That's what I've learnt about being a puella magi. I really can't make anyone happy. I really can't save a single person."

Yuzu lets her hands drop to her lap. On her wrist, the Soul Gem burns a toxic, inky black.

Rin sucks in a breath. "No—"

Through all the tears, Yuzu finds it in herself to smile. "I'm sorry, Rin. I really am an idiot."

The Soul Gem erupts.


	28. Twenty-Eight

When Rin next opens her eyes, she can see the thick tar over hers and Yuzu's bodies. They've trapped themselves in some kind of toxic wasteland. Rin yanks her head up, coughing roughly as she feels some of the tar in her lungs. She tugs her arms free, groaning from the effort. Then she rushes to Yuzu's side. The tar has gone over her face and into her mouth, but Yuzu doesn't even seen to register when Rin grabs her head and pulls her up.

"Let go!" Rin screams. She gets Yuzu's head free from the mess though, and then she begins to pull her arms and legs out. Yuzu's body is cold and limp, and the dead weight nearly sends Rin tumbling back into the thicket.

Once Rin gets Yuzu's torso free though, she realises what's gone wrong.

_ I can't get to her _ , she thinks.  _ I'm stuck here too unless ... unless we can both get free. _

Throwing her head back, Rin screams up at the sky. "Someone fucking help us!"

She doesn't hear a single word.

The tar moves though, snaking up her chest and pulling her shoulders down. Rin screams, twisting and turning.

Still holding onto Yuzu, Rin unlocks her magic and transforms. She feels her weapon in her hands, and she jabs it down into the tar and clings to it with her dear life. Rin knows it won't save her, but if she can hold on for a bit longer, maybe ...

_ I don't even know what's happening though. _

Over Rin's head, she sees a thick, pink maelstrom, like bubblegum in a mixer. She sees familiars moving too, and she begins to worry that perhaps she and Yuzu have dropped into a barrier. The last place Rin remember being is back at the train station, and there weren't any dragons out. But there was Yuzu's bracelet, and it was blacker than night.

Rin hears something move overhead and she cranes her head up. There, dripping from the ceiling, she sees what can only be a dragon. Once the dragon could have been a beautiful woman, but her limp hair hangs over her eyes and her skin has grown so tight across her features. She wears a regal red dress dripping with blood, and across her skin Rin sees blood too. Rin nearly vomits at the sight.

And yet, the dragon feels familiar too, like a creature from her nightmares perhaps, or from a scary ghost storybook.

Someone else clings to the ceiling though, and then drops down, hovering just above the tar.

"Here, give me your hand."

Serena stretches her arm out. Dressed as a puella magi, her red dress stands out like a slash of blood in the night. Rin pulls a face and wraps her arms more tightly around Yuzu.

"Give me your hand," Serena grounds out, "or else you'll die down here."

"What—"

Serena doesn't give her another chance to answer. Her hands latches onto Rin's upper arm and she heaves both Rin and Yuzu out of the tar. In the blink of an eye, Rin finds herself free. She opens her mouth to ask what just happened, but then the world seems to stumble, the colours disappear, and—

The world ... has stopped. The dragon over their heads appears frozen, and the tar no longer swirls at their feet. Rin gapes at the ground.

"What did you just—"

"Hold onto my hand and don't let go," Serena says.

"Why? What just—"

"Listen—"

"No, you l-listen!" Rin tugs back on Serena's hand, and she sees a flicker of fear across Serena's face. "You saw back there—a dragon! There was a dragon, and—and where are we—"

They jump up into the air. Rin feels her breath leave her lungs, and her other arms holds Yuzu up against her chest. All throughout the ordeal, Yuzu hasn't moved or breathed. Her head lolls against Rin's shoulder.

"What happened to Yuzu?" Rin asks, voice thick.

"You saw that dragon back there?" Serena pulls her higher up into the air, towards a slit in the barrier that flaps back and forth. "That is Hiiragi Yuzu."

Rin chokes on her breath. "No, no—Yuzu is ..." But Rin doesn't know ... does she? She has Yuzu's body in her arms, but there's no Soul Gem on Yuzu's wrist, nor any pulse or heartbeat in her body. Zarc told them that their souls were encased in their bracelets, so ...

Rin's eyes pool with tears. "I'm holding ... an empty body?"

"You can let it go, if you want," Serena says.

Rin buries her cheek into Yuzu's chest. She shakes her head back and forth, and doesn't raise her head as Serena pulls her out of the barrier and back into the subway. Rin feels the change in air and pressure, and once she's out of the barrier she tumbles to the ground. She cradles Yuzu's body, bearing the brunt of the fall.

"Yu—"

It's Ruri. Rin knows that voice, filled with such sorrow. It cracks over just a single syllable. Rin can't bring herself to lift her head from Yuzu's unmoving chest. She doesn't care if she's holding an empty body. Yuzu must still be inside—Zarc must be wrong.

Rin feels hands on her shoulders, not pulling her back, but coming round her. Ruri falls to her side, sobbing so loudly that Rin doesn't hear Serena's heels clip-clop on the pavement. Ruri can't even form words, too choked up. She tries though, stumbling out whats and whys as if anyone might have a clue what is going on.

Wait ...

Rin throws up her head, finding Serena standing just to side, arms crossed. She looks the least upset by what's happened, and that only makes Rin more suspicious.

"Hey." The word catches in Rin's throat. "Hey."

Serena meets her eyes, expression so deadly Rin feels a shiver run down her spine.

"Where's Yuzu's Soul Gem?"

Next to Rin, Ruri suddenly reaches out for Yuzu's wrist. Sure enough, the Soul Gem and the bracelet are missing.

"Why ..." Ruri begins before dissolving into another round of sobs.

"Answer me," Rin says. "I know you know something about that, and you better fucking spill it."

Folding her arms across her chest, Serena shrugs her shoulders. "It's not common knowledge, I'll admit ... but after a Soul Gem turns into a Grief Seed, it births a dragon. After all, dragons are simply creatures made from Grief Seeds ... so it make sense then that, when a puella magi dies, their tainted Soul Gem becomes—"

"It fucking doesn't!" Rin slams her hand down on the pavement. "That—that doesn't make sense at all. What, are you saying that puella magi just become dragons when they die? Like that's the circle of fucking life or something?"

"You saw for yourself what happened to Hiiragi Yuzu." Serena tilts her head towards the corpse on the ground. "There's no soul in that body, no Soul Gem on her wrist, and inside that barrier you saw Hiiragi Yuzu's dragon."

"Her  _ what?" _ Rin doesn't stop the surprise from popping into her tone. "You're a fucking liar, Serena!"

"I'm telling the truth: when Soul Gems become tainted and turn black, they turn into Grief Seeds. And then we, as puella magi, are reborn as dragons. It very much is the circle of life of a puella magi."

Rin stumbles to her feet, fists clenched. "You're a filthy liar." She steps forward, ready to put a dent in Serena's face.

But then Ruri screams, so loudly it shocks Rin and Serena both. "How ... how could you tell us this now? How could you keep that a secret?" She holds onto one of Yuzu's limp hands, and she holds it to her chest. "How ... how? Yuzu was fighting against dragons, protecting the dimensional cities and all the good people in it, so how can it be that when she dies she becomes what she's fighting against?"

"That is the curse of being a puella magi—"

"That's wrong!" Ruri coughs and hacks, and tears stream down her porcelain cheeks. "How can girls make wishes that they know will cost them their lives? How can anyone fight knowing they'll eventually end up as a dragon?"

Serena sighs. "She made a wish, and now must pay the consequences. Hiiragi Yuzu will now live a life cursing as many people as she has saved. Where there is hope, despair follows—"

"Fuck that!" Rin storms forward, grabbing Serena by the shoulders. Serena swings herself around though, easing out of Rin's grip and slamming her fist into Rin's skull. Pain blossoms around her temple, and she sees stars in her eyes for a moment. But this time Rin feels her blood boil, and instead of backing off she charges forward once more, aiming for Serena's neck. The moment she feels flesh on her fingertips, she squeezes. She pushes Serena down to the ground, slamming her head back on the concrete. The sound echoes all through the deserted, empty train station.

"Who do you think you are? If you knew all that, how come none of us knew? How come you've been hoarding that information like some kind of dragon?"

Serena doesn't move. She coughs for air, but she doesn't pull away, staring straight into Rin's eyes.

"How can you talk like that, like you didn't just see another girl die? Because that's the truth, ain't it. Yuzu ... Yuzu's dead, and she is never, ever coming back, is she? We'll never see her again."

Serena rolls her head to the side, looking past Rin and towards Ruri. Rin follows her gaze too. Ruri still sits beside Yuzu, holding the dead hand up to her heaving chest. Ruri looks as bad as Yuzu had before she died—pink-eyed, teary-faced; as if she hasn't slept or eaten in days; as if she's been beaten up and down, black and blue, and lost any motivation to live on.

"Do you see now?" Serena says, voice croaky yet firm. "Do you see, Kurosaki Ruri, the reality of us puella magi? Did you really wish for this? Is this ever something you could truly want?"

Ruri falls onto Yuzu's body, sobbing.

Rin swallows thickly. She never got to know Ruri that well, but if she can take a guess ... Ruri wanted to be a puella magi too. 

Sighing, Rin lets go of Serena's neck. Serena coughs lightly, but appears unfazed. She moves past Rin and towards Ruri, kneeling down by Yuzu's corpse.

"Normally, puella magi bodies don't leave the barrier they died in, but I figured you wouldn't have left it behind. Rin"—she looks over her shoulder—"you need to dispose of this body carefully. Make sure no one ever finds it. It'll cause trouble if a soulless body is found on the streets."

Rin growls low in her throat. "How dare you—"

"I didn't think you'd leave it behind anyways ..." Serena toes the corpse, held in Ruri's quaking arms. "I could have knocked it out of your grip—"

"Cut it out!" Rin's hands fly to her hair, tugging at the short strands. Her hair is caked with blood and tar, she realises, and she retches loudly. "How can you say something like that? Are you—are you even fucking human?"

"Of course not," Serena says. "But then again, neither are you." 

She gives Yuzu's body one more look, and then, without another word, heads out of the train station. Rin watches her go, thinking that she should put her pole through the back of Serena's head for good measure. What stops her is the realisation that, had Serena not shown up in the barrier, Rin would have died. She would have been killed by the dragon born from Yuzu's Grief Seed.

I hate you, Rin wants to say, but her throat has closed up too tightly. She wipes at her eyes and nose, holding back sobs. I hate you, and I ... hate me too.

* * *

Rin ... told her she would take care of Yuzu's body. Ruri hadn't wanted to let go of it, too worried that if she took her eyes away from Yuzu for even a second that she'd disappear from her memory. It was worse than when Ray died because Ruri didn't know Ray as well, and because Ray's body never came back from the barrier. Yet with Yuzu she was there, in the flesh, in Ruri's shaking arms. Ruri could feel Yuzu's papery skin every time she squeezed her.

And yet Yuzu was dead. It was undeniable. She would never open her eyes again, never breathe or sing or dance.

Ruri has never felt so numb in her life. She walks home from the train station, stumbling every time her mind conjures an image of Yuzu. Every step she takes should hurt, but unlike the previous times where she felt all the pain all at once … this time she feels nothing. Her throat must be dry from crying, her cheeks and eyes so puffy that she can hardly see out of them. Forget all the other times she's felt sick or ill or sad—Ruri can't even live with herself like this. How ... how can she? How can she feel nothing when Yuzu is dead?

Ruri tumbles forward. She hasn't eaten since yesterday, too upset when she went home after the fight with Yuzu—the fight that felt like ages ago too. 

When Ruri gets home, so late at night that she knows Shun must already be asleep, she heads straight to her bedroom and flops facefirst down on her bed. She keeps her face in the covers, focusing on only the fuzzy blacks and greys in her eyes, keeping her mind centred on the feel of her body—

Yuzu's body.

"You're really beating yourself up over this, aren't you?"

_ It's in my imagination. _

"No I'm not, but—" 

_ I can be in your mind too, Kurosaki Ruri. _

Ruri snaps her head up. Nose-to-nose with her is Zarc, the little dragon staring right at her. Ruri has never felt her stomach twist in so many knots before, and under her stomach she clenches a hand into a fist. If she had the strength in her weary soul, she'd hit Zarc—just once, right across his nose, for even thinking to make a contract with young girls. How could he do that? He must have known the consequences, right? And still he lured girls into becoming puella magi to make their juvenile dreams come true?

Ruri rolls to the side, turning her back to Zarc. She yanks a pillow from the top of her bed and hugs it to her chest. She buries her face in the pillow too, wishing she would never see Zarc again.

Zarc crawls around the side of the bed, coming to sit in front of her. Ruri can feel the mattress dip a bit from his weight, but she doesn't raise her head.

"I have something to talk to you about, Ruri."

"I thought ... you died too," she mutters.

"Well ... I have a habit of coming back."

Sniffling, Ruri lifts her head up, just enough so that she can see Zarc's sharp, black toenails. "Zarc," she whispers, "did you make contracts with those girls ... with my friends ... so that you could turn them all into dragons too?"

Zarc laughs, more of a breath of air than anything. "You could say that," he says. "But I think you're getting the wrong idea by just saying that, so why don't you hear me out. I bear no grudge against humanity, or even you girls. You are all lovely people, and I wish you could all lead bright, fulfilling futures with wishes that come true. But ..." Zarc creeps closer, toes picking at the sheets. "Certain unavoidable circumstances brought about this result."

Ruri swallows. "Circumstances?"

"My goal ... my wish, you could say, is to extend the dimensions' lifespan."

"Hm?" Ruri lifts her head a bit more, now focusing on the shiny scales of Zarc's chest.

"That's right—it's my job too. Say, Ruri, do you know what the word 'entropy' means?"

Ruri shakes her head. She can’t even think clearly, and this isn’t the sort of mind-boggling conversation she wants to have after everything that’s just happened.

"It's a scientific law that states that energy creation and consumption is unequal. For example, the energy it takes to grow food does not equal the amount of energy you get when you consume it. There's energy lost along the way. This goes for all types of energy ... In fact, when energy changes form, it always loses some of its power. So the energy in the world is always diminishing and can never, ever be replenished."

Zarc smiles at her. “Do you know what that means, Kurosaki Ruri?”

Ruri shakes her head once. Now isn’t the time to think of this.

"The world will die." 

The realisation doesn't shock her as much as it should. To Ruri, what reason is there to live in this universe anymore? What reason is there to wake up in the morning and go to school? Who is she living for? Why is she living?

Zarc shifts his paws, rubbing them together as if he's got a special secret. "The world will only die if it continues using energy bound by the law of thermodynamics; in essence, the energy that exists today. That is why we looked for energy outside of those laws, not bound by human resources."

"We?"

Zarc doesn't elaborate. Now that Ruri's lifted her head even further, she can see that Zarc's entire body is glowing green in the spaces between his inky scales. Ruri tries to tear her eyes away, but she finds she can't.

"We discovered the magical energy of puella magi. Our civilisation developed the technology to convert the emotions of intelligent life forms into puella magi. However, my people don't have emotions; we're smart, but not emotive. You see, puella magi can be anything and anyone, but it takes a special kind of person to be a good puella magi. Are you following, Ruri?"

Ruri isn’t. Her eyes droop closed. Zarc’s words are fuzzy in her mind.

"You see, human puella magi are the strongest warriors in the world—fiercely protective with so many strong emotions running through them. The emotional energy produced by a single human exceeds the amount of energy expended during its development. Therefore, the existence of humans counteracts entropy. I don't know if I've said it before, but you humans are the most incredible species I've ever come across."

The compliment only makes Ruri's skin itch.

"But humans carry with them different emotions at different stages of their lives. in fact, their emotional capacities change over time; and of course, that's not even considering the intelligence of humans at various stages of their lives. There's no perfect window of time to become a puella magi, but what we've found is that girls in their second growing period—what you might call adolescence—and who transition between hope and despair are the most effective sources of energy.

“... sure,” Ruri says, when she realises that Zarc has grown quiet. She hopes it’ll quieten him, but instead Zarc continues to chatter away as if this is a typical conversation. He hasn’t even apologised for not telling her this earlier, back when it would have mattered more.

"I think you understand now." Zarc's smile grows across his reptilian face. "When a puella magi dies, her Soul Gem becomes a Grief Seed, releasing a tremendous amount of energy. The job of us Entertainers, us wishers of emotions, is to collect that energy. Remember, this is all to save the dimensions. Without the sacrifices of puella magi, the dimensions would be dead."

Her hands tighten on the pillow. Though her soul is so weak and weary, nearly slipping from her body, a seed of anger builds in her gut. "So we're just disposable to you?" she hisses. "So ... so my friends were supposed to die all along ... for your sake?"

"For the sake of humanity," Zarc says. "It's not just about us, though we do like the performance ..."

"How greedy ..." Ruri swallows a pit in her throat. "How could you ...."

"Eventually, humans will live alongside us. Think of it like a long-term partnership. Your dimensions can't live without the energy of puella magi. In the long run, this will benefit humanity too."

"Don't ... don't say something so stupid."

Ruri has her head up now, and through her puffy, wet eyes, she can see Zarc smiling as if nothing could ever be wrong.

Ruri screams. She doesn't care if Shun hears her at all.

"My friends died for your people—for your stupid energy? Their wishes were all lies then, weren't they? You never wanted them to be happy, never cared a single bit about their well-being. Miss Ray and Yuzu died! They died, Zarc, all for what? Energy? For some greater cause we knew nothing about? We—we never agreed to this!"

"But you made a contract,” Zarc says, "and you got a wish. Surely you see the truth—"

Ruri lashes her arm out, knocking Zarc off the bed. He flutters in midair, unbothered, with the same, unnerving smile. Ruri throws her pillow at him, screaming, "All I see are lies! I bet you not a single puella magi agreed to this knowing they would die. You made those contracts without our consent! You tricked us!"

Settling down on the bed, Zarc folds his tail over his toes. "We don't understand what 'trick' means though. For some reason, you humans seem to think it's our fault when you misunderstand. You could have asked what it meant to be a puella magi. You could have asked what would happen to your bodies if you died. You could have asked what the bracelet was, where your soul went—any of those questions that have unnerved you so. And you never did. For some reason, when humans regret a bad decision they made based on a misunderstanding, they begin to detest the other person.

"There's another thing we don't understand, too. Humans value things differently than us. We value the bigger picture, the larger number; humans get caught up in specifics and individuals. While humans have a large population in the billions, and your population—as opposed to your energy production and consumption—is steadily rising, you still get upset when a single one of you dies. Why should that one person matter than the billions more that are benefitting—"

"Stop."

Zarc grins. "Tell me, Kurosaki Ruri, do you value the life of your friends over the existence of humanity? Do a few people really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things?"

"Stop it."

Ruri sees flashes of green in her eyes; Zarc has come closer, nearly nose to nose with her again. Ruri doesn't lash out—it won't do anything anyways.

"If you truly think that way, Miss Ruri, then you are our enemy. If you think you can save a few humans, it appears you haven't even grasped the basic principles of being a puella magi. Where there is hope, despair follows. You will never save everyone."

He leaps away from the bed and up to the window. The window has been opened too, and Ruri sees Zarc run his toenails over the metal.

"I'm not going to try and drill that into your head if you won't even listen, but I will tell you this." Zarc looks over his shoulder; never before has Ruri seen such an intense, drilling stare. "Kurosaki Ruri, one day you will become both the strongest puella magi and the evilest dragon. You will never escape that fate, not as long as you live. And at the time of your transformation, we will obtain an amount of energy greater than we've ever seen before.

"I've seen the hope disappear from your eyes more times this month than all the other years of your life combined. You have no reason to live anymore, right? Who will remember you? Who will protect you? Will you fight for the friends who have sacrificed themselves for your well-being? If you ever feel like dying for the sake of the dimensions, just let me know. I look forward to making your contract."

Ruri doesn't see Zarc leave the room. She can barely lift her head off her pillow, or pull the covers over her face. She lays on the bed, clutching the pillow as its her lifeline, and drifts off into an uneasy, nightmarish sleep.


	29. Twenty-Nine

Rin doesn't know where to go, where she can go, with a dead body. After Ruri left, Rin was left alone with Yuzu's corpse. It had been hard to convince Ruri that she would be all right with the body, that she would find a safe place for it. Ruri had believed her though, and left with her eyes so puffy that Rin thought she wouldn’t be able to see where she was going.

Now, Rin pulls Yuzu’s body through the forest. The dead weight makes it hard to hold Yuzu; even though her soul is gone, the body still manages to weigh a ton. Rin alternates from dragging Yuzu to trying to carry her across her shoulders like a fireman. Every time she drops Yuzu, every time she has to pick her back up again … every single time Rin looks at Yuzu, her heart aches a bit more.

They travel through the thick forest, up a dusty dirt path. The familiar ferns and flowers tickle Rin’s ankles; hanging leaves brush against her tear-stained cheeks. When she makes it to the top of the hill, she sees the garage with its great, wooden doors, locked up tight since the last time she visited. It brings another sob to Rin’s throat. There used to be a dead body inside the garage too, before Rin buried Yuugo behind the shop.

Sniffling, Rin pulls Yuzu into the garage. There aren’t any soft areas to lay her on, so Rin spreads out an old sheet on top of the tables, and lays Yuzu down as if she’s just having a midday snooze. Surprisingly, Yuzu looks untouched. There are no bags under her eyes, no marks up and down her body. It truly does look like she just fell into a deep sleep.

Carefully, Rin checks Yuzu’s wrists and neck for any sign of her Soul Gem. She searches Yuzu’s pockets for anything that might tell her about what happened to Yuzu before her Soul Gem broke. Did she get in a fight? How much did she overexert herself to have her soul become so tainted it erupted? Rin has always known that Soul Gems become tainted from using puella magi powers, but she’s never heard of anyone dying from taint.

“What are you doing there?”

Rin spins around with a gasp. On the table stands Zarc, his black wings spread out on either side of him.

“Get the fuck out,” Rin hisses. She reaches behind her for one of the tools on the table—a screwdriver. Rin has never felt more afraid of the dragon before. He knew about Yuzu; Rin knows it. Just like Serena, Zarc knew something too. Rin promises herself that if Zarc tries to touch her or Yuzu, she’ll drive the screwdriver into his neck.

“What are you doing with that corpse there?” Zarc says, tilting his head towards Yuzu.

“Get the fuck out,” Rin repeats. “Now.”

“You can’t save her—that’s not even your friend anymore—”

“I don’t care!” Rin drives the screwdriver into the table, hissing her breath out between her teeth. “I don’t … I don’t care at all. That doesn’t matter. That …” She swallows thickly, her gaze turning back to Yuzu’s corpse. If only she had her Soul Gem, she’d be fine. 

Zarc takes a step closer.

Rin’s shoulders stiffen, but she doesn’t take the weapon out of the table and point it at Zarc.

“Tell me … Zarc”—she spits his name out like bile in her mouth—“is there a way to get her Soul Gem back?”

Zarc shakes his head. “Nope … or at least, not that I know of.”

Her eyebrow raises up into her bangs. “Not that you know of? You saying there’s shit you don’t know?”

“Of course.”

“Fucking great,” Rin mutters. She shoves the screwdriver deeper into the table, cursing under her breath. “What good are you if you don’t even know what you’re doing? What good could you possibly be doing when you don’t even know everything in the first place?”

Zarc shrugs his shoulders, taking another step towards her. “I don’t need to have all the answers to know how I can help the dimensions survive. Besides, puella magi already defy the laws of logic; it makes sense that I don’t have the answers. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if puella magi can make anything possible.”

“Re … really?”

“Of course—you puella magi are granted wishes, after all.”

Rin raises her head. Something about Zarc’s words send a chill down her spine. Perhaps it's because the concept of wishes reminds her of her own wish, and the not-too-distant wish Hiiragi Yuzu made. 

Zarc crouches down next to Yuzu, not touching her, but coming close enough that Rin pulls the screwdriver out and clutches it in her fist. Zarc pays her no heed though, continuing to watch Yuzu’s immobile corpse like she’s a fascinating specimen. It makes Rin’s skin crawl all over again, and she wonders if there’s something Zarc can see that she can’t.

“You wouldn’t be able to do it alone though … save Hiiragi Yuzu, that is. I suggest enlisting the help of Kurosaki Ruri—”

“No,” Rin growls out.

“No?” Zarc cocks his head to the side. “Surely you can agree that Kurosaki Ruri is—”

“Yeah, yeah, she was Yuzu’s best friend—but I don’t want your advice, Zarc.” Brandishing the weapon, Rin points the tip of the screwdriver between Zarc’s green eyes. “I don’t want to hear a single word from your mouth.”

Zarc grins at her. "If that is your wish, Miss Rin—"

"Don't fucking call me that." Rin stomps her foot, and then turns her back to face Yuzu's body. It looks like she's under a magic sleeping spell, but when Rin puts her hand to Yuzu's pale cheek, she feels an intense, sorrowful coldness against her fingertips. Shivering, Rin heads back through the shed, looking for a snack for herself. She's stored non-perishable goods in here from times where she's fallen so deep into a depression that she hasn't left this garage for a week. Sure enough, she finds a package of stale crackers.

When Rin looks back, Zarc hasn't moved.

"Well?" Rin says, mouth full of stale crumbs. "Fuck off now."

Zarc keeps smiling, expression growing even more haunted in the dimly lit garage. "You might have a chance, you know, at saving Yuzu. Choose carefully, but don't underestimate the potential you girls have ..." Zarc chuckles. "But at the same time, always remember that where there is hope, despair follows. If you bring Yuzu back, who's to say someone else won't die? Who's to say Hiiragi Yuzu will live forever?"

And without another word, Zarc disappears from thin air—no poof, not even a crackle of magical energy in the air; one minute, Rin can see him, and the next minute all she feels is the prickling anxiety on the back of her neck and the painful jab in her gut that reminds her that, if she ever makes a wish for someone else, it'll ultimately end in failure.

With a sniffle and a muted sob, Rin drags herself back to the table, falling headfirst into the wooden surface. She lands inches away from Yuzu's corpse. Carefully, as if she were handling china, Rin takes hold of Yuzu's hand; and, just like Ruri did, brings the hand up to her own body. Rin holds Yuzu's hand to her chest, thinking back to the last time she was held by someone, the last time anyone touched her with any affection. For so long she's been by herself, fighting for herself, and never without anyone to hug or kiss or talk to.

Another sob builds in her throat. Rin squeezes her eyes closed, tears leaking between her puffy lids. She prays she falls asleep and never wakes up.

 

In the morning though, she has to. Rin wakes up feeling Yuzu's sallow skin. Rin knows a bit about decomposing bodies from some science textbooks she read back when she went to school, and though Yuzu's body looks nowhere close to decomposition, it looks ... weaker. Broken. Serena, damn her, said bodies weren't supposed to leave the barrier. There's no way Rin would have left Yuzu behind, but then to know that the body couldn't survive ... that Yuzu would never be OK ...

Rin feels the hand on her cheek, and her eyes fill with fresh tears. She holds them back this time though, and instead of crying through the day like she might have done when Yuugo committed suicide, she stands, brushes herself down, and then heads out of the garage and back down the dirt pathway. Her clothes stick uncomfortably to her limbs and her soul threatens to fall out of her body ... only it can't because Rin can clearly see her Soul Gem, a painful reminder of her wish.

If she could, Rin would smash her own Soul Gem into a million pieces so she would never have to spend another day as a puella magi. She's tried to break her Soul Gem, but it's the worst pain she's ever experienced. And if she just threw her soul away, she'd be wandering for days until at last her Soul Gem turned into a Grief Seed and birthed a dragon.

_ I'm stuck like this then, _ Rin thinks,  _ but I still have a chance to save Yuzu. There's still something I can do. _

When she gets into the city centre, Rin wanders up and down the streets. It's early in the morning, so students meander around town and head to and from the train station, dressed up in prim skirts and pants and blouses. Rin hasn't worn a school uniform in so long; she and Yuugo never made it past fourth grade. Rin has always wondered what she might look like in a school uniform—pants, never a skirt, but maybe a blouse too. A blouse and a tie, of course.

While she admires the school uniforms, Rin looks for one that resembles Yuzu and Ruri's. Rin hasn't been in this town for long, and so she's unfamiliar with the city and the school. But sure enough Rin spots the beautiful uniform of Maiami Academy, and she follows the student all the way down the cobblestone path. When she gets to the school gates, wrought iron bars that remind Rin of a prison, she veers away from the main path.

Maiami Academy, to Rin's surprise, looks like a normal school. It's large, definitely a private school for middle-class students, but neither boasts nor tarnishes its reputation. In fact, it looks far too typical—windows, walls, gardens, pool. Nothing sticks out to Rin.

_ Boring, _ she thinks to herself.

Rin suspects that Ruri will come to school today out of obligation of being a good student, but it seems too late to stop her before she goes through the gates, so she kills time by waiting in the trees. When it's lunch time though and students head back outdoors, Rin scrambles the rest of the way up the tree and leaps through the air. She doesn't have to transform, just needs a bit of magic to propel her through the blue skies and on top of the school building.

There are a few students who have come up to the roof to eat their lunches. They see Rin and raise an eyebrow, but no one asks her what she's doing or who she's meeting. Rin makes sure to fix them with hard glares in case they change their minds.

Fortunately, Ruri is also atop the roof, her knees tucked up to her chest, and her head bowed. She looks as small as a toddler, and her long, purple hair hangs limply around her shoulders. Her uniform is a tad crinkled too, perhaps from last night's scuffles. Rin approaches Ruri slowly, but when the sound of her footsteps don't raise her head, Rin clears her throat loudly.

"Hey."

Ruri lifts her head slowly. She's been crying, fresh tears on top of last night's tears. She looks like she hasn't slept at all.

"Hello," Ruri says, her voice cracking on the single syllable.

Rin shoves her hands into her pockets, bouncing from foot to foot. She had an idea in her mind—a script of what to say—but now she's blanked on it. Ruri's pained expressions makes Rin think that she's endangering Ruri by asking for her help. Ruri is just a girl, not a puella magi or anyone special. But ... but she's Yuzu's friend too. If Rin has any chance of saving Yuzu's soul, she'll need something more than magical powers.

"Hey," Rin tries again. "Listen, I know you probably don't want to talk about her, and I get it, and I don't want to too—but I want to save her."

"Yu ... zu?" Ruri swallows. "I thought Serena said ..."

"Frankly, I don't care what Serena said, or Zarc for that matter. I don't care about either of them and whatever secrets they've been hiding." Rin pauses, waiting for Ruri to cut her off, but she's fallen silent, her chin balanced on the bony tops of her knees “See, I think those two are spouting bullshit and have some other priorities. But I don't want to give up on Yuzu knowing that I believed those two assholes. So ... so ..."

Rin clenches her hands in fists. "So Ruri, I need your help. That bastard Zarc actually had a good idea for once."

"My help?" Ruri raises a shaky hand, pointing at herself. "But Rin ... I can't fight ..."

"I'm not asking you to make a contract—screw whatever those bastards say. No ... no one is making wishes for other people, not on my watch. But listen to me, even if you think I'm as much of an idiot as I'm sure Yuzu has said about me: Yuzu's soul is in that Grief Seed. Who cares if she turned into a fucking dragon? We've all got darkness in us—so doesn't that mean, if we find Yuzu, that she might still be in there? That she might still remember us?"

Rin takes a step forward and crouches down in front of Ruri. "You're her closest friend, and I'm ... someone. But I think, if we go to her barrier and find her, and call out to her, she'll remember who she truly is. She'll turn back into a puella magi. After all, despair and hope are two sides of the same coin, or maybe a continuum or some shit. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that, if Soul Gems can turn into Grief Seeds, then I think it's highly likely that Grief Seeds can turn back into Soul Gems."

A pause. "You follow?"

"I ..." Ruri swallows. "I ... do."

Rin nods. "Here's the plan I have, all right. We kill the dragon to get the Soul Gem—Yuzu must still be in there. Then we get the Soul Gem, and we ... we hope like we're in a fantasy storybook that Yuzu revives. I know it sounds half-assed, but it's the best thing we can try at this point. Don't storybooks always say that love and courage and hope prevail at the end of the day?"

To Rin's surprise, Ruri does more than painfully echo Rin's worse. Ruri smiles and nods, and a bit of colour returns to her cheeks, as if simply thinking about saving her friend can pull her away from the deep end.

Rin feels colour on her cheeks too, and she turns her head to the side. "I used to read those silly fairytales when I was a kid ... I loved happy endings, even if they don't always happen like they're supposed to. I know it's not the best solution we have, but I'm glad ... I can do this with you."

Ruri's smile widens. "Thank you, Rin."

The softness of Ruri's words startles her, and Rin backpedals, nearly toppling to her bottom. "Hey, don't thank me yet! And—and I can't protect you down there, all right? I can't guarantee your safety in the barrier."

If anything, Ruri's smile grows larger, beaming, and Rin wants to bow her head in shame for ever thinking that Ruri could be some pathetic tag-along.

"I'll do anything to save Yuzu." Ruri lifts her head up, just enough so that she can bring her hand out and hold it out to Rin. "I think you might already know my name ... but I'm Kurosaki Ruri. Ruri, if you'd like. And I'll help you, um ..."

"Rin. Izayoi Rin."

"Miss Rin then."

Rin's cheeks grow hotter than the sun. "Just Rin, all right—don't tag any fluff onto the end." Brushing her hands through her hair, Rin lets out a single laugh. "I thought you would hate me or something. After all, I bet you that I was the one who pushed Yuzu over the edge ... fought her ... nearly killed her too—"

Ruri's hand reaches out to touch Rin's knee.

"I think ... Yuzu forgave you for that. Besides"—Ruri sniffles into her other hand—"I did some terrible, selfish things too. But I think Yuzu would forgive both of us, and she'd want us to bring her back even if we've done wrong."

"Good." Rin pushes herself back up, bouncing back and forth on her heels. "I'll come pick you up after school, all right? We'll defeat the dragon tonight and save Yuzu." A pause. "Got it?"

Ruri takes her hand again. Rin hates to admit it, but it's the first time someone alive has touched her since Yuugo's suicide. Ruri doesn't feel like Yuugo—her hands are smaller and softer, and she has nice, painted nails. But Ruri feels like someone Rin might like to get to know, after all this is over and Yuzu has been saved.

"I'll see you after school, Rin."

Ruri lets go of her hand and heads back towards the doorway leading into the school. She peeks over her shoulder, a small smile on her lips.

Rin smiles back for her, and it feels like the first genuine smile in a while.


	30. Thirty

Ruri's stomach has so many knots in it that she feels like she has two ulcers by the end of the day. She spends half of the day in the nurse's office, and the other half of the day watching the clock with bated breath. While Rin's words had first intimidated her, now Ruri feels like she could charge into battle and rip Yuzu from hell's terrible claws. Ruri knows it'll be much harder than that, but if she's going with Rin—a seasoned puella magi—then it shouldn't be any different than the times Serena has come to her rescue.

After class, Ruri rushes out the door to change into her shoes. She runs out the school doors and through the wrought-iron gates—the first one out of the school, she imagines. When she's on the cobblestone path leading into the forest, she slows down her pace and begins to look for Rin. Rin had said she'd be waiting for her, so ...

"Yo."

Ruri spins around, her heart shooting up into her throat. She relaxes when she sees Rin though, hands in her pockets. She has a fierce expression that would make any predator quake in its boots.

"You ready?" Rin asks her.

Ruri nods, even though her stomach twinges painfully and her eyes burn. There isn't much she can do until they find Yuzu, but ... but Ruri is determined to do whatever she can.

Together, they head down the cobblestone path and towards Yuzu's house. Ruri has never kept track of where dragons appear, but she supposes that wherever a puella magi has died would be a likely place for a dragon to live. Yuzu's street doesn't look like the alleyways she and Yuzu explored though. The street is well-lit, not a single shadow in sight. It looks far too normal.

Ruri doesn't dare ask Rin if this is the right place, but as Rin wanders around, she mutters, "Don't doubt me, all right—I know the dragon is around here—"

Rin spins on her heel with a sharp  _ a-ha! _ Sure enough, behind the bench Ruri remembers sitting on not that long ago, is ... something. Barriers never feel like tangible spaces, but Ruri sees it too—a gap of sorts in reality where the dragon might be lurking.

Quickly, Rin holds her arm out and her bracelet grows a bright, popping green. Ruri tears her eyes away from the barrier long enough to see the beauty of Rin's transformation—or at least, the results of it. One second there's a bright light, and the next Rin is garbed in a sporty outfit perfect for flipping and running. She has her metal pole too, and she jabs it right into the centre of the barrier.

"You ready?" she says again.

Ruri doesn't feel as confident when she nods, but she doesn't get a chance to do anything else. The barrier opens up like a great mouth ready to swallow them, and the entire world grows black. Then, as if someone has turned the lights on, the scene erupts in colours—pinks and whites, primarily, dancing through the sky like an obscene candy land. There are music notes in the air too, pulsing to a faint beat. There's someone making music further down the path. She can’t keep track of all the colours and sounds and details bouncing around her; her head spins just trying to focus on one of the twirling, patterned walls.

Rin swings her pole from hand to hand, chuckling. "I don't have a single doubt in the world that this is Yuzu's barrier." She swallows. "I guess that means all puella magi, when they die and become dragons, also have barriers ... I wonder what mine looks like."

"I hope you never get to see it," Ruri whispers to her.

Rin is right though: this has to be Yuzu's barrier. It's so bright and colorful, pastels and vibrant hues all blending together in the sky overhead. The path Rin and Ruri walk upon looks like piano keys, and every so often when they step on a note, a gentle thrum vibrates through the barrier. In the air, little music notes flutter by—familiars, though they don't seem to care if humans or puella magi are wandering around.

Rin begins to head down the piano-note path, but Ruri lingers for a second, staring at the tear in reality that they came through.

"Rin ... do you think Serena might come to help? Should we have asked her too?"

Rin laughs aloud. "That bitch wouldn't help us unless it benefited her in some way. You heard her talk about Yuzu. She thought we should give up on her."

"I guess ..." Ruri doesn't follow Rin though. "But doesn't this concern her too? Isn't she our ..."

Rin turns around this time, balancing her pole atop her broad, muscled shoulders. "Our what? Our friend? I seriously doubt that; I'd even put my money on it. I've only been around her, and not killing her, because we have a common interest. If not, I wouldn't even be here at all."

"A common interest?" Ruri echoes.

Rin shrugs her shoulders. "There's this thing coming to Maiami City called a Dimensional Dragon. It's like a super dragon, like the strongest dragon in all existence and a puella magi's greatest enemy. I've never seen one before, but I know a bit about them to know that its arrival can bring about the apocalypse. I didn't know about it until Serena told me, and though both of us are strong, we can't take it down by ourselves. So we teamed up to save the dimensions or some shit, and that's it. No friendship. No partnerships after this. We're just killing the Dimensional Dragon."

"And ... you'll win?"

"I hope so ... it'll fucking suck if we don't."

Ruri shivers. Her mind has been focused so much on Yuzu, on keeping her alive—and all this time Serena and Rin have been thinking about the end of the dimensions? It sounds like the sort of problem Zarc might think about—the bigger problem, he might say. And if Yuzu was alive, would she be fighting the Dimensional Dragon too? It doesn't sound like a war of sorts ... but Yuzu would team up with another to save the dimensions.

With Rin now a solid ten feet ahead of her, Ruri hurries forward to catch up. Her feet stomp on the piano-key road that leads through Yuzu's barrier. It feels strange to think of this as Yuzu's space, though Ruri supposes that if she were to ever try to summarise Yuzu's soul and existence, it would look like this. It would have music, and entertainment, and bright colours. Yet this space still puts seeds of worry in Ruri's aching stomach.

"Don't worry," Rin says, almost as an afterthought to the previous conversation, "Serena and I will kick ass and save you puny humans."

"Thanks ..." Ruri sighs, and the sound doesn't go unnoticed by Rin; she tips her head over her shoulder, orange eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"Rin ... am I coward—"

"Ruri, seriously—"

"Am—am I a coward for always having people fight for me?" She rushes the words out in one breath, and then adds, "While I—while I do nothing to help them? While I do nothing to thank anyone who's ever helped me?"

Rin doesn't bat an eye. "You throwing yourself a pity party back there?" A hollow laugh. "Because it sounds a awful lot like you're thinking you should make a contract and become a puella magi, and I really hope the events of last night have proved to you what a fucking mistake that is."

Ruri flinches. "Still though ..."

Rin spins around so fast that Ruri doesn't feel the hand on her shoulder tugging her forward by the fabric of her jacket. “Listen up, Ruri. I like you, and I think you are a pretty cool gal, but you have got some  _ fucked up morals,  _ let me tell you. Being a puella magi isn't a joke, and though you might not think so, hear me out: telling me that, after everything you have seen, you still want to make a contract, is by far the  _ stupidest  _ thing I have ever heard. Ever. 

“People don’t just make contracts for the hell of it, all right? We were coerced into it, had no other choice in our lives. And I know you think you’re in a rut and a bad place, but trust me, you aren’t. I’ve seen who you are outside of this hellish life, all right—you’ve got friends, a school, a brother. You have a nice life—not always a perfect life, and I might not know everything, but … don’t think you’ve lost all reasons for living.”

Ruri topples foward into a bow. “I’m sorry for offending—”

“You’re not offending me, damn it, so stand up. Just … no one becomes a puella magi for the hell of it. Zarc doesn't look for girls like that. He … I don’t know, I think he’s a sick bastard preying on the hopelessly hopeful. But if I met a girl who said she became a puella magi because she thought it looked fun, I might just slit her throat then and there so she doesn’t experience what I’ve gone through.”

Bringing her hands up to her throat, Ruri stifles a soft gasp. “I’m sorry, Rin, truly, I didn’t mean it like that, and I haven’t even—”

“Don’t mention it—just don’t make a stupid choice.” She turns around and begins to walk forward, twirling her pole like a baton. “But hey, one day you might find yourself caught between a rock and a hard place, with literally no way out. There might come a time where you have to put your life on the line and fight. That … that’s the only time you should ever become a puella magi, all right?”

“All right,” Ruri says with a nod, and she keeps nodding, like that might confirm over and over again what she shall and shan't do. 

“Don’t ruin your life too early, all right?”

“All right,” Ruri repeats.

They make it to the end of the piano-track road. Before them lies a door made of obsidian. When Ruri touches her hand to it, she shivers. Beyond this door, she can feel Yuzu’s soul. She knows Yuzu is here and is waiting for them.

_ I’ll save you,  _ Ruri thinks.  _ I won’t leave you. _

Rin roundhouse kicks the door open. The door swings open with an ear-splitting screech, but it quickly becomes deafened out by the  _ roar  _ of a foul-looking creature. It looks a bit like the duel monsters in Yuzu’s deck, only a horrid amalgamation of several of them. Ruri remembers Yuzu’s deck being full of beautiful elves with musical instruments. But these creatures, deformed and reformed into a beastly mob of faces and limbs, looks like how none of them should be. It frightens Ruri that she  _ can  _ recognise Yuzu’s monsters within the mob. The dragon’s skin is inky and spotted, and torn away in places; its face is marred with deep bags under its hollow eyes. When it plays a sound, it sounds like all the wrong notes to a choir that never took a single music lesson.

There are no familiars in the room though, to Ruri’s surprise. The dragon is all alone, its body halfway sunk into the chipped ground. The piano tracks have given way to a disco-ball floor, and when Rin steps forward, tiles on the ground light up in pastel pinks. 

Then the dragon lunges. It screams at them, shooting out arms made of trombones, its great wings beating on the ground. The dragon can’t pull itself from the ground, but it has a far greater reach than Ruri expected. She tumbles back towards the door, only—

It’s not there. She’s trapped in here.

“Rin, watch out!” Ruri screams as the dragon—as  _ Yuzu— _ rakes her claws against the wall, tearing at the barrier. Pieces of the wall come away like flimsy wallpaper, disintegrating into puffs of sparkles.

Ruri feels her heart slam in her chest. The last time she was in a dragon’s barrier, it was with Ray. This scene feels all too familiar: the dragon attacking the puella magi, the dragon  _ trapping  _ the puella magi, the dragon—

Rin parries to the side, flying through the air, jumping, never leaving room for the dragon to attack her. Rin’s fighting style is vastly different from Ray’s. She has close-combat attacks using her pole, but if anything Rin seems more experienced in combat. She dodges the dragon’s lunges, stabbing it in the face and chest. Inky, black tar seeps from the wounds.

“Ruri!” Rin lands on the edge of the wall, clinging to an instrument jutting out from the wallpaper. “Do it now—call out to Yuzu!”

Anxiety fills her throat. Ruri stands, frozen, before the great dragon. Can … can that really be Yuzu in there? Would she be able to hear her? All around her, all Ruri can hear is the clash and clang of Rin’s pole connecting with the dragon’s body.

She clenches her hands in fists, willing herself to face the dragon—no,  _ her friend— _ head on.

“Yuzu!” she screeches. “Yuzu, it’s me, it’s Ruri!”

The dragon lashes out at Rin, stripping away another section of the wall.

Ruri flinches. “No Yuzu, pay attention to me! It’s me, your friend! Remember—remember my voice, my words! You must remember who I am, so  _ listen!” _

The dragon scrapes its nails against the ground. Then it turns its head, looking right at Ruri with hundreds of different colours of eyes, all belonging to the duel monsters smushed together to form its grotesque body—and lunges once more, its trombone-hand snaking out to suck her up. Ruri’s throat grows as dry as a desert, but before the dragon can snatch her up, Rin slams her pole down on its wrist and cuts the instrument clean off.

“Don’t give up!” Rin tells her. “Keep calling to her—she  _ has  _ to remember you!” Turning back to the dragon, Rin screams at it, “Yuzu, you idiot, don’t kill your friend! Don’t kill any of us! We’re bringing you back—we’re sorry! You’re never going to be alone anymore, you don’t have to fight us like this. Just  _ listen!” _

Ruri steps forward. “Please, Yuzu—remember us! Remember yourself; you’re my friend, a duelist, a daughter—you have so much, so please, come back to us!”

With a battle cry, Rin dashes forward. She leaps through the air, soaring up to the dragon’s face. “You’re a fucking idiot, Yuzu, and one stubborn, unreasonable girl, but I ain’t leaving this barrier without you!” And with a snarl, Rin plunges her metal pole straight through the dragon’s head, through its neck, and towards its spine. The entire barrier  _ cracks,  _ as if the dragon itself is attached to the barrier.

And then, as if Rin were no more than a fly, the dragon bats her body away, through the air. Rin collides with the barrier wall with an audible crack. The dragon plucks away the pole as if it were a toothpick in its teeth.

“No, no—Rin!” Ruri goes running after her, even though she knows she won’t make it in time.

Before she falls, Rin catches herself, throwing a hand out to hang from the wall. She screams as her body bounces itself back up, and she clutches her shoulder as if she’s torn the muscle. When she sees Ruri, Rin shouts back to her, “Don’t focus on me—tell Yuzu! Tell her!”

Ruri swings herself around, her heart sticking in her throat. This … this isn’t working.

“Yuzu,  _ please!”  _ Ruri falls to her knees, tears leaking from her eyes. “Yuzu, you have to remember us, have to remember me. You would never, ever hurt anyone—you fought for us. And now it’s time for you to stop fighting, to be free, to—to be loved! Yuzu, we love you, and we remember you—so please remember us too!”

Stumbling to her feet, Rin snatches her pole that the dragon tossed away, and once more flies through the air.

“Are you mad at me, Yuzu? Mad at me for what happened? Mad at me for all our fights? Well, guess what—you can fight me later on even ground. You can fight me, hate me, wish I were dead—but you have Ruri here and she cares about you!”

Rin plunges the pole back into the dragon’s chest. She leaves it there, circling around the dragon’s shoulders and up towards what must be its face. As Ruri squints her eyes, she realises that Rin is running a  _ vine  _ along the dragon’s body, coiling it around her neck, sticking thorns all along the dragon’s skin. When Rin gets to the top, she stands on the dragon’s face, balancing on a set of cymbals that must be teeth or lips.

“You can’t forgive anyone, can you? You’re so, so mad at the world, at people, at puella magi, at every fucker who dared put you down. The world ain’t so great of a place. I understand that though—I might not be able to step down in your shoes, but … but I’ve walked a path just like you. I want to know what you’re going through, and you can’t tell me if you’re a dragon. So keep on hating me—keep on fighting me and let all this anger and hate out. And then promise me, when all’s said and done, you’ll wake up. You’ve got friends waiting for you and a life you still have to live, and I ain’t letting you out of this world easily.”

The dragon snarls, slapping a hand to its face, trying to pull Rin away. She jumps into the air to dodge, and hovers momentarily.

“Yuzu … I’m sorry …”

Rin’s body glows, lighting up the entire barrier. From her hand appears another pole, this one longer with a jagged barb at the end—much like a gardening tool, although deadly. Rin wields it, swinging it through the air with ease. Then, brandishing it like a harpoon, she lunges.

“Yuzu, you idiot, you said you believed in hope, that you had the power to make other people happy, that  _ all  _ puella magi had that same power—so damn it, show me that power now—”

The dragon’s arm flies out, a bow appearing in its palm, striking right through Rin, impaling her in her mid-air.

Ruri forgets how the breathe.

Rin hangs, her legs swaying back and forth. 

Blood rushes through Ruri’s ears. She sees black, then white, then pink, then red.

She passes out before she can see anything else.

* * *

Rin can barely focus on the fingers in front of her face, or the pain in her body. Her pain senses are normally dulled, but right now it feels like she’s been cut apart. 

Oh.

Rin’s hand is on her stomach, with the bow of an instrument shoved through her core. There’s blood, but Rin’s hazy eyes can’t see how much, or if it’s dripping. 

Through the tears and pain, Rin can see Yuzu’s dragon though. Yuzu’s dragon … is incredible, a beautiful monster, an amalgamation of power and hate and passion bound together with Yuzu’s dreams and despairs. Rin wonders what her own dragon might look like, and if anyone will ever kill her.

Rin presses a hand to the bow. The fibers are the same material as paper fans, just like Yuzu’s weapon. 

_ You got me, Yuzu … _

With a wretched cough, Rin peeks over the side. She can see her legs dangling, and below that is the floor dusted princessy-pink. And there, on the ground … is Ruri. Not just Ruri, but Serena too, cradling Ruri in her arms. Rin’s eyes meet Serena’s, and through the pain, Rin cracks a smile.

_ Hope … _

Serena flies through the air, holding Ruri under her arm like a sack of potatoes. Serena slices through the bow, and catches Rin before she falls to the ground. Rin heaves and coughs, shards of the bow still stuck in her chest. She’s begun to heal, sure, but not nearly fast enough as her blood has been spilt.

With another cough, Rin glances through her sticky, blood-soaked bangs. “You … should leave. Take Ruri … and get out.”

Serena rolls her eyes. “Already planned on doing that.”

Rin brings a hand to her heart, wincing at the injury. “She came … on her own will.” Rin pulls herself up to her feet. She flicks out her wrist and another metal pole, barbed as well, appears in the palm of her hand. “Don’t fight Yuzu—she’s not your battle … she’s mine. And besides …” Rin peers over her shoulder. “We all have someone worth protecting, someone worth saving. Never forget that.”

Without waiting for a reply, Rin leaps into the air. She hears a whoosh behind her, and when she begins bouncing along the walls, circling the dragon, Rin doesn’t see Serena or Ruri in sight.

_ We all have someone we’re fighting for. We all have someone worth saving. _

Rin spins her weapon along her wrists, poised against the wall, ready to strike.

“Yuzu!”

The dragon lifts its head.

“I’m still here …”

Rin dives, plunging the metal pole through the dragon’s heart. She hears the crack of what can only be a Soul Gem or Grief Seed, and she holds on tight, burying herself in its embrace.

_ I’ll never leave you, never leave this place. It’s lonely being by yourself, ain’t it? So take your time, let it all out. I’ll stay by your side, Yuzu. _

For the first time in centuries, Rin feels someone cup her cheek and pull her close. She leans into the embrace, holding tight to the feeling of being loved and wanted once more.

_ I’ll be with you forever. _


	31. Thirty-One

Serena has never been intimidated by Zarc before. She’s seen this dragon before, a thousand times more and a thousand times again. She has studied every inch of his weaselly face, every mark and blemish. She’s killed him as many times as she can, and still he reappears before her.

This time, Serena doesn’t bother shooting him through the skull. She’s already put Ruri to bed, after taking her away from Hiiragi Yuzu’s dragon barrier. Ruri will be safe at home, and if Zarc is with Serena, that means he’s not preying on Ruri.

Crossing her arms, Serena sits down on a bench. The measly light from the street lamp casts a terrible, unhealthy glow on her face. She holds her hands under her chin, watching Zarc who sits on the pavement like a stray animal that’s been thrown to the curb. Yet his unhinging smile and soulless eyes make Serena want to smush his face in.

“Did Izayoi Rin even have a chance at saving Hiiragi Yuzu?”

Zarc chuckles. “Not the way she tried to.”

“What’s that mean?”

Zarc shrugs his shoulder. “Not a chance in hell then, Miss Serena. She went into the barrier with Ruri thinking that, if she called out Yuzu’s name, that she would somehow reverse the Grief Seed and transform it back into a Soul Gem. Magic doesn’t work that way. And if Rin had come up with any other strategy, let’s say, convincing Kurosaki Ruri to make a contract with me, well …” Zarc’s grin stretches, revealing sharp canines. “You know what would have happened next.”

Serena nearly lunges to strangle Zarc, but she fists in hands in her skirt.

“Why didn’t you stop her then, or do you get off on seeing despair in its primal form?”

Swishing his tail back and forth, Zarc says, “Hope and despair are just two sides of the same coin, and we Entertainers don’t particularly care about which emotion is better or worse. Besides, had circumstances been a bit different, I would have stopped her. She recklessly committed suicide for the sake of bringing back a fellow, albeit useless, puella magi. 

“But you see, Miss Serena, there was greater potential in losing both of them.”

Serena narrows her eyes. 

“I know you and Rin teamed up to defeat the Dimensional Dragon. I saw through that plan of yours. I knew you two might have been able to defeat it—that just this once you might have actually won—and so, now that Rin is dead, you don’t stand a chance.” Zarc steps closer, his eyes closer a sickly, toxic green. “You can’t defeat the Dimensional Dragon alone and you know that –”

Serena twists her hands in her skirt, heart thumping in her chest. “You fucker –”

“Miss Serena, it appears you’ve lost again. Ruri has no choice but to become a puella magi to save this city. She’ll make a contract with me, just like she’s done time and time again. She’ll become the greatest puella magi and the worst dragon—and there isn’t a thing you can do to change this timeline. Looks like you’ve lost again.”

“I will never let that happen,” Serena grounds out.

“Better luck in the next reality, right?” Zarc winks, and then with a flash of green disappears into the thick, night sky. 

* * *

_ A long time ago, there was a girl who made a wish, and a friend who made a wish for her. _

Serena stands at the front of the room, twisting and folding her hands together. Her stomach flip-flops painfully, but she doesn't press her hands to her belly to calm herself down. No, there are far too many pairs of eyes on her—it feels like everyone in the world is looking at her. Her head hurts just trying to count the million pairs of eyes; her ears sting from the click-clack of nails and pencils on the desks.

Before Serena, it feels like an audience judging her every move. All the heads and faces blend together. To her side, Serena can at least make out the gentle features of her teacher. He's a fired-up kind of guy, with red hair jutting up like he stuck his finger in an electrical socket. He has a kind, albeit intense, face, and he thrums his hands on the desk to the beat of her racing heart.

Serena swallows thickly.

"Well," the teacher says, "please introduce yourself."

"Well ... um ..." Serena swallows again. Her throat feels dry and itchy, like she needs to cough. Her eyes hurt from the harsh lighting in the room. The stiff, ironed uniform on her body is itchy too, and she wants to pick at the skirt around her hips and the bow around her neck.

"Go on," the teacher chides.

"S-sorry! Saotome Serena, p-pleased to meet you!" Hurriedly, she bows her head forward. Her hair is tied back on her head, and so when she bows she feels the bump of hair—a down-do, you might call it—against her hot neck. The bow around her neck tumbles forward too. Her thick bangs shadow her eyes too, and when Serena raises her head meekly, peeking through her hair, she expects to see everyone glaring at her.

She can't even see her classmates. All their faces and features blend together like horrid, nightmarish abominations. Her head feels weak, and her knees click-clack together.

"Thank you, Saotome. Everyone, Saotome has been absent due to frequent hospitalisations, so please make her feel welcome in this classroom. If she needs any assistance, or has any questions, I expect all of you to help her to the best of your abilities. Now"—the teacher claps the role book closed—"Serena, please take your seat. We'll start class now."

With another short bow to everyone, Serena carries her backpack over to her desk, in the middle row of the middle of the class, right where everyone can stare at her. Serena feels the eyes on the back of her neck, and she pulls her shoulders up to her ears as she takes her seat. She tries not to make eye contact with everyone, but it becomes hard because she's the centre of attention. There's a nice girl sitting to the side of her with springy, orange hair. There are girls with all colours of hair, believe it or not, and when they all introduce themselves at once, Serena feels her mind begin to spin in circles.

When it's at last lunch time, she lets her head sink down onto her desk, just for a moment, just long enough to get her bearings.

"Hey," someone says, "you have such pretty hair! And do you cut your own bangs—they look so well done!"

"Yeah, yeah," another girl says. "You can tell I cut my own bangs—look at them, they're chopped sideways."

Serena lifts her head, peeking through her bangs. "Well—"

"Hey, where did you used to go to school?" It's a boy who's asking her. "You must have gone to an elementary school, right? Or did you move from elsewhere in the dimensions? I don't think I've ever seen you around town before."

"You see ..." Serena begins, but before she can even get a word out someone else has spoken, and then another person; everyone talks over her, and it grates on Serena's sensitive ears. The hospital was never this loud unless there was an emergency, and her doctors were always careful not to bombard her with too much information. In the classroom though, it feels like everyone has something to say all at once, and no one's bothered to learn about turn-taking.

Through all the noise, Serena can't even begin to keep track of who's talking about what. Her desk has become a central hub of sorts, but she feels like she's the one left out of the conversation.

Then, cutting through the noise, is a small but firm, "Excuse me."

Serena startles, looking for the voice.

"Excuse me, sorry," the voice says again. "I'm the health officer and Saotome has to take her medicine at lunch time."

From around a group of girls steps someone that exudes warmth and radiance. She has long, purple hair, darker than Serena's, nearly black in places, and wrapped in a low bun at the base of her neck. Her hair is fastened with pins and ribbons, and somehow the hairdo is simplistic yet complex. She has on the same uniform, and had Serena not seen her, she might have missed her face in the crowd; but now that Serena sees the girl, she feels a seed of hope in her heart.

The girl beckons Serena forward with her hand. "Please come with me, Saotome, and I'll show you where the infirmary is."

Serena nods her head, a bit caught up in this girl's aura. She stands out among her classmates, like a flower that's grown a little bit taller and brighter than all the rest. Serena follows the girl out the classroom door and down the halway. Though it's break time, there isn't a single student meandering about outside of their classroom.

The girl turns around with a chuckle. "By the way, sorry for my classmates' behaviour—they're ... excited about new students, but I bet their warmth can be a bit overbearing at times. We don't have many new students come to the school, so everyone gets excited by a new, friendly face. I'll make sure though that they don't bug you too much, all right?"

"It's—it's fine," Serena says, stumbling over the words.

"Well, I do want you to have a good time in class. And I want you to make friends and have fun—and I also know that you can't do that unless you feel comfortable, so please let us know how we can help you."

Serena feels like she's met a real-life angel.

"Thank ... you."

"I can tell you're really nervous," the girl continues. "And don't worry, it's not like you need to hide that from me or anything, or even be embarrassed about being nervous. I remember when I came into my first year and I was really, really nervous about my new school. And it's all right if you're nervous because it's all so new for you and so old and boring for us ... but you're what makes this school special because you're new, all right?"

Her cheeks feel as hot as a fire. "A-all ... right."

The girl smiles. "I'll do the best I can to make you feel welcome." Then, as if the thought has just crossed her mind, her mouth turns into a little, round 'o'. "I forgot to tell you my name, didn't I? I'm Kurosaki Ruri, but please just call me Ruri."

_ First names ... already? _ Serena thinks. She hasn't called anyone by their first name in so long. She hasn't been in school in years, and when she was in early elementary school, she never had many close friends. Serena knows though that you don't just call anyone by their first name.

"All right ..."

Ruri claps her hands together. "And so then may I please call you Serena? Would that be all right for you? Or ... or how about Miss Serena since you seem so wise and mature?"

Serena's face burns, and she ducks her head. "I ... I mean ..."

Ruri tilts her head to the side. "Hm?"

"People ... classmates ... don't usually call me by my first name."

"Well, I like to call my friends by their first names, and I want to be your friend ... but would you rather I called you Miss Saotome instead? I don't want to impose or make you uncomfortable."

If anything, this only makes Serena feel more embarrassed for shutting down such a sweet student. "No, no ... it's just ... my name is a bit weird, don't you think?"

"I don't think so," Ruri says, not missing a beat. "I think it's a very pretty name."

Serena shrugs. They've passed down the hallway now and into a stairwell, and the steps down seem to travel into the belly of the world. Serena feels her head spinning as she tries to get her bearing on where she's going, and so she glances at Ruri for some sort of stability.

Ruri smiles and it lights up the entire stairwell. "Your name sounds really wise, doesn't it? Like Serena is a goddess in mythology, isn't she? And so yeah, maybe you aren't a goddess, but you're special in your own way. And maybe, someday"—Ruri's smile widens, and she leans closer as if she's telling a private secret—"you'll become a goddess too."

Serena wheels back, cheeks so, so red, breath caught in her tight throat. "Wh—"

"It's just a suggestion though," Ruri says, leaning back. She sways from side to side, moving like a warm, summer breeze is dancing her through the air. "I think you're already wonderful just the way you are."

At the bottom of the stairwell and through the doors is the infirmary, a small, clean room with cots and cupboards and windows. There are a few paintings on the wall, and a small tree grows in the corner. Ruri gets her to sit down on one of the chairs set up below the window while she gets the medicine from the cupboard and signs it out for her.

"I'm really happy you got better," Ruri says, "because I'll get to spend my second year of school with you."

Serena folds her hands in her lap. Ruri is too sweet and kind, but every praise Serena hears feels like a barb in his itchy throat. "You ... shouldn't get your hopes up about me. I've been away for so long, and I didn't go to school. I didn't study as much as I should have, so I'm probably not very smart. And I can't run or jump or do exercises, so I'm not going be able to take part in gym."

At the counter, Ruri glances over her shoulder. "That's too bad, but I bet the teachers will make accommodations for you."

Serena's shoulders slump. "I don't want everyone to make accommodations and take pity on me. I ... don't even think I should be back at school."

A hand settles in her own, dropping several small, white and blue pills into Serena's hand. Ruri gently closes Serena's fingers over the medicine.

"I think it's very brave of you to come back to school after so long, and I'm so happy you took that chance. I'm happy I got to meet someone as cool and wise as you on your very first day back."

Serena can't find anything else to say, so she pops the pills into her mouth and washes them down with water. Then she and Ruri head back to class. Serena tries to pay attention to Ruri's eternal optimism, but when she's in class, Serena begins to hear other threads of conversation—some nasty, some confusing, and some pitying. The last thing Serena wants is for anyone to coddle her. She's been in the hospital, coddled for years and years—and now she's out of that place, back on her own two feet. Sure, she's weaker and needs assistance, but she doesn't need anyone's pity.

At the end of the day, Serena gathers up her belongings. She keeps her head low so as to not make eye contact with anyone, but when she at last gets ready to head out the door, she runs into Ruri, standing at the edge of the desk. Ruri is already packed up for the day too.

"Serena, which way do you walk home? If you'd like, I can walk you home, or at least part of the way. I have a couple errands to run today too, so I'm sure we'll be heading in the same direction."

Ruri's smile should be infectious, but Serena's heart feels heavy and achy. She shakes her head, murmuring, "I ... just need to be ... alone. Sorry."

Ruri's smile doesn't falter. "That's all right. It's been a busy day for you, and I bet you need some time to relax. I'll see you tomorrow in class though, all right?" Ruri tumbles forward with an exuberant bow. "Have a good day, Serena! See you!"

And without another word she heads out the door, followed by two more girls—the orange-haired girl Serena saw in class, and a pink-haired girl that Serena doesn't remember seeing. Serena watches them go, feeling a bit melancholic at the sight of them; but then she feels a creeping unease through her spine, and she gathers her belongings and heads out the room without another word.

Outside, the sky is murky grey, adding to Serena's low mood. It looks like it could start pouring at any moment; in fact, Serena thinks she might begin to cry if she doesn't keep herself in check. She feels helpless, hopeless; what an awful day. Ruri made it better, but then ... But then does Serena ever deserve that kind of girl? Does she deserve the kindness and genuineness Ruri showed her?

_ You think too much of me,  _ Serena thinks. _ You think I'm someone incredibly brave and strong and smart, but I only went back to school because I had to. I only got better because I had to. I ... didn't even want to get better; I didn’t want to go to school or make friends. Back in that hospital room, I wished a machine malfunctioned and put me in a coma. I wish the doctors make me worse instead of better. _

_ Sometimes, I wish I never existed. Sometimes, I wish I could be erased from everyone's memories because it would probably do more good than harm. _

_ Sometimes, I ask myself, "Wouldn't it just be better if you died?" _

_ And sometimes, I think ... _

Serena blinks her eyes, and she's no longer in Maiami City. She's no longer walking down the sidewalk lined with hedges and flowers, and on the cobblestone path from the school to the city. There aren't students walking nearby either. The sky has transformed from grey-blue to grey-black, and it feels like she's woken up in an old-fashioned movie set. Instead of hedges and flowers, there are tall, towering buildings made of chipped, ashen stone. The ground is dry and barren, and large cracks make it seem like the world could open up and swallow her whole. Serena has never seen this place before, not in her dreams or nightmares.

But then, would she ever seen a place like this in her life? Something seems wrong about this world: the way the sky turns like it’s a projected hologram onto a blank canvas; the way the earth squishes rather than cracks on her feet. There’s no one here, no one to ground her or help her. 

Then colour appears, popping like firecrackers from behind trees. Patchwork patterns snake like shadows across the once-dreary ground. The world keeps moving in ways the world should never move, like it’s alive and breathing an air of wrongness. Her shoulders shake and her heart hammers in her chest. She shouldn’t be here, by herself or with anyone else. But no matter where she looks, the world doesn't look brighter or friendlier. 

"Wh—where am I?" she calls out. She glances from side to side, looking for any sign of a familiar face or landmark. It feels like she's woken up in a nightmare.

She pinches the skin on her wrist. "Wake up," she says to herself. "Wake up."

The nightmarish world remains.

"Wake up," Serena says, twisting her skin. She winces from the pain, but she doesn't let go. The world stays the same though, not even flickering from her view.

A soft gasp bubbles in her throat. "Where ... am I?"

Like a voice in the breeze, a sound rustles by her ears:  _ Wouldn't it just be better if you died? _


	32. Thirty-Two

After about five minutes of being in the place, it becomes clear to Serena that she's not in a dream of any sorts, nor is she going to wake up even if she pinches or hits herself. It appears that she's stuck in wherever she's found herself, and the only way out is ...

Serena is lost there. She hugs herself tightly, wandering through the desolate, grey landscape. Each step she takes makes little plumes of dust around her feet. The wind rustles by her, stirring up even more dust. The sky moves, but when Serena searches for clouds, all she can find are parts of the sky that seem to be stitched together. This universe is unlike anything she's ever seen before, and it makes her wonder where she's truly found herself.

She can rule out a coma—she's fallen ill before, passed out, and fallen into a coma, and it's never looked quite like this before. This world feels too real, and her mind isn't smart enough to conjure up such an intricate place. It feels like she's woken up in a storybook.

Up ahead, Serena sees a leaning arch—two pillars, chipped away in places, and stretched together by a red cord. The path travels through the arches, and as Serena approaches it, she prays that there might be an invisible portal that will take her out of here. Instead, just as she walks under the arch, she hears an unearthly screech.

Whirling around, Serena comes nose-to-nose with something that doesn't even have a nose—a faceless spectre with a glowing body and a red cord around its finger and neck. It leans towards her and shrieks again, Serena shrieks too—she screams so loudly she chokes, and she turns as quickly as she can on her heels and runs through the arches and down the path. The dust kicks behind her, soiling her school socks and shoes, but she doesn't care in the least.

Serena screams again when she sees that, past the arch, there are thousands of the faceless creatures wandering around this land, stumbling, screeching.  _ Where have they come from? _ Serena wonders. When they catch sight of her, they walk towards her like brainless zombies.

"Stop, stop!" Serena says. Her throat hurts, and her breath comes in weak, shallow pants. She's never been an active girl, and with her illness she can't run. The zombies can't run either, but if Serena fell, or if she ran into one by accident – 

"Stop!" Serena says again. She pinches her skin once more, staring at the spectres as if she can will them away.

_ This is a dream, _ she tells herself.  _ This is a dream, not reality, and I am going to wake back up in my hospital room. Maybe today didn't even happen—maybe this is all a dream, and I've fallen ill with a fever and conjured this vision up. Maybe I never got better and went to school, and maybe I never met my teacher and classmates, and maybe ... maybe I never met Ruri _ .

A warcry sounds through the air, starting far away but rapidly coming closer. With a bang, something flies through the air and hits the zombie Serena had just been watching. The creature explodes with a hiss and a scream all at once, and though no blood flies, a cloud of smoke puffs through the dirty air.

Serena glances around, searching for who shot the creature. There in the sky she sees what looks like an actual goddess in pink and blue and white, pigtails billowing around her. She has a gun—no, two guns—that she uses to fire against the creatures. One by one she takes them down, each time hitting their heads.

"Wha ..." Serena begins, her mouth hanging open a little. What even is happening here? Never before has Serena ever been to such a place, or met such people, or read books about any of this!

The goddess lands on the ground in a curtsy, her skirts billowing out around her. She blows the steam off her guns with a coy smile, and then turns to Serena. She has the face of a wise, caring mother—the sort of person you might go to in times of trouble. Her red hair, dyed pink in the underlayers, is pulled up into two ponytail on either side of her head. She's dressed like some kind of queen too, in a red and pink dress with blue trim.

"You all right there?" the woman says.

Serena opens her mouth to answer, but just then another girl lands on the ground. It's ... Ruri. It could be no one else, for Serena knows that warm expression anywhere. Ruri's hair is tied high on her head with a beautiful, yellow ribbon that looks like a sunflower. She wears a beautiful, purple and silver dress with two separate parts in the front and back like the petals of a flower. She wears soft grey socks too, fastened with yellow bows. And in her hands, she holds a bow and arrow like an archer.

"It's going to be all right now, Serena!"

Serena nearly chokes. It ... it is her—it's— "Ru ..."

Between the two girls steps a small, black dragon, its eyes greener than Serena's. The dragon has inky, black scales that suck the meagre light from wherever they are. Its large wings open and close, but instead of flying it steps closer to her.

"They're puella magi," the dragon says. "You've stumbled upon quite the interesting place, Miss Serena. These girls here, they are fighting familiars, or those strange, faceless creatures roaming around here. Puella magi exist to fight one thing though: dragons."

"Dra—"

Ruri steps forward, kneeling down to where Serena has fallen on the ground. She extends a hand and helps Serena back to her feet. "I'm happy you're safe, Serena. And"—she giggles, her cheeks glowing a soft, peachy colour—"it looks like my secret is out. Don't tell anyone else though, all right?"

Throat cinched tight, Serena bounces her head up and down. She can't stop staring at Ruri. It's as if she's met an even more beautiful version of her classmate.

All too soon though Ruri has to go, and she gives Serena's hand a light squeeze before she stands. She leaps through the air and bounces off an invisible barrier. Serena doesn't even see the other girl head out with her, but then the two of them come together with a piercing battle cry. Ruri raises her bow and shoots an arrow straight into the horizon at the same time as the other girl fires both of her pistols. The impact creates such an explosion that it echoes in Serena's ears.

With a wince, Serena tumbles to the ground, hands over her ears, eyes closed. She begins to cough, her breath choked inside her lungs. There's—there's weapons, and war—and it's dangerous, isn't it? She must have fallen into a terrible, terrible place.

Someone touches her shoulder. "Serena, hey Serena," they say.

Serena groans. Her head hurts as if she's spent all day in English class, and when she opens her eyes, she can hardly make out colours much less shapes. Everything seems white and hazy, and for a painful moment Serena remembers that she was once in a place devoid of colour, a dusty, post-apocalyptic world. But then the colours begin to pop in her eyes, and Serena sees purples and pinks and greens.

She blinks her crusty, weak eyes, and hears someone coo her name.

"That's it, Serena—open your eyes nice and slowly, and take your time."

Someone runs their fingers through her hair. Serena stiffens at once, and the hand retreats; instead, someone gently holds onto her fingers. "I'm right here, ready for you to wake up."

Serena blinks her eyes once more, and then—

She can see. She's in someone's lavishly decorated house, lying on several plush blankets and pillows that have been arranged as a cot for her. To Serena's side is a low table, and sitting around it are the two girls Serena saw in the unfamiliar place: the motherly older girl, and her classmate Ruri. Ruri sits closest to her, and she holds Serena's hand.

"Good evening," Ruri says. "When you feel a bit more awake, I'll help you sit up and you can drink some tea."

Serena tries to push herself up at once. She's woken up in another strange place, and while this one looks more welcoming and homely than the post-apocalyptic wasteland she was in before, this still isn't the sort of place she's supposed to be in. She's supposed to be back at home, lying in her own bed, trying to sleep through the rest of her existence—only she can't because she's not anywhere near her home, and might not even on the same planet, and though her classmate is here, maybe she's an alien—

Ruri settles down in front of her, not touching her, but smiling her gentle, warm smile. "Just take it easy. You're at Miss Ray's house."

On the other side of the table, Ray reaches over. She has a delicate, china teacup between her long fingers, and inside Serena sees creamy, black tea. Serena reaches out a shaky hand to take it, but, as if sensing Serena's uneasiness, Ruri steps in and holds onto it. She carefully passes it to Serena, holding on until Serena can bring it to her lips to take a sip.

"I hope this helps you feel better," Ruri says. "Do you need to take medicine at a certain time in the evening? It's"—she checks a small, leather watch on her wrist—"six o'clock right now."

Serena shakes her head. If Ruri is asking about her medicine though, that must mean Serena is still within the dimensional cities, and within Maiami City too.

A piece of cake appears in her vision. Ruri holds it out with a silver fork, smiling. "How about something sweet, Serena? This is Miss Ray's special sponge cake."

Serena glances to Ray, who nods her head. Carefully, Serena takes the offered cake. It's lightly sweet and spongy, with better texture than much of the food Serena has been eating while in the hospital. It's been a while since she's had tea or sweets, and she takes another, deeper sip of her tea. Her shakiness has begun to ebb away too; her hands no longer upset the tea, spilling it onto her skirt.

"Where ... are we?"

"Are we?" Ruri echoes. "Miss Ray's studio apartment, right in the heart of downtown. If it were brighter outside, we could open up the windows and see the street below; but it's just shiny billboards and advertisements."

Ray laughs with her. "Don't worry, Serena—I live by myself, so we won't be disturbed by anyone else. However, someone here is being shy, I think ..." With a coy smirk, she leans to the side and scoops something up—the black dragon, who wiggles in Ray's grip until his head meets her breast and he settles in Ray's embrace.

"I'm not sure if I introduced him or not, but this Zarc. He made us puella magi and granted us wishes."

Zarc nods, beaming at Ray's words; his wings give a little flutter.

Softly, Serena clears her throat. "Where ... were we though? And those things—what you fought ..."

"Oh, you mean the familiars?" Ruri takes a sip of her tea and smiles into the cup. "We were in a barrier, fighting a dragon. You passed out before we got to the dragon, or what you might call the big boss. What you saw were like the minions of the boss."

"Do you ... always fight ...?"

"I ... guess," Ruri says with a tilt of her head. "Actually, this is a bit embarrassing, but I'm new to becoming a puella magi. Miss Ray here is the veteran, and I've been learning lots and lots from her."

"Hey hey," Ray says, pointing her fork at Ruri. "Don't sell yourself short quite yet. Your fighting skills have drastically improved, and your endurance is getting better and better. You’re becoming a fine puella magi."

Ruri beams like she's her own personal sun.

Serena twists her hands together. Being a puella magi, fighting horrible creatures in a nightmarish realm—it all sounds terrifying. And yet Ruri and Ray both look unharmed and at ease, giggling over tea and sweets. Neither of them are old too: Ruri is in second year, and Ray looks like she might be a year or two older.

Ruri leans towards her. "Hm, Serena, what's up?"

She bows her head forward. "Well ... I don't know ..." She rolls her hands in her skirts. "Don't you get scared?"

"Of?"

"Of ... that place and ... being that too ..."

Ruri's smile softens a bit, and she leans back and rests an arm on the table. "You mean about being a puella magi and fighting familiars and dragons in the barrier? Well, all that is quite scary, and I'm never really all right. But beating a dragon saves a lot of people, and I think if I was granted this power that I should use it for the good of all. And so I guess when I'm there, I tell myself who I'm fighting for, and that makes it a bit easier."

Ray chuckles into her hand. "I can't say anything more beautiful than that, Ruri."

Ruri's cheeks burst pink. "Miss Ray!" she whines.

"You're so cute," Ray tells her, blowing a kiss across the table. This only makes Ruri's cheeks grow redder and redder, and she buries her face in her hands with a soft groan.

The girls stop their giggling when Zarc climbs out of Ray's arms and up on the table. "Miss Ruri is training with Ray so that together they can defeat the Dimensional Dragon."

"The what?" Serena says, and she slaps a hand over her mouth at how blunt her words came out.

Ruri laughs. "The Dimensional Dragon. It's a super-powerful dragon, and the greatest enemy to puella magi. It'll be coming to this city soon, and Ray and I will take it down together."

Serena looks from Ruri to Ray. "Just the two of you?"

Ray nods. "There ... aren't many of us around, or that are willing to team up in this city. So it's just Ruri and I, but that should be more than enough." Ray turns to Ruri. "We make a good team, huh?"

"We do," Ruri says with a strong nod. Then, to Serena, she adds, "Don't worry, Serena. In fact, why don't you come with me and help me train? I bet your courage will cheer me on."

The beauty of Ruri's words makes a funny, fluttery feeling appear in Serena's chest. She's never felt the feeling before, and she raises a hand to the spot above her heart. There's nothing above the surface though; it's a feeling deep within her, and one that tries to say thank you or your words mean the world to me, or something equally sappy.

Serena takes another sip of her tea, and another. When she looks up over her cup, Ruri is holding out another piece of cake to her.

"Let's have another good day tomorrow, all right?"


	33. Thirty-Three

At the end of class, when Serena is packing up her books, she sees a shadow across her desk. First it’s a shadow, then a hand walking its fingers across Serena’s desk. She lifts her head, nearly bumping noses with Ruri, who smiles warmly at her. Ever since the first time they met, Serena has been feeling butterflies in her stomach whenever Ruri looks at her. More than once Ruri has asked her if she has a fever, but when Serena has checked her temperature, she always feels fine. It’s a different kind of feeling though, not nervousness or excitement but some embarrassing combination of both. And no matter how often Serena looks at Ruri, the feeling stays.

“Today’s the day,” Ruri says to her.

Serena swallows thickly. Today is the day the Dimensional Dragon attacks Maiami City. It feels like an otherwise normal day, perhaps a bit stormy and dreary, but not the weather Serena expects would arrive for an apocalypse. On the horizon, if she squints her eyes, she can see a storm brewing.

“We need to get Miss Ray,” Ruri says. “She’s meeting us outside the school.”

Serena nods. She slips the last of her notebooks into her backpack, and then follows Ruri out the classroom doors, down the hallways, into the shoe locker area, and finally out the double-doors. The wind whips at Serena’s cheeks, and she shivers into her jacket. It’s far colder and stormier than it looked like inside. Has the weather changed so drastically and so quickly?

Standing under the cover in a cosy, fur-lined parka is Ray. She looks the same even when she’s not dressed as a puella magi: her hair is in pigtails, and she wears the same genuine, compassionate smile that makes Serena feel a bit safer standing by her.

“You ready to fight?” Ray says. There’s a slight wobble to her voice that Serena catches.

Ruri must have too, but instead of commenting on it, she embraces Ray tightly, saying, “We’re going to save the world, Miss Ray!”

Both of them seem far, far too optimistic to Serena. She too wants to think that two middle school girls have the potential and power to save the dimensions, but that seems like a far cry. If this is the greatest evil for puella magi, shouldn’t there be more of them fighting? Shouldn’t this be a war: dragons versus puella magi? How come no one else is fighting? Ruri and Ray have both been a bit cryptic when talking about other puella magi, and Serena thinks that perhaps not all puella magi get along.

She doesn’t say anything though on the walk through the streets. Ruri and Ray seem to have a plan, and though they’ve shared it with Serena many, many times before, she still can’t quite grasp her head around two girls fighting a beast like that. It just seems too bizarre.

They head towards the city centre, to the bridge that runs across the Maiami River. When she steps onto the bridge, Serena feels her skin begin to prickle. The world melts and changes around her, growing darker and drearier. The sky turns purple and black like an ugly bruise. Around her feet, the bridge has become wrought-iron bars welded and twisted together.

Serena looks ahead, shivering in the wind. Ruri and Ray have transformed into their beautiful, puella magi selves. Their weapons are drawn, and they stand facing the river. Down the water, Serena sees what’s caught their attention: a great figure on the horizon, more terrifying than Serena can ever imagine. She can’t even begin to describe it, and her vision goes hazy.

Someone pulls her vision away—Ruri, pulling her into a tight hug. Ray comes around and hugs her too, and both girls cling to her, their shoulders quivering. Serena feels like she’s on the verge of tears too, and if she had her voice, she’d tell them, “It’ll be all right, don’t worry.” It’s the most unreassuring thing she could possibly say … but what else could fill the silence? What else could even help?

Ruri and Ray break away with sad, teary smiles.

“Cheer for us, Serena!” Ruri says, clasping Serena’s hand in her own, gloved hands.

Ray gives her a thumbs-up. “Keep your eye on us, all right?”

Ruri lets go, and she takes Ray’s hand. The two of them stand together, looking into each other’s eyes. It looks like they’re speaking telepathically, and Serena wonders what they might be saying to one another. Then the leap into the air like beautiful swans and soar through the sky, up the river and towards the Dimensional Dragon. Now Serena can properly stare at it. It’s a creature made of connected cords and electrical powers; the metal twists and twirls to make a strange mecha shape. There’s no pilot, not even a head—just a body of twisted metal poles..

Serena runs to the side of the bridge, holding tightly to the guardrails. She watches her friends charge after the Dimension Dragon, weapons drawn, battle cries echoing all around the barrier. In this dark, bruised space, Serena is the only other person around.

The first to attack is Ray, shooting bullets from both of her guns. When she twirls through the air, more guns appear, as if in a parallel universe there is an infinite supply of machinery. Meanwhile, Ruri ducks and twists to hit the Dimensional Dragon under the arms and in the eyes, places that might inflict more damage.

While the girls fight, Serena stands and watches, praying with all her heart that they’ll come back.

More than once, Ruri and Ray are thrown aside by the Dimensional Dragon’s attacks. Serena’s heart flies into her throat, and she holds her breath until she sees them move, never giving up, never backing away.

Until Ray gets impaled, that is. Serena sees it as clear as day: the blade of a sword drives through Ray’s head and through her body. Her corpse tumbles into the sea with a gentle _plop!_ It’s wholly anticlimactic, and for a second Serena has to blink and rub her eyes to make sure she didn’t hallucinate anything. But then Ruri dives down into the sea, and Serena nearly throws herself into the dark, inky waters in the process.

“Miss Ray! Miss Ray—Kurosaki—guys, no—come back—”

Serena lets go of the guardrail and charges back towards the exit of the bridge. This place is just an alternate reality of Maiami City, so if Serena runs down the road, she can get closer to where Ray was. As she runs closer, along the river banks, she watches for any signs of Ruri or Ray coming out of the water. Puella magi can’t hold their breaths forever, can they? And above them the Dimensional Dragon draws closer.

As Serena approaches the dragon, she hears a gasp and sees the water shoot up in the air like a geyser. From the jet appears Ruri, soaked the bone and holding tight to a limp, bloody corpse. The weight drags her down, and Ruri lands in the shallow word, clinging tightly to Ray’s dead body.

The sight of the body has Serena gagging. There is so, so much blood on every surface from a cut that runs from her skull to her belly button. It’s a miracle the body didn’t just separate in two, and the moment Serena has that thought, she heaves up her lunch.

“I’m sorry,” Ruri says. She has tears in her eyes, but she’s not quite the sobbing, sick mess that Serena is. Carefully, Ruri brushes the hair from Ray’s eyes. “Miss Ray, I-I’m sorry for everything.”

Through her wet bangs, Serena meets Ruri’s eyes. “R-ruri …”

Ruri reaches out and runs her hands through Serena’s hair. “Thank you for being here today, Serena …” Shuffling forward, Ruri moves Ray’s body down onto the ground. Ruri folds Ray’s hands atop her chest, and adjusts her costume. Her hands become caked in blood, yet it doesn’t seem to stop Ruri from touching the body. It makes Serena’s stomach curl, and she prays that she won’t be sick again.

“I need you to watch Miss Ray, all right. I …” Ruri sniffles. “I don’t know what happens to a puella magi’s body, but I know you’ll take good care of her, all—”

Serena coughs. “Kurosaki, no—no, she’s dead—”

Ruri nods sadly. “She’s in good hands with—”

“You _can’t,”_ Serena wails, scrubbing at her eyes and face. “That—that thing you want to defeat—you can’t do it by yourself if you couldn’t even do it with one person, that’s just—that’s insane, and—and you’ll—”

Ruri’s hand reaches out to cup Serena’s cheek, stilling her mouth. Serena gasps at the contact, and wishes she could lean in; but when she sees Ruri’s wet eyes, it only makes the feeling in her heart—the feeling she’s had ever since she first saw her—ache even more.

“I’m the only puella magi left who has a chance, and so I can’t abandon my duty.”

Serena sniffles, pushing her face further into Ruri’s cupped hand. “You … you can though … and no one w-will ever resent you—o-or be mad, o-or anything.”

Ruri just keeps smiling though. Her thumb brushes against the tears streaming down Serena’s cheeks. “It will be OK, Serena.”

“I-it won’t …” Serena says through quaking sobs. She can hardly hold her head up or keep herself together. Her vision blurs and fades, but when she blinks away the tears, she keeps seeing Ruri, still touching her, still smiling.

“I’m so happy I became your friend, Serena. You mean something special to me, I want you to know that. And … I’m happy I got to save you on that first day when you found out my secret. None of my friends or family know this secret, and sometimes I wish I’d told them … but then I’m also glad you found out first. That makes you even, even more special.”

“Kurosaki … please …”

“I’m a puella magi, so it’s my duty to save other people, just like I saved you. And so, Serena, I’m really happy for who I am. I’m happy I got to meet you and know you. Whatever happens, know that you’re my friend.”

Ruri pulls her hand away. She stands, and with a sad smile, flicks out her wrist. Her bow and arrow appear in her hands; she looks like a beautiful hunter about to embark on a mission.

“I fight for people like you, Serena,” Ruri says, and then she turns and leaps through the bruising sky, towards the Dimensional Dragon. Serena reaches out her hand, and screams for Ruri to come back, but her words are swept up by a strong gale that threatens to uproot the buildings and bridge.

Serena doesn’t stay put for long. She grabs Ray’s body and drags it across the ground, towards the Dimensional Dragon. She can’t let Ruri be by herself, but she can’t leave Ray to the crows either. In the sky, Ruri flies and shoots. Her strikes always make their mark, but they never seem to affect the dragon that blunders through the city.

“Kurosaki!”

The sword drives through Ruri’s gut, clean out the other side.

Serena vomits on the ground.

She sees the end of the sword travel back through Ruri’s body that hangs in the sky.

Quickly, Serena runs into the water, ready to catch Ruri when she falls into the sea. It doesn’t matter if Ruri sinks to the bottom, Serena _won’t_ let Ruri die, not after everything she’s done—

As if Ruri had been saving her last vestiges of energy for this very moment, her body flies through the air, to the side, and collides with Serena. The two girls tumble across the sandy coast, bodies soaked and shivering. When they stop tumbling, Serena quickly pulls herself upright. She fists her hands in Ruri’s outfit, giving her a single, firm shake.

“W-wake up.”

Ruri doesn’t move a muscle.

Another shake.

“Kurosaki, w-wake up! Up! Wake … wake _up!”_

Serena shakes her again and again. She cups her cold, wet hands to Ruri’s pale cheeks, feeling for any heat or signs of life. Ruri’s skin is soft yet cold. She must have been freezing while fighting. Her lips are cracked and there are bags under her eyes, as if she didn’t get a good sleep last night. Serena doesn’t remember ever seen those signs on Ruri in class today.

 _Were you hiding your pain?_ Serena thinks, growling low in her throat. _Were you—were you trying to be a hero?_

With a sob, Serena falls on top of Ruri. Tears leak from her itchy, puffy eyes. She keeps twisting the fabric of Ruri’s uniform, giving her a shake every so often to rouse her.

“H-how could you?” Serena says. “You … you must have known you d-didn’t stand a chance, so why? Why? Why did you even try?”

Serena cups her hands around Ruri’s round cheeks. “I w-wish you were still alive. I w-wish it was me dead instead of you because—because the world needs people like you instead of me. The world needs fighters and believers and dreamers and inspirers and I’m _none of those,_ and s-so why did it have to be you of all people?”

Choking back another sob, Serena whispers into Ruri’s chest, “I wish you lived instead of me …”

“Do you really mean that, Saotome Serena?”

Serena lifts her head, vision dizzy. There, perched on the ground, is Zarc, tail tucked around his reptilian body. His eyes glow with such intensity that Serena wishes she could look away, but something about his gaze captivates her. His voice too … didn’t Ruri say that Zarc could make contracts?

Zarc flicks his tail across the dirty, black water. “Are you willing to trade your soul for that wish?”

“My …” Serena raises a hand to her heart.

“That wish you just said: _I wish you lived instead of me._ Do you truly mean that?”

“I—I do, more than anything, I’ll give up my life—”

Zarc’s smile widens. “If you want that wish granted so badly that you’re willing to accept a life of fighting, I can help you.”

“You …” Serena coughs roughly. “You can … help?”

“I can grant you a single wish if you make a contract with me. It can be any wish in the world. If you make a contact with me, you will become a puella magi, just like Ruri and Ray.”

A pit grows in Serena’s heart. She thinks about the body in her hands, and Ray’s body not a few feet away. But then … but then if Serena became a puella magi she could undo some of that, she could go back to time and save Ruri. There must be an another chance; there must be another reality where Ruri _lives._

“I’ll make it.” Serena bows her head. “Please … make me a contract.”

“Very well.” Zarc steps towards her until he is nose to nose with her, standing atop of Ruri’s corpse. Serena winces at the sight, but she tries not to take her gaze away from Zarc’s.

“Now tell me, Miss Serena, with what wish will you make your Soul Gem shine?”

Serena doesn’t even bother to ask what a Soul Gem might be. She places her hand over her heart, her other hand still cupped to Ruri’s face, and says, “I want to redo my first meeting with Kurosaki. I want to become someone who can protect her, instead of someone who is protected by her.”

The tip of Zarc’s nose touches her wrist, and from the contract bursts a small, silver bracelet. Attached to the bracelet is a ring, and inlaid in the ring is a single, star-shaped purple gem. It glows warmly against Serena’s wrist, and when she touches it, it feels like she’s connected with an intimate part of herself.

 _My … soul?_ she thinks.

Zarc leans back, seeming satisfied with his work. “The contract has been formed. Now …” His smile splits across his face. “Show me your new powers.”


	34. Thirty-Four

When Serena wakes up, the first thing she sees is the white ceiling. She’s covered in white sheets too, and to her side are soft, off-white walls, sparsely decorated. It takes Serena a moment to remember where she is because she  _ recognises  _ this place, and then it comes to her all a once, a rush of memories and feelings and emotions.

Ruri.

Serena glances around, looking left and right for Ruri. Instead, her eyes find the bracelet around her wrist, embedded with the purple, star-shaped gem. Her Soul Gem, Zarc had called it. 

_ So it wasn’t a dream,  _ Serena thinks. Then if the Soul Gem wasn’t a dream, and Zarc wasn’t a dream … what happened to Ruri, and Ray, and that timeline with the Dimensional Dragon and the war? Where did all of that go? 

Slowly, Serena pushes herself to a sitting position, leaning back against the pillows on her stretcher. To her side is a little bedside table upon which sits a calendar. Serena had been tracking the days until her discharge, counting them off with x’s, and the only day without an x is her discharge day, circled with a purple highlighter.

Serena runs her fingers over the date. She’s come back to her discharge day, the very same day she started school. Serena remembers her first day back at class, back in that other reality, where she’d stood with her head bowed before a million pairs of eyes. But then, somewhere within that crowd must have been Ruri. Serena clenches her hands. Ruri is still alive.

A course of electricity runs down her spine. Quickly, Serena begins to throw herself together. The hospital can’t keep her for long anyways, and with her powers—the powers of a puella magi—she can do anything. Serena heads out the window, scaling the walls until she lands on the soft, plush grass before.

The city looks like it never changed. Serena sees the same blue skies and green fields. The gray buildings are around too, and it all looks so familiar and bright to her. Before she takes a step though, Serena pinches her wrist, just once, to make sure she hasn’t been dreaming. The world doesn’t fade away though; it remains as clear as it did the very first time she woke up.

_ I’ll save you in this timeline,  _ Serena thinks.  _ Ruri, I’ll save you. _

Serena heads off to class. The uniform she has to wear is a bit itchy. The skirt rubs along her legs, and her tights cling too tightly to her thin legs. She feels a few sizes too small in this uniform too, as if perhaps she’s meant to grow into it. With bristling embarrassment, Serena stops and stares down at a puddle. She can’t fix her uniform, but she can do her hair. She twists the strands together, remembering the beautiful down-do Ruri had made. Serena has no idea how one girl can look so beautiful, but she tries to replicate it before she heads to class.

When at last the school comes into view, Serena breathes a sigh of relief. It looks the same as it did on the first day. In fact, today feels like she is playing an otome game: she answers the questions of the faculty at the school, and heads to her new class. Serena already knows the questions she will be asked, and the expressions her classmates will give her; so, when she steps through the doorways and into the classroom, she holds her head up high and smiles.

Right at the front of the class, with the gentlest smile on her face, sits Ruri. Her hair is twisted in a beautiful down-do, with a couple softer, lavender strands framing her features. Her bright, pink eyes blink at Serena, and for a second Serena thinks that Ruri might recognise her.

At his desk, the teacher asks Serena to write her name on the board. She scribbles it down quickly, and before the teacher can ask her to introduce herself, Serena drops forward into a bow and says, “I’m Saotome Serena! Nice to meet you!”

The teacher coughs awkwardly. “Everyone, Saotome has been …”

But Serena doesn’t let him prattle on; she already knows what he’s going to say. Besides, Serena is much more interested in seeings Ruri. She heads towards Ruri’s desk. Ruri’s eyes widen in surprise.

_ You remember me, don’t you?  _ Serena thinks.  _ You remember me from back then. _

Serena reaches out and clasps Ruri’s hands in her own. She feels a blush on her cheeks, but Ruri’s own face pops cherry-red in surprise.

“Kurosaki!” Serena says. “I became a puella magi! Let’s do our best together.”

Ruri nibbles on her lip. “Ah … hah …”

“Oh—that’s a secret—” She closes her mouth, gives Ruri’s hands one more squeeze, and then brushes past her and towards her desk. Serena’s cheeks burn with shame. Ruri had said it was a secret she’d never shared, and so even if this timeline might be different, that wouldn’t mean that Ruri would want to share that.

All throughout class, Serena keeps her head bowed and her eyes on her desk. She doesn’t look around until someone walks their fingers across her desk, and Serena lifts her head to see Ruri smiling down at her. It’s the same, genuine smile that Ruri wears, and though her cheeks are red, it makes her look like a doll.

“Hi there. I’m Kurosaki Ruri, the health officer. The teacher told me that you have medicine to take at lunch time, and I figured you don’t know where the infirmary is. Why don’t I show you the way?”

Serena nods, stumbling out of her seat. This is the same interaction she remembers from the first day.

Outside of the classroom though, that’s when it changes. Ruri walks a bit quicker, her shoulders stiffer. Serena opens and closes her mouth, eager to ask Ruri what has got her bothered. Instead, Ruri turns around and speaks for herself.

“You … you knew I was a puella magi?”

“Yeah … sorry.”

Ruri jumps her shoulders a little bit, and then playfully bats Serena on the arm. “Why are you apologising for that, Serena? There aren’t many puella magi around these parts, just Miss Ray and I. If anything, I’m so happy to know that there’s someone like me in this world.”

Serena’s mouth drops. Ruri … is happy?

“You—you’re not mad?” Serena asks.

Ruri shakes her head, bangs twisting and twirling around her cheeks. “Not in the slightest. You sure gave me quite the surprise blurting that out right at the start of class, but I guess if I was new to a school too, and I knew there was a fellow puella magi in my class, I’d probably say hi to them too and introduce myself.” Folding her hands together, Ruri brings them up to her heart. “I’m really happy you’re in my class, Serena.”

Serena feels like her soul could soar up to heaven.

“You’re welcome,” she says, and for once her voice doesn’t stumble. It feels like an anthem in her heart, singing a song of victory. If Ruri wants to be friends with her, and if Ruri is a puella magi, then Serena can make a difference. She’ll make sure Ray doesn’t die, and together all three of them will fight the Dimensional Dragon. 

“So,” Ruri says, bumping shoulders with Serena, “what’s your power?”

“Ah—” Serena swallows. What is her power? She’s never even used her magic before beyond escaping the hospital. She’s never fought a single familiar or dragon before.

Ruri seems to sense the unease. “Serena, did you just become a puella magi?”

Serena nods, not meeting Ruri’s eyes.

Ruri only hugs her arm more tightly. “That’s awesome then! I became a puella magi last week, so don’t worry if you’re a bit unfamiliar with the fighting and all that. We’ll learn together. Oh!” Ruri pulls away, her lips making a small o. “You have to meet Miss Ray, a veteran puella magi. She’s a year older than us, and after school she and I fight familiars and dragons together. You’re very welcome to come along.”

Serena feels like she could sing. “I—yes, yes—please, Kurosaki, let me come along.”

Ruri hugs her once more. “I’m so happy you’re my classmate and friend, Serena. Let’s have a good day today!”

When Serena gets back to class, never once does she bow her head. She looks straight ahead at the back of Ruri’s head, her hair beautifully bound with clips and ribbons. The more Serena looks at Ruri, the more she feels the butterflies in her stomach and the heat on her cheeks. It feels like she’s caught a fever, only it’s the best kind of illness, one that makes her want to cuddle up with Ruri just so she can feel her soft skin.

Unfortunately, by the end of class, Serena can’t remember a single thing she’s learnt.

She meets Ruri at her desk, eager to get down the stairs and meet Ray. Serena wishes that, like an otome game, there is a button she can press to speed up some of the dialogue. She wants to get past some of the chitter-chatter … and yet, even on the walk down the shoe locker, holding onto Ruri’s hands, Serena wishes she could replay that little moment over and over in her head. It feels like she’s woken up in a fairytale dream where all her wishes have come true.

They meet Ray outside of the school. Ray looks the same: motherly and kind, and she embraces Serena in a hug and congratulates her for making a contract. When they’re ready to go, Ray leads them down the same sidewalk Serena walked down that day long, long ago. This time though, Serena doesn’t wish she would die—she wishes she could live on and on with Ruri.

“You’ve never fought familiars before, have you?” Ruri asks.

Serena shakes her head.

“Well don’t worry—Miss Ray and I will show you the ropes.”

Serena feels the butterflies grow in her chest.

Ahead of them is the tear in reality and the opening to the barrier. The three girls step through it and into the grey, desolate wasteland, meagrely decorated with chipped pillars. It’s the same barrier Serena remember seeing, only this time she doesn’t feel quite so anxious. After all, Ruri won’t be saving her this time; Serena can protect herself.

“Ready?” Ruri says.

“Ready.”

They leap through the sky like doves, unlocking their powers. Having never transformed before, Serena finds it a touch anticlimactic when she doesn’t feel like an entirely new person—just someone with a new outfit, a red dress and fluffy skirt, and long, dark tights around her legs. She even feels a bit inferior to Ruri and Ray, both who look like true goddesses.

Ruri seems to think otherwise. She squeals into her hands, saying, “You’re the cutest, Serena!”

Serena hides her burning face in her hands. 

As they fly through the sky, Serena sees the familiars walking down below—faceless zombie-like abominations. She remembers back when she was just a human who had stumbled into the barrier, and she thinks that, now with her powers, she might be able to fight them. A glance around her though says otherwise. Ruri and Ray both have clear weapons, but Serena … has a shield. It looks like an archaic piece of trash that was collected from the garbage and deemed as a heirloom of sorts, but Serena truly thinks she’s been giving the short end of the puella magi stick.

While Ruri and Ray shoot arrows and bullets at the familiars, Serena fiddles with her shield. There must be a weapon here, like a secret compartment where a knife is stored. Surely she can’t just protect?

The entire time they fly to the dragon though, Serena can’t figure out how her powers work. 

“Serena,” Ruri says, touching her arm, “look. That’s the dragon.”

Serena raises her head and follows where Ruri is pointing. Jutting from the ground are at least a dozen clustered poles, bouncing up and down. Serena tries to wrap her head around just what is going on, but before she can get a chance Ruri and Ray dive forward and attack. They chip away at the pillars, blasting them clean off. Neither of them say anything to Serena about her lack of participation, but Serena can feel their judgment all the same.

Smashing her fist down on her shield, Serena growls, “Work, damn it.” How hard is it to be a puella magi? Was there a rule book she forgot to read or something?

With another growl, Serena yanks at the shield. Surely there must be a switch or lever somewhere that’ll activate some power. She keeps jiggling it, hoping she hits a button—when at last, the shield on her arm whirs to life with a loud, buzzing sound. It crackles the air around her, and with a yelp Serena holds her arm out and away.

In the air, Ray and Ruri pause. “Wha—”

The barrier glitches like a broken computer. Then the shield powers down, and the barrier falls silent.

Serena lets out a breath. What just happened?

It’s then that she notices the dragon isn’t moving, frozen in place. Ray and Ruri notice it too, and Ray even jabs the front of her gun into one of the pillars.

“What’d you do there, Serena?” she says. 

“I … I don’t—”

Ruri shrugs her shoulders, still smiling. “I think you activated your powers, Serena! Congrats!”

Serena doesn’t think they should be celebrating over anything like this, especially if none of them know what has happened. The barrier looks more normal, though nothing else seems to be moving but them. It’s as if …

“Time,” Ray blurts out. “Serena, you stopped time.” A chuckle. “Ain’t that cool?”

“It’s  _ so  _ cool!” Ruri says, and she claps her hands over her mouth as if she hadn’t meant to blurt the words out. “It … it really is, you know.”

Serena can’t even open her mouth. The butterflies in her belly have returned with vengeance. Yet when she glances around the dimension, she can’t help but admire some of her handiwork. It makes sense that, since she made a wish to turn back time, that her powers should also include time. 

Ruri bowls into her before Serena even realises it. They tumble through the air, catching in the dreary clouds. Sparkles erupt from their contact. Ruri kicks her feet through the air so that they keep rolling and tumbling for what feels like forever. Serena just wishes she will never, ever leave Ruri’s arm. 

They only break up when Ray comes by to stop their rolling, and she pulls them apart, saying, “You two, this is a dragon’s barrier—we need to be on alert.”

“Sorry,” Ruri says, cheeks red.

Serena bows her head.

“Now …” Ray clicks her teeth together, folding her arms across her chest. “Serena, your power … do you think there’s anything else to it?”

“Anything—”

“I mean, do you think there’s another step to it besides freezing time? That’s a wonderful ability to help us out, but if you were on your own you’d need something to attack a dragon or familiar with.”

Twisting her arm from side to side, Serena searches the shield for any hidden slot. The cogs inside the disk look like they might be able to come out if she broke the disk, but overall it just looks like an ornamental shield. Sighing, Serena shakes her head.

“That’s all right,” Ray says, rubbing Serena’s shoulder. “That’s all right with me. But you need to be able to fight, not for our sake, but for your own. Let’s think of a way to help you fight, like … a weapon. What kinds of weapons can you bring with you?”

Ruri taps her chin with a finger. “Well, you can bring anything from outside of the barrier into the barrier, so maybe a gun or a sword. You’d want to bring something small, or else you’d be lugging around an entire bag of weapons. Plus that might raise suspicions.”

Ray hums and hahs. “Let’s give it a bit of a thought, OK? We’ll figure something out for you, Serena, don’t you worry.” Ray embraces her in a tight hug, drawing Ruri close as well. The three of them stay in each other’s arms, feeling skin on skin, hearing each other’s breaths and sighs. 


	35. Thirty-Five

On the day the Dimensional Dragon comes to Maiami City, Serena stands her ground. She doesn’t bat an eye all day. Sure, she has butterflies in her stomach and itchy skin, and when she tries to take a deep breath it gets caught in her dry throat, but she doesn’t let any of this get to her when she stands on the bridge with Ruri and Ray on either side of her. They’ve transformed into beautiful swans, standing before the Dimensional Dragon that rumbles down the path. 

Down the river, the Dimensional Dragon draws closer. Serena rolls her shoulders.

“Ready?” Ray says.

“Ready,” Ruri and Serena say together.

They take off through the dark, bruising sky. Serena feels the wind in her hair and on her cheeks, and she squints her eyes to see through the thick clouds. It has begun to rain too, and by the time she’s halfway to the Dimensional Dragon, her wet hair clings to her cheeks. Her uniform drags her down, and she stumbles through a gust of wind.

Ruri leans into her, helping her stay on track. She reaches out and squeezes Serena’s hand, as if to say,  _ It’ll be all right. _

When they get to the dragon, they shoot higher up towards the sky. Ray stays up above the clouds, shooting both of her guns at the dragon’s head and neck. Ruri dives down and circles around, aiming arrows into the crevices between the folds of the dragon’s skin. Serena doesn’t even know where to begin to attack, but she throws homemade bombs at the dragon.

From the skies, Ray screams, “Stop the clock, Serena!”

Serena knows the cue. She presses the palm of her hand down on her shield, flinching at the cold, wet metal. She feels the magic within her unlock, and the shield whirs to life. Then the entire city glitches, blinking in and out of existence. And when Serena next opens her eyes, the dragon has been immobilised in the middle of the river. Its body has become more translucent, and the inky material on its skin has dripped in the sea below.

“Keep fighting—”

The rest of Ruri’s words become drowned out as she tumbles through the sky, screeching like a banshee. Serena has never heard such a terrible sound, but it doesn’t matter—she charges after Ruri, catching her before she tumbles into the water. They skid across the river, levitating; only unlike that time when they rolled through the sky giggling, Ruri keeps on screaming and convulsing as if she’s having a seizure. 

Quickly, Serena tugs Ruri to the shore. She tries to hold Ruri steady, but she thrashes, twisting side to side. Something black leaks across her chest, coming from her bracelet.

Bracelet.

Her soul is bleeding from her bracelet. 

This is it.

She—she can no longer fight.

Serena snatches Ruri’s wrist and tries to pull the bracelet off. Her fingers become coated in the inky tar, and it makes it impossible for her to yank the bracelet off. Ruri keeps screaming as her Soul Gem leaks across the sand.

“Kurosaki!” Serena says. “Kurosaki, listen to me—please!” 

Ruri whimpers, and then opens her mouth and screams until her throat squeaks.

Serena glances left and right, looking for any signs of Ray. Where’s the other puella magi? Ray must know what to do in this situation—she’s a veteran. But Ray is nowhere in sight and neither is the Dimensional Dragon. The fight is over and they’ve won.

“W-why?” Serena says, voice crackling with muted sobs. “W-why did this … why didn’t it work?”

Her slippery fingers stumble on the leaking Soul Gem. 

“Why?” Serena screams. “We beat it—we beat it and we lived, and everything w-was meant to be all right.” She cups Ruri’s face in her hand; Ruri twists her head to the side, coughing so violently she looks ready to be sick.

“Wh—”

The Soul Gem erupts, black ink shooting up into the air like a fountain and covering Serena. She screams, and Ruri screams, and their pained sounds echo all through the barrier. Serena can barely see Ruri in front of her, and when she taps her hands to the space in front of her, she feels hot, sticky sand.

“No …  _ no!  _ Kurosaki—no, where are you—”

The barrier has gone deathly silent.

Swallowing thickly, Serena grips tightly to her shield, fingers slipping on the metal. 

_ I need to go back again—back to when Ruri is alive. I need another chance. I need— _

She opens her eyes and sees the white ceiling of the hospital room. Her heart beats like a drum in her chest, and she bolts upright in her bed, retching loudly. She can still remember the feeling of the Soul Gem bleeding onto her hands. In her ears, she can still hear Ruri’s pained screeches as she died in Serena’s arms.

Serena feels her blood run cold.

There … is no end. Whether or not they defeat the Dimensional Dragon is irrelevant, right? Sure, it is a puella magi’s greatest enemy … but so are other puella magis, and the concept of contracts, and the endless fighting that must already end in death. The more Serena thinks about it, the darker the thoughts become. They’re fighting dragons—but why? For who? For the wishes that—that Zarc—

Zarc.

Her blood boils under her skin. Come to think of it, Serena hadn’t seen Zarc around at all, though she’s certain he was in that reality too, making contracts with potential girls. Did Zarc know that Ruri would die in that reality too? Did Zarc know that, regardless of whether or not the Dimensional Dragon dies, Ruri will not live through that encounter? 

And her death—Serena doesn’t remember all of it, but seeing Ruri’s Soul Gem leak everywhere, and then the inky blood, so similar to what has bled from dragons …

_ There’s something wrong here,  _ Serena thinks. There’s something wrong with being a puella magi, something Ray and Ruri must not know, maybe something they’ve never been told in the first place. But Serena can feel it in her very soul that there is something wrong with her and with them, and that unless she can get Ruri out of her contract, she won’t live through her next reality.

* * *

There’s another girl.

In their class, there’s another puella magi named Yuzu, a bright and chipper, pink-haired girl who Serena never remembers paying attention to. Turns out that, not only is she Ruri’s close friend, she also became a puella magi thanks to Ruri. Serena feels sick to her stomach when she learns about it. Not only does she have Ruri to worry about, now there’s another girl risking her life for the safety of the dimensions.

In class that day—the very first day she’s back, and the day they are supposed to go and hunt the pillar dragon—Serena calls together a meeting. She heads straight to Ruri’s desk and says, “Kurosaki, we need to talk—all of us.”

“All of us?” Ruri says with a tilt of her head.

“Puella magis,” Serena says, and then blushes when she realises this is still a secret Ruri likes to keep on the downlow. “I need to talk to everyone … it’s very important.”

Ruri’s expression hardens, and she nods her head. “I’ll get everyone together,” she says. “Let’s talk after class.”

All during class, Serena’s doesn’t pay a speck of attention. She’s heard the same lecture twice now, and she already knows the lesson. Instead, she studies her classmates, wondering if any of them might be puella magi. Serena wonders how Zarc picks girls to make contracts with. Does he have any patterns? Are there certain girls with more or less potential? And how does he know that? Does he study them? Does he entertain those ideas for days before he picks someone?

By the end of class, Serena feels her head spinning in circles. She shakes herself awake when Ruri, like she always does, walks her fingers across Serena’s desk and then takes Serena’s hand in her own. On the way to the door they pick up Yuzu who holds Ruri’s other hand. The three of them all head down the hallway together, Ruri and Yuzu chatting away.

When they get outside, they pick up Ray too. Ruri explains where they’re going and what they need to talk about, though as they descend down the school steps and head along the cobblestone path, Yuzu talks animatedly about her friend that’s recently going to be discharged from the hospital.

“... huh?” Serena says, leaning around Ruri to look at Yuzu.

“Yeah, my friend … I, uh, saved him, if you know what I mean.”

Serena shakes her head, though a seed of worry nags at her mind that she  _ does  _ know what Yuzu is talking about.

“My wish,” Yuzu says. “I made my wish for him to get better. And yes, it’s simple, and yes, it’s not for me … but it is because I’m going to be happier now that he’s out of the hospital and back to dueling.”

Ruri nods her head. “Yuzu and Yuuya are duel students at You Show, and partners too!”

“Sometimes,” Ray says, “you make the wish for the sake of both of you. I know I made my wish for myself, but Ruri …”

“Mine’s a secret,” Ruri says, pressing a finger to her pink lips. “It’s a secret safe with me, but don’t worry, I know I made the right wish.” Leaning her head to the side, she glances at Serena. “Hey Serena, what special wish did you make when you made your contract?”

The butterflies flutter in her belly. “I …” Serena begins, her throat dry. “It’s a secret … too.”

Ruri just smiles, nonplussed. “I hope your wish came true then.”

Serena smiles through the ache in her heart and the pain in her belly. She can’t tell Ruri about the wish, can she? Would Ruri even believe her? Would Ruri ever understand what wish she made, the wish that can never fully come true?

“Say,” Yuzu says, interrupting Serena’s train of thought, “what were you gonna tell us about, Serena?”

“About …” Suddenly, the conversation kicks in, and it only makes Serena feel sicker. “Oh, yeah … about that?”

“About what?” Ruri echoes. “You seemed very serious this morning in homeroom. It was like something big was on your mind, and I’m sorry you had to wait all day to share it. What’s going on?”

Both Ray and Yuzu nod their heads, prompting Serena. Serena only feels worse though, and she twists her hands together. They’ve headed towards the city now, though somehow they’ve ventured down a different path, not towards the barrier they were meant to attack, but instead towards the bridge. On the horizon, Serena sees pink, cotton-candy clouds from the beginning of a sunset.

“You know …” Serena begins, swallowing the pit in her throat. “You know … what it means to be a puella magi, right?”

Yuzu leans her head to the side. “To fight dragons and save the dimensions?”

“And to earn our wishes,” Ray adds.

Serena shakes her head though. “I think … I think we’ve been lied to by Zarc. I think there’s more to being a puella magi than that, and though I don’t know it—”

“Why would you say that?”

Serena startles. Yuzu has spoken up, and her voice cuts through the chatter like a knife against butter.

“What would Zarc gain by lying to us?” Yuzu stops walking, and her hands ball in tight fists. Serena feels her stomach begin to sink to the ground. She hadn’t expected anyone to defend being a puella magi, but then again she knows Yuzu the least.

“Because …” Serena feels her mouth go dry. She has no proof, not unless any of them want to die, that is.

This only seems to make Yuzu more frustrated. “What? You think we’re being kept in the dark about something? The last thing any of us need is to be turning on each other, not when there’s a super-dragon on its way here.”

Ruri nods her head; Serena feels her stomach drop further.

“Serena, I’m … confused …”

Pointing a finger, Yuzu growls out, “You’re working with that loner puella magi … Rin, wasn’t that her name? Yeah, Rin. You teaming up with her? That’s seems like the kinds of lies she might spout.”

“No—I heard it from—”

Ray raises a hand. “It’s sounds like some theories have been flying around the air. I’d suspect they’ve come from the information around the Dimensional Dragon. I bet even the other puella magi, Rin, knows about the threat. Still though, Yuzu is right about one thing: we can’t be torn apart by theories and mysteries. No matter what happens, we need to stick together and work as a team.”

Serena balls her hands in fists. “It—it won’t matter if you defeat that dragon because … because …”

“Because?” Yuzu echoes. “I really want to trust you, Serena, but you’re making no sense.” She taps her chin, gazing up at the growing sunset and darkening skies. “And if you can’t explain yourself, and you think we should abandon this city or something, then I don’t think I want to follow you—”

“But—”

“Because if we don’t stick together, one of us is going to die.” Yuzu spits the words out as if they are bile. “Because if we don’t stick together and keep watch of one another, a dragon is going to kill us, or that weird loner Rin is going to target us. We can’t be doubting each other, and doubting Zarc, when there are greater problems.”

Serena feels tears in her eyes. She looks from Yuzu to Ray to Ruri, and her eyes stay on Ruri, pleading to her to understand. Surely Ruri must know what she’s saying. Surely Ruri must realise that there is something wrong with being a puella magi. Surely  _ someone  _ must see that they’re being misled. But Serena feels like the odd one out of the group, the new girl among the puella magis, and so in the end she can’t convince any of them to listen to her. 

_ I’ve failed them,  _ Serena thinks.  _ I’ve failed them until I can find another way for them to believe me, and who knows how that’ll happen. But if they go against the Dimensional Dragon, they will die … and Ruri will die. _

_ I’ll fail once again unless I can change fate.  _


	36. Thirty-Six

When Ray and Ruri died, Serena doesn't remember anything but the blood on her hands and the tears in her eyes. They died like anyone else would, and she cried over their mangled and broken bodies.

When Yuzu dies, Serena sees something entirely different—a monster bursts forth, with cracked skin and a long, sweeping dress. It's unlike anything Serena has ever seen, and when she looks from left to right, she realises that she's no longer in the city. She's in a barrier, the world brightly coloured and decorated with music notes. Her stomach swirls.

_ No. _

This ... this isn't what is meant to happen.

Around Serena fly Ruri and Ray, with Rin hanging above them screaming insults. Serena can't make out anything they're saying, though they all sound upset with her. It makes sense. Serena doesn't know  _ what  _ happened, only that they are in grave, grave danger the day before the Dimensional Dragon arrives.

As Serena flies through the sky, flipping through the air, she begins to wonder if  _ this  _ is a dragon too. She hadn't seen Yuzu fall to the ground, her Soul Gem erupting and oozing between her shaky hands. All Serena saw was Yuzu's body arc through the air and burst into a terrifying monster. It's a dragon though; without a doubt, Serena has seen a dragon.

A dragon that looks like Yuzu.

It makes her sick.

Someone snatches the back of her collar and yanks her upwards—Rin, her eyes a scorching yellow. "The fuck did you do to her?" Rin screeches. "What did you say or do, you fucking idiot? She wasn't—she wasn't like this yesterday."

No, yesterday was another normal day. Yesterday was like any other day of being a puella magi. But today peril has been dropped on their tiny shoulders. Serena feels crushed under the responsibility, and when she looks around the barrier at her friends screaming and crying, at their helpless attempts to bring Yuzu back, Serena feels a seed of shame in her heart. She told them ... she told them, but she had to do  _ more more more  _ to save them.

_ I won't even win ... will I? _

_ But I have to stop them. _

Serena rips herself out of Rin's grip and launches up to the sky. She flies parallel to Yuzu's quaking, dragon body. She became a beautiful dragon, Serena has to admit. She looks human in aspects, with an elfish face. Her gown cascades down her body and flutters out at her feet. She holds various instruments that she uses as weapons—a trumpet that shoots bullets and a bow that becomes a sharp sword. Serena curves left and right to avoid Yuzu's swings. She plateaus when she can see Yuzu's face and her almond-shaped eyes dripping with bloody tears.

Serena stills her attack. She's seen that face on Yuzu before—the endless fear and exhaustion from day after day of fighting. Yuzu never wanted to fight even when she had a strong sense of justice. She always told them that they should be protecting people, and that even if she wanted to fight, she felt badly for anyone she ever hurt. Now, when Serena gazes into Yuzu's bloody eyes, she sees that same pity.

"I'm sorry," Serena says. She draws a small, silver pistol from within the folds of her uniform. In her quaking hands, Serena holds the pistol up to Yuzu. Yuzu has a hand to her face—and hanging from her wrist is her bracelet with its rose-pink Soul Gem.

From behind her, Serena hears Ruri scream.

Serena closes her eyes and pulls the trigger. She feels the gun jolt in her hands, and she hears Yuzu's pained cries as the bullet hits her Soul Gem, breaking it once more. When Serena tries to open her eyes, her vision grows fuzzy at the edges, and she tumbles to the side, falling through the air. Even though she knows she's falling, she can't bring herself to stop her descent. The last thing she sees though is someone's warm arms wrap around her shoulders and hold her closely.

When she next opens her eyes, Ruri is staring straight at her, cupping her face with her soft hands. Serena blinks, long and slow.

"Serena, oh gosh, I'm so glad you're awake!" Ruri pulls her up for a tight embrace. Serena coughs at the contact, and her head rolls against Ruri's shoulder. From this angle, she can see Rin crouched several feet away, dragging her metal pole through the dirt. On the other side, closer to Ruri, is Ray, standing with her head bowed. Both of them look thoroughly distraught.

Serena remembers what happened though. She doesn't have the gun in her hands anymore, but Serena remembers pulling the trigger on Yuzu and hearing her dragon-body crumble. The barrier must have broken then since they'd defeated the dragon, and now they're here throwing themselves a pity party.

Coughing again, Serena pulls herself away and tumbles to the ground. Ruri gasps and tries to reach for her, but Serena gets to her feet. She feels dizzy and shaky all over, but now that they all know what can happen to puella magi—that puella magi can become  _ dragons— _ Serena wants to make sure that nothing terrible happens to any of them.

The moment Serena pulls herself to her feet, something hard collides with her back, sending her back down to the ground. Rin stands over her, wielding her pole with both hands. "Stay down," she hisses.

"Wha—" Serena swings her head from left to right, and then growls low in her throat. "Why you—"

Rin slams the end of her pole down on her spine once more. Serena chokes on the impact, her ribs banging down on the cement floor. She coughs and coughs, her voice gone croaky. Rin only pushes the pole deeper, her face twisted in pain.

At her side, Ruri gasps in pain. "Rin—Rin, please—Rin, listen—"

"I saw what you did!" Rin screams, driving the end of the pole down once more. "I saw—I saw what you fucking did to her, you monster! That's right—you're the monster! You! You—you did it—"

Serena rolls to the side before Rin can take another jab at her. She hurries to her feet, heart in her throat. If Rin is going to beat her up, Serena has no place here. She needs to conserve her energy for the big fight, and she needs to gather puella magi who want to fight instead of—

A rope snakes around her ankle. She loses her balance and tumbles back to the ground. Another rope appears, this one snaking across her torso and lifting her up into the air. Serena feels like a puppet with its strings controlled by a master. And sure enough, standing before her, Ray holds the ropes in one hand. When she clenches her fist, the ropes tighten around Serena's limbs and torso. She winces at the pain, but Ray has made them too tight to wriggle out of.

"I saw it too ..." Ray says, her voice soft and quiet.

Rin snarls. "I saw it too, bastard, now—"

She swings her pole, but Ray deflects it with another rope, tossing Rin's weapon to the side as if it were a measly stick.

Serena feels her blood run cold. They're ... they're fighting, all of them. This hasn't even happened before in any timeline, and yet—

"Listen," Serena says, "we can't fight, no matter how much we hate—"

"We  _ hate?"  _ Ray says. "We're all the same, all cursed girls with wishes that will never come true. And I want to protect you, I want to help you ... but if our only future is to become dragons ..."

Ray flicks out her wrist, drawing a small, silver pistol—the same weapon Serena shot Yuzu with. Ray holds it between her shaking hands. Ray has used guns before—it's her specialty—but she holds this one as if she's never touched a gun in her life, fingers fumbling with the safety switch. Tears leak from her red eyes and down her porcelain cheeks. Though Ray is the oldest among them, Serena has never seen her look so young and frightened before. She looks like an animal caught in the headlights.

"If our future is to die and become dragons, then our only option is to die! We have no life waiting for us—no wishes to ever come true!"

Ray swings the gun around to Rin and shoots the bullet at her Soul Gem. Like a lifeless doll, Rin's body tumbles to the ground. There's no blood, but the Soul Gem leaks a thick, tar-like substance on the ground, not the beautiful green of her bracelet either, but black ink.

Ruri drops to her knees and sobs as Ray points the weapon at her.

"There's no p-point in living, is there?" Ray says. "I never should have lived in the first place. This isn't—this isn't anything that I wanted. I didn't wish for this life. I'm—"

She brings a hand to her lips, gasping with sobs. Then, with the hand holding the gun, she shoves the gun under her chin, the barrel pointed to her Soul Gem, and she pulls the trigger. Serena hears the crack of the bullet hitting the bracelet, and the snap of Ray's bones as the bullet passes through her head. Then all she hears is Ruri's heaving sobs. Serena doesn't dare open her eyes, even when the ropes disappear from her body and she tumbles to the ground. She lands on the cement, cheek pressed to the cold floor, and she doesn't dare move.

Someone's hand finds hers, wriggling their fingers into Serena's palm. Weakly, Serena holds the hand. She tries to ignore the sound of someone sobbing, or the feeling of stickiness on her body. She tries to pay attention to only the feeling of skin against her hand, and the gentle, hot breath against her cheek.

When Serena at last opens her eyes, Ruri has crawled towards her and stretched out her hand. Her beautiful uniform is wet and dirty from lying on the pavement. Thick tears drip down her red cheeks. She looks like she's cried for days, and despite the heaving sobs, she tries to speak: "I'm sorry."

"It's all right ..." she tries to say.

Ruri shakes her head. "I'm ... I—"

Serena's eyes slide to the bodies around them. Sticking from Ray's body, right by her neck, is an arrow jutting straight out of where her Soul Gem would have been. The bullet hadn't hit Ray's Soul Gem—Ray hadn’t even been aiming at her Soul Gum, unaware that she wouldn’t die even if she put a bullet through her skull.

Ruri's arrow had pieced the gem.

Slowly, Serena pulls herself closer to Ruri, cradling her in her arms. Ruri sobs the closer they get, but she seems to appreciate the cathartic release, even though Serena's heart clenches painfully. Serena doesn't move even when her uniform itches her skin or her stomach churns uncomfortably. She doesn't move until Ruri has cried herself to sleep. Then, as if she were holding a tender infant, Serena picks Ruri up, cradling her to her chest, and carries her home.

_ This isn't how things were meant to turn out. This isn't how we were meant to live or win. _

_ This isn't the reality I wanted. _

* * *

Not even two of them, not even two strong, hardworking puella magi can defeat the Dimensional Dragon. It's no different than fighting Yuzu's dragon, or when Serena watched Ray and Ruri try to defeat the Dimensional Dragon. There's no difference, only a painful reality that they will never be good enough. Serena feels her confidence chip away each time she's batted away like a flea, each time she fails to land a hit.

To her side, Ruri fares no better. More than once she narrowly avoids being stabbed or impaled by the dragon's weapons. She struggles to keep with the fight, but her perseverance is far more admirable than Serena's. Serena can feel it within her bones that this won't be a fight they win, this won't be a timeline where she succeeds.

When she and Ruri are knocked the the ground, bodies cracking on the pavement, Serena doesn't get up. Ruri doesn't move either, her head leaning against Serena's breast. They're so close that they can hold hands and brush arms, and if Serena had the energy, she could lift herself up and gaze into Ruri's fiery eyes.

Serena lifts her arm, examining the dull, black colour of her Soul Gem. She's depleted all her energy.

"You too?" Ruri whispers. She lifts her own arm up, bracelet catching in the few rays of purple sunlight. This dimension is royally screwed, Serena believes. Even if they don't defeat the dragons, there's no way the natural damage both the dragon and the puella magi have caused can ever been corrected. They've killed this world one way or another.

Ruri's own bracelet is just another reminder of that. It's just as black as Serena's, nearly ready to burst and spill over her sweaty face. With her other hand, Ruri brushes her sticky bangs from her eyes and smiles.

"Look at us," she says.

Serena laughs hollowly. "Yeah ... look at us."

Ruri lets out a deep sigh, as if she were letting her soul float up to the heavens instead of remaining trapped on her wrist. "We tried our best, didn't we?"

"We ... did," Serena says. Then, as the thought crosses her mind, she laughs again. "Ruri?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's turn into dragons."

"Hm?"

"You heard me—let's make that terrible truth a reality. Let's turn into dragons and let the world go to hell. Let's give up on being saviours of the universe, as if that's ever what we truly wanted. Let's ... let's end this world, just the two of us, and keep on living."

Ruri pushes her cheek into Serena's breast, humming softly. "Sounds like you've been thinking about this for a while," she says, voice muffled.

"Thought about it right at this second. But ..." Serena lets out a breath. "Maybe we'd change the dimensions for good if we were someone else. Who ever thought that young girls could save the world? Who made up that bullshit? But what if ... what if we were always meant to be monsters, destroying and destroying until all the good and the bad and the in between were gone? What if we just had to re-do this world to back when everything was truly, truly good?"

"You mean like the beginning of time?"

"Yeah ... because I don't think this world can be saved."

Ruri laces her hand in Serena's. "How do you know that?"

"I just ... know." Serena feels her shoulders rise and fall, and she closes her eyes as the memories come back to her—the times she's tried to save this dimension, the times she's had to save Ruri ... does a happy ending truly not exist?

"I think this world isn't worth saving. No one's happy ... no one wants to be here. And now that it's just the two of us, we could become monsters ... and still be together. And we'd restart the world, just the two of us, and keep on living. What do you thi ..."

Something falls into her hand—a small, sphere-shaped gem encased in cold, metal ribbing.

A Grief Seed.

Serena's eyes flicker open.

Ruri sits upright, holding tightly to Serena's hand. She has a warm, deity-like smile on her face. Though her hair is slicked back with sweat and her eyes are droopy, and though it's clear she's cried for weeks and never stopped, she has never looked more beautiful.

"Oops," she says."I had one more left."

Serena's eyes widen. "No ..."

"I'm sorry," Ruri says, her eyes pooling with tears. "I ..."

Ruri's Soul Gem cracks, ink dripping onto her pale wrist. She lifts it up as if examining an injury, her tongue tucked between her teeth. "Oh ..."

As if her energy has been sucked dry, Ruri tumbles overtop of Serena's chest.

"No!" Serena grabs hold of Ruri's shoulders, yanking her back upright. Ruri's head rolls from side her side, her gaze unfocused. Serena cups Ruri's face and tilts it upwards.

"Kurosaki—Kurosaki, look at me—"

Ruri blinks, long and slow. "I'm sorry, Serena," she says. She smiles, and her teeth are flecked with blood. Her throat feels clogged, and Serena panics. Has Ruri sustained internal injuries? Does she need to go to the hospital? Can she even be saved, or ... or will she die, just like every other timeline?

"W-why?" Serena says, holding back her tears. "W-why do you always w-want me to live? Why can't it be you? W-why do I have to keep living through your  _ deaths—" _

"I'm sorry," Ruri says. She coughs, splattering her uniform with blood. "I'm sorry ... for everything."

Serena shakes her head, tears spilling from her eyes. "No, no—don't make me feel worse—don't make me feel—"

Ruri's hand reaches up and touches Serena's cheek.

Serena holds her tongue.

"Serena," Ruri says, "you're from the future ... or the past ... right?"

"What—what are you even saying—"

"You said ... that you have seen me die before." Ruri pauses, taking a weak, gurgling breath of air. "You've said it before, that you can go back in time and stop these terrible things from happening. You said it before ... that you can change history so that it ends differently. That's why I want you to live. Please. And ... and do me a favour."

Ruri nestles her head into the crook of Serena's arm, lifting her head so that her tears shine in her bright eyes. "Please, Serena, save me from being stupid. Stop me from being tricked by Zarc. If you can do anything, please ... please let me live."

Serena's teeth sink into her lip. She swallows back sob after sob. "I—I promise—"

Ruri smiles up at her. "I couldn't ask for anything better."

"There's a timeline out there ... where we live. There's a timeline where we  _ both  _ live." Serena presses her hand over Ruri's leaning into the touch. "No matter how many times I have to redo this time, I will  _ never  _ stop. I'll save you. I promise."

"You're ... the best." Carefully, Ruri slips off her bracelet and holds it in her palm. She brings both hands up, and holds the bracelet out as if she were offering a present to Serena. "I have one more request ..."

Serena stiffens. "Please ... don't make me ..."

Ruri shakes her head. "I'll see you again and again, won't I? I'll always be with you. I'll always be your friend."

"B-but ..."

"So please, let me go."

From within her uniform, Serena pulls out her silver handgun. She holds it out before her, both hands around the handle, finger stilling on the trigger. Her hands won't stop shaking, and she worries that she might miss and shoot Ruri's body instead. But Ruri hands don't even move, remaining firm as they hold her dripping soul.

"Ruri ..." Serena mumbles. "I'm ... sorry ..."

Ruri's smile grows, and the sun catches on her beautiful face. "Serena, you called me by my name."

Serena closes her eyes, finger on the trigger.

"I'm so ... happy."

She pulls the trigger.

 

_ I won't depend on anyone anymore. _

_ I won't let anyone decide my fate for me, or take my fate into their own hands, because it's not just me I have to save, but Ruri too. I can't let anyone else help me, or else they'll only make things worse. i can't get anyone else involved in this mess. _

_ I can't let Ruri fight. She can't become a puella magi or else she will die. I can't let her friends coerce her into becoming a puella magi either, but I can't kill the friends or else Ruri will fall into despair and make a wish to save them. No matter what I do, I can't let Ruri know about this mess. _

_ And yet ... it's hopeless. In every timeline, Ray is here. In every timeline, Yuzu is here too, and Rin, and both of them make such a mess of each other and themselves that it ultimately hurts Ruri. I can't save either of them, and so I can't save Ruri ... _

_ I can't let anyone else fight. I need to be better, stronger than I ever was. I need a reality where only I matter, where only I can fight, because in that reality Ruri will have no one to protect, no one to save, and she'll live. She won't make a contract if her friends aren't involved. She won't save Yuzu, and Yuzu won't save Rin. _

_ On the night the Dimensional Dragon attacks, I will be the only one to fight. _

* * *

And yet, on the day of the fight, when Serena looks to the side, she sees Ruri with tears in her eyes, signing her soul away to Zarc.

_ Kurosaki Ruri, do you want to change destiny? _

Serena charges through the sky, catapulting towards Zarc. She'll put a million bullets through that little dragon before he dares screw up the only timeline Serena has ever had a chance in. This ... this was supposed to be the one where she could save Ruri. This was supposed to be the timeline where they lived.

"Ruri, stop—don't listen to what he's saying,  _ please!" _

_ You can change everything in this world. _

Someone snaps onto Serena's ankle and tugs her back. More and more vines wrap around her limbs, pulling her back towards the Dimensional Dragon. Serena struggles against them, screaming out to Ruri until her vocal cords burst.

"Please, please no, Ruri—don't listen to anything he does, don't do it!"

_ You have the power to make that happen. _

Serena hears it, the hopeful note in Ruri's angelic voice: "Really?"

It feels worse than any pain she's felt before. The vines tighten around her body and push her to the ground. When Serena tries to raise her head, the vines choke her, fastening her to the ground. In this position though, Serena can still see Ruri and Zarc. She can see the contract, the glimmer of hope in Ruri's eyes, the passion to do good in every timeline that ultimately kills her.

_ Of course,  _ Zarc tells her, his green eyes glowing with such pride and malice,  _ that's why you should form a contract with me and become a puella magi. _

It feels like her own Soul Gem could burst. Serena lifts her head and wails to the sky. She curses every deity under the sun and moon for making such terrible, horrible dimensions full of selfish people. She curses herself for ever making a contract, for ever getting Ruri involved in this reality. She never deserved this terrible fate. She never deserved to die—to be killed and reborn again and again, never remembering a single detail of her previous lives.

When the vines clear from around her body, and Serena can open her eyes, she finds herself in a vastly different reality. The sky is a soft purple and dotted with a yellow sun. There isn't a building or bridge in sight. In fact, the dimension looks empty, as if it's been cleared of its messiness and problems and reborn. Serena glances from side to side, and then stares at Zarc as if he might open his mouth and give her answer to what has gone wrong.

But Zarc just sits as he normally does, tail over his toes, gazing ahead at the empty world.

"What ... happened?" Serena says at last.

Zarc tilts his head towards her. "Hm?"

"This," Serena says, jutting out her chin. "What'd you do this time?"

"Not me," Zarc singsongs, "but Ruri."

"Ru ..."

Zarc nods his head. "She was amazing after she transformed—well, actually she was amazing both when she made the contract and was born, and when she became a dragon and died. I already knew she'd become the strongest puella magi, but even I had no idea that she'd defeat the Dimensional Dragon in one hit. Her power is off the charts. It's incredible that even you didn't realise her potential."

"She never wanted that ..."

"Well, you don't always get what you want."

Serena fists her hands in her skirt. She understand now—this is a world that Ruri destroyed, or saved depending on how she wants to imagine it. This is a world free of pain and suffering, free of anything, in fact.

"I guess I kinda knew this would happen though."

Serena looks over her shoulder, eyes smoldering.

Zarc's grin only widens. "As the strongest puella magi, she defeated her greatest enemy. Some humans might call that destiny or fate. Whatever the case may be, Miss Ruri did what she was meant to do. And then, the grief of killing someone and destroying the dimensions drove her to such pain that she became the evilest dragon. It was inevitable. When she realised what she had become, and what she had done, her Soul Gem consumed itself."

Standing, Zarc begins to head backwards. There's nothing in sight, but he still wanders, calling over his shoulder, "Well, we Entertainers have had enough fun for today and earned enough energy too. Whatever this mess is is for someone else to clean up." A pause. "You still going to fight, Miss Serena? Do you even have a chance at saving Kurosaki Ruri now that you know her fate is tied?"

Serena holds up her shield, the gears clinking together. The machine whirs to life.

"I'll never give up."

_ No matter how many times I repeat this life of mine, no matter how many times I meet her, I will never give up. I made a promise I can't break and I wish I can't undo. If it's for you, my love, I'm fine with being trapped in this loop forever.  _


	37. Thirty-Seven

"How many times has it been now ... hm?"

Serena tries not to meet Zarc's gaze. They're at Ray's house, though it's been abandoned for a week and no one has bothered to come and check on the tenant. Serena thought it would be a safe place to stay for the night, but then Zarc found her and climbed all over her plans, telling her that she won't ever be able to do this and that she keeps failing at this.

"Do you even remember how many times it's been?" Zarc says. "I sure don't remember every time you've rewound time trying to save her."

Serena ... does, but she won't tell Zarc that. She has that number in her memory though, always at the corner of her mind. It's a reminder that she has tried time and time again to chance destiny and save Ruri, with a different universe with just a slightly different change, and each time the result has always been the same.

"You're a time traveller, aren't you?" Zarc's grin widens.

Serena looks away. Down by Zarc's feet are the plans to defeat the Dimensional Dragon, the same papers she showed Rin. Now that Rin is gone, it'll just be Serena fighting the dragon. She already knows the result of this attempt; this won't be the first time she fights the Dimensional Dragon by herself, nor will it be the last. Sure, she has different weapons, but what difference does it  _ truly  _ make?

"Say, Serena," Zarc says, tapping his toes on the edge of the table, "have you always done the same thing? Searching for a dimension where you get the happy ending you want."

Serena's hands ball into fists. "Go away," she mutters.

"You've answered a question of  _ mine  _ this time," Zarc says. "Not your words, but your existence. You see, I've always wondered why Kurosaki Ruri—why her? Do you know?"

Serena raises an eyebrow. "Because you're a sick fuck?"

"That sounds like something Miss Rin might say, but no. I'll tell you a secret though, one I bet you've never heard before. Do you know how girls are chosen to become puella magi? Well, their powers depend on how heavily they are burdened by fate; in essence, how important they are to the future of the world. For example, queens and saviours of the universe become wonderful puella magi. It's not your wish that matters, but how your life was meant to play out.

"But what has always baffled me in every timeline is why  _ Ruri  _ was important. What importance does she have? When I say that I can see the potential of puella magi, I don't mean some airy idea of how strong a girl can become. No, what I see are threads of fate wrapped around the necks of young girls, and when I saw Kurosaki Ruri, there was a thread over every inch of her body."

Serena swallows.

"Can you imagine that, Serena? Ruri has never led a magical, fantastical life. She's no one special—just a student with a brother and some friends, and maybe a bit of a caring, compassionate personality. But her life has been threaded by fate over and over again, and it never made sense until now why she is so important. Because you see, Serena, Kurosaki Ruri was never important, but time and time again, her life has been spared and nourished."

"What ..."

Zarc flaps out his wings, casting long, creeping shadows along the walls of Ray's home. "Hey Serena, could it be that Ruri became such a powerful puella magi because you repeated time over and over again?"

"What are you even ... saying?"

"I'm saying," Zarc says, creeping forward on his small, stubby legs, "that you are the cause of Ruri's potential. She was never more than a single, pointless girl that made a wish, but it was  _ your  _ wish that got her in such trouble. You've rolled back time hundreds, no  _ thousands,  _ of times for one single reason: to save Ruri. By repeating the same time frame for the same reason and same purpose, you've created these overlapping realities all centering around Ruri. That's what I see when I look at Ruri: her hundreds of fates, all ending with her death."

Serena sits forward; her mind feels like it could burst from how fast it's spinning. "Wait—but then that means—"

"A good thing?" Zarc laughs. "Not a chance in hell. In fact, you've cursed Ruri."

Her heart flinches as if it's been burnt.

"If there are thousands of threads of fate from parallel universes that were never meant to interact, all centering on Ruri for this one month, then it makes sense why she has become so powerful. Your wish to redo your first meeting, and Ruri's desire to protect the dimensions, have come together. Ruri has become a saviour of the universe in every single timeline—the ultimate puella magi, if you will. That means that no matter what timeline you live in, no matter what changes you make, Ruri will always make the same choice.

"It wasn't Ruri's wish that made her powerful. You see, she only became powerful because of everything  _ you  _ have done, Serena; every time you have turned back time, you have only made Ruri stronger. You've trapped yourself in an endless, pointless loop with a singular conclusion. In the end, you made Ruri into what she is today: the strongest puella magi, and later on, the strongest dragon."

"No ..."

"Congratulations, Serena." Zarc taps his tail on the table, making a slow, steady beat. "You've locked yourself in a loop that will never end. So long as you keep saving Ruri, you will only make her stronger and deadlier. Where there is hope, despair follows—"

_ "No!"  _ Serena grabs at her hair, yanking it from its down-do. "No—no, I couldn't have—she can't be—"

"I'm surprised you lasted for so long," Zarc continues. "But you see, you won't ever change her fate now that you've ruined it. Good luck in this timeline, Serena ... and maybe even the next one."

With a creeping smile, Zarc leaps off the table and bounds towards the window. He disappears into thin air, leaving Serena in the large, lonely apartment. Serena pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on them. She wishes she could close her eyes and sleep, but the events of every timeline play on loop in her mind. How can it be like that ...? How can she never, ever win?

* * *

Ruri feels like her soul could very well go to heaven now. She feels like she could float up to the sky and never descend, and perhaps no one would even realise she was gone in the first place. Each breath she takes hurts. Every move, every eye blink, every sigh drains her. She hasn't even left her bed today, too tired. If she put her feet on the ground, she'd probably fall anyways.

Over her head, hanging off the headboard, is Zarc. Ruri thinks he looks a bit guilty today, but she's in no mood to talk or even think. Her entire being hurts.

"Are you sad because your friends died?" Zarc says, as if this is news to him, as if he never thought humans could grieve over the deaths of their closest friends.

Ruri swallows a pit in her throat. She's cried so much that she's certain her tear ducts have dried up, though she surprises herself when she feels her eyes grow wet and sticky once more.

"It's to be expected, you know? Their deaths. Puella magi die all the time, Ruri. They are warriors protecting the dimensions. They laid their lives down for the sake of their wishes."

Ruri sniffles, bringing a hand up to rub at her eyes.

"I know death really seems to get humans down, no matter how insignificant, but entertain me for a second and listen: everyone dies. Everyone. From the largest mammal to the smallest insect, everything and everyone dies. Now, do you feel badly when you learn that bugs have died, or that a group of cattle has died?"

Ruri shakes her head.

Zarc leans closer, bearing down on her with his deep, soulless eyes. "Why?"

"Because ..." Ruri clenches her heart, swallowing a pit in her throat. "Because ... those are my friends ... and I care about them."

"That's not what I care about though," Zarc says. He swings his tail down and brushes it underneath her eyes. "You humans all get worked up over a couple lives, when the greater thing is to remember that there are many, many more humans that you are saving. For example, you humans raise animals for slaughter. You have for generations, and most of you don't feel bad. Well ... we are raising girls for—"

Ruri's heart seizes up. "You—"

"You knew this all along," Zarc says, dismissing her protest with a flick of his tail. "But now I've got you listening closely, don't I? Remember, we have lived for as long as humans have, and we have interacted with your species since the beginning of time. We see the world as an audience, bringing smiles to a larger population. It doesn't matter if a few people aren't smiling, so long as when we look at the world we can see it glowing.

"Since the beginning of time, we have made contracts with young girls. We have made their wishes come true, leading them to make wonderful discoveries and inventions—and then they have served us, a true, symbiotic relationship. Humans like things to be equal, don't they? Well, I'd reckon the contracts between us and puella magi are equal—"

"No—"

"Ah, ah,  _ ah,"  _ Zarc says, slapping her lips closed. He stretches over the headboard, dangling by her face. "You think I'm lying, but I know no such thing. Yes, those girls' lives end in despair, but that's what makes it equal. Where there is hope, despair follows; in other words, it begins with a wish and ends with a curse. For as long as humans have existed, the cycle of puella magi has continued. You only think this is horrible because it has gone on for so long without your knowing."

Ruri shakes her head, tears dripping down her cheeks. She can't even imagine what it must have been like—all those girls she's learnt about in her history books, and those girls she's had in her classes. How many of them have fought and died for their wishes? How many of them have been lost in time?

"You betrayed them ... tricked them ..."

"Again with the betrayal." Zarc rocks himself from side to side, the thin fibers of his wings catching in the moonlight. "You think so poorly of the species that has furthered humanity. No, puella magis were betrayed by their own selfish desires. You've seen what happens to puella magi who wish to extend their own lifespans and still end up dying. You've seen what happens to puella magis who make wishes for others and then witness the jealousy of that conclusion. What you've witnessed is not a curse brought about by us, but by selfish human desire."

"They—they didn't know though—"

"And that's our fault?" Zarc chuckles. "Humans are greedy and unreasonable, and their wishes reflect their darkest, grossest desires—to live longer, to love, to be useful, to be special. When these wishes come true, reality is distorted. It's only natural that disaster follows those who wish unreasonably."

"But—"

"If you consider that to be betrayal, Kurosaki Ruri, then wishes shouldn't be made in the first place. No one makes a wish without an ulterior motive. As I said, humans are unfathomably greedy."

Ruri feels like her heart could rend in two. She rolls herself away, but any more movement seems impossible. She feels chained to this itchy, suffocating bed. She feels like she can't escape what has happened, and that no matter what she does, reality will play out in the most horrible, unforgiving way. Ruri feels like she's lost a grip on her own life, as if someone has taken the reins from her infantile hands and drove her life into the darkest ditch.

"It's not foolish though."

Ruri sniffles into her palm.

"It's not foolish to wish ... it's only foolish to think you have any luck at changing fate. All the tears you've shed, all the pain you've felt—it's not foolish, Ruri. No, that will guide you to make a choice—"

With a muffled scream, Ruri flings herself off the bed, tumbling to the carpet with a groan. She rests on her hands and knees, breathing harshly through her nose and mouth. Her body feels like it's on fire, and with another suppressed scream, she gets to her feet.

If anything, this only seems to make Zarc happier. "See, it fuels you—"

"No!" Ruri stands firm, her toes digging into the carpet. "No, h-how—how can you say such things?" She balls her hands in fists, tears and snot streaming down her face. "How can you say that, y-you monster?"

Zarc tilts his head to the side. "What has got you so upset, Ruri? I didn't even think you could get out of bed."

"Do you—do you feel nothing even after watching those girls die? I know ... you knew they were going to die. When you made Miss Ray and Yuzu's contracts, and even Rin's, you must have know their fates. You signed away their lives knowing exactly what they would become ... Have you ever, Zarc, tried to understand the suffering of puella magi, of those girls you tricked?"

Zarc shakes his head. "Never."

Ruri feels her throat close up.

"Never," Zarc repeats. "If we could, then we would have never harvested human emotions. It is because we don't care that we can use puella magi."

It feels like the final knife into her heart. Ruri brings a hand to her mouth, swallowing back sob after sob. Then she turns and dashes to the door, throwing it open and running down the hallway. Her feet smack on the ground, and behind her she hears Shun's bedroom door open and him blearily call out to her, "You there?" Ruri doesn't stop running though, She slips on the first pair of shoes she sees—Shun's in fact—and then heads out the door.

Late at night, the choking, artificial lights guide her down the wet pavement. Ruri walks with her head bowed and her arms tight around her chest. She doesn't look around, her mind too frazzled to even begin to notice how her shadow disappears into the darkness, or how the moon seems to follow her no matter where she tries to hide. From time to time, Ruri sees eyes in the bushes—green eyes, watching her no matter where she walks. She tries to run away from it, but she never finds herself in a safe place.

She doesn't even know where to walk to. She heads up and down unfamiliar roads, letting her weary body guide her. At times, she wishes she could head to Yuzu's place, but her heart clenches painfully when she imagines having to face Yuzu's father.

Eventually, Ruri heads to Ray's place. She knows it'll be empty, and she knows that she shouldn't be treading in anyone else's property, but just for tonight she wants to rest her body in a place that feels safe. When she was with Ray, it always felt safe. Ruri never thought she would be in danger when she was with Ray, even when they were in the barrier and the dragon attacked them.

However, when Ruri places her hand on the door handle, she stills. She can hear someone inside. Ruri's heart races—has someone new already moved in? Have Ray's belongings been cleared out?

Just as Ruri pulls her hand away the door swings inwards. Standing in the doorway is Serena. She's still in her school uniform, as opposed to Ruri who flushes scarlet from being in her pyjamas. Serena doesn't say anything for a minute, just raises an eyebrow at Ruri's sorry state.

Then: "You coming in?"

Ruri nods. She rubs her hands under her eyes as she enters, and kicks off Shun's too big work shoes. Serena raises an eyebrow at those too, but she doesn't say anything. She leads Ruri into the apartment and to where Ruri remembers drinking tea with Ray and Yuzu on the first night they met. There's no tea out tonight; instead, around the coffee table are dozens of maps and papers. As Ruri sits down, she glances over the places. These are maps of the city, and the notes detail specific locations and buildings.

Ruri draws her fingers over the maps, snaking it up and down the river.

"Serena ... is this about the Dimensional Dragon?"

Serena hesitates.

"I heard about it ... from Rin. She said you two had been preparing for it."

"And?" Serena hisses the words out from between her clenched teeth.

Ruri ducks her head. "Rin didn't tell me much about it, sorry. It seemed like a personal matter. But now ..." Ruri lifts her head, just enough so that she can see the maps and plans. It looks like hours upon hours of work to make these plans. She wonders where Serena got the information from?

"Is the entire city going to be in danger?" Ruri asks. "The Dimensional Dragon ... Rin said it was like a super-dragon."

Serena taps her fingers to a stack of papers; the topmost paper is a hasty, scribbled sketch of a large creature. "The Dimensional Dragon doesn't exist in a barrier. Humans won't be able to see it, and at times it'll feel like it's existing within its own barrier ... but that's just when it destroys enough of the world. It's powerful."

"I ... see." Ruri lifts several of the sheets, peering at the notes. "But not impossible to defeat?"

Serena doesn't answer for a moment. "Humans will just think it's a tornado or a tsunami threatening the city, so you should tell your brother to evacuate when it arrives. Though he won't know it's a dragon, it will still cause damage."

"But still ..." Ruri folds her hands together. "Serena, you're the only puella magi left who can defeat the Dimensional Dragon, right? So that means—"

"I'll be fine by myself."

Ruri stumbles. "W-what?" She glances back down at the dragon, and then at the attack plans. "But what about—"

"About Rin? I never needed her help in the first place. I just knew that if I didn't let her join in that she'd only cause trouble for me, so I told her she could fight. I didn't want her dragging me down and fighting  _ me  _ over the Dimensional Dragon. Who cares if she dies in that fight anyways?"

Somewhere deep in Ruri's heart, she thinks Serena is lying. She can't bring herself to say the words though, not when Serena has put so much work into her plans. It feels horrible to squash Serena's hope when it's obvious she's been trying so hard.

"I'm fully capable of defeating it by myself," Serena says, her voice strong and rich.

Ruri wishes she could believe such a tone. She sinks her teeth into her lip, tears beginning to sting in her eyes. When they begin to fall, she can barely see Serena on the other side of the table. She holds her gaze though for as long as she can, until she hears Serena gasp softly.

"I'm ... sorry," Ruri says. She rubs at her face, trying to will the tears away. This is the last place she wants to cry, and the last person she wants to cry before, but the more she rubs the tears away, the quicker they fall onto her damp, dirty sleeves. "I'm sorry, Serena. I w-want to believe you and everything you're saying, and I don't want to c-call you a liar, and I want to believe that everything will work out like it's supposed to, but there's a painful tear in my heart that says that this won't be OK, that  _ you  _ won't be OK, and that you're still going to go through with this plan even if it costs you—"

Ruri feels arms around her shoulders and a chest to press her face into, and she leans into it before her mind even registers what she's doing.

Then Ruri realises what she's doing, who's holding her, and all the butterflies in her stomach and the pains in her heart disappear as the arms tighten around her and draw her closer.

"I want to tell you how I feel too ... how I truly, truly feel, but ..." Serena's shaky breath brushes against her cheek. "But there's no way I can, and no way that you'll believe me."

Ruri shakes her head. "I will—I will, I promise, Serena—"

Serena's shoulders quake with muted sobs. Ruri can feel her shirt growing wet, though she supposes she's already soaked Serena's shirt in tears too.

"I ... I don't live in this place, in this time with you."

"Huh?"

Serena pushes her face further into Ruri's shoulder, taking great, heaving breaths. Ruri runs her hands up and down Serena's back, but every little gesture only seems to make Serena more overwhelmed.

"I ... came from the future," Serena says at last. "I lived a long, long time ago, in a past that you'll never, ever remember ... but you were there; you've always been there, Kurosaki."

"I ... have?"

Serena nods her head. "I've met you countless times, living through our first days at school together. I've met you over and over again, in more ways than you can possibly imagine, and yet in every single timeline you've died before my eyes. I have yet to save you. And yet ... how can I? How can I save your life if I've failed so, so often?"

"I don't understand," Ruri says. Her heart hammers in her chest. Serena must be able to hear its frantic beating, or feel it against her own thumping chest. But Serena doesn't stop speaking, her words slurring together much in the same way Ruri does when she feels anxious and overwhelmed.

"All this time, I've been searching for a way to save you. I've tried—I promise, I've tried to save you. I've exhausted myself protecting you, stopping you from making a contract, pushing you away from anyone who would ever harm you. I swear I've made every change in this timeline that I can, but still—but still you can't live. I'm—I'm sorry—" Serena lifts her face, her bangs shadowing her wet eyes. "This must not make any sense to you, and I must be creeping you out ...

"But ... by this point, I don't think it matters if I tell you or not. It won't make any difference anyways—you'll forget it sooner or later."

"I won't," Ruri says, shaking her head. "I'll hold onto your words—"

Serena lets out a choked laugh. "But you already have. The more I repeat all this—the more I go back in time to prevent your death—the greater the disparity in our timelines become. I've ... fucked it all up, Kurosaki. Everything. It's all fucked because I've meddled so much with time and fate that I've only made things worse."

Ruri feels her arms begin to shake. "No … no ..." She wants to believe Serena is being overdramatic, but her words sound too sincere.

"It's true—we've grown so far apart. Time is only changing because your reality is becoming so different from mine. Soon, you won't even exist in the same world as me. Someday ... someday I may never be able to rewind time back so that I can save you. I don't even think my words have been reaching you ... or can reach you—"

"I'm listening," Ruri says. She pulls Serena closer, noting the harsh flinch from the contact. "I'm listening, please—"

"Do you know ..." Serena sniffles. "Do you want to know what my wish was?"

Ruri feels her blood run cold. A puella magi's wish is the most private, personal aspect of their existence. And yet, Ruri finds herself wanting to know what has kept Serena going for so long.

She nods her head.

"'Save Ruri.' That was my wish."

Ruri stiffens.

"I made a wish to redo my first meeting with you and prevent your ultimate death. I made a contract in the hopes that I could save you from making a mistake and becoming a puella magi. I wanted ... I wanted to protect you, more than anything else, after you protected me. So don't you see why I never wanted you to make a contract, why everything rests on you not making a contract?"

"But—but Serena—"

"Please." Serena's words have never sounded so empty and hopeless. "I exist in this timeline only to save you. I ... made a wish that I hope will someday come true. And—and it's all right if you don't believe me, or if my words can't reach you, but please ... please, I beg of you, don't make a contract. Please let me protect you, just this once."

Ruri's eyes leak hot tears down her feverish cheeks. Her head spins in a million directions, and she tries to centre herself by focusing on the arms wrapped around her body.

"Please," Serena whispers into her ear, "let me protect you after all you have done for me."


	38. Thirty-Eight

_ At 07:00, an evacuation order was issued due to the sudden abnormal changes in weather. _

Serena stands at the top of the building, facing the river. She's seen this sight a million times before, and it always sends a shiver down her spine. She keeps glancing over her shoulder, hoping to never see the familiar twirl of dark purple hair blowing in the wind, nor the terrible glimmer of black scales. Serena hopes that Ruri is far, far away from here, at the evacuation site with her brother.

Serena hopes. She hopes with all her heart that this time things will be different, that this time she can stop Ruri from throwing her life away. This loop has gone on for far too long, and Serena knows that she only has so much strength left to keep going and hoping that the result will be different. Her life feels meaningless and any hope of saving Ruri has surely perished. But maybe, just maybe, something different will happen.

Stretching out her arm, Serena unlocks the power within her bracelet. She feels the magic ripple under her skin, and her simple clothes transform into a beautiful red gown, black tights clinging to her strong legs. When Serena leaps through the sky, the icy wind nips at her bare skin and yanks at her hair fastened high in one, singular ponytail with a yellow ribbon.

In the distance, Serena sees the Dimensional Dragon. Its shape changes with every second, transforming first into a blob, than a woman, than a lizard; with each step it takes, its entire body warps around the water and buildings. It looks stronger and more fearsome than it ever has, and Serena swallows thickly at the sight of it in the water.

_ Do I truly stand a chance?  _ she thinks. Sure, Serena might be able to save Ruri, but never before has she been able to fight the Dimensional Dragon on her own. Its sheer strength overwhelms any puella magi. And yet Serena shakes the worrisome thoughts from her mind and plows on, arcing through the sky. She raises her weapons and fires shots between the folds of the dragon's neck—just before the bullets hit, the dragon transforms into a turtle with a thick shell, and the bullets bounce off its hard body.

Serena curses and tries again. She leaps off the side of a building, stretching out her body, and this time shoots a round of ammunition into the dragon's eye. Once again, the dragon transforms, this time into a monstrosity with a long neck that suddenly shoots out at Serena. She dashes to the side to avoid being clipped by its mouth, and tumbles into the side of the building. White-hot pain flashes across her side; she slips down the side of the building, scratching her bare palms and cheek.

But she doesn't give up for long. Catching her foot on a slab of concrete, Serena pushes off and flies through the sky. With a hoarse battle cry, she charges at the dragon. A sharp spear materialises in her hand, and she throws it at the dragon's exposed chest. It transforms, but Serena's spear still catches in the dragon's skin.

Direct hit.

The dragon whines and groans, throwing its body from side to side. It bangs into large apartment buildings, knocking away entire apartment complexes with its mighty paws and tail. Serena leaps back to avoid being caught in its stumbles, but then, as the dragon tries to right itself, she launches another attack. With the dragon caught trying to stay upright, Serena nails it again and again with her gun, straight into the eyes. She sees the inky blood splatter into the dark sea.

For just a fleeting moment, Serena feels like she's won. As she soars through the dark sky, she sees a glimmering hope. But then, as she charges, something  _ else  _ leaps out of the dragon, a shadowy figure. It looks like a human risen from tar, their body dripping into the sea. But something else stands out to Serena—ribbons.

Ribbons wrap around her arms and legs, stretching Serena out by her limbs. She screams in pain.

Overhead, the inky figure floats, chortling like a schoolgirl. It's then Serena spots the similarities—not just a school girl but  _ Ray.  _ It's unmistakably Ray's ribbons, and the figure looks more and more like her too, ponytails whipping back and forth. But then ...

Serena swallows.

"Ray—Ray, what—"

The figure flicks out their wrist, drawing a hunting rifle.

Serena's blood runs cold.

"No ... no, Ray—" She wriggles, yanking at the ribbon bindings, but she's stretched over the sea, trapped, with Ray floating above her, weapon drawn. Time seems to slow down, and Serena bites her lip so hard it bleeds.

Then: "Time stop!" Serena feels the world glitch and shift, and she snaps herself out of the bindings. She runs across the inky ribbons as if they are a road to safety, and when she's a safe enough distance, she calls out again, "Time start!"

The world glitches once more. Serena stands on the edge of the ribbon, holding her shotgun in both hands. Her hands shake as she tries to aim it at Ray ... at the figure that looks like Ray, but can't be, because Ray is dead, her body eaten alive by another dragon, and so even if Ray was reborn as a dragon she can't be the Dimensional Dragon—

Serena fires a bullet at Ray's form. She explodes, inky blood splattering everywhere; some it manages to hit Serena in the face, and it feels like acid on her skin.

Then the blood comes back together, reforming another abomination that looks like Ray, and the figure returns to fight. Serena leaps out of the way from an oncoming attack of ribbons, narrowly avoiding being trapped and strung up once more. Serena hops from building to building, feeling the ribbons right at her heels. She knows Ray is following her, leading her around until the dragon can capture her.

But ...

But Serena has to keep fighting. She has to keep killing, no matter how dangerous it might seem, no matter how terrible it feels. For once, she might have a chance. For once, she may be able to stop this endless, painful loop and save Ruri.

* * *

Ruri hasn't left her house yet. The evacuation order has been issued, but Shun has been packing their belongings for the past twenty minutes. Ruri wants to help him too, but a deep, dark feeling in her gut tells her that this isn't some freak weather—this is the force of the Dimensional Dragon.

_ Serena ... has fought this before. She's fought again and again—then what ... makes this time different? How will she win? _

"Do you have faith in your friends, Kurosaki Ruri?"

Ruri jumps at the voice, but she doesn't turn her head; she doesn't need to see Zarc sitting so primly at the foot of her bed with his leering smile. Ruri doesn't feel any better knowing that he's around for this. In fact, Ruri wishes he weren't around so she wouldn't have to think about longer about what is going on, but unless she runs out the door and into the streets, Ruri can't escape Zarc or his words.

"I ... do."

"You sound convincing."

Ruri winces.

"At this point in time," Zarc says, his voice getting louder, coming closer to her, "there's nothing I can say to sway your mind one way or another. You already know the truth. But ..." he touches his nose to her wrist, right where her bracelet would be. "I wonder how far Saotome Serena can get with her own faith and hope."

Ruri glances out the window. It looks like a true storm, even from the distance away from the bridge and river. Thick, angry clouds roll through the sky, rumbling like beasts. Trees have been stripped off their branches; some of them have even been torn from the ground from the fierce winds. While the buildings in Maiami City are built to withstand high winds and tsunamis, from time to time Ruri still feels her house creak and groan on its hinges and foundation.

The lights are all off in the city too. It looks hopeless out there, and still ...

And still Serena fights. Ruri can't see her, but she can picture Serena standing at the bridge, weapons at the ready. Serena would tear open the sky itself and rain hell on anyone who would oppose her. And though that image is fearsome and horrifying, Ruri wonders how long Serena will last again the strongest dragon in existence.

"What will happen ...?" Ruri asks, pressing her hand to the cold glass of her window.

"To Serena, or to the world?" Zarc lets out a breath. "Well, probably what has already happened time and time again: the world will perish, the dragon will win ... and Serena will start the loop over again. She'll turn back time once more, back to when she thought she still had a chance."

Ruri's hands slips down the glass. "Again?"

"She'll restart this meaningless chain of events, hoping that she can make a different change that will bring about a different outcome. Again and again, she'll fight, thinking she's learnt from her past mistakes. She's terribly wrong. Her greatest mistake was making a wish for the sake of someone else. She's trapped herself and everyone else in an endless, fruitless spiral."

The more Zarc speaks, the more Ruri's heart rends in two. She wants to reach out and stop all of this—all of this pain and hopelessness, but then it's because of her that this is happening in the first place. It's because she was once a puella magi that Serena made her own wish to save her.

"You know," Zarc says, "she can't stop this loop. Giving up will ruin her."

He says it as if he were commenting on the weather.

Ruri swallows. "What ... do you mean?"

"You know how puella magi's Soul Gems become Grief Seeds, right? Well, the moment that Serena gives up—the moment she realises how useless this loop is, that she will never save you or change anything about this reality—is the moment her own Soul Gem will become a Grief Seed. She'll fall into such a despair because of her hopeless battle. And then in the end, she'll change nothing.

"So she must keep fighting, must keep repeating her mistakes unless she wants to give in. I admire her persistence. But it's terribly unfortunate what she's done. She made a terrible wish that has screwed her over for centuries in the past and centuries to come. She knows that the moment she gives up is the moment she's lost, and so all she can do is keep fighting and trying."

Tears begin to leak from Ruri's eyes. She imagines Serena, fighting over and over again, never able to win or escape.

"And she can't be saved," Zarc says, "because if anyone could help her it would be you, Kurosaki Ruri, the very reason why she is fighting in the first place."

Ruri's voice cracks with a sob. She brings a hand to her mouth, breathing harshly. She lets the sob build and build, burning her lungs, until at last she drops her hand down and lets it out a long, steady breath. The tears have stilled in her crystal eyes, and slowly she unwinds her emotions from her body. Ruri doesn't look back at Zarc as she rolls off the bed and heads out her bedroom door. In the hallway, Shun is pacing to and fro, packing together everything they might ever need or want. He has photo albums with him, baby photos of him and Ruri; family shots when their parents were alive too.

Ruri brushes past him and heads towards the door. She only makes it to the genkan when Shun's hand lands on her shoulder, tugging her back.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I—"

In only the faint candlelight of the house, Shun's face is ghostly pale. He lips has been bitten so many times it's cracked and bled, and there are old bloodstains around his chin. His eyes look haunted, as if he hadn't slept well the night before, or even hasn't slept well in the past month.

"Where are you going?"

Ruri glances to the door. "I need ... to go."

"Are you hiding something from me?"

Ruri shakes her head.

"That's a lie." Shun's grip tightens, not painfully so, but strong and unrelenting. "You are—you're keeping secrets."

Ruri wishes more than anything Shun would let her go. She hasn't spoken to her brother in so long, so she should want to talk to him, but there is so much she can't say that it twists her tongue.

"Can you not tell me?"

Ruri shakes her head.

"Can you tell me anything?" With a sigh, Shun presses his forehead to the wall, eyes sliding closed. "Ruri, you've been out of this house for like a month—it's like I haven't even seen you in a year. It feels like that, at least. And I know you're grown up and you have friends, but if something's going on, damn it, you can  _ tell me.  _ Tell me, and I can help you."

Ruri shakes her head once more. "I'm ... sorry."

"Don't be—just tell me the truth. Tell me ..." Shun swallows. "Tell me what you can."

"My ..." Ruri swallows the pit in her throat. "My friend is out there, in the storm, and she needs me."

Shun's eyes flick open, and he stares at her like she's grown a second head. "Your friend? Ruri, there are search and rescue teams, and the fire department, and—"

"It's ... different."

"How can it be different?"

"It can." Ruri rests her hand atop her brother's, and she slowly pulls his fingers away. "It's different."

To her surprise, Shun's grip tightens around her arm. His face rips into a snarl, and he pulls her back, away from the door. "Ruri!"

She stiffens.

"Ruri, listen to yourself—listen to me. Do you—do you really think so? Are you out of your mind? I'm—I'm trying to understand you and what's going on, but when you say shit like that it's scary."

"I'm sorry—"

"Then stay in this house, out of danger."

Ruri shakes her head.

Shun's grip tightens on her arm.

"Let me go."

"Not if you're going to say foolish stuff like that."

"Please."

Shun tugs her forward, back into the house. Ruri digs in her heels, pulling away. She can see the storm brewing, and every second she takes only makes her feel more and more upset, as if she's just making things harder and harder for herself. Ruri wants to cry at it all, but she's through with crying now, through with letting the world walk over her fate.

Ruri pulls back with all her might. "Shun, I have to—"

"You don't, not if you're going to act so selfish—"

Ruri yanks herself out of his grip, "I am selfish, all right—I'm selfish every second of every day, and—and I know that you want me to be OK, and that you want me to just stay in this house, but if I do nothing I'm going to regret it. If I stay and leave my friend, I'm going to make such a terrible mistake for everyone—"

"Do you—you hear the words coming out of your mouth?"

Ruri nods her head. "I do, and I want you to believe them. Please, Shun, believe me. I care about you, and I want you to be OK—but out there is my friend too, and I care about her too, and she needs me more than ever. There's something that only I can do, and whether or not you believe it, I have to leave and help her."

Ruri takes a step towards the door, balling her hands in fists. "Shun, you told me that I should make mistakes, that I'm too much of a good girl that I'm making the world look bad. Please, let me make this mistake. Please let me fix something that I've done wrong, because I did make a huge mistake and I need to fix it. I need to apologise to someone—someone who's probably been waiting for my apology for all these years.

"Believe me, please—I'm doing the right thing. Trust me."

Shun looks like he wants to close his eyes and smack his head back against the wall once more. He closes his eyes though, and instead pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "You make no fucking sense, you know that?"

"I'm sorry."

One eye opens. "Are you being forced into this?"

"No."

"No ulterior motives?"

"None."

"Then ..." Shun balls his hand in a fist, and gently yet firmly, pushes it against her shoulder. "Go. Do it."

Ruri feels like her heart could soar. Her soul feels as light as a feather, and the whole house seems to light up with colour. "Th ... thank you," Ruri says. "Thank you."

"Don't mess up, all right?" Shun says. "Don't come home in tears."

Ruri twists her fingers together, holding her beside her chest. "I promise."

With one last look goodbye at Shun, standing in the doorway, still holding out his fist, Ruri heads out the door. She whispers goodbye to Shun and to her home, and as she dashes through the blustery streets, she says goodbye to anything and everything she's ever seen with her bright eyes. The familiar streets and shops have been blackened out as if someone has taken a pen and erased them from view. At times, Ruri feels like she's running down all the wrong streets.

Then she sees the bridge, a beacon of hope. Ruri can see the Dimensional Dragon too, its body morphing faster than the blink of an eye. It looks truly horrifying, and no matter how much she looks at it, she can never quite make out what it's meant to be.

She doesn't see Serena until she makes it to the beginning of the bridge. There, lying in the centre, of the path, is Serena. Thick tar drips from her body. Nothing seems to be holding her down, but by the quivering of her limbs, it looks like it's taking all of Serena's energy just to exist face-down on the ground. Ruri brings a hand to her mouth.

Ruri dashes forward, a spring in her steps. Light pops underneath her heels, creating a warm glow that follows her across the bridge. Ruri kneels down by Serena, who hasn't even lifted her head. Gently, Ruri touches her hand to Serena's head, carding her fingers through her hair.

With a weak cough, Serena lifts her head. Her eyes seem too hazy to focus, but then she sucks in a breath.

"It's all right," Ruri says, drawing her hand down to cup Serena's cheek. "I'm here."

Behind her, Ruri feels the boring eyes of Zarc. She looks over her shoulder, teeth in her lips—and then her expression melts away to one of joy, and she smiles at Serena.

"Thank you," she says, "and ... I'm sorry."


	39. Thirty-Nine

Ruri stands with her feet firmly planted on the ground, gazing ahead not at the great, groaning Dimensional Dragon stepping forward, but instead at the small, black dragon sitting on the bridge's handrails, tail swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Ruri keeps her chin held up high and her fists at her sides. She doesn't turn away when Zarc's leering eyes gaze deep into her.

At her feet lies Serena, too tired to even sit upright. Once Ruri made sure that Serena wasn't to be harmed, Ruri let her lie still. After all, Serena has done enough fighting for the two of them.

"I'm ready to make my wish."

"Are you sure?" Zarc's tongue glides over his sharp, white teeth. "But since you are the centre of multiple fates and universes, all thanks to Serena's magic, it shouldn't be too hard. After all, Ruri, you are the only one that has ever mattered in this timeline."

Ruri's lips tremble, but she holds herself steady. "I know," she says, "and that's why I'll make a wish only I can make."

On the ground, Serena sobs softly. "Please ... no ..."

Zarc tilts his head towards her. "Will you disobey Serena, Kurosaki Ruri? After all, if you make a wish, you'll only go against everything Serena has been fighting for."

Ruri shakes her head. "It's because of everything Serena has done that I can make this wish for her." Ruri kneels down on the ground, and gently she brushes aside Serena's hair. Serena has grown too weak to even lift her head, her face sticky with sweat.

"Please ..." Serena says, eyes wet.

Ruri cups Serena's face in her hands. "Serena, I finally know what I want. All these years, all these timelines—it must have been frustrating for you to fight for someone like me. But now I know what I truly want, and I'm willing to sacrifice myself for you—"

Serena sobs, pushing her face into Ruri's hands.

Ruri catches the tears. "You've fought so much, worked so hard, all for my sake. I'll never be able to thank you for everything that you've done, but at the very least I can use my wish for the good of everyone. I know ... you said not to make your wish for others, and I've seen how hurtful it can be ... and yet, I think it's because I am human—that we are all human—that we wish for the good of others. We selfishly make wishes to make other people happy.

"Serena, after all these years, I know what I truly want. So please believe in me."

Ruri presses her hands on either side of Serena's face, squeezing her red cheeks. Serena only sobs more. Then, as if she were laying down her child, Ruri sets Serena back on the ground and stands to face Zarc. Ruri's expression remains unwavering as she holds herself up before Zarc.

"Are you ready to make your wish?" Zarc asks, stepping forward. His great, back wings shoot out from either side of his back, the purplish glow catching in the spiderweb-like webbing. "What will you wish for, Kurosaki Ruri, in exchange for your very soul?"

Ruri takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She pictures herself in the dream, standing before Zarc. She pictures herself as a puella magi, fighting dragons for the safety and future of the dimensions. When she opens her eyes, Zarc is but a speck in her all-seeing vision. No matter where Ruri looks, all she sees is light and warmth. It feels like there are a million arms wrapped around her, holding her through this next step.

_ I am where I am today because of my friends. I am who I am because of Serena. _

"Zarc," Ruri says, holding out one arm, "please grant my wish: I want to erase all dragons before they are born from puella magi."

Zarc's mouth drops, his eyes widen; his entire being seems to give a violent, unearthly tremor. He steps back, nearly tumbling off the edge of the bridge, before his tail catches him and holds him in place. "You ... you what?"

Ruri doesn't stop, stretching out her arm which will soon be bound with a bracelet. "Listen to me—all the dragons in every universe, in both the past and the future, I want them to disappear. With my own power, I wish to see the end of all dragons."

He tumbles over the side of the bridge. Quickly, Zarc's wings flutter to hold him aloft, but Ruri doesn't miss his incredulous expression. "Ru—Ruri, that wish—what are you even saying? If that wish were to come true, we'd—we'd be talking about a power interfering with more than the laws of time. You'd change the laws of causality too, a power reserved only for ..." Zarc swallows. "Are you wanting to become a god, Kurosaki Ruri?"

With a weak albeit glowing smile, Ruri shrugs her shoulders. "If that is what it takes."

Zarc's eyes only grow in size.

As if she were swimming in a hot tub, warmth runs through Ruri's veins. Her vision begins to swell, colours blurring together as something envelops her. It feels like the world has wrapped its arms around her and drawn her close. Ruri closes her eyes too, leaning into the comforting touches.

"If becoming a god is what it takes to erase the dragons, I'll do it. I don't want anyone who believes in hope and who smiles so freely to cry so much. I want my friends and family to keep smiling without holding such pain in their hearts. I don't want to see someone fight mercilessly for their wishes that will never come true. So that's why ..."

Ruri's eyes snap open, and she sees every dimension and galaxy flash in her eyes. And standing in the middle of those galaxies are hundreds of dragons like Zarc, all small and harmless-looking with terrible, glowing eyes that appear to suck away the very existence of the worlds.

On her wrist, her bracelet glows brighter and brighter, inlaid with a lilac-coloured stone, the very colour of the sky she saw before she rose towards the heavens. Now when Ruri looks ahead, she sees the light emitted from her bracelet illuminates the dimensions. In fact, her very being seems to have become attached to the world. When Ruri moves, she feels the oceans shift with her, the sun circle around her being.

Ruri holds her arm out so far that her fingers brush against the cheeks of the dragons. But rather than flinch away from the fierce cold, Ruri only reaches further, never holding back.

"That's why I'll destroy any rules that get in the way of that. I won't let you hurt any of my friends or trick any more girls. I won't let you have your way with this world, even if it destroys the dimensions or costs me my life. I won't sit around waiting for fate to take hold. I won't believe in those rules—so I'll remake them. Hear me out, Zarc—grant me my wish!"

The dimensions explode in pastel lilac, bursting across her vision. Ruri feels as if she's pulled in a million directions all at once, all by warm hands and arms that want to draw her closer. No matter where she looks, no matter who she tries to follow, Ruri finds herself in an endless loop, spiralling through the dimensions. She tries to picture where Serena or Zarc might be, or where she might find Maiami City among this endless loop through the dimensions. But then her vision turns white like she's found herself in the afterlife—

And then she's sitting before Akaba Ray who holds a teacup out to her like a peace offering. Her smile is tepid though, and her face, while normally quite collected, is paler than the china cup.

"Do you ... know how scary that wish is?" she says, and then, "Here, drink this," as if she's trying to comfort herself and Ruri at the same time.

Only Ruri has never felt better. She takes the tea cup to appease Ray, and she sips from it, appreciating the gentle, floral flavour. But when Ray asks her the questions again, Ruri only shrugs.

"You will ..." Ray takes a sip from her cup and swallows thickly. "Kurosaki Ruri, you will cease to become a person. As a god, you will burden this wish alone. Your entire being will be linked to destroying dragons, a cause that will never give you any rest or peace. Even dying and becoming a dragon would have been easier than this."

"That's all right," Ruri says with a smile. "That was my intention to begin with."

"H-huh?"

Ruri nods her head, her smiling spreading across her rosy cheeks. "Miss Ray, if someone told me that it's wrong to have hope and smile freely, I would kindly tell that person they are wrong. If someone told me not to make a wish for the sake of others, I would do the same. And I would never hold back my words, not when I believe them with all my heart and soul."

"I agree."

Ruri turns her head. There, sitting at the table, is Rin, munching on an apple. She takes large bites and chews with her mouth open, and when Ray glances her way, Rin only opens her mouth wider.

"I'm just saying that it's not the greatest mistake in the world if you make your wish for someone else, or we've got a lot of idiots in these dimensions." She winks at Ruri. "You found a reason to fight, didn't you?"

"That's right."

"Then it's fine." Rin kicks her feet up on the table, stretching her arms behind her head. "You might not understand, Ray, because you only made your wish for yourself—but trust me, what Ruri is doing ain't wrong in my books. Just remember, Ruri, you have to see your wish through to the very end. Don't give up."

"I won't."

"Then ..." Ray smiles, and she reaches under the table for something. "I have to give something back to you, Ruri, something I've held onto for a while now."

From underneath the table, Ray presents Ruri with a book—her notebook in fact, the one she drew pictures inside. Ruri knows what's inside the book before she even flips through the pages, yet she still glances inside at her childish drawing of her puella magi outfit. When she takes the book in her hands, Ray and Rin begin to sparkle and fade from view. Yet instead of reaching out for them and calling for them to come back, Ruri settles back from the table, pressing the book to her chest.

"Thank you," she says, "to both of you."

Rin salutes her. "You're not just granting hope, y'know ..."

Ray holds both hands to her heart. "Kurosaki Ruri, you're becoming hope itself."

Ruri sees their bodies flicker in the growing light, and again a warmness comes to sweep her close and cover her eyes. The last thing Ruri sees of Ray and Rin are their smiles as the sit across the table.

"You're hope for us all."

Then Ruri sees her own body begin to change. A soft, cream fabric spread from the centre of her chest, wrapping around her breast and hips. A skirt puffs from around a leather belt on her hips, and her thighs disappear under a mound of puffy, yellow skirts. Her shoulders remain bare, but around her arms are fabrics embellished with large, loopy bows in purple. Lace-edged socks wrap around her legs, and on her feet appear a pair of simple, heeled shoes.

Around her neck, Ruri feels her hair begin to curl together. It feels like when Shun fixed up her hair, only the design becomes more elaborate, looping the thick, dark strands together under it as a bow under her head, fastened by two, yellow ribbons that blow in the breeze. Carefully, Ruri brings one gloved hand up to touch her hair, and as if Shun were next to her, Ruri hears someone say, "Don't touch it or you'll mess it up."

When Ruri brings her hand down, a wooden bow materialises in her hands. She strings the bow with an arrow tied with a yellow ribbon, and she holds it up to a world that has begun to appear, growing outwards like a picture that has come into focus. Ruri sees all the dimensions, both young and old, forming around her, and she watches them with a longing deep in her heart. Then, with a cheer, Ruri shoots the arrow through the sky.

Her body follows, zipping across the dimensions, through the timelines she's lived and died in, until she comes across a little girl with red hair lying on the ground. She looks far too young to have made a contract, yet in her hand lies her bleeding Soul Gem. Ruri floats above the girl and lightly touches her fingers to the cracks in the Soul Gem.

"I'm here," she says to the little girl, "and you are not alone."

From Ruri's fingertips blossoms a soft, magical glow that mends the crack in the Soul Gem. The darkness seeps away too, disappearing into Ruri's own hand. She doesn't feel the magic in her own Soul though; no, Ruri swallows the darkness and erases it from the very fabric of the dimensions.

Then she leaps back through the sky, descending in another timeline, in another dimension, to see another little girl lying on the ground, her Soul Gem bleeding across her wrist and onto her outstretched palm. This time Ruri holds the girl's hand as she takes her Soul Gem, mends it, and then breaks it off her wrist. Ruri slips it onto her own wrist, and she examines its soft, green glow.

She continues on and on, saving girls, collecting their Soul Gems; letting the girls return freely to their lives without any pain or suffering.

As she continues, Ruri feels a lightness in her own soul. The more she travels, the more girls she saves, the more Ruri feels her wish coming true.

_ I won't ever let you be alone. I won't ever let your stories end in despair. I won't let your wishes be burdened by cruel, unrelenting fates. So please, everyone, believe in yourself and others. Believe in hopes and dreams, and smile as freely as you can. I'll bear all your fates on my own, for there are friends of mine who have born my fate for as long as they could. _

_ Now it's my time to return the favour. _

No matter where she goes, no matter who she sees, Ruri appears to end their suffering and collect their Grief Seeds. She fights for the sake of everyone who has ever put their life on the line for their wishes, so that when their Soul Gems become Grief Seeds, they no longer have to the curse the world they once loved.

"You won't have to curse anyone," Ruri says, cupping her hands over the little girls' quaking hands. "Please let go of all your hate and grief, and let me continue to fight for you. Please return to the lives you were meant to live and let me fight on for you. I'll take all your burden before you turn into that."

When Ruri flies back to the dimensions though, she sees someone she thought would have remained in Maiami City: Serena, floating through the galaxies. Serena was a time-traveller though, so it makes sense that she would exist outside of the laws of the dimensions too. Though when Ruri sees her, her soul alights and she flies forward.

Around her, Ruri hears Zarc speaking to Serena, coaxing her to cry and cry.

"Do you see that?" Zarc says. "That burning comet shooting through the dimensions. That is the being known as Kurosaki Ruri—not a human, not even a living organism, but a cosmic force destined to always fight dragons and destroy Grief Seeds. She will never die, never be relieved of her suffering. And that energy hurtling towards the worlds—that is her Soul Gem."

Ruri smiles. All thanks to Serena, she was strong enough to make a wish to bring about the recreation of the dimensions.

_ I restarted the world,  _ she wants to say. _ I did it, Serena—I changed time. _

Zarc continues: "But that means her Soul Gem can all too easily become a Grief Seed, one that could destroy the fabric of time and erase every single dimension any of us have ever lived in. If Kurosaki Ruri ever wishes to end her suffering, all she has to do is give up the dimensions she sought to protect."

When Ruri hears those words, her heart clenches. She dashes towards Serena, nearly bowling her over with her god-like body. She wraps herself around Serena, and through all the magic swirling between them, Ruri materialises, her human-like body appearing, dressed in the beautiful, yellow gown she always wanted to wear when she was a human.

"Don't worry," she says to Serena, reaching for her hand. "This is the wish I wanted to make. If my wish to erase the dragons came true, then even I have no reason to feel despair anyone. I'll never become a Grief Seed or a dragon."

Around her, Zarc swirls, his wings spreading in an attempt to snuff out her brightness. He's grown much larger than Ruri ever thought he could. And yet, when he tries to speak to her, his voice sounds softer than a mouse. He's no longer the grand, glorious Zarc Ruri once saw him as, but instead a single voice among an endless sea of people and beings that have stuck with Ruri through each of her lives.

_ You know,  _ Zarc says to her,  _ with this new life, you have neither a beginning nor an end. You might hear all those voices from the lives you've lived, but none of those people will ever remember who you are. There is no proof that you have ever lived, and no one will have any memories of you. Your existence has shifted to a higher plane, and you have been reduced to a concept ... a vague sense of hope and happiness. _

_ With this new life, none of your friends will recognise you. No one will remember your name. You will be alone in this world, forever saving the lives of girls who will never be able to thank you. In saving the universe, you have ceased to be a part of it. _

"That's all right," Ruri says.

_ Are you sure?  _ Zarc says.  _ Are you truly sure this is what you wished for? _

"Ye—"

A bullet flies through Zarc's head. Serena holds her silver gun between her shaking hands. She takes deep, steading breath, but her shoulders quake with silent sobs. She drops the gun into the dark galaxies around them, and brings her hands to her face to hide her tears.

Ruri's body materialises as a human once more, dressed as a puella magi. She takes holds of Serena's hands, and draws both of them together. Then, with a soft smile on her lips, Ruri kisses Serena on the lips. "Thank you," Ruri whispers to Serena. "Thank you for everything and more. Thank you for everything you have done for all these years, because without you, I would not be who I am today."

Lips pressed to hers, Serena can only cry harder.


	40. Forty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll put the final chapter up tomorrow! (:

When Serena opens her eyes, there is soft light all around her. She's not where she once was, with Zarc hovering her shoulder and taunting Ruri for making her wish. She's not even where Zarc could be, Serena supposes, because ... well, even Serena isn't quite sure where she is. She's floating through a cloudy sky dazzled with stars. A warm wind blows on her cheeks and tousles her hair that has loosened from its ponytail.

When Serena blinks, Ruri is holding her arms, drawing her closer. Serena feels her tears well up in her eyes once more, and she tries not to cry and ruin Ruri's beautiful puella magi uniform, but she still cries loudly.

"I'm—I'm sorry—" Serena tries to say through her choked throat.

Ruri's fingers run through her hair, tickling her scalp. With each pet, Ruri draws Serena's head a bit closer, until Serena's cheek is on the bare skin of Ruri's breast.

"This is fine." Ruri says it too simply, too honestly, that it makes Serena feel like crying all over again.

"No—no, stop joking—how could you be OK with this?" Twisting herself side to side, Serena tries to look up and see if Ruri is crying too; only she's smiling her warm, gentle smile that only makes Serena feel worse about what has happened. "How—how could this be fine? You didn't wish for this—"

"But I did," Ruri says in that same, soft voice, carding her fingers through Serena's hair. She takes deep breaths and tips her head forward so that their foreheads touch. "This is the wish I wanted to make."

"But—but Kurosaki, this is worse that dying! You won't even die—you'll keep living as some spirit or being, never getting a second of rest—"

"This is fine though." Ruri presses her lips to Serena's cheek for a moment, and then, lips still against her chin, whispers, "Serena, as this goddess, I can see everything, all the worlds and dimensions that exist, existed, and will soon exist. I can see and know everything, and so I can see those lives you lived with me, fighting for me, protecting me. I can see how hard that you worked for my sake."

Serena's throat gurgles as she tries to speak. "B-but—"

"You fought for me for so many years, getting hurt and upset in the process. You cried more than I did this past month—no, in probably all the months that I have lived avoiding my contract. Even though I was bound to become a puella magi in the end, you never gave up. You might think that by becoming a goddess I have gone against every single one of your wishes, but ..." Ruri leans back, smiling. "Isn't it time I protected you for once?"

"B-but you  _ have— _ "

Gently, Ruri shushes her. "I wish I could have remembered all those previous times with you, because ... Because I never knew, through each and every timeline I have lived in, there has always been such a great friend beside me. So in a way, I'm thankful that my wish could show me the truth. I'm so happy that at last I can thank the friend that has protected me for all these years."

Serena rubs at her eyes with fists, willing the tears away. This isn't what she wanted to happen at all, and yet she can't find it in her to simply demand Ruri change her wish. After all, hasn't Ruri simply made a wish just like her—a wish to save a friend?

So instead Serena leans close and whispers, "Are you really fine with this? R- ... Ruri, you won't ever be able to return home or to school. You won't ever see us again. You'll be ..." Serena sniffs. "You'll be all alone in a place like this, forgotten by all of us. I won't remember you ... I'm going to forget you."

Ruri only smiles. "After everything you have done for me, all those years of fighting and being alone and turning back time only to watch me die once more, I think I can live like this. Besides, I'm not alone."

"I ... don't want this," Serena says, burying her face into Ruri's breasts. "Please, no—please don't leave me ..."

Carefully, Ruri brings her arms up to wrap around Serena's shoulder. Serena feels the touch and leans into it, but her heart twists painfully, reminding her that soon she'll have to break away. Soon she'll never be able to touch Ruri again. She won't be able to turn back time and erase the mistakes that have been made. She won't be able to save Ruri anymore because Ruri has already saved her.

"I'm going to forget about you," Serena says, choking back more tears. "Ruri, I'm going to forget about you no matter what happens."

Ruri clicks her tongue and rests her chin atop Serena's head. "I'm going to be everywhere all at once though," she says. "So you might not be able to see or hear me, but now I'll be with you all the time, Serena. I won't ever leave you or disappear."

Serena feels hands on her shoulders that begin to push her away, and she quickly outstretches her hands to try and stop them. But Ruri puts just a bit of distance between them, and Serena's throat closes up. No, no—they can't break apart so soon! Ruri can't leave! Serena struggles against Ruri's grip, reaching out for her hands or hair, anything to pull her back by.

Then something falls into her palms—yellow ribbons that were once in Ruri's hair. Now that the hair is free, Ruri's long locks tumble down to her knees, fluttering out as if she were wearing a cape of sorts. Serena gasps at the sight, yet her eyes fill with tears when she sees the ribbons in Ruri's hands. Serena's own ribbon has mysteriously disappeared during the fight.

"Please don't give up," Ruri says. "After all, we're puella magi, protectors of the dimensions and creators of hopes and dreams. We can even weave miracles into the fabric of time."

Serena touches the ribbons, flinching at their soft, satin feel. Ruri lifts her hands up so they connect, and against her will, Serena's fingers close around the ribbons.

"Please," she pleads. "Please don't leave."

"Serena," Ruri says, "it's a miracle that you are here with me, talking with me, touching me. Don't you think that many, many more miracles can happen between us? I think ..." Ruri rolls her shoulders back and tilts her head towards the star-speckled sky. "I think you might end up remembering me."

Serena opens her mouth to answer, but Ruri's celestial, ethereal body begins to disappear into the stars, fluttering away. Quickly, Serena tries to gather the glittering particles in her hands, as if she might be able to put Ruri back together. "Please—Ruri, no—stop—"

"Don't worry," a voice says—Ruri's voice—from all around her. The voice seems to come from everywhere, and no matter where Serena looks, she sees the lilacs and pinks that remind her so much of Ruri. "We won't be separated for too long, Serena. Someday, we'll see each other again. You won't forget me though, just as I will never forget you."

"I'm sorry ..."

The universe seems to rumble as if it's taking a new breath of life.

"I love you."

Serena's vision fades to black, and she falls through what feels like every timeline she's ever created and lived through, spiralling through memories after memories. Eventually, she closes her eyes and lets the feelings and memories wash over her like painful, albeit reassuring, waves. She doesn't open her eyes until she tumbles back onto what feels like a blanket, and even then she keeps her eyes closed and rests.

Against her cheek she feels a soft, comforting presence that could only be Ruri's hand.

* * *

_ "Duelists locked in battle! Kicking the earth and dancing in the air alongside their monsters! They storm through this field! Behold! This is the newest and greatest evolution of Dueling! Action Duel!" _

"I'm sorry things turned out this way, Yuzu."

Yuzu glances to her side where Ruri sits, legs crossed and hands folded neatly in her lap. With her hair hanging down and sweeping across her shoulders and down her back, she looks far too mature for a middle-schooler. When Yuzu first saw Ruri, she didn't even recognise her. She looks like a queen who had stepped from her castle. But Yuzu is not with her, just a spectre of a beautiful soul sitting on the sidelines of reality.

"It's fine," Yuzu says with a shrug. "Y'know, it happens."

"True ..." Ruri says, but her brows furrow together, appearing wholly unconvinced.

"I'm serious," Yuzu says.

"If I were to fix this ... save you ... I would have had to undo the wish you made."

Yuzu turns her head to where Yuuya and Mieru dance through the skies, twisting around each other. Their monsters follow them, able to keep up with their quick rhythm. No one would have known that Yuuya was recently discharged from the hospital. He moves with such grace and beauty, his face bright and beaming. He wears black suspenders over a dress shirt, and a beret perched on his head. Next to him floats Mieru, dressed in a long, black gown with a white undershirt. The underlayer of her skirts are a royal purple that catches in the stage lights.

"I'm glad my wish survived," Yuzu says.

Ruri nods her head. "I remember how hard you thought about your wish, and how much you fought for it when Zarc granted it. It's inspiring how you never bowed down to your fears, how you continued to fight for not only your happiness but for others. I get where Rin was coming from back then, and Ray too ... but I think making wishes for others is what makes us strong."

Yuzu rests a hand to her chest, feeling the thrum of her heartbeat. Even if she no longer exists, even if Yuuya can't see her ... she can see him, smiling and dancing and dueling. Her wish is still alive.

"I wanted to see him duel," Yuzu whispers. "That's why I made my wish. I saw him in the hospital, beaten up over his future that might not have ever come true. And I knew he'd be a fantastic duelist, Entertainment or Divination. I knew he had it in him to be whoever he wanted to be, so I don't regret what wish I made."

Wryly, Yuzu laughs. "I do wish he didn't end up with Mieru, if I'm honest with myself. I kinda wish she didn't become his partner, but I guess if I'm not around, I'm glad Yuuya still has a dueling partner. Maybe they'll break up down the road and Yuuya will find another dueling partner."

Ruri laughs along with her. "Maybe."

"But until then ..." Yuzu watches Yuuya soar through the sky, followed by a rainbow of strobe lights. "Until then, Mieru will make him happy. Until then and forever more, he'll keep dueling."

* * *

When Serena does open her eyes, she finds herself lying not on a soft pillow or in Ruri's lap, but on the hard, concrete floor of the train station, specifically where she remembers Yuzu's Soul Gem bursting and becoming a Grief Seed. Serena glances left and right, looking for any signs of danger, but instead she spots Rin and Ray crouched on the platform, both garbed as puella magi with weapons and all. Serena remember seeing their haunted forms when she fought the Dimensional Dragon, and she shivers.

_ They’re not alive. I know it. _

Rin raises an eyebrow. "What?"

Ray clicks her tongue. "Gentle with her, Rin—she's been through a lot."

Serena glances from side to side again. If Ray and Rin are here, and Ruri is in the heavens as a goddess, where is ... Where is Yuzu? Surely she would have come back too now that Ruri has rewrote the laws of puella magi? Surely Yuzu can't be a dragon; after all, there are no more dragons in these worlds.

"Yuzu?" Serena pushes herself upright, stumbling forward to the train platform. She can't remember where Yuzu last was, but this was her final dying place, wasn't it?

"Yuzu?" Rin tilts her head. Then, as if the name has crossed her mind too, Rin's entire body stiffens and her eyes narrow. "Hey, what about her? Where is she?"

Ray swallows thickly. "She's ... already gone." Ray lifts one hand, which has begun to disappear into glittering particles. Just like Ruri had, Ray begins to disappear.

"What the fuck—what's happening?" Rin grabs onto Ray's disappearing arm, but her hand passes clean through. Rin's eyes widen. "Hey—"

"The laws that Ruri has created have erased our existences—not out of cruelty, but out of love. Since we have died, we cannot exist as dragons. Thus, we'll return to her, to the stars and heavens." Ray glances towards Serena, sitting on the dirty pavement of the train station. "You'll keep living though, Serena."

Serena feels her throat close up once more. She'll be alone all again, with no friends, no one she remembers from all the timelines she's lived within. She'll be in a cold, lonely world without anything or anyone familiar. It sounds like the worst of fates for anyone and everyone, and yet somehow Ray can smile through it all as if it's a reality she has happily agreed with.

To Serena's surprise though, it's Rin who begins to cry, tumbling to the ground in a heap. "This—this is how it ends? How all of us end?"

"We'll never have to curse anyone again—"

"Damn it, I didn't want this—"

Gently, Ray sets her hands on Rin's shoulders. "I'm sorry. After everything we've fought for, after all we've lived through, I think this is what She wanted."

"But—but we just became friends—"

Serena's mind clings onto one word though, a name she thought she should have heard. When she looks down at her hands, she realises she's still holding onto the yellow, satin ribbons. "Ruri," she suddenly says. "Ruri, you're talking about her, you remember her, you know she made that wish for us all, she sacrificed herself, she—"

Ray lifts her head, carefully removing her hands from Rin's quaking shoulders. "Serena," Ray says, "who's Ruri?"

Serena wishes she could forget Ruri at that moment—forget her name and face; the feeling of her skin or the warmth of her breath. But Ruri remains the clearest image in Serena's mind, even when her thoughts muddle together and her heart becomes thick and painful, and Serena holds the ribbons to her chest and wishes all the bad, terrible memories away. Around her though she feels a pair of hands on her shoulders, and she wonders if Ruri is trying, one last time, to hug her.


	41. Forty-One

No matter where she is, no matter who she sees or what she hears, Serena remembers Ruri. She sees her face in the clouds when she raises her head to the heavens. On the train ride to school, Serena hears Ruri's voice all around her, as if Ruri lives within everyone. As silly as it sounds, Serena begins to wonder if Ruri represents everyone and everything. If she is a goddess, who does she represent? The puella magi who put their lives on the line?

No matter who Ruri is though, Serena never forgets the name.

One day though, Serena sees someone who looks far too much like Ruri—a man, tall and stern and imposing and who shouldn't look anything like gentle Ruri, and yet he does. Serena stands at the curb, right beside him. The man is so tall that he nearly towers over her, and when Serena raises her chin a bit, she still feels like a small squirt next to him.

A feeling eats away at her stomach. Ruri had an older brother, didn't she? And if Ruri doesn't exist anymore, then ... would her brother remember her?

"Hey," Serena says after a moment.

The man turns his head. He's got deep blue hair, with a swoop of turquoise bangs poised over his thin eyebrows. Every angle of his face is sharp, and his eyes bore into her. Judging by the crisp suit he wears, he must be an office worker of some sort. The trench coat he wears overtop of his office wear makes him stand out a touch too much though, and Serena swallows a giggle as she tries to picture this aloof man as Ruri's big brother.

"Thought you looked like someone familiar," Serena says after a moment, when the man just keeps staring at her. "Um—the name's Saotome. Saotome Serena."

"Kurosaki Shun."

The name Kurosaki puts butterflies in Serena's stomach. Though she knows what the answer might be, she asks, "You have a sibling, Kurosaki? That name sounds familiar."

"... no," Shun says, and yet he hesitates over the words, his face turning vacant. Serena wonders what must be going through his head. Did he ever have a dream of having a little sister? Did he ever dream of a girl with dark hair and purple bangs, with a smile so bright it could power an entire city? Does he remember someone important to him too?

Serena doesn't give up though. She knows, deep down, that Shun might remember Ruri. So from her pocket she yanks out a deep blue stone—lapis lazuli. She tosses it back and forth in her hands, watching the way Shun's eyes follow the stone.

"You on your way to work?" Serena asks.

"... yeah. You?"

"School."

Over her head, Serena hears the bell chime to signal they can cross. She steps ahead, but as she moves, she hears Shun suck in a deep breath.

"Hey—"

Serena spins around, eyes wide. She hopes she's as expressive as Shun is, for deep in Serena's belly she feels an entire swarm of butterflies fluttering around. "Yes?" she says, a note of suspense in her voice.

"Um ... well ..." Suddenly self-conscious, Shun looks away and rubs at his cheek. "Your ... ribbon ..."

Carefully, Serena brings her hands up to her head.

"Hey, don't pull it out," Shun says. "It's ... um ... nice."

Serena thinks so too. Her long, purple hair is tied in a down-do at the base of her neck, the thick hair cinched together with two, yellow ribbons that flutter in the breeze. Serena practiced for hours to copy the exact same hairstyle as Ruri, and though she's certain she'll never look as pretty as her, Serena always hoped she'd look a bit like Ruri.

Blushing, Serena tips her head forward. "Thanks."

They begin walking across the crosswalk, faster so that the light doesn't change before they're all the way over. With each step she takes, Serena feels her heart grow a bit lighter. When she gets to the other side, she glances over at Shun, whose face is pulled in a million expressions. It looks like he's trying to say something but the words keep fumbling on his tongue.

Serena reaches back into her pocket and pulls out the stone. "I wish the ribbons were this colour though: lapis lazuli ... or Ruri."

Shun swallows. "It's a ... nice colour. Yeah. Nice."

Serena holds out her hand, the stone pinched between her fingers. "You should have it," she says suddenly. "Please."

Shun looks like he's been slapped across the face. "No, um—Saotome, that's—"

"Serena," she says, her name sounding not quite so foreign on her tongue. "Call me Serena. Can I please ... call you Shun?"

Her words seem to shock him, but he gathers his bearings faster that she imagined he could, and he grunts out a "whatever."

To Serena's surprise, he doesn't speed up his pace. They walk together for a bit, enjoying each other's silent company. The more steps she takes alongside him, the less squashed Serena feels standing beside him. Sure, Shun is a tall, imposing guy, but now Serena knows a bit more of what he must have been like as Ruri's brother. And, though he refused to take it the first time, Serena smiles as she sees the lapis lazuli stone tossed back and forth in Shun's hands.

Serena walks with Shun all the way to his work, and even though he tells her off multiple times that she'll be late, he doesn't seem to push her away. When he's gone though, Serena doesn't head to class. There's no one in that school that she wants to meet, no one that she cares about. She's spent far too many months in that classroom, repeating the same, menial day. There's no point in going back to a place that won't offer her anything.

Instead, Serena turns around to face Akaba Ray's studio apartment. It's just across the street from Shun's building. In fact, when Serena climbs the stairs and enters the barren apartment, she can peek across the window at one of the offices Shun might even be sitting at.

It doesn't matter though.

Skirts twirling, Serena spins. There on the counter sits Zarc, flicking his tail from side to side. He doesn't stand out in the empty apartment. All of Ray's belongings are still here, though the place still feels like a wasteland. Serena takes a seat at the coffee table, and Zarc leaps down from his place to join her, settling atop the coffee table and dragging his nails along the wood.

"You're still around?" Serena says.

Zarc nods his head. "Even if this world may feel like a dream, even after everything that's happened ... Kurosaki Ruri only made a wish to erase all dragons, not those like me."

"Hm." Serena settles forward, cupping her head in her hands. "But aren't you a dragon of sorts?"

"Different," Zarc says, licking his lips. "But on the topic of dragons ... there won't be any more dragons if Miss Ruri is purifying all the Grief Seeds, right?"

Serena swallows. "But that doesn't mean there aren't any more puella magi, right?" Serena holds up her arm, upon which rests her Soul Gem. Though Ruri did her best to ease the suffering of puella magi, she failed to erase the existence of puella magi and our wishes.

"Well, it doesn't matter either way: we got our energy—our entertainment—in the end. It doesn't matter to us how it happened, who died, who _lived."_ Zarc's smile spreads over his face. "Kurosaki Ruri only saved those girls who were meant to become dragons."

From the window comes a shadow, pouring into the room. Serena leaps out of the way before it swallows her, but the darkness still clips and freezes her cheek. Serena flinches at the contact. Never before has she seen such unstable matter, tumbling over itself. It looks like the weak, pathetic remains of the Dimensional Dragon: unable to take on a solid form, the black matter turns on itself over and over again, forever in a change limbo.

Zarc settles on her shoulder, digging his claws into her skin. Serena doesn't push him aside, her breath caught in her throat.

"Just because there are no more dragons does not mean there are no more curses or despair. Just because you stopped one evil does not mean this world has been purified. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, the law of change will always remain: where there is hope, grief follows."

Serena dashes to the side before the darkness clips her once more. She unlocks her magic and shoots bullets at the darkness. Though the darkness can't seem to take a solid form, her bullet still penetrate and wound the black miasma, chipping away at its existence. Inky blood leaks across the floor. Before it can attack her again, Serena leaps up into the sky. From her back sprout two, beautiful pairs of wings, gifts from a goddess, that help her glide across the sky.

"It doesn't matter," Serena says to Zarc, shaking him off and plunging him back to the darkness.

She raises her guns to the tumbling, black dragon and fires the gun through each of his limbs.

"This world may be a place of endless sadness and despair, forever plunged into grief, but it's still a place that She once tried to protect. This is still the beautiful, wonderful world that She lived in."

As Serena flies through the sky, a pair of strong, warm arms wrap around her from behind. It feels like a second presence riding on her back, and Serena closes her eyes. She imagines those arms being attached to a beautiful goddess with hair the colour of the night sky, bangs sparkling in the stars. The goddess would hold her close and tell her, "I will always be with you."

On her angelic wings, Serena flies through the starry skies of Maiami City. She carries the goddess on her back, taking her through the thick, cotton-candy clouds and up to the twinkling stars and moon. The goddess never leaves her, never lets go.

When they reach up to the heavens, Serena hears her soft, albeit embarrassed, voice: "Hey."

Serena regrets the first words that come out of her mouth: "Sorry." She swallows, and then tries again. "Um, Kurosaki ... Ruri ... are you really OK with this, with everything ... with me?"

Still riding on her back, Ruri reaches forward and threads her fingers into Serena's fingers. Ruri rests her head in the space between Serena's wings and takes a deep breath. "Of course."

"But after—after everything that happened—"

Ruri presses a kiss to the space between her wings, and Serena feels a shiver run all the way down her spine. She gasps too, such a betraying sound, and her entire face flushes pink. Serena is thankful Ruri is on her back instead of facing forward.

"After everything that has happened, and everything that is yet to come ..." Ruri kisses her once more. "We have always been friends. From now on, and forever more. Always."

Serena blinks back the tears in her eyes. Her throat feels sticky and warm, and she struggles to bring the words to her voice. When she at last gets the words out, they seem to come from her very soul: "Always."

And this time, Ruri never lets go. Ever.

* * *

_Don't forget. Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you._

_As long as you remember Her, you are not alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter is a bit shorter, but i hope you've enjoyed reading this! i wrote most of this fic in less than a month, so it was great fun for me to test out just how much i can write in one sitting! chances are, this is my last Arc-V fic, as all my remaining and upcoming projects are in the Vrains fandom. you never know though, i might hop back to Arc-V for one more fic!  
> again, thank you!
> 
> \- Lily-liegh


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